The Ornery P.S.A.

(Public Service Announcement)



It should not take a head injury

*after personally sustaining a head injury & coma*

to figure this out...









A Satirical Blog

*(utilizing articles discussing facts)*

By:  Susan MeeLing

After the head injury caused a coma while I learned how to deal with the headaches, migraines, cognitive disorders, memory problems, and other medical conditions I went from College Algebra with Trigonometry & Calculus down to 2nd grade math.  Here is how logic works for someone like me::

~  It took awhile for the doctor's recommendation to use sticky notes, to help remember.

~  It took several months to realize sticky notes moved, let alone to remember to speak with the doctor.

~  After I finally remembered to ask the doctor about the note problem, notebooks were recommended.

~  When I could remember to pick up a notebook, it took a long time to learn similar to sticky notes, notebooks are not always where they were placed.

~  After I was able to organize the notebooks over several months I still had not learned notebooks are not always readily available, at the necessary time.

~  When I remembered to speak with the doctor about the notebook problem the doctor had few other suggestions, to assist memories better.

~  After several events and adding up sticky note and notebook location problems, I realized my skin goes everywhere I do.

~  Wanting my tattoos to only be for me and not for public consumption I started the ink on my legs, able to hide easier.

~  It would not be until many tattoos and several years later I would realize my memory problems were usually not as bad when wearing shorts, capri pants, or a skirt.

~  Between 3-5 years after my first tattoo I had the first tattoo completed on my arms, and my memory has slowly progressed towards an easier memory jolt.



When I say "it should not take a head injury to figure this out" it is partially in humor from personal experiences, towards understanding.


If I can laugh at my mistakes after recognizing and dealing with them, so can you.


You have the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom I lack in order to put everything together to fix the problems seen with abilities I do not have. 


Utilize the information within the blog to find genuine repairs and instead of complaining of the "hurtful" commentary, prevent the issues from reoccurring.


Then again, it should not take a head injury to figure that one out.

Down the proverbial rabbit hole

Today after picking up the oil for my e cigarette and on my way back to my apartment, I was reminded of something which I looked up last night in reference to an old #CIA test series called #MKULTRA which had to do with the aspects of utilizing different forms of pharmaceuticals to induce specific behaviour to test various aspects while admittedly forgetting to look up if there was ever a point in which the government of the United States of America and/or other governments had been utilizing music and/or advertisements had been done for research purposes in reference to preventing shoplifting from occurring and such sorts of behaviour patterns. Admittedly an odd beginning for such a journal blog entry today, though follow me down the proverbial rabbit hole if you will for such musings. There is a point to such, for not only this particular journal blog entry though also in reference to other specific aspects for thought.

In regards of such in reference to the medical aspects and if there had been people other than an individual who I once considered as a friend who said her father was a resident at #JohnHopkins in which she admitted to being jealous in a negative way of his attention to his patients and having utilized some of his medical background for her own purposes without her own medical degree of any actual studies thereof, she also admitted to at one point in time of knowing a female who was in a car collision in which the female was in a coma for awhile and had completely forgotten their friendship. That individual had made mention of how she did not have the ability to reconcile with her own aspects for what she had done during the friendship before the aspects of the coma from the car collision in which the once friend had remembered her husband barely, though completely forgotten their friendship with one another. Admitting she had wanted to make amends for what she had done during their actual friendship and without the ability to do so after the coma, that individual admitted to using my after effects from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury wrongly to her benefit through testing to see whether or not I would remember what she did during the time we had known one another.

As I had not picked up on any of her trickery which she had done as she admitted from the years of 2008 from the first time I attended a Temple of Flesh event all the way through to the time of her admitting of her guilt in 2012 in her parent's house garage in #SanAntonio #Texas, such a confession she gave was in front of her submissive friend Alicia as well as a male who was a lawyer married to a female named Lisa. The individual's then fiance Brian was also in the garage who had been in the United States of America's Air Force branch at the time and all of the individuals in the garage including myself, were struck in shock and stunned; rightfully so, in my opinion. The individual said her attempts had increased more-so when her ex-husband and father of their three children of two daughters and one son had admitted to noticing me, to his ex-wife when they were still married. Such to her confession had sent her into a downward spiral in reference to needlessly causing a competition rift between her and I simply because additionally to her, of my bright red hair color as she colored her hair in a shade of red as well; albeit not the same style, nor the same shade of red.

The confessions was in addition to the fact the individual had been caught, booked, and arrested for stealing garden gnomes out from people's front yards of which she spent around 2 or 4 days in the San Antonio prison for. As she knew about what I was dealing with in reference of doing the best for my son and my daughter after what had occurred to my daughter in #Carrollton Texas at the #FWZoo during the field trip after the #McCoyElementarySchool of #CFBISD refused to put or even evaluate my daughter for #SpecialNeedsEducation and by the time of the field trip she should have been in the third tier of the Special Needs Education program, the individual had made mention of the large number of people who were there for her when she was standing in front of the judge for sentencing. After her admitting of what she had done in reference of the competition, the garden gnomes as she claimed she had feelings about the garden gnomes being trapped by the people who had them decorating their front yards for her to put into her backyard, as well as her illegally testing my medical after effects from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury while also admitting to practicing medical treatments without a license of any type or background of worth in my opinion though I believe others would agree; she admitted to using some of my clothing when she went to #Seattle #Washington to attend a #Swingers event as she had admitted she wished some of who I am would rub off onto her though she learned when up in the region of the lack of the transferability for such for what she was wishing for.

Just before leaving the garage out of pure disgust for what she admitted, the individual had the nerve to ask me if she had more people who were interested in her court case compared to what I would inevitably have to do as I had discussed the aspects of the insurance healthcare coverage issues for my daughter. Also admitting of her jealousy in a negative manner for having been a poster girl for the #TempleofFlesh event for #ExoticEaster and my involvement with at the times of, the individual had mentioned other aspects which she was upset at me about for what she admitted she lacked in her own personality, outfits, makeup, and choreography/dancing from what she said. When I walked away from her as the others had gradually walked away from the situation seeing the situation was horrific and seeing the individual for who she had been the whole time; I too walked away from her, and left the garage to go back to my apartment to deal with the combination of everything added to what I was already dealing with. Then there was the aspects of her having known of my medications I was taking at the time as well admittedly, which her submissive friend had admitted to telling her of my prescriptions as well as the times she had found me asleep outside on the patio after messages I had received online which were aligned with the threats I had told others of many times prior to returning back to San Antonio.

The irony of the threats of which her submissive friend had seen the messages of the threats, the bidding, and etcetera were considered not as important to either of them at the times of; which the irony of the fact of being kept locked at the foot of my capture's bed, in reference to the aspects of the room I was kept in under lock and key as well as the way the individual slept, who I had met at the #CowboysDanceHall of which I had attended #MidnightRodeo with her submissive friend who also had access to my laptop at the time through staying in my apartment briefly during the year. However as I explained in discussions as well as writings previously, I had only found one country dance club which had a live concert during the weekend in March 2013 despite looking within a one hour traveling distance of 60 to 80 miles.

Such continues into the reference point in regards of the CIA MKULTRA program aspect as not only the aspects in reference to the pharmaceuticals, though also the conditioning format of such as well. One of the aspects which that male had continuously repeated to me was he felt he knew of my so-called hatred of the state of Texas and the aspects of having to deny my life in the area to others. As that is impossible not only because I cannot tell a lie though also because of the fact I re-grew up in the state of Texas after waking up from the coma in the state of Texas at Fort Sam Houston, my son and my daughter having been conceived/born/raised in the state of Texas, living in different areas in the state of Texas, learning SCUBA Diving in the state of Texas, as well as the majority of my life events which I can remember being in the state of Texas; it seemed impossible then as it seems impossible now, to deny such realities. However he tried to get such to be while repeating how he knew of my hatred of the state of Texas, supposedly.

While the events since returning back to the state of Texas have absolutely infuriated and enraged me admittedly in reference to multiple aspects which I cannot be the only one who has been upset by such, the aspects which have gone too far are quite apparent. If the desire is for me to hate the state of Texas in the manner which not only Jesse Leroy Hoover Jr had stated and wanted were truly wanted by more than just he, then the situation currently in reference to the aspects since my return are on the correct path for such as it has gone on far too long. While I personally cannot deny being re-raised and re-growing up in the area as well as the situations throughout, I have not denied the portions which the sections of the problems have been causing such anger. However I have not been willing to blame the entire state of Texas for every specific aspect which has occurred from the time of waking up all the way through to this current point in 2020, however I also cannot deny at this point there is an admitted portion of me which is starting to wondering; especially in reference to the amount of situations which have occurred since my return, to only assist where I could in reference of the legalities if necessary.

I have done so in regards of the portions in reference to the different legal aspects as well as in reference to the SCUBA Diving aspects, while not forgetting the portions in reference to the situation in #Irving Texas at the apartment there. I have sent the books which at some point I thought would have been profitable in the ways which in regards of what I had seen and heard of other authors who have done so in specific referencing the fictional writings as well as the #SCUBADiving non-fiction while admitting the portions of which in the non-fiction of the FSL and The Modern Day Book understanding such would possibly be profitable in other ways for more than just myself, however wondering if it is because of the wanted aspects in regards of the stated aspects to hate the state of Texas are what was/is necessary for such to occur; at minimum, at this point. Though the CCBS was based in a fictional setting, there were the portions of which I thought such fiction could assist in a non-fiction setting. In reference to Fail-Safe, I was only writing in a scary sort of way in which that had been the only book I was writing to impress in a small sort of way; though more-so in reference of showing my son, I paid attention to what he was interested in and what he read and watched in reference to the Walking Dead show he was watching and some of the other comic books he was into. Since he liked using technology items, I thought that was a good addition; as I thought that would show him how much I paid attention, as well as cared and still do. Though since he technically challenged me by telling me he did not think I could write anything scary, I thought adding what I knew much of in reference to religious and spiritual aspects would be a good little faery-sized touch.

Though now more recently have I seen the aspects of the fiction or science fiction in regards of Fail-Safe, could actually be a bit more realistic and non-fiction than I initially thought was possible. I did not know of mercenaries before, I was simply being creative in my writing. I knew there are sharp shooters and Special Forces, though I thought the wording for something different was an inventive idea comparatively. I did not realize there actually are such groups, nor did I think when writing situations in reference to my book Fail-Safe of how some could possibly relate to the aspects of the different fighting scenes until more recently.

In a different point in regards to recent days, I was asked for the first time of what I experienced in my coma. I have been working on a sequel to Fail-Safe which in some ways though in a fictional setting, some might be able to make a joke in reference to certain similarities in aspects thereof. In combination with the portions of not being asked before and thinking that portion of which I wrote about being more-so in a fictional aspect because of remembering certain things in regards of other portions in reference to Fail-Safe in regards of certain discussions, I thought some of the discussions were just something creative while not thinking about the possibility of the suppressed aspects of when I was in the coma for awhile. I know I had the head injury on Psalm Sunday in 2000 and I woke up sometime in July in 2000, so the few weeks I was in the coma may have been a bit of time longer than I thought. I did not hear anyone talking in my room nor do I remember being in my room when waking from the coma as those portions were told to me by my biological father, it was not until the latter part of being in Illinois just before getting to Lackland or Kelly Air Force Base to fly to Fort Sill Oklahoma which I have a few memories here and there of my own. Though I do remember the doctors when getting to Fort Sam Houston after the Colonel and his wife spoke with some people had changed my orders from going to Fort Sill Oklahoma to go to Fort Sam Houston Texas, had told me I had a 50/50 chance when I was in the coma. There was a 50% chance I could have been a vegetable if they had drilled into my skull to remove the subarachnoid hemorrhage, and a 50% chance I would have died. They decided to see what would happen if the subarachnoid hemorrhage would go away or dissipate over time, which it took several years before it began to.

The CCBS, Fail-Safe, TAoSMSDE, and TPoTLBS were written for profit in the financial aspects while hoping such would assist and help; nonetheless were still written for the financial profits for myself. Though such may come across as selfish, such is a capitalism aspect which is of importance in reference to progress for the beneficial aspects for positively moving forward despite what some might think. No, I did not write to impress anyone as an additional point in case there are any who have wondered. Also I did not give any permission grants to anyone to make any recordings when in private, as I expected privacy when by myself and/or alone with a smaller number of people not in a public setting. If some have wondered why I have been more reserved than I was before, maybe it is because of feeling the heat from cameras as there is an energetic vibration which comes from such that warms my skin; not only in the camera sense, though also in reference to the sound recordings.

For example in my apartment, there should not be any recordings nor anything which would ever cause me to have to put the air conditioner on for if the temperature outside is below 95 degrees; as I learned that in my first apartment Lincoln Green in 2000 the aspects of which I learned such with far less technology compared to now, and the joke which can be made in regards of climate controlled. As little technology I personally put into my apartment, I should not have ever needed to put the air conditioner on. A brief example is when outside in the daytime when the sunlight is heating up the atmosphere and the weather is above 96 degrees, is when I begin to perspire if there is not a breeze. The same can be referred to in reference to any vehicle which I learned about myself, in 2000 as well. There is a reason why I could drive my VW Bug convertible with the top down in the Dallas Texas region during the winter months. Thus I repeat the portions of if wanting me to hate the state of Texas in reference to situations since returning back to the state of Texas, it only took how many years? 20 years, in reference to the combination thereof? If that is the preference, I suppose there are a few reasons I can think of in multiple regions which would lead to the ease of such. Yes? Though I guesstimate it would have taken most much less time as well as less situations, which would have lead to such for others.

However in reference to the PoTL series I can see now how that could be viewed despite being written in a fictional aspect, how such could be considered as a non-fiction aspect despite personally not having that sort of scenario. When thinking about such I suppose there would be the possibility of one individual who I had been involved with years ago who might fit a sort of the personality traits of Henry, though that individual and I have not been together in years. I do not recall telling him of such aspects, though I had introduced him to several people I knew at the time which could have been looked at in certain regards. I thought in reference to the PoTL series of such being able to help people understand different relationships in a more open and understanding sort of way, comparatively. Though there may have been some situations of which I explained some aspects he did not understand at the time he and I were involved, despite the scenario aspect of the character Nelumbo being extremely different than in the aspect of my personal real life.

In such combination while I had not discussed what I saw when I was in the coma before as I was not asked before, in turn the portions of which the individual I had once known who had been arrested for stealing garden gnomes had infuriated me in regards of testing my after effects from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head in jury; so too would such infuriate me if in reference to this quarantine/lockdown aspect instead of simply having the common courtesy to ask, as the one female had. Thus from my experiences and in my opinion from:

* as often as I dealt with conversations from my now dead-ex-husband when he was alive telling me how he thought I should not view the same way as the state of Texas as my home simply because of re-growing up in the state of Texas,

* in combination of Christine saying she was a real Texan because she was born and raised in Abilene and the aspects of her hatred of where I initially grew up in New Jersey and the events of 11 September 2001,

* with the additional aspects of the amount of people I met intermittently who had similar thought points in reference to their statements to me about not being considered a true Texan because of their beliefs of how many generations of their bloodline,

* with the additional points of Cactus Jack AKA Jeffrey Kuykendall Jr in reference to not only having been made fun of for not knowing Pop Culture aspects though also not being considered as a real Texan just because I woke up here and re-grew up here,

* in addition to the individuals I knew in the Pagan and the BDSM lifestyles who said similar aspects to me repeatedly,

* in conjunction with all of the situations in reference to both conversations I dealt with up and down I35 as well during the times before the second and final separation from who is my now dead-ex-husband,

* just as additionally of what occurred to both my daughter and my son when after my and gone on with the additional points of the aspects of the legalities from such including the aspects of the different portions involved,

* as well as the preference of my biological sister because of her having married into a Texan family comparatively while the choice by many to ignore the realities of what my son/daughter/I were dealing with of which could have helped as the claim to move to the state of Texas was supposed to be to help me with my son and my daughter though the realistic aspects of attempting to outrun Patricia's reputation though who she was is who she is,

* all before how I wound up in Washington state while also after others wrongly had ignored of the fact in reference to my SCUBA Diving while not forgetting how I had been treated because of how I look because of the after effects from my Psalm Sunday in 2000 head injury to simply not be a problem;

* to then return to the state of Texas after what occurred during how I wound up in Washington state and what happened during my Medal of Honor Art Project knowing now of the wrongful involvement of individuals from the state of Texas for the justice aspects in reference to prior situations ironically to help the state of Texas though because of the aspects since

* less than one month from completing my book series of The Adventures of Susan MeeLing, SCUBA Diver Extraordinaire of the lockdown and masking situation of which in my opinion if you want to wear a mask that is your choice though do not force me to wear a mask and do not force anyone who does not want to wear a mask to do so for if you want to hide then that is your choice though do not force others to hide because you cannot deal with your own truths

* as well as the combinations of those who had chosen to get involved due to their misconceptions and/or biased wrong information such as Patrick Kennedy's son Aiden who was born in West Virginia though spent the majority of his life in Ohio and did not ever live in the state of Texas before 2013 of whom similar to his biological father in lesser ways having nothing to do with him despite telling his Grandmother of how I had told her son to get the money to Patrick's ex-wife for proper child support though no direct involvement with Aiden ever as unlike some people when in a relationship as well as after a relationship, I do not believe in forcing that to occur in any type or form of communication and as a Mom who raised my son and my daughter on my own and not wanting to just randomly introduce random aspects into their lives not wanting to be hypocritical in such as anyone I had dated/been involved with who had children if honest would say of such truths (though I type of this admittedly because of thinking I had seen Aiden older than a picture Patrick Kennedy had shown me of his son when I was in Washington state during the filming and/or discussion of filming the show that was supposed to be called "The Guardian Assholes" though I was told Amazon did not allow the show to go onto the streaming because of the content and the correct buttons not being clicked for the information before it was pulled from availability to see as well as thinking I saw Aiden in the apartment complex I moved into back in 2019 scurrying to his apartment on the floor beneath mine when I was walking up the stairs after spending time in the front office before I had gotten internet into my apartment) and as a side note if I am not considered as a true Texan then Aiden definitely would not be considered as such by the same standards correct?

* in addition to each day or each week being told by the individual who I met at Cowboys Dancehall who repeatedly told me of how he thought of his feelings for the state of Texas should be how I felt from 2013 through to 2018

Thus in reference of the original aspects of the journal blog entry post of the old CIA MKULTRA aspect if the attempt was to use various aspects and attempts to get me to hate the state of Texas, okay after 20 years is only how long that took to start such feelings to begin. Though it probably would have been quicker if actual Texans were directly involved more-so than those who were not born, raised, and/or re-raised in the state of Texas to get that to be; since the majority of individuals involved with such were not born in Texas nor raised in Texas. the larger group of such were college students of some type who had moved to the state of Texas for college and/or transferred to the area who attempted such. Those who were from and/or raised in the state of Texas who attempted such were those who were from different areas who also had their admitted biases against the United States of America's Armed Forces of which obviously that aspect was not changed in my opinion as I am how I am as I have been how I have been about the different branches service members of the United States of America's Armed Forces as can be seen in my respect throughout my Medal of Honor Art Project. A different ironic coinky dink is the amount of Medal of Honor recipients remains being buried in the San Antonio area of the sate of Texas where the majority of time for my re-growing up area had been compared to the other areas while not forgetting where I initially grew up in the minimal ways I could recall.

In turn the lower portion of this journal blog entry is a writing I had done years ago of which I had attempted to explain many times over to different people in the state of Texas, to be more careful and mindful of how they chose to treat such individuals. The title I created for such in my original fetlife account name I created of Lady Dori Belle is titled "Military and BDSM Lifestyle Collision", which I will add additional commentary points afterwards.

The Beginning...

This older writing is being posted just 5 days after Armed Forces Day, on 18 May 2013. (Armed Forces Day is the 3rd Saturday of every May) This is a writing that was harder for me to write, for several reasons.

First and foremost, I am writing this for all of the F/females and M/males who have willingly signed the line to join any of the Armed Forces for the United States of America to become Government Issued (G.I. – the origination of that term) Soldier.

Had it not been for these people, we, as a nation, the United States of America; would never be allowed to write, speak, or anything else; as we all take for granted in America at times.

Secondly, I write this for anyone looking to have any form of relationship (whether romantic and/or friendship and/or play) with someone who is former service; as the mentality for civilians, for military, and then military who have returned to civilian status ALL have different mind-sets to the laws governing the population at large.

Finally, I write this for myself, as I have been within the BDSM Lifestyle since I was 22 years old; being introduced to The Scene in 2004. I am former military, actually; I am “Medically Retired” from the Army due to a Head Injury that I sustained in 2000, when I was 17 years old, in my Basic Training, due to a Drill Sergeant who knocked me into a coma, and “gifting” me with many side-effects from the incident.

The Middle...

Personally, I have watched and experienced soldiers from all different decades interact within The Scene; as well as my own personal experiences in the vanilla realms of existence.

One major problem when it comes to (former) soldiers and civilians within the Lifestyle is that the military is a “Lifestyle” unto itself. In civilian life, one only has to keep the state and federal laws within their minds to make their legal choices.

Whereas, someone who is military; one must adhere to whatever state’s laws, all federal laws, whatever country’s laws – if stationed overseas, as well as the Universal Code of Military Justice (UCMJ).

And some wonder why those in the military can be so up-tight? ;-)

The laws that must be followed alone, creates a great amount of stress that very few can comprehend.

Even if a person is a “military brat” (a parent/guardian who was serving the military), those dependents do not and cannot fathom all that the actual person who was enlisted as an officer or as an enlisted NCO (Non Commissioned Officer) soldier must deal with.

Not just within the military’s lifestyle, but also when interacting with civilians.

Very few civilians can fully understand that as the military “conditions” the soldiers to be mindful of their surrounding…that means ALL surroundings.

So if one sees a former soldier looking all throughout a room/area/building…most likely they are scoping out the scenery to see what exits are where, who and/or what possible threats could be, emergency stations, where exits are, etc.

Now add to all regulations that one must follow (also depending on rank and officer versus enlisted versus Non-Commissioned Officer depends on other rules that must be adhered to); the fact that the government makes a VERY SMALL EFFORT to try to reintegrate military personnel back to being a civilian…

The programs, while MUCH better than even 1 decade ago; it still has many areas that do not aid all soldiers; let alone actually assisting the soldiers and their families in a way that truly benefits all and society as a whole.

Also, depending upon which era and branch a soldier was/is in, that’s another aspect that needs to be taken into consideration for the person’s mind-set.

Someone who was a soldier during the Korean War as a PVT-2 is going to have a different thought process from one who was a Colonel during Desert Shield and/or Desert Storm who will think differently from a E-7 to an O-2 who had not been involved during “War Time”; and so on.

The final aspect that I will address in this section is:

  • How the soldier was treated while in service?

  • Were they state-side or overseas and in another country?

  • If they were stationed overseas; where?

  • What vaccines did the soldier receive?

  • What shots did the person have before/during/after being sent overseas?

  • Are any shots/vaccines/medications that were/are administered still under consideration by the FDA and/or that have not been approved of for human consumption?

  • Was said individual within the War Zones?

  • Were they on the front line or were they in the center of the base where no mortars/explosives could touch?

  • What was their job?

  • What did they have to do/go through/endure while overseas?

  • What was their job assignment overseas?

  • What was the soldier originally told the mission would be versus what actually happened?

  • Were they, or anyone that they knew; a Prisoner of War (POW) or killed in action, or Gods forbid; any of this done in front of said individual?

  • If state-side or overseas, was the person injured?

  • How?

  • Were they in Medical Hold/Warrior Transition Unit?

  • What treatment did/do they have to under-go?

  • What medications are they on?

  • Side effects?

As many soldiers are and have transitioned (as best as possible) to the civilian realm of life; many do not comprehend the differences stated above or even the mind-set within the individuals.

What does that mean concerning the BDSM Lifestyle?

With the influx of injuries ranging from amputees to burn victims to PTSD to TBIs to0 Anthrax injections gone wrong to all between and beyond; the BDSM Lifestyle must look at the potential issues that one may encounter.

When one is interacting with a soldier who is an amputee, there are some common sense things to keep in mind; in some aspects. Other aspects, may not be so available or open to the public knowledge base.

* 1.) Lost Appendage(s)

ONE: If one is within the realm of an amputee, do not stare at the wound.

That is rude, first and foremost.

As if they have enough of a complex about their lost limb(s), those actions are only making it worse on their psyche.

TWO: An amputee usually goes through the problem of “Ghost Limb” when originally having whatever accident that caused the situation.

“Ghost Limb” is when one swears that the person says that they “feel” the limb and anything that happens to it (i.e. someone bumping into the area, they would scream in agony and pain, even though the appendage is not physically there)

THREE: Please do NOT ask questions about their injuries, what they went through, etc.; unless THAT PERSON brings up the topic.

If they feel comfortable enough to talk about what happened, then they will.

Do not force them to re-live their incidents any more than they already do.

However, a little known fact about an amputee is that they have a higher amount of concentrated control over the lost limb (especially, if they have a prosthetic replacement); so, fe/males who enjoy penetration WITH a large amount of force and/or vibration…start talking with someone you know and RESPECTFULLY inquire…


* 2.) Burn Victims

Those who have suffered any form of burns from a fire that may have broken out due to [enter reason here; i.e. mortar attack/explosion or an oil fire or etc.], have severe thought issues with their different skin coloration, texture, and so on; from their injuries that were sustained.

Two very simple ideas when presented before said soldier, to keep in mind.

ONE: Do not stare. (See #1 above)

TWO: Do not inquire about their injuries, unless that person feels comfortable enough to speak about things with you. (See #1 above)

THREE: Do NOT ask questions about their injuries, what they went through, etc.; unless THAT PERSON brings up the topic. (See #1 above)

* 3.) PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)

PTSD in now recognized within medical textbooks as being a valid mental health disorder. Finally and formally being recognized in the 1980’s, and yet, unfortunately to this day, PTSD is still questioned as to whether or not it is a “valid” medical issue.

Many people other than military or law enforcement personnel have been through an extremely traumatic event within the civilian realm. Soldiers of all forms; whether Active Duty/Emergency Medical Service individuals/Reservist/Fire Department/National Guard/ Police/ Coast Guard/ etc.; those people are not the only ones who are at risk to be diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Just because someone is any of the versions of a “city’s soldier” (i.e.: Police/EMS/Fire) or military or Homeland Security and so on; that is not the only career field that can make a person susceptible to being exposed to a traumatic event/injury in one’s life.

There are many civilians, whether it is child or adult or elderly or any timeframe in-between, who have been diagnosed with PTSD due to a car accident/assault(s)/and any other experience that lead the individual to having physical, mental, emotional, and sometimes ~ spiritual issues that arise within themselves and then manifest within their reality. Just because one may not have been through extensive training and was in situation(s) that put that person into firing range or forcing them to defend themselves to the death with another being or assault or weaponry or etc.; that does not exclude another from experiencing this illness.

As every one of the above injuries are the same as PTSD within the realm of the medical problems not being exclusive to soldiers.

A few easy thoughts when in front of said person, to keep in mind:

ONE: Do not stare if the person is starting to become aggravated/upset/distraught/having a flashback/etc. (See #1 and #2 above)

TWO: If you are NOT someone who is a medically trained personnel, if you have no experience with mental health, and MOST IMPORTANTLY ~ if you do not know the individual and/or their past; do not get close to the person who is reacting to what it is that they are reliving. Allow the person to have plenty of space to breathe, as when one goes into a manic mode, spatial relation is thrown out of the window. Someone who looks as if they are only a few inches from the affected individual’s body/face; that person may feel that the other who is not knowing of/understanding/involved/previous experience and/or understanding feel very claustrophobic and cause more stress and problems.

THREE: Do not inquire about the cause of their injuries, unless that person feels comfortable enough to speak about things with you. (See #1 and #2 above)

* 4.) Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)/Head Injury

As the brain is one of the most sensitive organs within the body, if there is a major accident where the head is struck into another object; the damage that could occur may or may not physically manifest to where another person would be able to look at the affected to say, “Yes. That person has for-sure had a TBI because I see [enter physical condition here, i.e. drooping or lazy or wandering eyes or loss of use in certain body areas/parts].”

For the most part, most who have met someone who has been a victim to circumstance would not be able to tell a TBI from a non-TBI individual as most of the damage is done to the brain itself.

As the brain is held within the skull which is filled with and surrounded by many different layers; it is not common to have the ability to distinguish one individual from the next with a TBI.

Add to that, all people react physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually different from one another when the exact same event in every single way occurs; such is the same with brain injuries.

Whereas one may have short term memory loss, another may have long term memory loss, and another may have all or a varying of the two.

As some may experience loss of function and/or ability, what was once previously more than capable for the individual’s hobby/interests/occupation/etc.; now may be extremely difficult for them to be able to accomplish. Sometimes, that person never regains the knowledge or skills, once so cherished and now interrupted by the damage done to the neurons and cranium activity.

Many lose intellect that they once went to schooling to receive formal education; even non-formal information as well.

Others develop pain in various points within their body. Usually headaches and/or migraines are very common, but others have had medical issues arise that range from spinal problems, to muscular control issues, to etc.

A lot of people become sensitive to lights, sounds, smells, and/or even touch at random moments as others see “glitter” when they open their eyes to see at times.

Some easy thoughts when in front of said person, to keep in mind:

ONE: If there is a physical conditioned that formed from the trauma; do not stare. (See #1, #2, and #3 above)

TWO: If the individual out of the blue has a medical issues that arise; do not panic or move too quickly around the affected.

THREE: Do not inquire about the cause of their injuries, unless that person feels comfortable enough to speak about things with you. (See #1, #2, and #3 above)

FOUR: If you are not a medically trained personnel, if you have no experience with anyone with the exact same medical diagnosis, and MOST IMPORTANTLY ~ if you do not know the individual and/or their past; do not get close to the person who is reacting to their medical issues. Allow the person to have plenty of space to breathe, as when one goes into a manic mode, spatial relation is thrown out of the window. Someone who looks as if they are only a few inches from the affected individual’s body/face; that person may feel that the other who is not knowing of/understanding/involved/previous experience and/or understanding feel very claustrophobic and cause more stress and problems. (See #3 above)

FIVE: Because the brain is a delicate organ and the slightest bit of damage can cause major effects after the incident, there is no such thing as consistency with someone who has suffered a TBI.

In one moment, the individual can appear to be “ok” (though inside the attack is bound to happen shortly), the next second the person suffering from a TBI can not comprehend where they are located and/or who they are with and/or what they were talking about and/or who they were speaking to on the phone and/or etc.

The Ending...

With the amount of soldiers that have returned as well as those who are/will return to the civilian world; but in this instance, within the BDSM Lifestyle; we as a community need to begin to be aware of those who are entering or who have/will enter the Lifestyle and their medical diagnosis.

The military does not recondition soldiers to return to the civilian life…if there are few resources for those individuals within the “normal” realm of society…then…what do we, as a community, need to look at to aid the soldiers in the BDSM world?

No two people will ever have the exact same injury.

No two individuals will react the same way in any form.

No two bodies are completely and 100% identical.

Therefore, no two people will have the same aftermath from any injury.

If not for the law enforcement, those who put their life on the line to protect/defend, and military, in the United States of America, we would not have the freedoms that we all enjoy and take for granted.

These M/males and F/females have given up all of their personal liberties for others, and in the end of their service; they usually leave with many issues and problems versus having all of the “benefits” that many people think that a soldier receives throughout their service time; as well as long after.

Instead of fearing the unknown…be aware and learn…

Admittedly getting the third Sunday incorrect though possibly referencing the day of my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury as if I am correct that is the day of the month which the date changes though not the day itself, though the sarcastic terminology in reference to the gifting portion I can make a joke in reference to the area which is on Fort Sam Houston which I did not know until 2019 of The Gift Chapel. Then the ironic aspect of the part in which the average number per day of veteran suicides being the number of 22 in regards of the official time when getting involved with the BDSM lifestyle of the age of 22 years old, is another correlation of which now in 2020 I can see certain oddities. Maybe if there were more who understood and were more compassionate towards such individuals as I had warned for many years, the suicide rate would not be at such a number for them. Though I had not been stationed overseas nor graduated Basic Training, while in Medical Hold Unit before it became Warrior Transition Unit and the irony of the meaning for my daughter's name Lidia Louise of Warrior Queen; I did understand and comprehend the UCMJ before joining the United States of America's Armed Forces, though I had to relearn the aspects of the UCMJ in reference to after waking up from the coma from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury because of what I had gone through when in Medical Hold Unit.

Back when writing such the portions which I had noticed up to the point of in 2013, the need for the assistance to reintegrate the active duty/national guard/reservists/veterans into the civilian sector while also assisting the civilian sector to be more understanding of the individuals who put their lives on the line for the United States of America was and is of importance to me. I knew many individuals when I was growing up in New Jersey of different levels throughout just as I had after waking up from my coma in the state of Texas, which had confused me as to why such was a problem in such a largely populated area of individuals with military connections to the United States of America's Armed Forces. Maybe not the same as the terminology of continental divide though such could be referred to in reference to the civilian and military divide, which needed better and clearer understanding for both sides and aspects; though not forgetting the timeframes of the different military time experiences as well as the different ranking levels of throughout the different branches.

While there are those who might wonder as to how I could write such in reference to the journal blog entry back in 2013, the fact is of the reference to when I grew up in New Jersey as well as in reference to when re-growing up in the state of Texas from the time when in Medical Hold Unit to even the current times. In my opinion which I guesstimate there are many who can agree, while there have been many who fought for the rights of others throughout the civilian sector rightfully so in different circumstances; it felt as though there was no one paying attention to those who had given up so much for so many, which such needed the attention for. While various aspects within the civilian sector were needing adjustments admittedly here and there, what I could not understand was how no one had listened all the years I spoke of such prior to writing that particular journal blog entry or had not taken such into consideration as much previously. Though I know there were and are those who had noticed such before maybe the inability to say such was a situation or possibly even in reference to not realizing the depth level thereof, as each battle and war had different aspects of not only in the military sector though also in the public sector. Maybe some did not understand how much each individual soldier of each branch goes through for each level of training or maybe there was not the understanding of the portions throughout the aspects of when in various battles/wars, though such has been something I paid much attention to despite not having graduated Basic Training; though admittedly I had noticed such before fighting to be emancipated to join the United States of America's Armed Forces Army branch, just as I had noticed such after waking up to be in San Antonio and throughout the state of Texas.

Though I admit I had wrote such in hopes to open the eyes to various individuals both in the military connected sector as well as the civilian sector as for so long it seemed as though my words spoken had fallen on deaf ears, though I felt as though there were many who knew better of how to put into words for clearer understanding than I could briefly explain comparatively in both the short term and the long term; though by the portions of time in reference to the aspects of from 2009 through to 2013, bringing up the additional points in reference to those who are children of and the treatment and experiences. Not only because of what my son and my daughter had experienced or even myself in reference to being the legal widow of someone who graduated Basic Training, though in addition to the already stated points I had been discussing from 2001 though 2013. I admit there had been a news report years ago I had listened to and during such forced myself to watch in reference to an individual who had earned the Navy Cross who was treated horribly at college, which that had stuck with me as it truly hurt my heart to listen to such. Back then I had pointed out the fact the females who had attacked him would not be able to speak if it were not for what he and others had done to preserve the Constitutional Rights, just as the males who had done so would not be able to speak freely if it were not for what he and others had done for such and for the safety thereof. I dealt with what I dealt with in reference to the conversation in regards to when discussing such with my now dead-ex-husband for standing up for the beliefs I had and feelings I felt in regards of that individual who earned the Navy Cross, which I suppose I can look back and see such a stance had not changed in regards to my personal views thereof. I knew the Navy Cross was one of the highest awards one can earn in the Navy for the United States of America's Armed Forces closest to the Medal of Honor, though also admittedly having attempted to get into the Marine and Science Technology School with the Navy attachment had been something I had not brought up nearly as much back in the various discussions at that time or since then comparatively from 2000 through 2013. Admittedly it took a bit pun intended in reference of the Vandenberg, to sink in.

The ultimate measure of an individual is not where they stand in moments of comfort and convenience, but where they stand at the time of challenge and controversy.

We must reject the idea that everytime a law is broken society is guity, rather than the law breaker. 

Freedom is never-more than one generation away, from exinction.  We do not pass freedom on through our blood stream because freedom must be fought for, protected, and handed on for the next generation to do the same.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

It should not take a head injury to figure this out, because you are smarter.

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Reverend MeeLing

The Ornery PSA


Thank you for taking the time to look through this website and please, enjoy your day.

Brightest blessings to all, for the highest good.

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