The Ornery P.S.A.

(Public Service Announcement)



It should not take a head injury

*after personally sustaining a head injury & coma*

to figure this out...









A Satirical Blog

*(utilizing articles discussing facts)*

By:  Susan MeeLing

After the head injury caused a coma while I learned how to deal with the headaches, migraines, cognitive disorders, memory problems, and other medical conditions I went from College Algebra with Trigonometry & Calculus down to 2nd grade math.  Here is how logic works for someone like me::

~  It took awhile for the doctor's recommendation to use sticky notes, to help remember.

~  It took several months to realize sticky notes moved, let alone to remember to speak with the doctor.

~  After I finally remembered to ask the doctor about the note problem, notebooks were recommended.

~  When I could remember to pick up a notebook, it took a long time to learn similar to sticky notes, notebooks are not always where they were placed.

~  After I was able to organize the notebooks over several months I still had not learned notebooks are not always readily available, at the necessary time.

~  When I remembered to speak with the doctor about the notebook problem the doctor had few other suggestions, to assist memories better.

~  After several events and adding up sticky note and notebook location problems, I realized my skin goes everywhere I do.

~  Wanting my tattoos to only be for me and not for public consumption I started the ink on my legs, able to hide easier.

~  It would not be until many tattoos and several years later I would realize my memory problems were usually not as bad when wearing shorts, capri pants, or a skirt.

~  Between 3-5 years after my first tattoo I had the first tattoo completed on my arms, and my memory has slowly progressed towards an easier memory jolt.



When I say "it should not take a head injury to figure this out" it is partially in humor from personal experiences, towards understanding.


If I can laugh at my mistakes after recognizing and dealing with them, so can you.


You have the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom I lack in order to put everything together to fix the problems seen with abilities I do not have. 


Utilize the information within the blog to find genuine repairs and instead of complaining of the "hurtful" commentary, prevent the issues from reoccurring.


Then again, it should not take a head injury to figure that one out.

Online as well as Real Life Experiences with questioning towards references to Human Trafficking

There have been news articles discussing various aspects of human trafficking and targeting thereof in which I am writing this article in regards to personal experiences, in a few different ways of which need to be addressed and rectified in better ways. This will be completed in timeline order as best as I can to assist law enforcement in whatever regards and though I know there are ways for them to verify other aspects as quickly as I can type, for the legal purposes of which might make things easier. Though I had written of many aspects in my first two books "Finding A Silver Lining By: Susan MeeLing" and "Finding the Silver Lining By: Susan MeeLing" as I looked through the pages I can see where my issues with technology had caused issues when sending in aspects of the information I had saved because I know I had other written points in each of what I had sent to CID; and thus this is to clarify where whatever happened in Washington state which caused problems when sending in the electronic information scanned and uploaded can be clarified for their legal aspects for justice.


Grandpa Nichols: James Walker Nichols: Birth in Alabama and death in Texas; buried in Dallas/Fort Worth National Cemetery one section over from the location of my dead-ex-husband Robert Walker Nichols: Vietnam Veteran and Drill Sergeant for 6 years, last Duty Station at Fort Polk Louisiana and/or Carswell Air Naval Base

In reference to the Dallas/Fort Worth Veterans Affairs hospital, I am the one who went to the nurse's station to get his IV taken care of as his wife and his daughter allowed the IV to infiltrate without getting him help; after his wife had ran over his foot with her car (then a Ford Focus dark blue); and when I had gotten back to the house in Fort Worth I had been scolded for getting the doctor to look at the IV while checking also at the same time on who was his roommate from Louisiana as well who was also from the Vietnam era and had not had contact with his family before then but when I brought over a slice of peach cobbler pie to his side of the room I convinced him to try to contact his family for a just in case and when I came back the following day (it was a Friday night showing up for the weekend and Saturday was the following day) he called me over to his side of the room as soon as he heard my voice and said he contacted his children and his brothers and sisters and was able to feel at peace which I said "I am glad, hopefully everything works out for the better for all of you". Grandpa Nichols passed away after Grandma Nichols had gotten into a car accident and though Susie Marie Nichols Lopez attributes his death to "feeling though he lost his wife" the reality I have doubted since she ever uttered those words to me; especially after watching how she treated him at the house in Fort Worth as well as in the Dallas/Fort Worth VA hospital as I suspected she had something to do with his IV infiltration there and I suspected since she had been the last person to see him alive before the call from the hospital, I thought she had something to do with the death of her father for her mom's request but when I spoke with some of that hospital staff at the civilian hospital they told me "You're not on his paperwork as family, so we can't talk with you about anything" and I had no idea what to do in regards to that. I do apologize but if this typed writing assists, then I have tried again as I do try. I guesstimate it is known I cannot tell a lie and though I do get confused at times, I have a sneaking suspicion it has been realized the "normal tells" for other people as signals for untruths are not able to be read in regards to me in the same way as it is usually just me trying to figure out the words to explain with the minimalist amount of swearing and cursing (I guesstimate)

In regards to Grandma Nichols: Lydia Evongelina (?Surname from the Dominican Republic?) Nichols: Birth in the Dominican Republic and as far as I know she is still alive: last known address Dorsey Lane in Fort Worth Texas off of Anglin Drive from I35 in Fort Worth: worked at M and M bottling company for over 20 years by the time I had been introduced to the family, admitted she had put fiberglass into feminine products at the work plant, admitted to putting 3 boxes of ex-lax to one box of brownies she purposely put into the employee refrigerator without a label on the brownies, admitted to putting crushed glass into the drinks of her cousins in the Dominican Republic as well as a few people in the state of Texas (though I do not remember their names), laughed when she discussed taking a cast iron skillet to the side of Grandpa Nichols' head and how he had hid in the back room after that event, laughed when discussing how she purposefully ran over Grandpa Nichols' foot and left him there at the house in Fort Worth while Susie their daughter watched and left after she did, purchased multiple items from Susie to return to Home Depot and Lowe's knowing was stolen merchandise for store credit to use to furnish her house and yard as well as purchased the store gift cards from Susie knowing exactly how the process worked starting in 2008 and I do not know how long that continued but in 2010 they were still doing that the last time I spoke with them, purchased stolen food stamps from Susie, encouraged Susie to fight the people who were at the McDonald's in Forest Hill for my son James Michael ( Nichols)' first birthday and was mad at me for defending the other people who had the right to the space at the McDonald's restaurant in Forest Hill Texas because when I acknowledged they had wasted the employee's time at McDonald's as well as the people who had reserved the spot after us I was told I was "taking sides" which I technically was taking sides - the people's side who was correct and justified for the fact they too had paid for the space and because of Susie and Grandma Nichols wasting everyone's time those people had to wait for everyone to clear out as I got yelled at for moving everything over so they could have their birthday party too from the Nichols while pregnant with my daughter Lidia Louise (Nichols) and not getting involved with the physical altercation Susie started and though later I was told they had blue bandannas the point was mute to me because of the fact they had paid for the space just as Grandma Nichols paid for the space for the different times and when her daughter Susie wanted to press charges for a fight she started first and I refused to testify on Susie's behalf because I was not going to lie to a Judge I got in trouble for that even more so than I already had prior to that court-case because she complained to her brother my dead-ex-husband

In regards to my dead-ex-husband Sergeant Robert Walker Nichols and his family:

Eldest: Brother: Tony Walker Nichols: Married to Gail (?middle name and last name prior to marrying Tony?) with 1 son Robert and 2 daughters Amber and Torrie living in Lawton Oklahoma last known address area. Tony Walker Nichols a contractor plumber and worked at Fort Sill Oklahoma as Gail worked for the company Circle K last known

~ No known illegal offenses though for a point for recognition to find and locate beyond contractor for Fort Sill from around 2004 through to ?current? had been Other Than Honorably Discharged from The United States of America's Army for having Marijuana in his system which he had done so to prevent having to go to Germany not to derelict from duties but to prevent his now ex-wife from causing more damage to his credit and his life (ex-wife: Carrie); if what I told him about to be able to upgrade from Other Than Honorable to Honorable has not already been squared away; please ensure. Also Tony is whom I gave all weapons of the firearms including the gun safes and ammunition with the keys for each gun lock to after his brother my dead-ex-husband had died of which was also supposed to include the Gamma III gun safe and the Baby Desert Eagle of which I did not remember when after moving to Carrollton Texas because of the medications I was on and the mixture thereof when I mailed the Gamma III gun safe (empty I thought) to Boca Raton Florida to "Cactus Jack" AKA Jeffrey Kuykendall Jr's childhood friend Jennifer (a former exotic dancer/stripper for the Texas area before moving to Florida with her boyfriend/fiance who was in construction) at "Cactus Jack"'s AKA Jeffrey Kuykendall Jr's and Jennifer's suggestion because of my lack of ability to understand or remember correctly at the time due to my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury as well as the medications adding to the confusions to the memory deficits and cognitive disorders at the time even though "Cactus Jack" AKA Jeffrey Kuykendall Jr had been at the house when Tony Walker Nichols arrived in San Antonio Texas to pick up all of the gun safes and all of the keys and all of the ammunition and all of the firearms (1 gun safe: black powder rifles; 1 gun safe: black powder pistols; 1 gun safe: regular modern day rifles; 1 gun safe: regular modern day pistols; 1 gun safe: keys to the individual gun locks for each one of the firearms in all of the safes; 1 gun safe: ammunition [I had told my dead-ex-husband before the first separation he was to get one gun safe or if he did not, "I will go Virgo New Jersey gun laws on those" and when for several months he did not get that taken care of when I finally remembered (the first discussion happened at Lincoln Green Apartments when I found out I was pregnant but I finally remembered when living in the house at Heritage Place Dr for the final few months before purchasing the gun safes myself : of which probably shows my memory issues for that though patience as well) and thus when I did purchase the gun safes because he would not simply purchase 1 gun safe big enough I did my Virgo thing and organized each of the firearms by type for each gun safe and then only because I was being spiteful, I got the gun locks key safe for the keys which the gun locks were previously purchased since my dead-ex-husband when he was alive was willing to leave the firearms anywhere around where we were living instead of keeping them locked at all and thus I got the safe for the keys with the rings for labeling but he had to do the labeling if he wanted to know which gun was which and since he was too lazy to do that I was the only one who knew by looking which gun lock key went to which gun lock on which firearm]; however Tony also was informed of what his dead brother had done when in Georgetown with the Glock 45 in the leather concealed carry case with the 2-4 extra clips fully loaded on top of the fully loaded clip with an extra round in the chamber of either hollow point bullets or talons; I sincerely apologize for not remembering which type of ammunition but I did deal with the conversation to make Robert call the Georgetown Police Department to make sure those Police Officers and their counterparts were knowledgeable and as safe as possible as well as the citizens of the area by making him call to file a report for the lost firearm : though I did not inform Tony of what type of conversation that it took to get that call to happen for the Glock 45 early in 2003

Eldest Sister: Mary Evongelina Nichols : Married Last Name: O'Steen with 2 daughters Sondra Marie O'Steen (had at least one child) and Ariel Marie O'Steen; married to David O'Steen who was/is in The United States of America's Air Force; last known address in Macon Georgia near Robbins Warner Air Force Base; last known employment for Mary at a Dentist's Office as per what Susie her sister told me

In regards to David O'Steen the only aspect of which I am aware of is he rides Harley Davidson Motorcycles and joined The United States of America's Air Force and graduated Basic Training at Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio Texas just a few months before 11 September 2001 and I had to defend his choice to his wife Mary because she wanted him to stay with the higher paying company he was working on airplanes at, but I told him as well as her why I had joined The Army branch of The United States of America's Armed Forces after having defended his choice to his wife to let Mary know she needed to support him because she knew nothing of what was to come for The United States of America at that time-frame as I told David and the Grandparents Grandma and Grandpa Nichols "I still feel what I fear in my bones"; Mary whose eldest is of another man's blood lines and Ariel I am unsure of if David is the father though could be biologically had joked and laughed about Sondra not being David's daughter at the house in Fort Worth in front of Susie's children as well as Grandma Nichols as well as Grandma Nichols' friends as well as the next door neighbor as well as when at Mimi's house diagonally across the street and then became irate that I told her she was wrong for telling that to people and laughing about such; when going to the graduation at Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio 2001 for David's graduation when Mary/Sondra/Ariel were in the Ford Windstar van my military identification card had gone missing and Mary told me after the Braxton-Hicks started because of frantically searching for my military identification card that "It's nothing to worry about, just get a new one after the graduation ceremony" of which if she had not hypothetically stolen my military identification card the letter she sent to my address in Cedar Park would not have been possible for her to send to that address because after my children James Michael (Nichols) and Lidia Louise (Nichols) had informed me of the abuses Grandma Nichols with her friends had allowed to them as well as Susie Marie Nichols Lopez had allowed and did - I had every legal right to keep my son and daughter safe from those 'people' from their continued abuse to me individually as well as to my children especially after what each Grandma Nichols as well as Susie Marie Nichols Lopez said in regards to my "son being more important because of carrying on the last name"; Mary had joked about holding one of their neighbors in Macon Georgia at gun point with a revolver because he wanted to use the phone in her house to call for help and instead of bringing the phone outside to him or just saying no she invited him into the house and only after he started using the phone did she put the loaded gun to the side of his head while he made his phone call, another time Mary had used a firearm illegally (in my opinion) was when she thought a neighbor had stolen her Blood Hound Dog named Elvis of which when I asked how she could know and she said "because of how he sounds when he howls" which was not a good enough excuse for such Mary laughed about going to the person's house with a firearm and when they opened the door the second time she pointed the firearm at the male to demand him to give her the dog of which I told her "I don't think illegal use of force with a deadly weapon which could also be construed as attempted manslaughter in the minimalist ways for such is okay in any court of law and certain crimes such as that do not ever have an end to the statue of limitations because of the deadly weapon part of, if you don't know and are obviously quite unaware. You probably shouldn't joke about that with just anyone because if someone recognizes that story as their friend/family member and thought for a long time they were just overly drunk or whatever and then found out it was real, you might not comprehend how far someone might go to ensure you get served justice as cold as the steel from that firearm when put into a freezer" as she laughed at me saying "You're so dramatic" and I said "No, you don't comprehend how certain things can go in this world as you think its a funny joke to point a firearm in someone's face, not caring. There are many people in this era who do not find that to be funny, in the slightest. I hope one day you are able to meet your maker and served to the court of justice for every single crime you committed with a firearm because you remind me of how stupid your brother was when it came to such." She just laughed

Youngest Sister: Susan (AKA Susie/Suzy) Marie Nichols (Married Last Name: Lopez) married to Jose Lopez (who had illegally immigrated to Texas as Susie told me)(was the first DWI/DUI pulled over after a Fort Worth Police Officer was hit by a drunk driver and ran around 2008 or 2009 shortly after being released from jail I think county) with his brother Mondo Lopez and their mom (mother I think was a legal immigrant from what I was told) : Eldest daughter Brieanna Marie Lopez (last known had 2 children from 2 separate individuals though could be up to 3 or 5 at this point), Middle daughter Marissa Marie Lopez (I believe she was born as either a bi-sexual or a lesbian of which I was the only one who did not care what her sexual preferences were I just did not comprehend the treatment the family had done to her), Youngest son: Joseph Anthony Lopez (considered the favorite because of being the only male and carrying on the last name of Lopez), [and though I thought it would be funny if Susie ended up having twins or triplets as I warned her to get a Tubal Ligation when she told me she was getting involved with other male partners she did not want to listen to my suggestions and refused to get herself onto the birth control pill or shot as she told me "What ever could go wrong?" when I asked her whether or not she would use a condom and she said "No" mainly because of how much she boasted about the plastic surgery she had done but because of what she did to my tattoo shop at the time of what she wanted for a Christmas present I told her in my anger I hoped she did get knocked up with more than one child for not warning the tattoo artist of what he was tattooing over in the region and since I could not return to get a tattoo from that set of artists because of what she did to them I told her I hope with all of my might you get to lose the artwork which is so pretty compared to your soul and she laughed saying "Yeah, right" but if she did get knocked up and had more than one child I guess by technicalities that scar the tattoo artist had to tattoo over probably stretch along with the rest of her belly and he might feel a bit better about that as well], [the tattoo Susie had gotten done had been after my particular tattoo artist a former Navy SEAL went to Massachusetts after completing my ocean tattoo after telling him about landing at the bottom of the ocean of which he had already completed several tattoo pieces for me including Methuselah my snake tattoo]; Susie had been the one to initiate the Home Depot /Lowes idea of buying known stolen merchandise to return to the store for store credit and while there had been one male I was engaged to at the time of which had been convinced to do so at that time neither him nor I knew of the entirety and just thought we were being asked because of the rule Home Depot/Lowes has of a limited return number policy and only after learning the reason why never did again no matter how many times Susie tried to get me to do so afterwards; Brieanna had been given a "clothes tag piercing gun" which Susie either purchased online or stole from a Ross or other store store to use whichever location they went to in order to purchase clothes at a lesser cost without problems by taking the clothes to the dressing rooms to switch out the tags outside of camera views and similar in regards to other stores as to the Home Depot/Lowes returns for store credits; Susie admitted before she had declared Bankruptcy with the IRS that she had used her children's social security numbers and information to steal their identity to get various credit cards/living arrangements/power sources turned on/etcetera beginning with her eldest daughter Brieanna and then moving along when the credit was so destroyed there was nothing more Susie could drain from such credit and since Mary Evongelina Nichols O'Steen already had hypothetically presumably stolen my military identification card and since I found out about my identity being stolen in May 2013 but had started less than one month after their brother died in February 2008 I can only guesstimate those two had to do with my identity theft as well as Mary Evongelina Nichols O'Steen having hypothetically cut and sliced my BCD for SCUBA Diving when in Georgia as I caught her near my gear but did not keep my regulator in the bag and if she thought that a BCD is for keeping a SCUBA Diver afloat thankfully she didn't know anything about SCUBA Diving nor what to actually look for to cause death if she had actually been successful when supposed to go to the Georgetown Aquarium the following day after Mary and I had spoken with Susie on the phone when I was in Georgia with my children and my niece. Also Susie Marie Lopez had been involved with wanting Plastic Surgery and instead of going to a graduated licensed professional, she argued about the price with a Plastic Surgeon from a Plastic Surgery School. In the end of all the surgeries that particular school and doctor had completed after she argued with the Plastic Surgery School about the prices as well as had taken money away from her three children at the time to pay for such; she ended looking up like Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas with all of the ways the scarring had healed; also because of her choice to pick at the different incisions and pull out the stitches before the healing had fully occurred. Instead of letting the stitches heal on their own, she worsened the problems for herself through her choices to pull and tug at the stitches and thus instead of her scars healing fairly normally; she looked worse (in my opinion as well as others' opinions) than a more stitched up version of Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas. The funniest part was during my Housewarming Party for my house in Carrollton Texas, she ran up to my biological father and said "I bet you don't recognize me, or know who I am." He looked her up and down a few times and said "Yeah, I know who you are. You're still not impressive, and you never will be."

Robert Walker Nichols: born 19 March 1976 died 28 or 22 January 2008: buried in Dallas/Fort Worth National Cemetery: met in Medical Hold Unit in 2000, married on 21 December 2000 after the 'proposal' with a firearm to my head and I had to go to a pawn shop to find all 3 rings for the allowance of $150.00 which I later replaced the engagement ring with one I found on eBay a white gold setting with black teardrop diamond with two side diamonds on each side in 2004 when I was 'allowed' to pick a different ring, separated first time in 2004 and final separation in 2006 before what was claimed as him being called back on IRR (Individual Ready Reserve) to The United States of America's Armed Forces Army Branch of which if he was pulled back on IRR he would never have asked me where I wanted him to be stationed nor would he have given me options of where he could be stationed nor would he have said he could have gone to OCS school instead nor would he have said he could pick which location overseas or on the border nor would he have said after beginning training at Camp Bullis "I quit the Army" nor would he have done or said a lot of things if he was truly called back on IRR; yelled at me after his graduation ceremony for saluting The American Flag and the troops of the Brigade Unit during The National Anthem and carried on whining at Bennigans the whole time in the restaraunt of "how embarrassing it was to have [me] saluting when not in a uniform" in front of my children and the male Robert forced me to be involved with "Cactus Jack" AKA Jeffrey Kuykendall Jr against my will (the conversation in the garage of which going over every single detail possible before showing the Dress Blues later on in a different conversation are just 2 examples and not forgetting when showing the Dress Blues and breaking the only birthday gifts he had ever gotten me of which the awesomely amazing guys from Atlantis Discovered on Huebner and Bandera in 410 [go check out their store as those guys always have had such beautiful items and they are as sweet as sweet can be] were the ones who picked out what to give me because they knew me better than he ever did) just before the final separation; the few abuses of which I wrote about and spoke of are minimal in comparison to the reality of which I had survived including but not limited to: after each of my children's deliveries after 7 days of labor for both my son and my daughter among other times - knocking me unconscious and leaving me in the backyard for hours to then return to wake me by sitting on my chest to wake me up - after two days after delivering my daughter once back at the house on Heritage Place Drive wanting me to take care of the lawn work/trimming the hedges/weed-eating while he drank a beer watching - wanting to go to Natural Bridge Caverns in New Braunfels when I was 7 months pregnant with my son and then again with my daughter's pregnancy (both of which were born in the month of September in the state of Texas so look at the heat indexes and honestly tell me whether one considers that as endangerment or not) - I cannot count the amount of times I awoke to a firearm barrel in my forehead or a knife to my throat though enough times I actually remembering it occurring more than once which I guesstimate if one considers how long it took me to get the gun safes squared away one could guess how many times that occurred with his finger on the trigger which would be how the force for the 'relationship' with "Cactus Jack" AKA Jeffrey Kuykendall Jr was established just so you know and is clarified - the "conversations" in regards to his sister Susie's involvement at the McDonalds in Forest Hill/his choice to leave the Glock 45 on the roof of the White Dodge Grand Caravan in Georgetown at that Walmart gas station and what it took for me to get him to call the Georgetown Police Officers and repercussions thereof for those "conversations" - the "conversations' in regards to my refusal to declare bankruptcy along with his sister Susie/his mom Grandma Nichols/his dad Grandpa Nichols - the "conversations" during the first separation which I had to choose between keeping the house with my children in a "permanent" way or being able to see my children grow up by getting an apartment - the "conversation" after my friend Kenny had called and what I had to deal with in regards to explaining he was truly a friend and not what Robert thought he was - the "conversation"anytime anyone ever looked at me in a way Robert disapproved - the "conversations" in regards to my spirituality and religious aspects - the "conversation" after I told him about speaking with either a Jehoviah's Witness or a Mormon Elder and the fact Robert was mad at me for being respectful while defending my particular views of religion as well as spirituality - and the list can go on for miles of paperwork if I were to type each individual situation out I can recall in full; when he returned to being in The United States of America's Armed Forces Army Branch Robert had tried to impress me when showing me the "meat tags" he had gotten tattooed into his flesh of his information as well as 3 other soldiers' or people's information and I told him how he "was putting every single soldier all across the board of The United States of America's Armed Forces at risk with doing so and you need to get that blacked out to keep everyone safe because of the ramifications which could occur if you are ever captured by the enemy" and he said "No, you don't know what you're talking about" as I explained and dealt with another "conversation" to explain "No, you don't know what you're talking about. If the enemy gets a hold of you they will skin you and remove each one of those meat tags and send one at a time to the government of The United States of America to taunt the CIA of which then they will have to deploy special agents as well as private security to go and research where those individuals are and would not think to look into records before sending guys overseas to look for the specialties thereof and also at the same time would have to contact various treatied partners to ensure the sanctions of the rules of engagement were followed. You don't know how many soldiers you are putting at risk as well as civilians for such a stupid thing you can fix before going and that doesn't include if your own soldiers see that in your Unit because any of those guys will see that as a threat to their security and I will not blame them one bit if they take measures into their own hands because of their comprehension of which they will have to deal with if you go out into the field over there, and every single individual thread which would be taken into account for every other soldier's safety. You need to black that out because if you don't what I warned you of when you told me you were called on IRR will take effect and guarantee you will not return the way you leave" He laughed at me and said "What would you know, you weren't allowed to be in combat arms" and I said "It doesn't take a head injury to figure out in this day and age and in this type of modern warfare of which what will occur and though I have not been engaged in battle of sorts, I don't need to in order to know and comprehend the risks you are putting the entire military into for your stupidity. If you survive and if you get captured the amount of people you would individually affect are not limited to those which I have listed, but you don't care do you?" Robert asked "You want me back, don't you? You really do love me, don't you?" I got in his face and said "No, I don't give two sh**s or a f*** about you, but I do care about everyone else you stupidly are putting at risk and I don't care who hears me; if that means those people are kept safe. F*** your ego, you pathetic waste of flesh!" of which his sister Susie watched the whole "conversation" and laughed at the repercussions after I said that last statement to her brother - he did not last overseas and though he attempted to say "We're twins because we both had a TBI" I very much informed him "No, we are not twins because you had what happen to you over there and I had what happened to me during Basic Training on Psalm Sunday in 2000. Mine happened because of what reality I spoke of to the Drill Sergeant whereas yours happened because of the truth I spoke before you left. There is no comparison between the two of us, with the exception you think we are twins because you are faking what you saw me go through all of the past few years" which he did not deny once - though the news article by the San Antonio Express News of which his sister Susie wanted notariety for her care and concern she did not ever make any comments in regards to his injury or medication and only took advantage of the fact the news people contacted her thinking she could become famous for her name being in the papers of which later when she saw the article exclaimed "I'm famous in San Antonio!"; in regards to Robert's death the Nichols family was informed by the Chief Warrant Officer 3 of the fact Robert had falsely awarded himself various medals and ribbons on his Dress Blues from the picture taken at a JCPenny Portrait Studio in San Antonio Texas and while I obviously had no idea he would be stupid enough to steal valour at the same time the fact he tattooed meat tags into his flesh made it clear to me as well as the aspects of his claim in regards to IRR before he actually signed the paperwork had been what was able to allow me to see clearly in regards to such and though some could consider in his family of which I was being bitter the reality is Robert got yelled at on Halloween in front of one of my neighbors at the time about the ribbons and medals being wrong on his uniform well before going to Fort Worth for the funeral and the Chief Warrant Officer 3 dicussing with me the reality of such and as I warned his family of my intent after I returned the Bronze Star to The United States of America's Army in specific the Colonel of the Brigade Unit in Iraq and the two soldiers with him (and yes that situation did occur as I wrote about such in the Major General's office at Brooke Army Medical Center then - now San Antonio Medical Center) the family was told "Do not use the Bronze Star Robert was falsely awarded for a single thing because if you do there will be a day, which justice occurs for such." In specific I told Susie "If you pull the garbage you pulled with the bankruptcy unlike the companies you took credit out of, The United States of America's Armed Forces Branches and Divisions will not be nearly as forgiving to you or anyone else in your family which uses such." but she lauhed saying "Who would ever know?" and I said "Anyone who knows what medals and ribbons go where, as well as how to research the reality of." Susie said "Who is going to believe you, over me? I look more normal than you do" and I said "Because I am the Executrix and the Major General will state the truth to such, so will the Cololnel, so will his two soldiers, and so will anyone I have already told thus far and will tell. You might think no one will believe me just because I look as I do, but those males know the truth just as I do and just as you have been warned. Do not, f*** with my military mother f*****s as they earned that valour and your dead brother did not" of which she laughed "What if I joke about you giving back the Bronze Star?" and I said "You mean tell the truth?"

This ends the portion in regards to my dead-ex-husband's family of which I know and their malfeasances.***


Though not in relation to anyone I ever dated there had been a car crash in which a male drove into the back fence of my property at 6154 Heritage Place Drive in San Antonio Texas who drove a Datsun pickup truck who attempted to flee the scene but because I was already in the backyard after having put my children to bed for a nap and I was on my way to the shed where he drove into but stopped because of Nick the Miniature Schnauzer barking at me and I turned back to get him to stop barking when the Datsun truck jumped the 6 inch curb, obliterated all of the 8 foot sections of fence line, destroyed all of my potted fruit trees and vegetable garden area, to then drive into the metal shed and turned it into a "c" shape; I walked calmly over to the truck and tapped on the window to alert the male driver to "get the f*** out of your vehicle, now" as he had already put the gears into reverse but because I had just finished watering that area the mud would not allow him to get the truck to leave the yard. He slowly got out of his truck with dialated pupils and I ordered him to sit at the patio table, of which after I called 9-1-1 for emergency services I allowed him to call his girlfriend, of which he was upset she did not answer her phone. Though I also called my then husband now dead-ex-husband at work as well as the 9-1-1 several times over the 4 hour time frame afterwards, the male continued to sober up before the police officer arrived on the scene looking "for the prowler" on the property. The male tried to make a joke and when he did I partially joked back in response "Just think of how much luckier you are because I put my children in their rooms for a nap instead of if you drove into my yard if they were still playing in the backyard, you think its funny to joke about this situation and you truly are not capable of comprehending how much I am being nice right at this moment in time. I promise you if you had done so and my children were in the backyard and you tried the same bulls*** of trying to leave the scene of the crime you committed when you drove your truck into my yard and tried to flee; I promise you no one would have found a single bit of your remains. You see how I have done my garden?" He nodded and I said "Grass always grows greener, where blood has fallen. Be glad my children were upstairs and not in harms way, otherwise they would have seen my wrath upon you if not." He laughed "That's a funny joke" and I smiled "If you think it is a joke remember if I tell a joke, there might be a bit more truth to the joke than you realize." He laughed and said "Yeah, whatever." and I said "I have devoured many souls before you ever drove that truck into my yard, do not think for one second I cannot devour yours and allow you to live; I warn you though as such could be quite a sad existence if such a choice is made by you." When the Police Officer arrived he initially went after who had just arrived just before the Police Officer arrived my now dead-ex-husband then husband and Robert was questioned as to being the prowler; but the clarification occurred. The following day when I was assessing the damages from the Datsun truck which I had made the ground dry up enough for his truck to get out of my property at that point (one could joke a small resemblance

to the character Poison Ivy when in regards to my garden area and what I made my ground do to ensure such for the time the Police arrived since the male refused to give me his insurance information until after the Police arrived as after the Police Officer's assessment I had made a comment quietly and almost magickally the mud that once was around his tire well had magickally fell back to the ground and the dirt magickally hypothetically pushed the tires upward); however the issues I discussed with Channel 7 or 12 News station in reference to the Fred Loya Insurance company and how their employee entered the backyard to do an insurance quote as well as his suggestion for me to take a hammer to undo the damages to my shed were and are accurate; as well as what I said in the Fred Loya Insurance Office on 410 in regards to "The insured is playing the game of Poker with you as you are considered as the house and the house is bettering the insured will not get into an accident whereas the insured is betting he or she will get into a car accident and your insured did get into a car accident; which mean the house lost and you have to pay the damages. I do not care about the fact you cannot get a hold of him as I am seeing people come into my backyard at night because of the open fence and you are responsible for the damages he did, so you need to fix my property. If you do not like the prices I found online to replace the shed then give me a suggestion to a location I can go through your company, and I will get the replacement there. Since you don't have such, the more than 21 different locations in the city of San Antonio have a round about same price and that is what is necessary including the fence your insured destroyed." Such had occurred after the President of the Homeowners Association walking over to where I stood assessing the damages to tell me "It looks like a car drove in here" and that whole conversation before that male told me later "If you don't cut down the shed 6 inches I am going to put a lien on your house, I'm a San Antonio Police Officer you know." of which I said "Though you may be a San Antonio Police Officer and thank you for your service to the city of San Antonio, but legally you stating such is not proper for in reference to being the President of the Homeowners Association." Later I had to go to Procomm the Homeowner Association office location on 1604 to get the letter of amendment for the variance for my shed.


My biological family moved from Crystal Lake Illinois to San Antonio Texas of which the claim had been to help me take care of my son and my daughter, however that was not the case obviously by their choices of actions; as I suspected my biological sister had smeared her reputation through her choices of not keeping her legs closed in high school, and the repercussions of such in a high school.

Biological Father: Michael Lee Hom: born 29 October 1951, grew up in foster care and orphanages in the 5 boroughs of New York as well as Elizabethtown New Jersey, Hoboken New Jersey, and Newark New Jersey in the late 1950s through to the end of the 1960s : went to and graduated from The School of Bulova, owned and operated his own jewelry business which he dilivered completed pieces of work to the various locations of businesses in the state of New Jersey, New York, as well as Pennsylvania though also to a few other east coast locations of The United States of America; a part of the Lee Association during that time as well as assisting to the Doong Association; told my biological mother which way she is/was supposed to put information into a newspaper if he passed away and if she did not the inheritance would only be given to me as per my Great Grandfather's orders (Bok Gung); said was a part of SCUBA Diving in the 1970s as well as trained for the skiing competitions as well as earned a Third Degree Black Belt in Tae Kwondo from a born in Korea who legally immigrated to The United States of America; one of two children his elder sister is Linda Lee and worked for The United State Post Office in New York City and married a fellow Post Office employee Phillip ?Wong? as they had a child together named Catherine

Biological Mother: Anna Louise Lally possibly changed later to Gavett though unlikely as well as one marriage and divorce prior to my biological father when in New Jersey born 20 or 21 March 1950: one of 6 total children from my Maternal Grandmother Lillian (Anna...middle name of Old World descent at one point she said she had traveled with who she told others was her father from Russia to escape what happened to the Tzar family and told me I could never tell anyone until after I was an adult because of the possibilities being unsafe until after I became an adult which she could not explain to me but when seeing her later and she asked about the move to Illinois she said she was "proud of [me] for the niceness and treatment to the movers for Mayflower when moving from New Jersey to Illinois and was happy to know [we] discussed Baba Yaga" of which she told me she named my biological mother Anna to help me later in my life for that aspect - of which when I joined The United States of America's Armed Forces Army Branch would prove such one way or the other as I had to give blood at the MEPS station in Chicago Illinois for DNA verification as well as any other time going to the doctors in San Antonio Texas for medical checkups) Lally Gavett who later graduated Seminary College after converting to Catholocism; Anna worked at Prudential in Holdmel New Jersey from the late 1970s or beginning of the 1980s through to just before moving to Illinois in 1998 before working for McHenry County Government Center in Woodstock Illinois to then move to San Antonio Texas working as a substitute teach for the districts in San Antonio as well as a paper reviewer for Scientific Medical Research as well as currently at H&R Block and in such I must note she had made it known to me she had to complete the updates to every single technology computer/laptop device I had and before I could ever stop her in the beginning she took the computer to do whatever update stuff with technology and continued with such until the last time I saw her and my biological father in person in January 2013 when they threatened me to make me date which they did not know I was dating someone already and was quite content with that relationship and seeing where it was going to go until I received the messages I had of which he had ended such; Anna's older brother Danny died in a lake accidentall drowning; Anna's siblings are Edith Gavett now Stanley and her two daughters from her first marriage Kate (Katherine) and Allie (Allison) now married (last known) to Mark Stanley and living in Crystal Lake Illinois; Christine Gavett (??Gallows?) (?new last name? to husband Brian) worked as an optometrist for Missouri State Prisons last known in Saint Louis); Leonard AKA Lenny Gavett married to Sharon (?prior last names? and had son named Christopher) of which Lenny was in Desert Storm in The United States of America's Air Force Branch and his ex-wife Yvonne and he had three children 2 daughters and one son named Esau which Lenny did parachute jumping and was an airplane mechanic; Neil Gavett (all I know is what I was told which he was a Warlock and also played Dungeons and Dragons as well as he had returned with a sword and he had at one point in time addicted to various drugs as my biological mother said); the way my biological mother played games in regards to my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury after effects was ridiculous and had been upset and would cry every time I caught her in a lie to get out of being caught in a lie, she denied my being my children's mom and showed people pictures I took of my children with my biological sister claiming she had been their mom instead of me; my biological mother as well as my biological sister were upset I showed up to my biological sister's wedding to watch over the ceremony and refused to allow me to be a part of the wedding photos because "of what a distraction you would be on the most important day of Patty's life" though my children were the Ring Bearer and the Flower Girl in her wedding to Zack and though they had a professional photographer they hired I had taken pictures as well and sent them to Patricia though she was mad at me for taking the pictures the way I had and my biological mother refused to inform me of either of Patricia's graduations for the same excuses she gave in reference to me not being allowed in the wedding pictures at her college; Anna graduated with her degrees from Rutgers University in New Jersey and claimed in the 1970s no one in the entire school that she knew had ever smoked pot of which she told me "you don't know about how things were in those days, no one ever anywhere I went smoked pot on campus" when I told her "You're full of s***, I guesstimate there are hundreds if not thousands of people who went to Rutgers University who could verify they smoked pot on campus, probably a handful of Professors too"; my biological mother went with my biological sister and took the house keys knowing he and I were going to go to the store and then I would drop him off at their house of which later in the summer afternoon in 2005 when I called the house and he did not answer I rushed over to the house and found him in the backyard and had to carry him over the fence because of the locks and then carry him to the White Dodge Grand Caravan to take him to the house on Heritage Place Drive to heal him from what had occurred and when they returned to my house my biological mother was pissed off to find out I had picked up my biological father and took him to my house to heal him instead of leaving him on the back patio; also in 2010 Christmas time I had written a check for $10,000.00 for my biological parents to get a new HVAC system because of my biological father's Diabetes to ensure his safety after their AC unit started going on the fritz and my biological mother complained about me giving them a check for the HVAC system whereas my biological dad said "Don't hit a gift horse in the mouth that can replace the entire system and get a better system for cooler air in the house quicker" whereas my biological mother complained about "I have to pay taxes twice on this because I'll have to pay taxes to the IRS and then I'll have to pay taxes when getting the new unit

Biological Sister: Patricia Ann Hom born 7 October 1986 (?married last name? to a male named Zack a Police Officer in San Marcos Texas and family in Austin Texas): the story in reference to the school project at McHenry High School is truthful as I would guesstimate the male's family specifically the mom would be able to verify our conversation about such as we spoke for several hours on the phone, while also is true of the male friend with the what I called "a skunk stripe" in his hair as he had a piece bleached out of the rest of his black hair friend of Patricia's who pointed a hairspray can to light the spray on fire towards my house and in specific my son's room was also written in truth as that boy claimed "my dad is a Sheriff and you can't tell me what to do on your property to your house with your stuff! I'm going to tell my dad on you for defending your house from me lighting a can of hairspray on fire on your property and aiming the flames at your house and then you" and when I told him after pushing the flames he shot at me to the side again "Go ahead and tell your daddy and I guesstimate he will tell you I have every right to defend my house and my property and my children as you pointed the flames towards, if he doesn't rightfully disown you for being so recklessly stupid to try to use a rank of which you did not earn to enforce your bullsh*** excuses as to why you think you can come onto my property to light a fire against my will to point at my house and point in the direction of my son's room before your pointed the flames to go to me to try to burn my skin on my property. I am sure he will not be happy with your stupidity on my property, especially in the state of Texas" when that male stood up to then get into my face after I warned him to stop and Patricia defended his actions to then point the hairspray can towards my neighbor's houses I went upstairs and opened the Gamma II gun safe to remove the Baby Desert Eagle and calmly walked down the stairs as he was still lighting the hairspray on fire and after walking outside to point at his head ordering him to stop which he finally did and put down the hairspray can and lighter to finally leave my property Patricia was mad at me "for embarrassing [her] for defending [my] property and [my] children" (her nephew and niece) while protecting the rest of the neighborhood from the winds that were at an elevated level which would have easily allowed the flames to jump to each of the houses in that area of the neighborhood in the cold-e-sac as well as the side street ironically all the way down and passed the President of the Homeowner's Association's house to the empty field as well as hypothetically to across the street for that portion of the Pheasant Creek subdivision later in September or October of 2003; because Patricia told me her husband Zack did not get issued kevlar vests nor proper firearms while in the Police Academy I wrote a check for her to give to him for $4,000.00 to get everything he needed to keep him safe while giving her the assurance he would be safe of which my biological mother was mad because I did not give her a smaller check to not have to pay taxes the way Patricia's check had been; I got into trouble with Patricia for a time I was asked in Austin Texas if someone knew both of us from San Marcos University and telling that male the truth because of her embarrassment of me and they way I look as well as being involved with the BDSM/Singer/LGBTQP Lifestyles which lead to me not being allowed to attend her Master's degree graduation according to our biological mother; before Patricia's wedding to Zack my biological parents told her to go to my house in Carrollton to pick up an outfit for the wedding night and when I showed her one outfit I thought her soon-to-be-husband might like to see on her (as well as take off of her) she ran out of my house because of what I had shown her "being too slutty" which later on I used for a photo-shoot which I will put the picture of below (which was part of a few different lots I purchased off of eBay which in comparison to what was in each of those individual lots the outfit was EXTREMELY tame as some items made Frederick's of Hollywood stuff look like Victoria's Secret stuff as I guesstimate people from eBay would very much know if they were to look over that purchase history...or the NSA...or PayPal...) and after her having had that threesome in our biological parent's bed in San Antonio Texas truly I still do not comprehend 1) how I was blamed for the threesome occurring and legitimately being believed by my biological parents from my biological sister and 2). comparatively to said threesome in our biological parent's bed in San Antonio - how could any complaints truthfully be made? Maybe it was the shiny chains that scared her, or maybe the color pink, or maybe the fact there was more clothing coverage than the lack thereof? though yes, the conversation in the backyard of my house in San Antonio Texas with the sit-down did occur which discussed the points of why my biological parents and biological sister blamed me for making my biological sister "feel lonely" because I gave my then husband a hug and a kiss on the cheek- I was actually blamed for in regards to my biological sister having a threesome in our biological parent's bed though also as to one of the excuses as to why I was blamed for my biological sister to have assisted my then husband to cheat on me with her as well though the first time had occurred in Illinois during the first visit after my son was born which Robert confessed to a few weeks before his death at Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio Texas in the Warrior Transition Unit (of which I was in a different part of San Antonio and had not seen him in two days); during one conversation Patricia and I had in a parking lot before going inside of a Starbucks to talk she complained about soldiers from the various branches of The United States of America's Armed Forces getting forensic psychology jobs before she did even though she "had a college degree" which I explained to her "Those soldiers have college degrees as well but they also have something you don't have which is in the field experience and with situations of which your pictures on the pages of your college textbooks cannot come close to what they have had to encounter and if you think a Police Force is going to want someone they have to coddle through those steps while those guys from the military have had to get their stomachs stronger quicker than the Police Officers have time to hold your hand, you must be out of your cotton picking mind. You have no clue what those males and females see and smell on a daily basis and the Police Forces don't have the time to train you to strengthen your stomach or gut, so you don't contaminate a scene because you loose your cookies, so if you're looking for sympathy from me because no Police Force wants to hire you as a civilian only with college credits and no actual experience; you are speaking with the wrong person. You will do better whining to our parents for sympathy, than you ever will me." She asked me "Why do you have to be, so cold?" and I said "I am not being cold, I am being realistic; but if I am being cold, I'll give you a warning ahead of time to make sure you don't have your little feelings hurt." Also during the Presidential Election of 2008 just before people went to the voting booths my biological family had an early Thanksgiving Dinner together of which my biological sister asked me "Aren't you excited to vote for Obama?" and as I looked up at her across the table she said "Well, aren't you?" I said "I am not voting for who I know, is going to become the next President of the United States of America." She said "What? Why? Look at you, you have to vote for Obama." I said "No, I have to vote for who I think will be the best for that job. I do not believe Obama is ready, for the stress that comes with that job." She asked "Why? How can you say that when you look, as you do? How can you say that, with your hair like that? How can you say that, when your skin has all of those tattoos? You have to vote, for the first black President." I said "I have to vote for who I think will be able to handle the job of being The Commander in Chief, who will be able to work with the military of The United States of America, who will ensure the safety of the Law Enforcement communities, and who will work together with Congress and Senate; and who will not be afraid to speak his mind but will also not be upset when others do so. Militayry and Law Enforcement have a different personality of which they are blunt and to the point and I feel Obama might not be used to something like that, and might have a bit of a culture shock."

Patricia said "No, he'll be fine." I said "You think so, but he has no military background. If he had gone to a military academy I could see where he could be okay, but even then there might be some abruptness which might be difficult. Senator McCain has been in the military and survived much more than you know. Though he has Sarah Palin which I do not agree with her being his running mate because I know they are only using her for the female vote, and I don't think she was ready for what could be and could have been said about her already; but I think one day she could be one hell of a Vice President of the United States. That just has to occur, with the correct President of the United States. Maybe by then, she will be used to certain aspects; but right now I am unsure, that was the best choice for McCain. I think he should've chosen another female who had more background or a male, and be truer to his character rather than what occurred." Patricia slammed her hands on the table "You, and your military support! What's wrong with you, how could you support such?" I said "Easily, I just do. You have no clue what those guys do, for f***'s sake Patty. Your husband is law enforcement, and he has quite a bit you will never comprehend without being in the line of duty yourself." She started waving her arms around in a tantrum and as I continued to calmly cut my food as my children's food had already been taken care of I said "Patty, maybe one day..." she interrupted me "Maybe one day, what?!" My eyes raised to look at her as our biological father said "Enough, this is Thanksgiving. Eat." Patricia made faces at me across the table as her husband Zack just shoveled food into his mouth not saying a word and I whispered if he heard it "I know, I know. If wifey's happy, lifey's happy; right?" I thought I heard him cough a little bit, but then again I also was paying attention to my son and my daughter to ensure they had enough. Though Patricia would not stop fuming and ended up leaving the Thanksgiving dinner early because she "could not handle being around someone who would dare not to vote for the first balck President of the United States of America" and when she said such I said "You know Patty, you sound pretty damn racist to only vote for Obama because he apparently is black. No offense to him or anyone else who is black, but what does that have to do with the price of tea in China? Absolutely nothing, is the answer. If you want to vote for Obama because he is black but not listen to his platform ideas, then you can accept being labeled as a racist in my book. I am one who prefers to listen to the importance and the points whereas the skin color means nothing to who the person is, or what the person stands for. What matters is what is truly going to benefit the people of the United States of America, and if you think only because of his skin color that means the rest of the United States of America will be fixed with whatever little garbage you think; the real world will wake you up one day." She said "Susan, you don't know anything because you don't have a degree. If you had gone to college and earned a degree, maybe you'd be smart enough." I asked "Does my SCUBA I'm looking into, not count to you?" She said "Why would it? You only are able to be a SCUBA Diver, how hard can that be?" I said "I don't know, but from what I have researched this far, its a lot." Patty said "You just put on a Halloween costume, and go for a swim." I said "No, you don't comprehend what I have read this far. What I have read, there is a lot more to that than what you think." She said "SCUBA, snorkeling, its all the same." I said "I don't think it is" as our biological father said "SCUBA, is not anywhere close to snorkeling. Don't ever be so stupid, again. I sent you to college, be smarter than that." I said "oooo! He told, you!" He said "Susan, don't you start." I asked "Start, what? Technically, she started the conversation. I'm just finishing it." We did not have but one more Thanksgiving dinner together in 2009 of which I was asked only a few questions about SCUBA and Patricia said snarkily "How was snorkeling?" My eyes rolled as our biological father said "Snorkeling and SCUBA, are two completely different things. I SCUBA dived, so get it right." Then I told them about The last SCUBA Dive which had been for my Cavern training, when I was asked about my SCUBA trip before then and I explained what I could about The USS/USNS Vandenberg. After that, the dinner was quieter than normal from Patricia's husband.

Two pictures of the outfits she could have worn on her wedding night, but instead I'm wearing it in the modeling photos instead. Though obviously not my biological sister as she was a Prima Ballerina who had been the Fairy Princess in Swan Lake as she told me, but maybe her now husband Zack would have preferred this outfit instead of whatever long gown she wore at their honeymoon.:


Thomas Marsden: former ROTC but kicked out of UTSA ROTC because of his multiple attempts of suicide: his mom lived with her dad a retired Air Force veteran of which rank I do not remember: during the first separation Thomas Marsden and I dated but I quickly ended the relationship because of how much he whined worse than a female at times and though he introduced me to Master Charles of the San Antonio BDSM community (I only write such a name because of the commonality of the term Master and the name Charles though while he knows who he is at the same time only because of the commonness of the names individually do I write such), though I had not remembered other aspects of involvement with such from being in New Jersey growing up before my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury when my biological parents told me to go play outside when in various locations. This particular male had been the individual who claimed "I will never allow any girlfriend of mine to wear a corset" when I was speaking with the females of The Jade Wolf Coven at my apartment on USAA Boulevard in San Antonio of which when the females rushed outside to the patio when they saw my infuriation I looked at Thomas and said "I don't think you will have to worry about that, if you think you're going to try to tell me what I can or cannot wear." After he and I watched "The Last Samurai" and the part where Tom Cruise bowed to the Emperor is when he started crying like a whiny little baby saying "That's so beautiful"; less than half a week later that relationship was over which was only just shy of one week from the time he said the comment about the corsetry but just before he yelled at my children when they were at the apartment. I told him "Get the f*** out and never return, you piece of s***"." He returned to my apartment two weeks later begging me for a place to stay and when I told him "No" he told me "I will get Master Charles to take me in and he will care about me in ways, you never did. I can get him to do whatever I want because he cares more about me than you, or my mom, or my grandpa." I said "Okay, bye." Thomas Marsden (RavenMarsden or Raven_Marsden online at that time) of which he left in a temper tantrum and at the door after swinging it open he asked "Aren't you going to stop me, from leaving you forever?" I rolled my eyes and said "No, get the f*** out boy." Thomas said "I'm going to send my patron after you!" and I said "Kali Ma will enjoy devouring Set's remnants"

Just to be ornery here is a picture of me not as his girlfriend obviously tying up my own corset, and a few different pictures of me in a few different corsets I owned.


The Excalibur Renaissance Faire in Smithville Texas in Bastrop County the last year it was called Excalibur: A female named Dawn who worked at the JP Morgan Chase Bank location off of I90 and 410 had invited me to join her, her friend Christy, and Christy's brother John to my first and last Renaissance Faire since. I was told what I needed to pack, we took my Ford Windstar van to the faire though Dawn kept my keys from me after we arrived because she "knew how to keep the keys safe at the faire", and told me "Just be yourself". When I had put on my clothes I purchased from the internet of which I pill post a picture of me in them below this portion from when I wore the outfit to Pagan Pride Day in San Antonio before going to the Faire, Dawn said I had to pick a name for while there at the faire. I chose Lady MeeLing as I finished getting ready and when she saw my clothes she said "When John, Christy, and I are with our friends, you have to go because we can't be seen with Nobility at this faire." I asked "What am I supposed to do?" and she said "Go look around, and just be yourself." After we went into the faire and everyone I was with went to their Pirate group, I walked around. First I found a store amongst the many at the faire which had different Faery and Dragon wings of which I wanted each and every one the store owner had made, because of how amazingly beautiful they were; and I told her so. I picked out a pair of wings which I will post the picture of me with my son and me with my daughter as well to show her work in the details of the Faery wings, because I truly adored them. I chose the red, white, blue wings because I could wear them with that outfit as well as plenty of others; if I had the chance. After paying for the wings and getting them on, I went to walk around some more. When I walked passed the lute playing Baird and into the area between the two tents one with turkey legs and the other with Meade, I was ina small grove of trees. Out of the trees five males dressed in ragged clothing and their faces and bodies painted in red and blue paint surrounded me of which I put my fists up ready to go. The one male with a sword unsheathed in his hands and over his head said "Where's the wing sauce?" when another one who had daggers in his hands unsheathed of those said "Me thinks we have some ketchup" and another said with a mace in each hand said "Fire up the grill" and before the fourth and fifth could say anything with the weapons they had in their hands unsheathed I said "What the f*** do you think you are going to do to what? Me?" as one of the said "It's going to be a fulfilling night" I said "I'll fill you up, mother f****s! I'll fill you up, with my fists and the blood which will reign from your flesh when I am done with you! Get the f*** away from me!" The one behind me did not say a thing and backed away as the one in fron who started the problem stepped forward still with his sword ready to swing as he said "You little girl are going..." I interrupted "Don't you f*****g call me a little girl mother f*****! I am mother f*****g Lady MeeLing, and I will defend myself! Don't you think just because I am a Faery, I won't f*** you up in ways you can't comprehend!" One of the males seemed to realize I was not a part of the normal group which attended and he asked "Aren't you going to speak in Olde Engl8ish? It's part of..." and I said "Okay-eth, dumbasses-eth, if you-eth want to f***-eth with me, I will f***-eth you-eth up-eth! I will take-eth each-eth one of your-eth mother f*****g-eth weapons away from you, and slaughter you by your-eth owns blades! Is that mother f*****g enough Olde English for you, huh?" That male put down his maces and said "Oh, I don't think she is a part of the games you..." as the one with the sword said "I don't care, I want some Faery wings!" and I said "I just f*****g bought these pairs of wings and I will f*** you up if you think for one second, I would let you have them. I'll let you have something, alright! Just not what you think, nor what you want!" The other two males slowly started to put their weapons down to the ground as the one with the sword got closer to me and said "I..." and I stopped him saying "You best step the f*** off, don't you f*** with me! You don't know what I can do with your weapons, and you don't know my mother f****g training you stupid pieces of s***! I will f*** you up in ways 30 years from Sunday, now back the f*** off!" He took one more step forward as one of the other guys put his hand on that male's arm saying "I don't think she has done this before, we better stop. We don't want to get in trouble with the faire." I said "I will defend myself, don't you f****g think I won't!" The four other males continued to try to get the one male with the sword to back off and when he finally got out of my way, I said "Don't you ever come near me again! The results will not be pretty, nor in your favor!" After I walked past him with his sword tip on the ground he said "You couldn't do..." and I truned around saying "Don't f****g test me! I only have my Faery wings which you can see, don't make me get my f*****g Dragon wings out! You don't want to see the damage those points will get you, bitch! You don't f*****g know me, and I garaun-mother-f*****g-tee you are the type of person, who could never handle me as such; so stay the f*** away from me!" One of the males asked "Have you ever been to a ren faire before?" and I said "No, this is my first mother f*****g time!" I went along pissed off and trying to focus my energy of fury elsewhere from such and as I continued walking around the faire, I saw my friend Kim being picked on by some blonde female yelling at her about her corset. I stood in between the two and asked "What do you think you are doing, to my friend?" The female said "I'm a part of PETA, and she's offending me wearing that corset made of animal fur. She's a murderer!" I asked "You mean you're a part of People Eat Tasty Animals? Hey, me too!" and the female grew red in the face saying "No! Do you not know about People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals?" and I said "You mean the psychos who break into scientific areas to release animals who have never been in the wild to leave them to die, while claiming they are just for doing which behaviour and ironically; are actually the murderers whereas Kim has just picked up dead animals off the roadkill to make a corset so nothing goes to waste?" The blonde female continued whining and complaining and when my patience grew thin I asked "Does it take a head injury to figure out your shoes are made of suede, and thus you are a hypocrite?" and she said "No, suede does not come from an animal." of which I retorted "Yes, suede comes from a different part of the cow and is tanned in a different way for that portion of its hide. You should do your research before you go and attack someone who just didn't allow the roadkill to go to waste, whereas you actually paid for suede shoes." When the blonde female left Kim alone finally, Kim and I walked over to her booth at the faire and talked for a little while before I went walking around some more trying to find where the group was that I was a part of. Right when I found them some short male walked up to me with a taller male and asked if I was me before saying "Lady MeeLing, you are hereby under arrest for falsifying being a Faery" I looked down at him and said "What the f*** did you just accuse me of, mother f****r?" He stuttered as he repeated himself and I asked "Are you a real Sheriff? Or a real Police Officer?" He shook his head side to side signaling no and said "In here, that doesn't matter" and I said "I don't f****g think so because it matters to me. How dare you attempt to arrest me of all people, for falsifying any mother f****g thing. You are obviously clueless as to who the f*** I am, so don't you f*****g mess with me. I am not going to allow you, to falsely arrest me, for some bulls***." He said some other garbage as Dawn tried to convince me to "Just go along with it" and when I refused she said "Why aren't you being a good friend?" as I said "A good friend wouldn't stand by idleley and allow their friend to falsely be accused nor would a good friend allow someone they know to falsely be arrested." When John said "I could just get a picture and you don't have to be arrested" I put my wrists out and when the male went to put the shackles on me, I twisted my arms, grabbed the shackles, and ran, sprinting off as far as I could go to hide in one of the stores selling skirts to hide the shackles in between my skirt and the crinoline. When I was done hiding such I walked out to see the two males just turning the corner, and I stood waiting for them to run up to where I was. When they arrived out of breathe I looked at them and asked "Yes, what do you want?" The fake Sheriff said "You have to let me arrest you? and I said "I don't have to let you do a mother f*****g thing, to me." He said "But I'm the Sheriff of the Faire" which I interrupted and said "That is cute you think you're the Sheriff here, but no; you're not. You are the one who should be arrested for falsifying yourself as a law enforcement officer, because that is truly illegal." He said "It's just fun and games, here" and I said "I am not playing any f*****g games, mother f****r. Don't you think for one second I am going to allow anyone to falsely arrest me, especially not for falsifying being a Faery. You don't mother f*****g know." The other male tried to speak and I put up one finger saying "Don't you defend him, he's the one in trouble. Don't add to it!" That male asked "Aren't you scared of me? I'm bigger than you." I said "If you don't think I can handle myself and take you down just because you're taller than me, you are sadly mistaken. I know how to defend myself from the likes, of you." When they tried to speak again I asked "Who the f*** sent you out to try to falsely arrest me, anyway?" He said "Those records are sealed for the accuser to be anonymous" and I said "I have the mother f*****g right to be able to defned myself, against any dumba** accuser. I demand to know who lied to you, about me!" When they refused I said "When you release me from that garbage and I am no longer under a false arrest, I will return your shackles to you. Until then, you go think about who the f*** you think you're trying to arrest and what I will and will not accept. When you realize I am not only a Faery, but The Faery Queen; then you will release such bulls*** and not arrest me." The one male said "But those shackles are expensive, and I need to use them..." as I interrupted "I don't give a flying f*** about what the cost is, its more expensive for you to falsely accuse me of anything. You don't comprehend the damage you could do, for such. Back the f*** off." Towards the end of that day the males approached me and said they would no longer be pressing charges, and I gave them back the shackles saying "You never had the right to, to begin with." Dawn complained the rest of the day and night, but would not return my keys for me to leave. Later when the belly dancing commenced around the fire I had been told by Dawn "You need to drink something, you're sweating" and handed me a drink of what I was told "Loki" of which tasted like Powerade or Gatorade and then I continued dancing; later I learned that had alcohol in it which I did not drink alcohol at that time but when I had went to go to the bathroom port-a-potty I had been grabbed by some male before I returned to the tent and hid behind John as Dawn told me "Stop being a baby"; which again for the umpteenth time I demanded my keys to leave, but she would not give them to me any time I asked for them the entire night or day or night after that. The next day at the faire went smoothly but that night there were Police Officers who showed up and there were people being rude to them of which I told John "That's stupid to piss those guys off, they can shut down the entire faire; those are the real mother f*****g Police. They don't play games, like those little boys think they can." The next day we packed everything up, I was finally given my keys, and we drove back to San Antonio. In the van ride she complained about my head injury effects "dampening" her time and dun at the faire, which annoyed me a lot.

Picture of my outfit at the Excalibur Faire but at San Antonio Pagan Pride Day, though I was going to post a picture with the wings apparently there is an issue with technology.


The Jade Wolfe Coven: Jamie and Steve, Christy and Mike, Tina, and Sarah (later after I let the coven): Though I had began looking into joining a coven at the suggestion of my then husband, the result of my choice out of all the groups I found online was The Jade Wolfe Coven because of the aspects in regards to the symbolism. I met with Jamie (the owner of the coven) and Christy a member of the coven at a local area public place to talk and after we agreed I should only be a satellite until I felt comfortable being fully involved, the two arranged a meeting of the different people involved. While those females thought they had summoned thew Devil because the name spelled out was Damien, I explained "No, that's my childhood friend" and when they started making fun of me for having a friend named Damien there was a loud slap on the patio door from which Damien left his hand print on the freshly cleaned glass part as we found later on. To prove to them Damien was my childhood friend from New Jersey I took my hands off of the piece and asked questions only he would know the answer to as none of those females knew anything of him or our past, and they went along with it within the circle I created because they had no clue how to protect themselves from such energies. I asked "Damien, where did you and I meet?" The board spelled out "Sonja's back yard" When I told the female's "It is my friend!" The took their hands off of the piece and it moved to "Yes" I told them "Put your hands back on the piece, if you dare to not believe me." They each did even though I pointed out the piece moved to yes after they took their hands off and I said "You stupid little girl doubters," and before I could finish speaking the piece moved back to "Yes" I giggled as I felt Damien's hand run across my shoulders before asking another question only he could answer "Where did you pass away?" The piece spelled out "The hospital" and I told the females "You need to believe now, of you will suffer" and the piece moved to "Yes" Christy laughed and said "Yeah, okay. What a joke" and I said "Damien was extremely protective of me when we were growing up in New Jersey when we played, and even though he didn't tell people all of the time; I'm sure there are a few people who could vouch if they mentioned my name to speak of me he would say something along the lines of 'she's okay, just leave that one alone. "She's cooler than you know" and "give her a chance, she'll surprise you'" and "you'd be surprised she's not really a dork like you think" and "yeah she's a nerd, but a nice nerd who will blow your mind" of which the piece moved to "Yes" without anyone's hands on the piece and the females got scared and said "We need to end this now" as a set of wind chimes on the front porch of Jamie's house started jingling which the piece spelled out "Present" I told Damien a few things quietly and the piece spelled out the answers before I said "Bye, sweetie" and the piece moved to "Good-bye" without the females touching it. When I opened the circle and we went to the front porch, there was a chicken shaped wind chime on the front hanging and when I said "That's mine" Jamie said "No, it wasn't there before. It's my house, its mine" and I said "I won't fight you for it but if you don't give to me what Damien left for me, you will have issues." and Christy said "Yeah, okay. Who do you think you are?" and I said "You wish, you could know me." We went to the back and Jamie let out a blood curdling scream saying "Oh, my God! I cleaned that door!" and I said "Yep, that's Damien's hand. Just at the exact height he was before he passed away. Are you sure, you don't want me to have the wind chimes?" Both Christy and Jamie said "Nope" and I said "Okay, you're going to wish you could change the course of your fate." Later after Robert and Christy got along well and her husband Mike and I got along but in a different manner, the coven chose to discuss what I said when with them to my then which all of them knew at the time during the first separation of our marriage. Mike allowed me to stay on the couch at the house while getting an apartment lined up as Christy wanted to play with the Ouija board, and I told her "That is not a game" which she thought it would be fun after what happened at Jamie's house. What I wrote of and had described of the colors swirling in the house in my book "Finding the Silver Lining By: Susan MeeLing" is accurate as to what occurred, as well as the aspects of which each wanted me to protect their children from such in regards to Jamie and Mike, including the aspects of Christy telling my then first time separated from ex-husband of what I discussed, including also the gunshot wound he inflicted upon himself when I was at Jamie's house with the coven and my biological mother yelling at me. Also the aspects of the blister and that dead blood being used in the ritual Christy pushed for is another truth, but I cannot tell a lie; in which all points are true. In regards to the end of my involvement with the coven so too was around the time shortly after breaking up with Thomas Marsden and their defense of him as well as my now dead-ex-husband of which as I think back to those times, it surprises me not of their choices of both those males instead of me.

This is a picture they used on their website even though I was no longer a part of but claiming I was when I was not part of The Jade Wolf Coven and they did not have my permission to do so.



I had been in my apartment after ending the aspects involving the coven when on one evening I went out to the back patio to smoke a cigarette, of which I saw a black SUV pull abruptly into the parking lot in front of the office, but to the back part where the sidewalk was. I saw the back portion of what looked like an Escalade sized SUV bouncing and what sounded like a female muffled when screaming. I ran to my cordless house line phone to call 9-1-1 to inform them of which way I heard the female screaming being taken, as well as the opposite end of the office building fenced entrance she was taken through. I told the 9-1-1 operator female of each aspect I could as I grabbed my sword, to wait for the Police to show up just in case I needed to help. However by the time I finished the call with the female on the 9-1-1 phone call, I did not hear the female from the apartment complex anymore. I sat outside of the apartment with my sword trying to listen for her, but I could not hear her any more. A few weeks later the older females who lived in the apartments on the first floor told me of what occurred in the complex and I told them of my call to 9-1-1, of which I did not get contacted by any Police Officer; though I would have answered any of their questions honestly to help if I had been. All I could do was hope they were able to find who was responsible, and bring justice for them; though I did tell my neighbor in the neighborhood about the call as well as the way the call went with the female operator on the 9-1-1 phone call of which she then told me of what occurred to her as she had just received a notification and I told her I hoped she was able to remain safe no matter what.


Ayaz: Introduced to me through Dawn from the Renaissance Faire time of which I had forgotten about by then: I was invited to a birthday party for Ayaz at Mimi and Dina's by Lackland Air Force Base of which I was sat in the seat closest to the head of the table, which happened to be the one who was having the birthday. Though we were able to talk outside later after the bellydancer made her way around the tables and after the "Happy Birthday" song had been sung to who I then learned was the one with the birthday, I later went outside to smoke. He came outside with me and we talked for a brief amount of time before he said he was born to a mom who is a Hindu Catholic and his dad is a Muslim from Bahrain, but he went to a London Boarding School and was not allowed to go to Bahrain of which he did not tell me the reasons why. We discussed my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury and I jokingly asked "Did your parents send you to school to get your degree in Petroleum Engineering?" and he said "Oh, my God. How did you know?" I laughed and said "I was only joking, I didn't mean to offend you." He said "No, that's the truth. I did go to college to become a Petroleum Engineer" I jokingly asked "With your mom being a Hindu Catholic and your dad being a Muslim in Bahrain does that mean they're at war with one another, now?" and he said laughing "Oh, my God! How did you know?" I said "I was just kidding, but I truly hope they come to terms of peace and are able to put by gones to be by gones, quickly and easily. That type of bloodshed needs to stop, no one wins with things like that in this era anymore. It's best for everyone to learn how to get along truthfully as there is only one earth." He and I talked for a little while longer and later he asked me out on a date, which we went out a few times. Then later he told me he was going to visit his mom in India and asked me if I wanted to go with him and I told him, "I have too many important responsibilities here, plus I could not get on a plane and go to your mom or dad's country right now. If I did, I would be stoned before the plane landed." He asked "What do you mean?" I said "If I went overseas right now and if I was not stoned to death before the plane landed, the United States of America's govrnment would be mad at me for leaving the US soil and putting people at risk." He laughed and said "You can't be serious." I said "Look at me, my hair cut and my hair color alone will cause problems in those areas. Though I try my best to speak correctly, I would inevitably say the wrong thing completely by accident to the wrong person, and I would be in trouble. That doesn't take into account the fact I was in The United States of America's Armed Forces and that would be like pure gold to some individuals over there. I cannot risk not only my children's safety or my own, but all of those who would be contacted if I were to go overseas. I can't do that to the Armed Forces, I just can't. I'm sure it is beautiful over there, but even those countries do not need me to set foot on the soil over there. They don't need the additional problems, if something were to happen. I just can't do that, to everyone." He said "You're being silly, there's no problems." I said "You aren't paying attention to what's going on, I just can't. I would like to one day, but I cannot now. It's far too dangerous for everyone if I were to go over there." He asked "Are you serious?" I said "I am speaking the truth, if your family is told of my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury and my background, they will tell you I am completely accurate in my statements. They will tell you of the problems of me walking on the soil right now over there, would cause. I cannot tell a lie, I am quite serious as to what would occur if I was able to land over there. Not everyone would be mad at me, but there are enough who would at this moment. I can't do that to anyone, that's too much." He asked "What do you mean?" I said "Certain aspects of certain religions over there would look at the fact my head injury was on Psalm Sunday in 2000, and they would see certain points of which would make it dangerous for me. Certain other groups would see my hair and my hair cut, and they would think I was being disrespectful to their culture. Certain others would find out where I am from and the combination of, and be upset of how careless and reckless I would be if I were to go. That does not include all of the people from The United States of America which inevitably, would be affected, nor the countries which we have treaties with. I cannot put everyone at risk for me to set foot on forieng soil, until aspects calm down. It's not safe for my children, me, or all of the others involved. You think this world is all like the US, but it is not. I cannot go." Ayaz asked for a picture to take to his mom to do a tea leaf reading and the only picture I had which did not have my children in the picture, was just before entering the Army for the United States of America to give him. When he was in India he called me, and I spoke briefly with his mom who was surprised a few times. Later he told me his mom tried to marry him to a second or third cousin of his and his dad showed him a safe full of jewels, which angered Ayaz when he told me and I said "Those are your dad's, not yours." He said "But when he dies, they're mine" and I said "But right not those are your dad's, and that's how that goes." We broke up shortly after his return to the United States of America, and Dawn told me to calm down. Which what she did not comprehend is what I was worried about, though while he was gone was when the poker game occurred and though people say I won with a Royal Flush, I still technically won with a Queen and an Ave making two pairs in the Texas Hold Them poker game; which technically I did win with the two pair, despite the Royal Flush and yes, Tony upset me every time he said "dead baby seals" because while in certain regards I was upset at the thought of the animals, that was not what I was thinking of in my thoughts which had saddened me. I told Tony, "I don't want the baby seals to die; they're too good to." and he just chuckled "They're just animals" and I said "No, they're the special ones. They can't, they're too good to."


In regards to my ex-girlfriend Pam AKA "The Poet" who lived near Marbach and 410 with her former girlfriend Mary Beth Maypole: She was obsessed with a murder mystery about Patty Vaughan from LaVernia Texas of which I tried to tell her and convince her, to leave that case alone. Pam wanted our dates to be focused around that location and while LaVernia Texas is a pretty location, I felt though Pam was pushing people's buttons the wrong way there. My biological mother ironically enough despised my bi-sexuality/pan-sexuality and yet wanted to hang out with my then girlfriend and I when we went to the town of LaVernia. Another point when we were at her and Marybeth's house she showed me a picture of her next to some people and she asked me "What do you think of this picture?" I took the picture in my hands, looked over the people in the picture, dropped the picture and said "That is disgusting, why would you show me that?" She said "Its just a picture of me with some friends, at a party. Isn't that cool?" I said "Sure, the other people except that one male is okay. Take that picture away from me, now." She said "Don't you know who that is?" I said "No, and I don't want to know,. All I see is disgust and horror, get that away from me." She said "Take a look, its not that bad. It's just a picture of us at a party." I said "I don't care." She said "Its just my friends and I" and I said "That male is not someone to be friends with" She said "You're being over-dramatic, you don't know." I said "I don't need to to know, you want to go after JR and you're okay with that guy? How the f*** do you look at yourself in the mirror?" She said "What's the big deal, it is just Jeffrey Dahmer." I said "I don't care what the f*** his name is, that is evil incarnate." She said "Stop being a bay, he was a really nice guy." I said "Yeah, I'm sure he was nice to people until he got them alone, and then he probably wasn't nice at all. I am glad he died the way he did, that is horrific that you would be proud to be a friend of his." She said "Oh my, you know he's dead?" If he isn't he will be soon. That is detestable how you are proud, of that. I can't even, get that away from me." She put the picture away in her room and later said "How can you defend, JR?" and I said "He may not have the most perfect past, but he sure as hell isn't anywhere near that! How you can compare the two and try to have me to view JR in such a way, I cannot comprehend how you could believe he would be worse than that. Yeah, he's had some stuff and his family is what it is; but nothing in comparison to that person you just showed me a picture of. How dare you attempt to try to tell me you have to solve the Patty Vaughan case, and yet you won't help the Police about what they person did." I left shortly after, as I could not tolerate such. I needed to take a very long shower, when I returned to my apartment after that. At a point when Pam and I were speaking she told me "Wouldn't it be a good idea to get JR to pay attention to you, and want to be with you?" and I asked "Why? Why would you think it would be a good idea, to do that?" She said "Because you're cute, sweet, and innocent; he'll like that." I said "No, I am not what he typically looks for in a female. I am not the type of person which he is usually attracted to. He is into brunettes and blondes, and while he might like redheads; he likes longer hair. I can't have longer hair for him to run his fingers through, which is something he enjoys." She said "You're being silly, he'll make an adjustment, if he sees what you look like in his thoughts. You're the ideal." I said "No, Pam. You need to stop because you think he's guilty and he's not, you're not going to trap an innocent person. You need to look outside and check into other aspects, and realistically; you just need to leave this case alone. He is not from a family, you want to piss off. You don't comprehend what I am warning you of." Shortly after that discussion we went to a miniature donkey farm, and later when we were at Jim's on 410 and Marbach when her and Nikki's friend a at that time Air Force soldier for the United States of America's Armed Forces as well as a San Antonio Police Officer named Brian wanted to play a game and cuffed my hands without my permission; then blamed me for being upset because he cuffed me without any actual reason to and said "You need a psychological evaluation, for being such a baby about being handcuffed by a Police Officer in uniform." When I could finally calm down I told him "No, you need to comprehend that is illegal what you did and I may have my issues, but what you did was wrong. I never want to be arrested and you literally could because of your officer rank in the San Antonio Police force. That is something of which I never wanted to feel, nor ever want to feel ever again. I didn't do anything wrong, for you to place handcuffs on me. You should be ashamed of yourself, as that was wrong." Later by a few weeks he told the group his son's heart surgery with the stent which goes into the heart went well, but he was still mad at what would become his ex-wife had cheated on him and was divorcing him to be with another Air Force soldier of the United States of America. Later when Pam and I were talking at my house in San Antonio Hurricane Katrina had kicked up and she started crying about the animals on the roofs of people's houses when I asked "While the news is showing this, what about the people who are in the hospitals? What about the elderly in the nursing homes, who can't get out? What about the prisoner's and their guards, who are stuck until their duty can be assisted? Why do you care about the animals, when people's lives are at stake right now?" Pam said "It's President George Bush's fault." I rolled my eyes and said "Are you f*****g kidding me, where the f*** do you get the idea this is President George Bush's fault?" Pam said "Because he has a chemical compound he came up with that has a suicide mission for an Air Force pilot to fly into the center of the eye of the storm to open mechanical claws, to release dust into the air. That dust will get rid of all of the hurricane clouds, and if he were to just let that happen; then all of the people in Louisiana would be saved." I said "You psycho, get the r*** outta here. What?" She repeated herself and I said "Let me get your conspiracy theory straight, you believe President George W. Bush who has issues pronouncing certain words came up with a chemical compound of which he would need to be able to explain each scientific article of, to purposefully make a suicide mission where the Air Force pilot does not fly above and over the storm clouds but through the storm clouds, which by the way flying above and over the clouds would be easier and safer; but that's neither here nor there at this point. You're saying he's got some secret weapon to fly in a magic little capsule to have the magic fairy dust sprinkle onto the clouds which is so destructive that it eats through the metal of the airplane, but is somehow safe for all of the plants and people below the clouds? The ocean is safe from something like that, you have got to be kidding me! Get the f*** out of my house, and get out of my life. I don't ever want to see you again, we are over. That is ridiculous, I cannot tolerate this garbage from you anymore. We're over! We're done! We're through!" Later my biological mother told me Pam tried to stop by their house and get her of all people to "try to talk some sense" into me, to go back to her. There was no way that was going to happen, and no way it will. I never wanted to date another female after that combination and though I can have fun with some females the only way I could possibly date a female is in a triad, but even then I am skiddish of such. Besides the fact I do not enjoy the feeling of synthetic insertables, in the slightest; as I prefer the real thing after certain other aspects are (ahem) fulfilled and I am satisfied. (I just had to, I couldn't help myself but to lighten up the mood and tone of this just even for a little bit)


During the time between the reuniting of my now dead-ex-husband between the first separation and the final separation I had volunteered at Nine Lives Books on 410 near Callaghan of which at the time before volunteering on a more continuous basis, I had done some energetic clearing of the space as well as attended a few psychic fairs of which were mostly when I would speak with people because the others were far more well known in the city of San Antonio than I. While I was able to complete 2 healing sessions and one reading in the totality of all the times I attended, I was seen as more helpful for the volunteering with the online sales books. However during the last psychic fair I had been a part of was when Jamie Roblez an employee of Nine Lives Books had introduced me to "Cactus Jack" AKA Jeffrey Kuykendall Jr., of the "151 (titty-baby) Road Warriors"; of which I have already wrote about those aspects in a prior post. However when volunteering at Nine Lives Books there was a point when the cat sanctuary had a few different points of help, and then there was the time I was out with Daniel and I received a phone call when we were at Jim's on I10 and Huebner and speaking with the retired military guys in the smoking section. When the call came in the female Lisa asked "Susan, do you have a first aid kit?" and I said "Of course I have a first aid kit, why? Doesn't the store have one?" and she said "No, but could you bring the first aid kit to the store to help? Someone got scratched, by one of the cats." I said "Okay, Daniel and I will be over there soon." We finished up after I finished the cigarette I was smoking to pay, and leave. I drove back to Nine Lives Books and when walking in I saw a teenage boy and his girlfriend as I held my little first aid hit and said "What the f*** do you think this first aid kit is going to do for that amount of blood?" I ran up to the boy who was leaning against the counter and snapped my fingers in his face to get him to become alert to me and I asked "What happened" and he said "I was scratched by a cat" and I said "Yeah, no s*** Sherlock. What know what...never mind. Did you call your mom?" He said, "Yes, but she's probably asleep because of the other kids." I asked, "Did you call your dad?" He said "He's over seas right no, in the military" I asked "You're dad's military for the United States of America?" He nodded his head up and down signaling yes and I said "Let's go, get in the car. We're going to Fort Sam's Emergency Room and I'll do what I can in the mean time, to keep the bleeding from continuing out further." I looked at the girlfriend as she asked "Can I come too?" I said, "You will need to contact your parents to inform them" and she said "I'll call my dad, he'll be okay with me going" and I said "Let's get your boyfriend to the car, now. He doesn't have much time, and I can only do so much this way." I ordered her to put his arm over her shoulder and I took his other arm to get him to the van, put him in the front passenger seat, buckled him in, and opened the door for the girlfriend as I told her "Call your dad, now." I got to the passenger side to check the boy one more time and touching his stomach, before closing that door to get to the driver's seat. I started up the White Dodge Grand Caravan engine and took off to drive as fast as I could to BAMC while the girlfriend spoke with her dad and I tried getting answers out of the boyfriend to keep him awake when the girlfriend said "My dad wants to talk with you" and I asked "Why? I need to pay attention to the road" but she handed me the phone and I explained to her dad where we were going, and he confirmed he knew which entrance I was taking them to of which I said "Sir, thank you for your attention but I need to get your daughter's boyfriend to the ER and I can't be on the phone while driving." as I handed the phone back to his daughter. The boyfriend was in and out of consciousness which I had to snap my fingers a few times to get him to be alert and he told me what he was going to tell the nurses so Nine Lives Books didn't get into trouble and I asked "What does your dad, do for a living?" He said "I don't know." I asked "What rank is your dad, which branch is he in?" He said "I think he's a Captain, in the Army." I asked "How long has your dad been in the Army, for the United States of America?" He said "About twenty or twenty five years" and I sped the van up to go faster than the 80-85 miles per hour I was already driving on I10, which is why I was able to get from Nine Lives Books to BAMC in less than 15 minutes. (Sorry San Antonio Police Officers, but I'm sure you comprehend) I asked the boyfriend "So are you telling me, your dad is overseas right now and by the way thanks for his service, but your dad is overseas right now, he's been in the military for twenty to twenty five years; and you think his rank is Captain?" He said "Yeah, he can't be any higher ranking than that." When we got to the entrance I already had the boyfriend, the girlfriend's, and my identification to give to the security officer at the gate and I rushed over to the Emergency Room, told the girlfriend to get out and get a wheelchair, and I parked the van. I got to the other side of the van, opened the door, picked up the boyfriend to put in the wheelchair, and had the girlfriend push the wheelchair so I could get to the front counter to speak with the nurse before they did. When the clearance was given I stepped forward as the two came into the Emergency Room and I told them to stay at the line, whole I spoke with the nurse. I told the nurse what the boyfriend and the girlfriends were going to tell her and then I told her what I knew as fact was Nine Lives had just received a large number of new cats which had not been vaccinated and the sanctuary did not know of where the ferrel cats came from, the boyfriend said one of the cats which had been ferel as well as a Main Coon cat, had scratched him, and there was a large amount of blood loss. The boyfriend and girlfriend were then allowed to move to the nurse's station and the nurse listened to the boyfriend as he told her what I said he was going to say when he said "I was scratch at the cat sanctuary at Nine Lives Books, and all of the cats had their vaccins. I just need to be stitched up, and everything will be okay." The nurse looked and me as I looked at her, she took his other information, and we all were told to go to the waiting room. I heard a phone ring near where the nurse was sitting and the nurse we spoke with answer the phone, then shortly after the nurse came over to where we were after the boyfriend's vitals had been checked to say "Your dad is on the phone," and then she looked at me and said "He said thank you for bringing his son to the ER, you can go now." I looked at the boyfriend and said "Captain, huh? I don't think so." I looked at the nurse and said "Yes, Ma'am. You got it, no problem." I left the ER, and drove back to Nine Lives Books trying to comprehend what just happened, while trying to calm myself down. When I walked into the store, grabbed one of the cordless phones, and just at the moment I walked to the back area where the online book section was the phone rang to the the cordless phone and I saw the numbers for Fort Sam Houston. I answered the phone, took the call outside to the back area, and spoke with whatever the soldier's name was to give a full detail of the events. However in regards to "Cactus Jack" AKA Jeffrey Kuykendall Jr and how he got the title of "Cactus Jack" was because he landed on cactus win the field at Camp Bullis and as I explained in both the "Finding A Silver Lining By: Susan MeeLing" and "Finding the Silver Lining By: Susan MeeLing" books, as well as the prior journal blog entry post about such; all is true as told to me; though obviously I was not a part of that event, nor did I or do I support such, and I warned "Cactus Jack" of the terroristic aspects he sounded like in his descriptions to me of what he and the "151 Road Warriors" did to the city of San Antonio. Also in regards to "Cactus Jack" AKA Jeffrey Kuykendall Jr who claimed because he had a "Native American Card" which was something along the lines of 1/286 percentage as well as the fact my Medal of Honor Art Project had been through various aspects throughout Native American territories (after all, they were here before the Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria landed) of which having anything to cause harms in regards to my Medal of Honor Art Project despite certain aspects of the various Native American Tribes and The United States of America, the way they honor their passed ones on top of how they view honor; I would not recommend though obviously hypothetically too late in that regards, but definitely would not want to aggravate them. However though my dead-ex-husband had uniforms he collected from wherever he had been stationed so aoll know, I did not ever give anything of my dead-ex-husband to "Cactus Jack" AKA Jeffrey Kuykendall Jr and since he was/is involved with World War II reenacting on the Nazi side of the World War II reenacting; I did not give him the rights to any of the uniforms or anything else, once again. If "Cactus Jack" AKA Jeffrey Kuykendall Jr had taken the uniforms my dead-ex-husband had of various locations and countries I give my full permission for those countries to take back their uniforms, as I never gave them to "Cactus Jack" AKA Jeffrey Kuykendall Jr to begin with; and never would have. If there is photographic proof of "Cactus Jack" AKA Jeffrey Kuykendall Jr wearing those other countries uniforms as at the time I knew him he did not have any uniforms except World War II Nazi uniforms so anything other than a Nazi uniform would be considered as property of mine because of being the Executrix, I give permission as The Executrix of my dead-ex-husband's estate to whichever country of which working with The United States of America to retrieve their property as it is their uniforms of their military; to return to their rightful homelands. If more is necessary such as a video, I will give my testimony through the Periscope video for such; just as an additional measure. Obviously not having given "Cactus Jack" AKA Jeffrey Kuykendall r any rights to such if he gave away or sold any other those uniforms, I give my permission as The Executrix for the United States of America's governmental agencies permission to recuperate such losses to return to the countries' rightful owners of the uniforms as I do apologize for not knowing how else to help; but I do give my permissions for such as "Cactus Jack" AKA Jeffrey Kuykendall Jr never had my permission to have or take anything of mine, or of my children's, or my dead-ex-husband's. While I admit to having written a check to "Cactus Jack" AKA Jeffrey Kuykendall Jr I also now know and remember, it had been after taking a set of my medications when he had asked me for such. Unlike then in 2008, now in 2019 I am unuburdened by that amount of medication and unrestricted in my freewill to type such a statement and make one as I had on Periscope. Though smoking my e cigarette, such is not the equivalent of such mind altering medications as I once was on back in 2008; and thus of my own free will and own free conscience honestly declare for such to the best of my ability in truth, as always.


I35 South

When in the process after everything in regards to my dead-ex-husband's funeral, the events thereafter in regards to the Warrior Transition Unit, as well as ensuring my children James Michael and Lidia Louise (Nichols) had been able to get to know their biological father's side of the family before knowing how they were, I went to the Dallas Fort Worth area of Texas to try to find our home so they could be close enough to their biological father's side of the family; but the house being far enough away from the ex-in-laws that I could ensure they would not just pop over whenever they felt like it, as I thought. After looking at over 200 houses with the realtor on several occasions to try to find a house to make into a home for my son, daughter, and I; I found one. I was staying at the Comfort Inn Suites near Attison I think when insomnia kicked into high gear, and I just could not sleep. Partially because of wanting to show my son and daughter what house was ours, but also because something felt weird inside me. I packed the VW Beetle and started driving on the highway to return to the house in San Antonio. As I drove on I35 South the amount of semi-trucks on the road felt normal for the time of the night, as the majority of the semi-trucks drive over the hours with less people on the road. As approaching an area well after Hillsboro but before Austin Texas I saw the lights of the semi-trucks ahead start flashing their four-ways, while slamming on their breaks. I felt the need to take my car into the middle of the two lanes and drive along the dots, and I am glad I did. Just went I took my car I named "Zippy" to zip into the middle, the semi-truck in front of me slammed on its brakes and jack knifed as the semi-truck that was behind me had stopped just before hitting that semi-truck's trailer. There looked to be less that a foot of distance between the nose of the semi-truck behind where I was and the trailer portion, of the semi-truck in front of where I was. I zoomed passed the group of semi-trucks on each side of the two way portion of the highway passed around fifteen or twenty semi-trucks on each side of each lane before I stopped my car in front of the front most semi-truck. I saw one semi-truck with the tractor trailer along the cement median and people helping the male and female out of the semi cab as I screamed "Get the keys, and turn off the engine! It's smoking!" Then I pulled out my cell phone to call 9-1-1 which the female operator listened as I tried to give her the information of where we were located in regards to the collision, of which a different truck driver started walking up to me after I told the female operator "There is a smiley face billboard behind where we are on the side we're on going south bound but the smiley face billboard is facing north bound, there is an angled concrete wall from the access road coming towards the highway on the southbound side of the highway and there is an empty field along the north bound side of I35" when the female operator would not repeat the information I gave to her correctly, I handed my cellphone to the semi-truck driver approaching where I was and I handed him my cellphone because the dumpster semi- truck which was facing towards the wrong direction towards the trucks and my car going south on I35 which the crew cab was on its side and had a different semi-truck driver standing on the door said "He's stuck inside" and the semi-truck driver who I handed my cellphone to said he'd tell the 9-1-1 operator where we were as I ran, climbed up the side of the cab, crawled into the cab to get the semi-truck driver un-seat-belted after turning off the engine which was smoking and spewing liquids everywhere and saturating my clothes. I didn't realize un-seat-belting the driver meant he would slide down a little further, so I crawled further underneath where he was to adjust his body so the semi-truck drive on the door would be able to do as I said "Grab his shoulder, but be careful of his neck! When I count to three you pull his shoulders and I will push his hips from where I am at. Ready?" The semi-truck drive standing on the door knelt down and grabbed the shoulders of the unconscious driver and I wriggled my hands into the proper location to push and as the one on the door said "I'm ready" I said "Okay, one! Two! Three!" and that driver pulled while I pushed, and quickly the unconscious semi-truck driver was out of the cab, laying on the door. The other male went to reach for my hand and I said "I got it, keep him from choking and sit him up, please!" I put my hands on the side, and pulled myself upward to climb on top of the door. The other driver was told by me "Grab his arm and we'll fireman carry him, behind that yellow bug. That's my car, we need to get him clear just in case, there's a lot of chemicals spewing out of that engine and we need to do what we can to get him away, in case there is a blast." We rushed him to behind the bug, and I popped the trunk to get the drivers a Lipton tea with lemon which ironically I did not realize I had purchased the lemon version as that is tool acidic for my stomach, but was ideal for that point in time because of the acidity in the lemon albeit the sugar, but the lemon would assist with the prevention of infection. I had the male semi-truck driver come to by snapping my fangers a few times to get him conscious and after the semi-truck driver who had my cellphone said "The female on the 9-1-1 call is stupid, she doesn't know where we are." I took the phone and said "You have the ability to triangulate this phone call, get EMS here immediately and then the Police to please help direct the traffic." I hung up the phone and put the phone in the truck driver's hands and I said "Dial the phone number you know someone will answer the call" and he did before slumping over, which I helped prop him back up and spoke to the voicemail machine to let the people who would get the message "to know your family member or friend was in a semi-truck accident on I35, I don't know what hospital he will be taken to, but you know how to search and call to find him. He injured and spitting out teeth and blood, in and out of consciousness and I apologize for the shortness of this message but I need to tend to his woulds. My name is Susan and I hop-e you are able to find him quickly" and then I hung up the phone, to get back to the care that I could do. The EMS showed up fairly quickly after that phone call ended and they got him onto s stretcher, before putting him into the ambulance. A blond male told me "You can move your car now" and I said "You aren't the Police and if they need to talk with me, then they need to talk with me. If the Police tell me to move out, then I will; but I'm not listening to you. I'm sorry, but they need to clear the scene and you are not authorized to let anyone go, at this point." He rolled his eyes and continued with the gurney before the semi truck driver who I gave my cellphone to in order to speak with the 9-1-1 operator said "I need to wipe the stuff off of you, you're covered in chemicals and blood and its already eaten through part of your shirt. I have some baby wipes to clean your skin off" I put my arms out to the side and he wiped down my neck and shoulders, before I took a few to wipe underneath my shirt and bra; as holy as it had become. There was a point in time a female had approached me with a microphone and asked me a few questions, but I was more focused on the other aspects of the situation before I gave her back the mic as she asked for it back after she asked me "Did the Army teach you what you know?" and I couldn't help but to laugh nervously and said "Nope, the Army din't teach me what I know" which was the truth, though not discrediting the Army but I had not been in Basic Training long enough for the Army to have taught me what I did. Though part of it I had learned from certain books my biological father had, the other aspects just kicked in when it was necessary and I went along my way. Later on the Police showed up and told me to get into my car when I asked "Officer, are you sure you don't need me to give you my statement?" He said "No, you need to go around." I said "I am not trying to be rude Officer, but I helped clear the truck driver out of the cab. Are you sure, you don't need me to stay and give you my information?" He said "No, what I need you to do is clear out of the way." I said "Yes, Officer. Thank you for your service and please stay safe." I got into my car, and drove back to the house in San Antonio. I went to my children's room and gave them a kiss on the cheek before going to take a shower, and then giving them a hug a kiss letting them know I found our new home. I originally went to take my clothes to the washer but after seeing the back of my shirt where the unicorns and rainbows had been eaten away from the chemicals in the back portion of my shirt as well as the blood all along it, and my pants were no different as the jeans were holy and falling apart; I wrapped them into several plastic bags and threw them away. Now I realized, I should have taken the bio-hazardous material to a hospital for throwing away; but that was 2008 and this is 2019 which it is a bit late for that. Though I do apologize, I was not thinking about that at the time. It was not done purposefully, though I have a feeling somebody grabbed it before the trash people took it out. Much later I received a voicemail message from a female who said she was related to the driver who I saved and said "thank you" and because I didn't know what I was supposed to do and I didn't want to be rude about the situation because I didn't know what to say, I couldn't help when my fingers twitched to click the save button but clicked the delete button instead. I needed time to process that but, the phone already deleted the message and I felt like a jerk not being able to save the message but also I felt like a jerk because how do you say "You're welcome for saving his life" without feeling like a jerk? I didn't know how to do that, and honestly I still kind of feel like a jerk for writing that. However if that family would like to meet still and since I am in the state of Texas, I do not cammo and they are more than welcome to contact me. If you know of who those individuals are, please forward this post to them and let them know. I do apologize for not being the most normal, but I also am not accustomed to such type of responses.


SCUBA Diving

See the posts related to and thereof


McCoy Elementary School and Carrollton Farmers Branch Independent School District and the denial of Special Needs Education assistance for my daughter Lidia Louise and the treatment of my son James Michael (Nichols) as well as the discrimination against them and I because of the military background in regards to associations with The United States of America's Armed Forces; including how because of their discrimination against my children and I as well as the denial of Special Needs Education what occurred when my daughter was left unattended at The Fort Worth Zoo and then blamed by the Fort Worth Police Officers for the school's and the parent volunteer's lack of keeping my daughter safe on that field trip as well as the aftermath of

See prior writings including "Finding A Silver Lining By: Susan MeeLing" as well as "Finding the Silver Lining By: Susan MeeLing"



In the name of Lady Dori Belle and though never denying of my real name I had done several modeling shoots of which were completed from 2008 through to 2011 when I stopped because of the events of my children being more important and though I tried to keep up with such the purposes of getting used to what I look like, had already been completed. Though I had done several modeling shoots after 2011, they were far and few between. Though I had done a total of 3 performances between the combinations of modeling and the performances; I was never contacted for any larger projects. Due to such and as many as I had done, I figured I was not the look of which anyone wanted to hire for anything further. I had completed one show though only towards the end of my time in Washington state, I had contacted the director who I had told I did not have the ability to check my email nearly as often as checking my phone; and he invited me to dinner to show me some of the episodes I was involved with; though in turn also never having been paid for any performance nor modeling shoot I had been a part of. Thus I figured if it was actually important enough, I would have been informed of. However since such had not occurred between the beginning of the modeling in 2008 through to current times again; I figured I did not have the look of which other producers and the like were interested in and in turn, I continued on with my writings and my Medal of Honor Art Project which again has shown me of which through the lack of contact in regards to, where I stand with such. Though I have reached out and contacted quite a few as I had in regards to various other aspects whether that has to do with the online hacking and targeting which has prevented me from being contacted, or if it is just that I was not good enough to be considered for such; at this point it seems though as a mute pointe. Though I have never denied my issues with technology, the lack of contact has unequivocally shown me either or those two aspects. Either it is there has been online interference with me receiving messages or there has been none for me to answer to in regards to wanting me to be involved with anything else. If such is in regards to the threats I had received in messages online after beginning to date who I will write of in the next few responses, then again as I have requested for before; justice needs to occur. While in Washington state the lack of being online had to do with the amount of pain when getting to such computer devices in regards to the amount of time I had spent online when in the state of Texas; the only aspect I can think of had been the interference of me receiving the messages of request or the lack of interest in me, as there is truly no other aspect to take into consideration that I can think of.


Online Dating

I tried twice admittedly and after the two experiences, I had enough. The first was a male who said he graduated from Louisiana University with the Tigers as the mascot as an anesthesiologist and his ex-wife whom he was moving on from at the time, or whatever the case was; and then another individual who I actually had started feeling something for but up and disappeared afterwards. Due to the fact I am not the type of person who felt comfortable to begin with in regards to online dating, that was enough for me to try. Though others might consider such to be a bit unwilling to try something new; realistically that was extremely new for me to try and I had been very hesitant to even do as such. Though later in 2012 and 2013 my biological mother and then roommate Alicia threatened me by saying they were going to make online dating profiles for me to "get out there", I did not feel comfortable. Also having started dating a male from SCUBA Diving whom I had started having feelings for at the time when the end through the messages he sent me which were all together atrocious in nature, I felt that was enough. I was willing to put such efforts for a submissive, but when that had turned out to be overly dramatic because of other aspects; that caused my views to be quite askewed. Since I was still dealing with the online threatening messages, I was unwilling to compromise in taking such risks with my children being involved. Tyhen again after doing one online search for a country concert and the only concert for the entire state of Texas being at Cowboys Dance Hall when Stoney LaRue was playing in March of 2013 and how I dealt with the garbage I described in "Finding A Silver Lining By: Susan MeeLing" and "Finding the Silver Lining By: Susan MeeLing" in regards to Kevin and his group of individuals who had literally not left me alone to simply enjoy the concert and then I ended up in Washington state literally in the description as I had been threatened by in so many online messages of being kept at the foot of my kidnappers/captures bed; how such occurred is still something I internally wrestle with as such has been painful in the state of Washington and the residual effects thereof. While some might think I was asking for it, is that not considered victim blaming? I mean, how many times did I tell people in person about the threats I received online at different events in the state of Texas? The answer is every single event I went to from Dallas, to Austin, to San Antonio. How many times did either someone I was dating who I was living with or my ex-roommate find me unconscious when they came back to the apartment and when they asked me about it I told them about a message I received which started having images after the threats online? Every single time that occurred, is the answer. For those who are unaware those particular messages with the imagery and the threat combinations started when living in Irving Texas with my now ex-boyfriend but then boyfriend Patrick Kennedy in 2011 and went through to when I had my now ex-roommate Alicia in 2012/2013. If such had to do with my relationship with Shaun and his ex-girlfriend Leslie then such is about to be discussed, if having to do with ex-boyfriends of mine prior which I have written of, then so should justice occur in all sectors; and if having to do with my ex-in-laws and/or my biological family; I sarcastically write "good job at putting your niece and nephew and/or grandchildren at risk and showing my children how little you ever cared about them." If a combination thereof I sarcastically write "good job showing me you truly never cared or loved me or mine the way you once claim you ever did. Are you proud of yourselves for such stupid, childish games? Good job being in combination the only way in combination to beat being worse than my dead-ex-husband, all of you combining your efforts together to become the only way to be worse than my dead-ex-husband. Did you think I would want to return to you for something like that, in a romantic way? If so, how would that be a good and truthful type of relationship?" The answer is, it would not be and I would end up leaving such an abusive relationship again; right? To that rhetorical question, the answer is yes. So if "Cactus Jack" thought I would run back to him, obviously I did not; with the exception to run back to San Antonio to help law enforcement with prosecution. If Thomas Marsden, you were such a whiny little baby to begin with how could you ever think I would want to be with such after losing it after you cried over a movie? To Pam, how could you think I would want to return to that when I was barely hanging on by a string in the first place? To Joey and Meg, after you demanded me to sleep with Joey; how sexist was such? Again, how many people did I tell about the threatening messages I received when at a ClubFEM event? Each and every time, is the answer. If you thought I was joking or lying or creating problems; 1) I never joke about safety or threats, 2) I cannot tell a lie, as I have said before, 3) I do not create problems, but I do have a tendency to fix them when given the opportunity. In regards to the IRS form I filled out in full in reference to Maitresse Renee and Jason in regards to when I was living at Crystal Creek apartments which I faxed using their fax machine, yes I did. After reading more threatening messages after having ended up in Washington state and being told of such availability from Carl in Austin, yes I did send such paperwork because of the threat combination as well as I could not tell what was wrong at the time nor explain the additional amount of physical pain I was in because of the electrocution factors when in the state of Washington as well as along the west coast; but if you had something to do with how I ended up in Washington state because of whatever excuses for me to be targeted at Cowboys Dance Hall in San Antonio; what an sorry excuse for female power. Not forgetting the fact you repeatedly told me "how much money could be made being a Professional Dominatrix" and "Its all in cash, so what's the big deal?" after making fun of the fact I was involved with the United States of America's Armed Forces and making fun of how you treated former soldiers and your clientele with similar backgrounds; of which I told you then before being in Washington state "The IRS does not play games when it comes to taxes" and "You cannot game the system of The United States of America forever, because it will catch up to you when you are at your most arrogant." How proud of yourselves are you for having the ability to use my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury after effects against me? In regards to the overall in use of my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury affects against me, how much better do you feel about yourselves that you outsmarted someone who has the mathematical capabilities of a 2nd Grader? Do you feel so much better about yourselves, now? Also if anyone in the state of Texas' lifestyles used any form of the United States of America's governing agencies to try to manipulate them into doing your bidding while hiding anything from The United States of America to cause them to question my loyalty to the ones I have done everything I could to be respectful of and protect in my own little ways, how dare you attempt such. You may not like certain aspects of the United States of America and you may prefer things to be different, but go check out how other locations are run; and see the major difference. The Constitutional Rights and Amendments of which those males and female protect while serving this country are much more than you realize, if you actually open your eyes enough to see such. If you also had something to do with the manipulation of my Medal of Honor Art Project, how proud of yourselves are you to know you messed with Medal of Honor recipients' and their family/families (family = blood relations &families = the various branches and divisions of The United States of America's Armed Forces)? To travel with such across state lines on top of which, if you did not know is a federal aspect of which you better be respectful to the Federal Bureau of Investigation people because they put their lives on the line in ways you seem to not comprehend; not forgetting the innocent civilians who were caught in the crossfire when in the state of Montana when the red Hyundai caused all of the traffic back up. Also since the aspects of my Medal of Honor Art Project have to do with the Medal of Honor which is only earned during times of war and conflict, thus you have involved the Central Bureau of Investigation as though those guys do not already have enough, they have to deal with. Then you add the National Security Agency and their jobs are not already difficult, too? Really? Then add into your consideration each of the Congress people and the Senators of each and every single state of which you added to your games, in reference to my Medal of Honor Art Project; as well as the Vice Presidents and the Presidents of The United States of America. At any point did any single one of you think about when messing with my Medal of Honor Art Project of the magnitude you would annoy each and every religious and spiritual organization? What about the aspects of other countries the United States of America does and even the ones we do not have treaties with, did you not take into consideration each countries' military has their own version of the Medal of Honor? The top award of the United States of America? Now that I am alone and only have myself to worry about but without such a support network as I once thought I had, that admittedly has pushed my opinions in a manner of which I cannot comprehend the use of such. While others might find their partners and soulmates through such, hey; great for them. I just seemingly do not have that sort of luck as I also am unwilling to risk my safety and well being to

When I was dating and engaged to the man I thought was going to be my one and only, I had dealt with his ex-girlfriend Leslie who had contacted him when we had announced our engagement and threw a tempter tantrum about some earrings she felt were important to her because they were from a James Avery store. Albeit my biological parents and my biological sister despised me being in a relationship with Shaun as my biological mother did not like his non-chalantness and my biological father did not think "a pretty boy" was worth my time, whereas my biological sister said she "didn't like Shaun, because he seems too smooth". Though they let me know how little my feelings had meant to them in reference to whom I chose to be involved in a relationship with, they thought if they complained about Shaun enough to me; somehow I would stop caring about him if I would just see what they saw. Though their opinions mattered little to me by that point in time with the exception of my biological father's to a point, the aspects of which they had complained about had been seemingly less than anything of which to pay much mind to.

Leslie called Shaun and started whining and complaining about a pair of earrings she could have easily gone to a James Avery store to purchase a new pair as those particular earrings; if they were actually made by James Avery that is. Since those types of jewelry pieces she had are mass produced and having been raised by some who graduated from The School of Boluva and was certified to work on various high end watches as well as create his own jewelry and repair such; I could tell they were cheaper pieces of earring jewelry than something someone could get from a Claire's shop, again a mass produced jewelry shop and not unique in stone settings or stones or designs. However there also was not a stamp for the silver she claimed it was made of (which it looked and felt like pewter to me), and it did not have the James Avery signature in the metal. In turn it seemed as though she was being childish in her endeavors and attempting to cause a rift between Shaun and I, which he did not need as he was getting ready for Basic Training with The United States of America's Army Branch and I did not have patience for because she seemed more childish than my hair color looks like a crayon color; from her actions, words, and tone of voice. She was throwing a temper tantrum over simple jewelry which she herself admitted there was no actual value to neither in the emotional attachment sort of way, and definitely could not verify in the financial sort of way.

When Shaun grew weary of dealing with Leslie's tempter tantrums I asked Shaun "Do you really want to deal with that or do you want to just let her go, and complain instead?' He said "I feel bad for her" and I wrapped my arms around him and said "You are a good man, but that female is trying to use that against you instead of just being a grown up and going to purchase a pair for herself." He asked "Would you mind dealing with her, I need to finish getting ready?" I told him she could have my email address to contact me of (which I cannot get into now because of Google and Gmail not releasing my access back to me) and I will explain to her that her jewelry is not worth its weight in salt, and she can go to purchase a pair if the earrings truly mean that much to her. If they do not mean that much to her instead she will continue to throw tempter tantrums and do nothing to try to fix things for herself, through going through the proper channels to do so."

Shaun chuckled and said "Okay, honey. I will, but I just find it funny you said channel." I asked "Why is that funny?" He smiled as he grabbed something from the couch he had to then go to his bedroom laughing as I asked "What is so funny?" I don't get why you are laughing at me, or are you laughing at what I said?" He came back to me and wrapped his arms around my waist and said "It's a combination of both, if you only knew." I asked "If I only knew, what?" He kissed me on my forehead and said "I love you, you are so innocent." I said "Yeah, okay. What does that have to do with anything?" He shook his head smiling and said "I can't say that, right now." I asked "Didn't you promise me you would always be honest with me?" He looked into my eyes and said "Yes dear, but we're late. We have to go to my mom's house and then we have to go to pick up some things too, before we go there." I said "You will explain to me later, right?" He said,, "Yes, I will. I promise"

We went on our way and later after he left for Basic Training, I had dealt with the emails from Lesie. At first she was fairly plesant-ish, through at the same time she was derrogatory in her emails to me. She knew about my children and she told me "I can't believe he would want to be with someone who looks like you. If you knew what I look like, you would know your looks are nothing compared to what I look like." I ignored her comments about what I looked like as by that time the amount of people in the state of Texas who had commented about how my short bright red Pixie haircut and color are "not normal looking in the state of Texas" among various other comments I had been told, in person. Leslie was only saying such through an email and I thought to myself "What a non-big person to say something like that through an email, and not have the ability to say to my face in my presence." In the beginning of her emails she went on about how Shaun did not care about the fact she introduced him to her children and how i he would not care about my children, as well as several other points. Later as the emails grew more and more aggressive on her part, she started making threats to Shaun.

That would be when I was instantly aggravated and pissed off she would have the nerve to put a threat to a soldier of The United States of America into harms way, when they are already dealing with whatever their particular jobs are. I responded to her letting Leslie know she could not make threats to the United States of America's soldiers without receiving penalties for such, and it would be able to be found out if she was stupid enough to do something to him. After awhile she stopped emailing me though I admit because of my after effects from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury, I did not know about people taking what was written to then go and do something about it in real life. I thought after Leslie asked me "Are you challenging me?" and the emails stopped afterwards when I responded saying "No, I am not challenging you. I would never want anyone of the soldiers of any branch of The United States Armed Forces to be injured because of a threat from an American civilian or anyone else for that matter. Their jobs are dangerous, enough."

Shortly after that last email set, what occurred in reference to a prior post I wrote about in regards to the sexual assaults I had written as well as other posts in reference to additional information regarding such though in specific to this, the situation with Joe at Rick and Joe's house had happened. I could not tell Shaun about that happening to me in the time he was in Basic Training and I knew if I did, he would have done whatever he could to have gotten out of finishing Basic Training; which would have had longer term affects to him as well as how he interacted with his dad. His mom would have understood but I felt his dad would have had a difficult time with that, and I could not allow myself to be the reason he quit Basic Training from The United States of America's Armed Forces Army Branch. It did not come without consequences to me though as I was friends with a former Marine who had been there but left that night before the assault and when I tried to explain the overall to him, he told me "There was no excuse I could give which would make him look at me any different for sending a 'Dear John letter' to" Shaun, which the conversation ended afterwards. He told me "I will be so mad at you if you actually go through with writing that letter to him, because I can't think of one thing which would be okay for that." I told him "If you won't listen to me, then I can't give you my reason." Several years later when he and I spoke on the phone I told him about the assault, though I am unsure if he put the times together at that time.

I did send the letter to Shaun ending the relationship and though there was a new person in my life who was saying he only wanted to be friends with me in reference to asking questions to learn from me about certain aspects of the BDSM Lifestyle of which Shaun knew I was involved with as we had a date at a BDSM Lifestyle wedding, not until today did I realize Philly was from Plano which also was where Shaun said Leslie was from. Nor did I put the other aspects together, and though I did not break up with Shaun for the male; I know he could have seen it as such even though that was not the case then. While several months after yes that male and I did begin to date just about one or two weeks before what happened to my daughter at The Fort Worth Zoo because of McCoy Elementary School of Carrollton Farmers Branch Independent School District not doing the paperwork for my daughter to be in Special Needs Education and well after they knew about my medical problems from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury as I told the staff when I had met each of the teachers for my children as well as after registering them for school; it was not until the middle of April towards just before the end of April 2010 that Philly and I went on a date. My letter to Shaun had been sent in late February or early March of 2010, though I had told him in the letter I had asked for understanding because I could not get it from him at the time of him being in Basic Training. When I received the phone call for the zoo issue, Phillip Omstead said he needed to get blood work done and he was coming out of an appointment he made; when I got that phone call. (since I have returned to the state of Texas though some before getting into my apartment now, I have sent letters to the best of my knowledge to JP Morgan, Bank of America, and DeLoitte in reference to those statements of which are true; but I will not discuss on the internet for their business security; though also including the name of Patrick Kennedy of which Phillip Omstead introduced even though Patrick tried to tell me we had met prior of which he never gave me enough information to remember him at where he claimed we had met before Philly had introduced and was why I tried to verify with Patrick's ex-girlfriend about him - not to cause problems for her at all, but to understand somehow and as a side note though not having met her that I am aware of, I only had respect for her as I had no reason not to that I knew of or know of)

Many other aspects occurred and after moving to Cedar Park Texas to be able to be closer to my daughter's medical care facility while also keeping some semblance of balance for my son and his needs while my daughter, his sister, was going through everything she was while trying to balance her needs; I did what I could for my own self to balance what I needed for myself. Despite not having what I needed for myself in full at the time for my emotional needs to be met and not forgetting other aspects thereof, I did everything I could to keep myself under control and not to allow my emotional feelings take its toll on what I was dealing with for my children and I. I balanced life as best as I could and when the time came; Philly and I were no longer. He packed up a bunch of things including (later I found out) one of my personally designed floggers of which I had created the design I wanted and ordered online through a company in Houston. The flogger pair was made in my colors of black and white, buffalo hide, each fall was weighted 6-9 ounces with the black adhered to the white, a diamond pattern for the hilt, and was the only pair of floggers I preferred to swing because of the strength needed to be able to utilize both at the same time. Also with such a design, the submissive/masochist underneath the falls would be more to my liking as they would be able to enjoy the sensations of what I was doing. Whereas Philly preferred to drape the leather and drag it along someone's back when I allowed him to use my tools, I would actually swing the floggers as intended.

The female I had created the design for had been the same female I had created the design for a paddle with furniture tacks into the wood, as I knew her preferences for pain levels. Paige as she is/was known preferred a heavier hit and more force when the striking occurred in comparison to what Philly would do, when I allowed him to use my tools during the scene we had done with her and Pita. Where his style was far more lesser for an aspect of impact which Pita preferred sensation play, Paige was more interested in that which I enjoyed playing as I am not one who does nor takes things lightly and thus, my swings when I was only barely warmed up during that scene (though I feel the same could have been said for her); Philly wanted to stop because he thought she couldn't take anymore. Later when we talked I told Philly "If Paige couldn't take anymore what she couldn't take anymore was how weak your swings were, and how much you complained about continuing on. I could have continued for several more hours as I was just getting warmed up, but you couldn't handle watching how much I can do." Philly claimed "No, Paige was really hurt." I said "Yeah, she was really hurt the scene didn't go on longer because you were sweaty and tired and I could keep going on and on instead of stopping because you couldn't handle what I was doing and what she was enjoying." Philly whined "No, Paige was ready to cry." I said "Yeah, cry that times you went over to her because you couldn't do what she wanted and because you wanted to switch to a role you couldn't handle." Philly and the discussion with me went on for awhile and shortly thereafter, that would be when that ended. I did not know he took my other flogger until later when he was already back in Dallas, which infuriated me. Then again he also did not expect me to be infuriated when he wrote and I demanded to speak with him about posting about a "hotel stay". He told me "I'm surprised you would want that clarified." I said "You should know much better, I am nothing like or similar to you." He said "I was just joking" and was upset when I said "There are always some amounts of truth, to certain jokes. Your joke was not a joke, that was completely the truth; wasn't it?" He said "Well, kinda." I told him "Life is not a joke, nor is it a game like your HALO game. There are bad ass mother fuckers who actually know what HALO is based off of and everything which is entailed to HALO missions. You play your little game while there are people who actually know what the fuck, that is about. I repeat, life is not a game. Especially, that one. If you only knew what actually goes into their training, you wouldn't be so quick to play games like that." He asked me "If you're so smart, what is HALO?" I said "The real HALO means High Altitude Low Opening, as I told you about that piece of shit who tried to say he did HALO jumps thousands of times at Grand Central Station in San Antonio and I asked h'How many HALO jumps did you do through the bridal loop?' and he said "hundreds aof thousands said "I'm sorry, but I also have to go now." I said, "Yeah, you do."

After Philly and I broke up and he was gone for awhile, Shaun showed up to the house in Cedar Park Texas and after surprising me by doing so; when I saw him

In reference to human trafficking and the targeting of innocence, when does the justice occur for someone like me? I obviously was targeting when at Cowboys Dance Hall in San Antonio Texas at the Stoney LaRue concert of which I was taken with my son instead of to Florida as discussed with my son and others; to Washington state in the end. When does justice occur for my son and I for such actions in reference to Kevin and those people he was with, who assisted my now ex-boyfriend Jesse Leroy Hoover Jr taking advantage of my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury and the effects thereof? When does justice occur for what occurred to my daughter because of McCoy Elementary School and Carrollton Farmers Branch Independent School District of which what occurred is rectified and repaired where my daughter is as well as my son as well as myself; as I should have never had to sell my house because of the Principal at the time of 2008-2010 Dawn Rink not approving of the way I look; or of the military background of myself and my children's biological father. Where is the justice in reference to so many aspects I wrote of in my first two books "Finding A Silver Lining By: Susan MeeLing" and "Finding the Silver Lining By: Susan MeeLing"?

The ultimate measure of an individual is not where they stand in moments of comfort and convenience, but where they stand at the time of challenge and controversy.

We must reject the idea that everytime a law is broken society is guity, rather than the law breaker. 

Freedom is never-more than one generation away, from exinction.  We do not pass freedom on through our blood stream because freedom must be fought for, protected, and handed on for the next generation to do the same.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

It should not take a head injury to figure this out, because you are smarter.

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Reverend MeeLing

The Ornery PSA


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