Little bit ago this year
Today I ordered and sent copies of my first book series of 2 books called "Finding A Silver Lining By: (Reverend) Susan MeeLing" and "Finding The Silver Lining By: (Reverend) Susan MeeLing" to go to the Chaplain Service Center for The Gift Chapel at #JBSA at #FortSamHouston in #SanAntonio #Texas, for several reasons.
1). There are many younger soldiers who are entering The #UnitedStatesofAmerica's #AfremedForces for many reasons, as there have been many over the years prior. However with this modern era with so many aspects of the technological aspects as well as various individuals utilizing such, it is my own little Faery-sized way of giving the soldiers of each of the branches who choose to go to The Gift Chapel to be able to read through the 2 different books while being in a spiritually open location to rejuvenate their spirit while at the same time giving them another view of life. There is no denial of the realities of which of I have faced and been through, but if the books give a more positive outlook while informing the individual soldiers of whichever branch to prepare themselves for both the military and the civilian sectors of life; it hopefully can help. The various aspects of each of the books individually and combined are a way for each who chooses to review such, in a manner to see a better way for themselves and when they choose to start a family with another person; they are able to keep their eyes open and have a more positive life for them and their loved ones.
2). Though I had mailed those books previously to various news organizations, musicians and their studio companies, as well as celebrities which have inspired me in various ways albeit not knowing every single aspect of their lives but being able to see a path for which to better myself while attempting to help others as I knew I was not the only one who had gone through certain aspects; I hoped they would see ways to assist to help prevent what my son, my daughter, and I from happening to others while at the same time if certain aspects were something they themselves went through and were having difficulties, they were able to see a better path as well. That was a hope of mine, at least.
3). Those who have known me over the years have known I am not one who usually boasts about myself nor about what I have done, as I prefer to give credit where credit is due. Though I had written several books and journal blog entries over the years, as my thoughts were continuously of what was needed for my Medal of Honor Art Project and the planning thereof while mulling over thoughts of other portions at the same time; I know I rarely discussed the books I had written with people when I was in #Washington state. That was not in a way to prevent people from knowing about my writings, but the books had not been at the forefront of my thoughts at the majority of the time when I was out of the house. Usually in attempts to keep my focus at a different point than the additional pain I was dealing with in the area, what I could keep my focus on was whatever I was speaking with others about.
Though I had been asked about my Medal of Honor Art Project as well as various other points, I had not been asked about my books I had written before when I was in Washington state; with the exception of a few times. Due to such, I felt the need to discuss my books was not what others were wanting to talk about as such was rarely ever brought up in any discussion. Though certain points of the topics with others, none were ever brought up to me in reference to what I had written. Thus in reference to a journal blog entry I had written after going to #Portland #Oregon among other aspects due to the fact no one ever had talked with me about nor asked me about my books in specific, why would I or anyone in such a situation ever think any of the topics written of were ever of any importance?
I thought at the time of finishing writing and publishing that there was somethings of importance, though I had not known of what such would be able to assist beyond being able to make sure my son and my daughter knew I did everything I could for both of them individually and together; though also for many more, as I knew there were others with some similar circumstances in different combinations and ways. The FSL books seemed important to compile together though I could not fathom, as to how. I had not thought such was arrogant when the actions I took at each time had been needing to be done, though I was told I was arrogant for thinking such things would or could be of pertinence to others for understanding and betterment of.
I wanted so much to be able to help where I could despite the fact of knowing that I could only do so much, while at the same time of not denying wanting for myself; I knew there were aspects which when looking at the situations, sometimes I needed to put my own wants, needs, and desires on the back burner despite not wanting to have others put me on the back burner. I know such might come across as a dichotomy, though the points of which knowing certain situations needed to be taken care of and knowing in certain circumstances I was the only one who could bring such light to the attention needed not for myself to be in the center of the limelight, but for the ability to bring the necessary change for the betterment of more than just my children and myself.
From the conception of my children to well afterwards and into the portions of my Medal of Honor Art Project I had paid attention to much, although some thought of much less of me simply because of who I am or at minimum; who they saw me to be at those times, in whichever aspects of. Did I think anyone would follow me around when in reference of my Medal of Honor Art Project, truthfully? Yes, though only law enforcement agencies is who I thought would be wanting to know what my purposes were for such. I know my background and I know that many might think of what I had been through in certain aspects as a vengeful aspect, though realistically I guesstimate by now it has been realized such had been completely out of respect for such. I know some might think it odd of me to clean off markers that were not who would be considered as blood lineage family, though I also could not help myself at the times I had.
Do I know whose markers aside from my Medal of Honor Art Project that I had cleaned up when in the area of? Not a single one by name, honestly. There were some with flat markers as there were some standing ones as well as a few mausoleums; though it simply felt to be the correct thing to do as who knew why they needed to be cleaned as whether the family did not know they were there, or maybe they moved elsewhere and could not maintain in the same way it seemed to be a small little faery sized action that did not take me much time comparatively in regards of the other markers than my Medal of Honor Art Project markers. I know of the places in comparison of the Medal of Honor recipients' markers there had been a few which stick out in my thoughts, though mainly in the Colorado and Idaho state areas. There had been several in one location in Idaho state which just needed a bit of grass cleared out of the way, though a few in Colorado which there were some odd plants growing around that needed to be pulled away from. It was, was it was. I did similar actions when growing up in New Jersey and various areas when I was a child in other locations I went to, as it just seemed needed at the times.
No harm, no foul.