Since according to the news feed on #Facebook Facebook as to #October October being the awareness month of abuse which in its own irony has several factors as to my biological sister’s birthday, my biological father’s birthday, and the month of which I had first after waking up from my coma from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury had gotten an apartment at the complex which someone else from the #USA #USArmy #Army branch had been living called #LincolnGreen Lincoln Green. Though later in the year of 2000 my biological mother, biological father, and biological sister had visited the apartment and had met my now dead-ex-husband as well as looked at the apartment which they all knew as to such portions as each of those people had visited me in the #BAMC #SAMC Brooke Army Medical Center hospital in reference to the biological aspects; which those people did not pay attention to the fact even though they saw me in the hospital just a few months prior as well as had read my medical records as to the levels of the damages, they did not see any problems as to how the facts were in reference to only having been awake for less than five months from my coma from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury as they ignored such facts from the Army while also having argued with the Army when I was at the hospital after I woke up because of the high temperature of over 104 degrees as the Army medical doctors were not paying attention to the facts of such or they simply did not care as to such because of the fact of which I was only 17 years old at the time when I woke up and they saw nothing worthwhile of me at such times despite having more to offer than they ever were capable of seeing in some ways admittedly something I have been fairly accustomed to over my lifetime though hoped one day would be otherwise as to such as to knowing I have had more than most ever gave me credit for or could see from me as to the various amounts of time.
While my biological mother and my biological father only saw me as per the ways they saw my biological sister at such a point in time referencing the aspects of her attitude as to that year as to when I was in Basic Training as to her having to face the facts of her own choices in such realities, instead of remembering as required if able to notice the actual differences between such types of between as there were massively huge differences between the two as per the personality traits as well as the upbringing and background traits. However since they were only reminded as to whatever was complained about me in such times as to the facts of my biological sister complaining as to how she had to take responsibility for her choices and she had to take responsibility for her actions; my biological sister reminded both of our biological parents as to how much she had blamed me for what she had done, and all of such problems she caused she blamed me for had been repeated as to such times while they laughed and reminisced as to the nickname of Victim of Child Abuse as they laughed with my now dead-ex-husband about such aspects. While there was nothing I personally found funny or amusing to their jokes about such, the lack of concern as to such times was nothing new for me as to the ways of which the reminding of how the differences were and as my biological father said ‘If you did not join the Army, you would not have had to go through this now would you?’
My biological sister laughed as he went on as she added, ‘That’s what you get for trying to leave us, you didn’t think you could get away that easy could you?’ In ways which sounded as though she was trying to pretend to be the ways which people were when I began high school at Crystal Lake South, as the ways which such situations had been in reference to those people within that school as to having learned about me being born and raised in New Jersey.
While my biological mother laughed saying ‘The Victim of Child Abuse is upset yet again, what a shock.’
What is it to not have that joked about regarding having literally been called by my own biological mother, my own biological father, and my own biological sister? What is it to not have such joked about in reference to anyone as whoever would think such to be a funny joke would not be seen as to having any such compassion or humanity, in my opinion. Does it take a head injury to figure out the truth behind such a joke regarding literally as to that nickname by my own biological family, and how does it take a head injury to figure out how wrong and incorrect that is to joke about such aspects as to? What would you be asking for yourself and/or your family for such a joking reference as to what karma could bring around in different ways, as quite frankly I have not ever found such to be a funny joke. I can write in truth and honesty as per oath aspects my Big Blood Brother was so infuriated as to hearing my biological sister tease me about the facts of having such a nickname in such times when in New Jersey, how does it take a head injury to figure out how messed up a situation is when a child who was named Damien can look at such a joke with pure disgust as to having a nickname as Victim of Child Abuse though having been named Damien in the state of New Jersey with the known aspects of both the #NJDevils New Jersey Devils #hockey team as well as the knowledge of the lore of the New Jersey Devil?
Does it take a head injury to figure out as to the lore of the New Jersey Devil to the reference to how I physically look as to the ways of which after my biological mother, biological father, and biological sister had seen me as well as discussed me while in turn all such other aspects to such regards thereof as to the words specifically from people within the state of Texas through such years to my face directly as well as online as to the comments about my physical appearance as to the years between 2006 onward as how is what the comments to my face as well as online more specifically between the years of 2006 through 2013 as to such comments as to individuals in the state of Texas as to the lore as to the New Jersey Devil?
A friendly state as per the translation of the word Texas, is what I read…hmmm…
I hoped so much at that moment in December 2000 to fully turn every single individual table around and flip it over when the discussions went onward as I knew it needed to stop, however since I was blamed for my having gotten married before they arrived and they had been told as to how such had gone; the three laughed with my now dead-ex-husband as to the situation as to the so-called proposal if you could call it that as well as the actual time regarding the Justice of the Peace, which then I was blamed for not waiting in comparison to those three people simply paying attention to the truth they were told of such from his own mouth as well as my mouth. Those ignorant individuals who were refusing and were going to see one way or another as to the truths of their realities, they laughed as to the situations regarding the facts of which I hoped and hoped and hoped as childish as some might think such to be though when taking into consideration the multiple aspects as to what I have personally dealt with what would each individual who has ever been able to read through such aspects ever been able to truthfully say as to the whole combination thereof? Honestly, I would not know officially.
In reference to the aspects as to the so-called proposal as to when in reference to my now dead-ex-husband in the year of 2000, I told my biological mother about the pregnancy test as I asked what the meaning was in reference to what I had seen on the test of which somehow she did not initially pick up as to what I was referring to. I had hoped for the ability for such a situation to be different as I had already picked myself up off of the floor several times as to that month, as there was carpeting I had grabbed on trying to fight to get away at times though was not successful at that time as to the situations. Upon the moment when learning of being pregnant and having to face the reality of such as to how and when that had occurred, I knew I was going to have to bring such up as to the reality of having been pregnant with my son. When I told my now dead-ex-husband as to the situation as to being pregnant there were words of which were as they were regarding the aspects of, which I stood my ground as to the punches to my stomach area because of the knowledge as to the facts I refused an abortion as it was known to not bring such up to me about the aspects of. When a few weeks had gone by and the reality sunk in as to the situation, one day I had been in the kitchen and there was a feeling of extreme cold metal at the back of my head near my neck area moving upwards and downwards very slowly at such times.
Where it was less than five months since I woke up from my coma which I still had the subarachnoid hemorrhage in the frontal lobe of my brain quite heavily found at such a time, the Medical Hold Unit at the time had kept me on restriction with an Article 15 as to the situations as to not having graduated Basic Training and the after effects of my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury as the rave situation as well as not knowing the difference between alcohol as to beer because of my at the time Company Commander’s name as to Captain Beer as to a difference regarding #Corona Corona when out with Specialist Jolliff and Specialist Webker the first few days I was on #JBSA #FortSamHouston #FtSamHouston Fort Sam Houston in #SATX #SanAntonio #SanAntonioTexas #SanAntonioTX #TX #TXstate #Texasstate #MilitaryCityUSA Fort Sam Houston which some of the individuals had seen me at the first place I was able to get something to eat for the time I was there as no one had shown me where the DFAC was as well as not having had any way to pay for anything as to such times because of the lack of any card to pay for anything. In such times when the Master Sergeant asked me if I drank alcohol as to the Corona, I responded I had drank the Corona as to the question which he asked me if I was sure I was telling the truth which I had and that had begun the whole situation as to my Article 15 at such a time before the rave situation with the same individuals and a few others in #Austin #AustinTX #AustinTexas the area of Austin Texas as later I was taken to #Brackenridge Brackenridge hospital as I remember a male medical staff member who had said he was supposed to go to the rave I had been at and asked how much I enjoyed the party.
I remember telling him the music was good though there was not much else as to any enjoyment as my headache pain was through the roof, as he put the necklace with a pacifier I do not know where it had come from into my mouth as he told me I was chewing on my tongue too much. The female First Sergeant had later picked me up as I remember being in the backseat of her car which was a beige interior color as her daughter was in the front passenger seat, as the First Sergeant went on about everything she saw wrong with me at such a time of which certain details only my biological mother and/or my biological father would have known. In such a point in time I remained quiet and just listened as to the situation as her daughter randomly looked back towards where I was laying down staring at the similarly colored interior floor, just wishing to have gone as the pain was just too much to bear. Hearing the same words as my biological mother had used as to wishing I would have just died over and over as to such a point her daughter looked towards me similarly as the way my biological sister had done so for the years prior, which I could not help but to wish the same.
I remember I had fallen asleep after a point in time and awoke in a chair where my blood was being drawn by a phlebotomist who was having difficulty getting the needle into my left arm for a blood drawing, which I remember putting my hand on his hand telling him he would not ever be able to draw blood from that side of my arm because of what happened when I was in fifth grade which I explained briefly. He retracted the needle and grabbed a new package to draw the blood from my right arm as he saw it worked much easier, and asked me a few more questions about when I was in fifth grade. When I awoke later in the room with a female which we had been assigned to the same room for the time and her husband later was named Shawn though I cannot recall her name, I went to go to the latrine and saw one of the civilian males waiting outside of my room leaning against the wall asking me where I had been. I walked passed him to the bathroom and when I returned I told him what had occurred from what I remembered which initially he was mad at me though when I explained he was not mad at me any longer, as he could not believe how bad everything had gone as he apologized for the situation from the female Jolliff and Webker as well as some of the males from the student area of the first floor above the offices had known who were in the medical field though he had also apologized as to not knowing the female who went by the nickname of Princess Jasmine as I told Captain Beer in truth as well as Captain Morning (then 1st LT Morning) as well as Sergeant Baber and Specialist Watson in truth as to the name which I was told had been her moniker, had made a stronger than usual batch as to the tulip #flinstones flintstones looking color type and flavor as to the second two as the first two looked like Advil with the candy coating flavor and the name on the center area of the two pills when I had discussed my headache pain levels were getting to be too much as the darker green colored van had driven along what I suppose is I35.
The male civilian I cannot remember his name had stayed with me for awhile before he left, though was a partly in my opinion as to being surprised as to being alive as to what was told during the discussion. I told #CID CID about the situation as well as those in #MedicalHoldUnit #MHU Medical Hold Unit about the truth though they did not believe me because of the music I was preferring to listen to because of feelings I was picking up from more than just the lyrics, which few were paying attention to such details. Adding being born and raised in #NJ #NewJersey #NJstate #NewJerseystate New Jersey as well as having lived briefly in #IL #Illinois #Illinoisstate #ILstate Illinois as to whatever additional portions from that stereotype, there was little I could do to explain where any had believed me at any such point in time. When the phone call came from Drill Sergeant Parsley at the Medical Hold Unit before Specialist Carrollton (?spelling?) also from #FortSill #FtSill #FortSillOK #FortSillOklahoma #FtSillOK #OK #OKstate #Oklahoma #Oklahomastate Fort Sill Oklahoma in #Lawton #LawtonOK #LawtonOklahoma Lawton Oklahoma had arrived, I avoided Carollton as much as possible and only spoke with him in the breezeway as I did not feel comfortable with the situation especially after he had brought up using cocaine in the military which made little sense to me. Then again it made and makes little sense to me as to how few had believed me from the beginning, as to how many times I had explained in truth.
Does it take a head injury to figure out the depth levels of what additional needless pain that causes someone who can only tell the truth as to constantly disbelieve them even though knowing such truths of which then what does that do to your psyche when taking such into consideration, or does it take a head injury to figure out that aspect is problematic for others who have or could have a head injury at any point in time?
However I was put onto restriction initially with just the Article 15 as to the what I presumed was normal as to the extra duty after the office hours after dinner time, the escorting from anytime I had to go anywhere as to if I ever left the barracks, and after around 10pm/22:00 I had to check into the CQ office every hour until 2am before being up to go to be at the office area in the morning around 7:30am as I also was told there was only going to be an end date when I could act like a soldier. After a bit of time the Command changed from Captain Beer to Captain Morning which after a bit of time Captain Morning and I began talking on the phone as I was told I could call his pager, his office direct phone line, and/or his home line if I ever needed to speak with someone because of the fact I was considered as in Permanent Party because of being in Medical Hold Unit though because of not having officially graduated Basic Training as to the aspects of which I needed to stay away from the students as was explained to me. Yet another set of aspects few had ever believed me about as to the situations regarding Captain Morning in the year of 2000 as well as the situations involved as to such times, among several other instances. However I did not officially graduate Basic Training and I was only 17 years old when I had been in and I had the Omega clearance which upset so many individuals within my Basic Training as to the Drill Sergeants as well as the individuals who learned of such in Medical Hold Unit, though what did that ever matter as to anyone I had explained such details to initially before simply finding such to be worthless as to constantly explain? Does it take a head injury to figure out how annoying and tiring such is to have to go through repeatedly, or does it take a head injury to figure out as to the amounts of times of having had to explain such aspects for all of those who complained about my repetitiveness if you actually could have figured out ways to actually help me instead of the facts as to such situations instead as to what occurred hypothetically I would not have had to repeat myself again and again and again and life could have moved forward quicker correctly back then.
When the situations of the Brigade Commander’s retirement party which was a BBQ and Hawaiian themed event which Captain John Morning had ordered Sybert and Choleva both from being stationed in South Korea before they had shown up to Medical Hold Unit as to they had to take me to the mall to pick out clothing, though I had thought the more appropriate clothing would have been from #JCPenny #JCPenney JC Penneys instead they insisted that the store #DEB DEB or #Rainbow Rainbow or #Forever21 Forever 21 would be better for a choice for me compared to JC Penney for the clothing options. Admittedly I did not really like anything I had seen as to the upcoming event as to what was described to me which eventually I found a capri pant style one piece type jeans jumpsuit without any straps or sleeves on the shoulders through I found a mesh type fishnet rainbow pastel shade colored buttoned short sleeved type of shirt to wear with a pair of platform-ish style sandals which seemed would be better than any of the other clothing choices as per what I was told the event theme was going to be before going to get a haircut which later they styled my hair by curling certain areas as to the angled forward hairstyle and they did my makeup for the evening because I did not know how to put on makeup as I did not see any need to at the time.
The event went well enough as I stayed by Captain Morning’s side for the most part as I did not know anyone else and Sybert and Choleva discussed such with multiple individuals within Medical Hold Unit because of when later having found some Atomic Fireball candy as to the heat being too much for me to handle, and having to have a little bit before putting such back onto the plate because of the spiciness though they said it was something else to their thoughts in comparison to what I had told them about the spiciness. There were several people who had begun some discussions with me asking me about myself at the time and when asking them about themselves a switch in the discussion had been done so by Captain Morning randomly, which Sybert and Choleva had made mention of the ways which others had seemed to look at me when speaking with me though I did not understand what was meant at the time as per the discussions making little sense as to the points thereof. I remember a male who had a button down lighter blue and white Hawaiian style shirt with lighter colored eyes approach me with light brown hair and a shorter blond female with him wearing a sundress and red shoes sandal type who spoke with me briefly, when I was told it was time for everyone to take a seat for the retirement ceremony as to the event. Later when I told others about the evening they preferred to listen to Sybert and Choleva in comparison to listening to me about the situations, though yet again it was something of which at the time I had been accustomed to as to the ways few had ever listened to what I had to say in truth as it was as it was as I had grown up.
Later I met who is my now dead-ex-husband as he had seen me before and when he learned of what occurred in reference to the Article 15 as well as the details of had been when I was informed as to the #EO #EqualOpportunity EO and #IG #InspectorGeneral Inspector General, as per the notepad of speaking with the female Master Sergeant as well as later the Colonel and then when the Brigadier General had entered the room for the meeting to listen to what I had to say as well as provide the documentations from each counseling statement I had received up to the point in time for what was occurring in Medical Hold Unit as they made copies of before I returned to Medical Hold Unit to be told I needed to go to the new Brigade Commander’s office though had gotten in trouble because of no one ever teaching me how to report for duty and the length of time it took Specialist Watson to try to get me to learn quick enough had not worked out and when the Brigade Commander either realized such or had gotten tired of me making every attempt to do so correctly; he ordered the door to be opened for me and for me to go inside of his office to begin explaining the situations, as to why I had gone to the offices thereof which I did in truth. This was shortly after Captain Morning had been sent to another base #FortKnox #FtKnox #KY #Kentucky #KYstate #Kentuckystate at Fort Knox Kentucky and because of the amount of situations combined just to that point in time, I had no idea of what I was supposed to do as I had already gotten in trouble for going inside of the Old BAMC hospital and speaking with a male I met as I described how he looked and called me Sweetheart oddly as to such though had told me his name was Murphy though had a lot of medals on his chest.
Few in Medical Hold Unit had believed me as to being inside of the building and when I drew the building interior areas, the individuals did not believe me though possibly had believed me later on; that is except for Sergeant Moreno who had been in the office when the paperwork came back from the rave and he was shocked as to there being enough to take down a full grown elephant as to what occurred in reference to, which I had spent much time with the CID agents at the time about such details among several other portions as I also explained why I fought as much as I had to join the Army branch and explained why I had been emancipated which few believed me about the nightmare I had up to that point in time though I had been working on ways to fix and repair what I had seen such as much as I could as per astral traveling for lack of better words when in the newer barracks room. By the time of the IG portions and the Brigade Commander situation, I had to empty all of my pockets to give over all of the documentations from my counseling statements as the Brigade Commander was unable up to that point to find the paperwork as the individuals in the office had wrongfully removed such documents though I informed the Brigade Commander during the meeting as to there being many more which were considered as digital records of such to review. He looked through the paperwork and infuriatingly he demanded answers from each referencing Specialist Watson, Sergeant Baber, Sergeant Moreno, and the newer company commander Captain Pogada (?spelling?) which was when the requirement for me to go onward had been told to me which was when all of my restrictions were fully removed from me.
Upon seeing who is my now dead-ex-husband as to the time now in the year of 2021, I had been taken to the #SanAntonioRiverwalk #Riverwalk #RiverwalkSA #RiverwalkSATX San Antonio Riverwalk before later in some time having gone to get the apartment at Lincoln Green. By then I was already done working with the #USNavy #Navy #USMC #Marines area of which some in the Navy and the Marines were stationed when nearby to the Medical Hold Unit on Stanley Road near the #BroadwayBank #Broadway #Bank Broadway Bank of which annoyed me as to remembering my maternal biological aunt Eddie as to the male she had married who had disgusted me as to the levels of needless overtly sexualized problems as to when speaking with teenager females, though few had seen what was absolutely wrong as well as vile about the situations at the time. Nothing new sadly for such times, as per the ways which such situations had been regarding several factors.
Later in reference to when at the Lincoln Green apartments and feeling the extremely cold metal on the back of my neck with the odd smell as the metal moved slowly, who is my now dead-ex-husband had informed me that because of my pregnancy if I ran away from him he would chase me down and murder whoever he had to in order to make sure I was where I was told as if I made any attempts to run he would not stop unless he was stopped. There were a few situations additionally to such a point in time later of which I was told to go to the store to get rings to wear for when going to the Justice of the Peace, which I went to a local pawn store because of knowing there was not enough to purchase the types of wedding rings which are meant for those who are in love in such regards as to what I had believed for such portions as to. The situation had been to where the driving of separate cars to arrive at the Justice of the Peace was as it was, and though at such times of which because of not knowing the area I had gotten lost on the way. Although looking back now as to such symbolism, I suppose there is an ironic twist as to having purchased such from a pawn shop in comparison to purchasing such from an actual jeweler.
When my biological mother, biological father, and biological sister arrived a few days later as to having dealt with what it took to get him to call them to speak with those people; instead of paying attention to the details they knew at such times I dealt with their complaints as to the lack of patience they had felt I had in regards as to waiting for their arrival, because why would those people pay attention to the details as to such times as per the situations as to up to those times to begin with as per reviewing such portions at this point in time in the year of 2021? When such length of time to which those people had chosen to listen to their little liar in comparison to paying attention to the truth which I had always spoken, those people made the choices those people had made repeatedly. While I dealt with having to cover up the bruises with the makeup at the time which those people ignored and had not paid attention to as to the length of time it took me as to such aspects back then, it was as it was regarding such aspects as they had been happy to meet who is my now dead-ex-husband as to what they thought was as whatever they thought such as in comparison to what it actually was. However my biological sister being as spoiled rotten of a brat as she had been in those years as to having the nerve to complain to me about how she felt slighted because of her not having been able to be at the wedding while as much makeup as she had to wear for her dance and her pommies when looking at me in my eyes, I still cannot fathom as to how ignorant as to such moments in time as to her having had the nerve to complain to me about such aspects as to the levels of makeup she knew I had not normally worn though chose to continue whining about how she did not get to see the wedding at the Justice of the Peace.
I did not think it took a head injury to figure out how arrogant that had been on her part as to have the nerve and the audacity to complain about the facts of knowing the amount of makeup I had worn in December 2000 compared to prior to the Army, and her ignorance as to the most simple way to see when looking directly at me as to the levels of makeup I had worn at such a time regarding such aspects as to the situations thereof. However for a female such as my biological sister who had enjoyed being with my now dead-ex-husband as well as the facts as to such other aspects and situations thereof, I suppose there should not be the surprise as to such situations despite the amount of times as well as such ironic twists as to the facts as to the lore comparison of which the New Jersey Devil to the state of Texas reference as to how I physically look.
For those who do not know the lore of the New Jersey Devil in brief there is a female who has a child which the child has certain deformities which to most people are such a disfiguring look of which there is a reddened color to the eyes area of which the reddened coloration of such disgusts the townspeople to the point they surround the New Jersey Devil to then push the New Jersey Devil out into the wild because of the lack of concern as to such within the lore, of which the mother to the New Jersey Devil does nothing to help and sits by on the sideline as to wishing for the sooner aspects of such a disappearance though the other aspect is to the lore of which the mother actually has the New Jersey Devil kidnapped and taken away and fully out of sight as to the disgust of the physical portions of which the New Jersey Devil goes and lives wherever as such though the needless problems as to such times because of the physical aspects to which such is viewed at those times as such a disfigurement as to the difficulties to lay eyes upon the ways of which the New Jersey Devil looks in reference to the lore thereof. I suppose in a different reference as to such regards as to the lore thereof, there is a bit of an irony in reference to my performance one year when as the poster girl on the Temple of Flesh flyer of which the individuals made the choice to have the photoshopping of my tattoos out of the poster as to the ways which were explained to me of which the viewpoints had been about females with tattoos; of which is ironic as to the supposedly accepting adult supposed consenting lifestyle as to such aspects, for the facts thereof to compare to the ironic lore thereof as to the lack of concern to the ways of which the townspeople or communities or groups thereof to such aspects of claiming to be accepting and yet showing the lack of acceptance by such choices in such totalities thereof of which only keeping at a distance in comparison to ever drawing closer to only perpetuated such aspects to the lore thereof to which the lack of concern regarding the humanity only had been proven and reproven over such times as to the lack of care in such proper and correct ways thereof.
For example, how did the situations go in reference to my #SCUBA #SCUBADiiving SCUBA Diving? Or how did such aspects go in reference to my Medal of Honor Art Project? What about in reference to my books or my website? What aspects thereof to which the reality as to how such treatment has been towards me before working on my Medal of Honor Art Project, and what aspects thereof could ever show the reality of whether or not there is actual humanity within human beings?
Again the situations of which my Big Blood Brother when we were growing up in New Jersey having more compassion for me than the realities as to my own biological aspects thereof as to such times, truly astonishes me at this point in the year of 2021.
What is progress? Is it not ironic as to the situations regarding the Democratic Party and the claiming of being open and accepting, and yet how has such situations gone in reference to individuals who have voted Democratic over such years and decades? Which individuals of the Democratic Party have shown the truthful portions of being open and honest and accepting, in such comparisons? What is the history of the Democratic party, and what has changed from such times as to the years of the Civil War and the KKK compared to the more recent times? Those people had chosen as they had chosen in such references of which it took over 8 years before they ever realized how abusive the situation was, even though they had literally watched such in person in several situations though I suppose the saying of birds of a feather flock together makes a bit more sense now to such aspects as to how comfortable those people were with that individual comparatively to me as I had not ever felt comfortable enough to such whether in reference to those people as well as in reference to my now dead-ex-husband. Hypothetically as to the amount of situations I dealt with might have something to do with the lack of comfort as to all such situations, as who enjoys being awoken to a firearm within their face or a knife to their throat? I am not one of those individuals, as I personally prefer not to have such situations as I did not need that then as I hope that is fully over regarding all sorts of situations.
By the way, my now dead-ex-husband was a Democrat and voted as such as he told people as he hated the fact I had given people a choice in comparison to only making them view one way only.
Though my biological sister had her trists with my now dead-ex-husband as to the years of such as to before they had moved from Illinois to Texas though more-so after they had moved from Illinois to Texas as per her request to be closer to my house in San Antonio, while my biological mother and my biological father had not paid attention to the details back then at such times; I would not be surprised if at a point they finally realized my biological sister had been sleeping with my now dead-ex-husband for several years before his death, and the facts of the fetish of hers to sleep with married individuals in comparison to staying out of others’ relationships can be proven in reference to the dance company she had once been a part of which had been near the house in San Antonio which my biological mother and my biological father had purchased as to the neighbor across the street having discussed such details as to the numbers of individuals my biological sister met in the front yard with kisses and hugs when she spoke with me in such comparisons to shaking hands or just a small hug in such comparisons to the viewpoints thereof. The sanctity of marriage was not in her eyes for any such points in time, as per other discussions which included the portions of which the time after she began high school at McHenry High School in San Antonio as to the two males she had over our biological parents’ house during the bridge loan point in time.
However how I could not complain as to the fact of what I personally believed for such as to marriage had not been sanctified nor had it been holy nor had it ever been needed, as that was not a marriage beyond only being in the ways of only a legal portion as to the lack of any free will as to actual choice as well as the only love that was involved was in reference to the aspects to the love for my son #Letters4James and the love for my daughter #Letters4Lidia to keep them safe. Then again as to such comments by others, what has their opinion been as to my physical look as to such aspects? I repeat the portions of which I have brought forward previously in reference to Carrollton Texas area as to the situations in reference to their publicly shown as well as to my face comments as to my physical appearance as to my tattoos as well as my hair, though such portions of which to my tattoos as they have been considered as disfigurements to the reasons thereof are of the ADA compliance aspects as to not only the after effects of my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury though also all of the abuses I have personally dealt with as to such reasons thereof. If such individuals within that McCoy Elementary School of Carrollton Farmers Branch Independent School District have ever had one individual who has ever been in any type of abusive relationship how dare you have the nerve to ever judge me for anything, and how dare any of you judge me for raising my children as best as I possibly could as per what I have seen as to such aspects; where have you actually gotten such aspects correct and why would you ever think you knew better than I had, for my own children when you had refused as to such times to pay attention to the truth and the details thereof. I did not think it took a head injury to figure out if those people had not been as judgmental as they were as to the racist factors of only voting for POTUS44 as per their own words of only because he was a black male or referencing to the African American portion, I repeat it is racist to only vote for someone because they are African American or whatever ethnic background as to my opinion; as you should be voting upon the situations and the actual issues which actually impact your location in comparison to just because of a skin color or an ethnic background as the actual background of such work is of extreme importance in my opinion.
However I refused to ever allow myself to ever be in such a position again as to the aspects as best as I could prevent such, as I refused to ever deal with such abuses from any of those people as well as any of those types of people as best as I possibly could as there was not any reason good enough nor any type of excuse which would be considered as acceptable nor any cause which I would find to be of worth to ever allow such for myself again. I vowed to myself in the years prior to my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury of only being involved with a specific type of marriage in such regards as to willingness after listening to my biological mother and my biological father try to plan for me to meet people, which I refused to ever allow such aspects as I did not ever trust their ideas as to what they viewed as safe as while my biological sister might have been willing to go along with such there was going to be a full refusal as to any such trying of any such aspect as to the facts. I knew I would not in the year of 1996 I made the choice to not ever allow such to be for myself as I wanted to ensure what was best for me, in comparison to what those people wished.
I knew I required a genuine and truthful with sincere real love in such comparisons to what those people had as while I knew there was business aspects, I also knew there were ways to actually be in a relationship of such types with actualities of genuinity in comparison to what I was seeing as I had thought such situations as to the old world times had already gone and passed by though upon seeing such situations as to when I was in New Jersey; I ran down the stairs after hearing such from the area by the grate, and informed them of my full refusal to their wishes as I was not going to deal with what those people were wishing for such. I had already worked to get into #MAST Marine Science Technology School with the Navy attachment and since I had actually earned my way, I refused to allow my biological sister’s inadequacies of intellect and ability ever stop me as I knew better than what was assumed which the full refusal was always going to be in such references as they continued to try to push me I only refused with more strength of which I knew there would be the day which they would deal with admitting the full defeat of their wishes as I was not ever going to go along with such and they would learn there would be nothing which they would ever be able to do which I would ever be as the ways as to my biological sister. I found such ironic as to our biological father having said he did not send my biological sister to be the best little whore in Texas, though in such timeframes of that phone call around the year of 2003 just before going to #FWTX #FortWorth #FtWorth #FortWorthTX #FtWorthTX #FortWorthTexas #FtWorthTexas Fort Worth Texas to visit with my now ex-in-laws.
However such aspects are viewed as to such situations from my experiences as to specific individuals in the area, is however such is reviewed as to such aspects thereof to my biological father’s comment of what he had said he had not sent his daughter to the state of Texas for. Which daughter when taking into consideration numbers, I suppose is open to interpretation.
The realities of learning what the term for the meaning of abuse only came after getting involved with the #SAPagan San Antonio Pagan community as to the definition of such not having ever been brought up to me after having woken up from my coma from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury of which a female who was around my height, longer darker brown curly hair, broader shoulders, and lighter skin complexion had brought up however even though that female had explained what abuse was it was not as though she actually had anything to assist regarding any such actual help as she had brought up being in college and upon hearing such I did not want to have anything to do with those types of situations as to what had already occurred by such a point in time. I saw how those college students thought that just because they were in a school they thought they had the rights which they did not ever actually have as they wished that because they were in college they could experiment on the military individuals throughout San Antonio as to various discussions I had overheard in the San Antonio Pagan community though not the only location within the state of Texas, of which I refused to accept any such terms when at random times offered such.
Personally I could not see any benefits of which were ever going to be of any worth or value as to their types of works as I only saw how they would fail as well as how they would only cause more problems than they would ever know what to do to fix and repair such situations, to which I would eventually do everything to avoid all such types of those types of people at all costs as there was not ever going to be anything of value which would stem from such types of individuals as their failures to ever correctly be taught the proper protocols for medical research were abundantly able to be seen and their lack of intelligence to actually correctly take care of individuals seemed quite evident as to such times as they only seemed to try to say others were doing exactly what they were going to do in such comparisons as they only seemed to care about themselves in comparison to caring about what they claimed was what they were going to medical aspects for such as the psychological aspects as they seemed to only put people through what they had been through instead of reflecting on their own problems to see what they could have done to fix and repair the situations themselves and thus only becoming exactly what they claimed they had wanted to stop.
While I remember telling that particular female she needed to be careful because if she did not she would become just as abusive as the individuals she had claimed were as to such regarding other people she had discussed, as she had name dropped what multitudes of situations which she had seen within the timeframe of the last three months prior to my arrival in the community. When I asked how she could bring such up to the individuals over such a three month time, she had said she had joined the Pagan community for that reason in such comparisons to ever actually having any spiritual connections as to any such aspects thereof. I could see what Captain Morning had brought forward in several discussion points as to the civilian sector as to what he had pointed out within the military at Fort Sam Houston as to the different situations thereof, to which the aspects of which seemed important as to taking care of to correctly clear the situations out from such aspects to be able to actually move forward in comparison to swirling around in circles and only repeating history as to such as I had seen; however how few ever believed me over such years would possibly be less than the number of people I personally lost in reference to the attacks to the #WTC #WorldTradeCenter World Trade Center in the year of 1993 as I know the facts in reference to the larger numbers as to who I lost personally in an overall sort of way as to the attacks on 11 September 2001, however that situation is a much different aspect obviously.
Nonetheless as to the situations which the individuals who are my biological mother, biological father, and biological sister there are ironies as to the facts of which the abuse awareness month being in the month of October as to my biological father and my biological sister though the ironic portions of my biological mother and my now dead-ex-husband having birthdays in the same month of March only a few days apart from one another just a six month timeframe of difference for however such a viewpoint thereof as to the numerical portions of the prior reference as to finding the number six in odd ways as to the references over one another to a more recent posting if I remember correctly as to 14 or 15 October 2021 though additionally such ironies as to the band which my now dead-ex-husband had liked and thought was a good band to introduce to which my biological mother, my biological sister, and my biological father could possibly see as to how such a song of which could apply to them as to what he had informed as to what they had been discussing as to various portions of what they had been a part of and why I would always fully refuse anyone those people would ever try to send to me as to such references from the discussions thereof. When I was told as to the last name portion of which to my Maiden last name as well as what would have been done to me by them as to my choice to defend my son and defend my daughter while defending myself, I knew those people had not ever changed and those people were only needing to be stopped fully as those types of situations and those types of choices were not ever going to be useful any further as to other such situations as I had seen which would only cause needless furthered problems.
Whether some believe it or not as to those types of people of which instead of ever allowing the human race to actually advance upward and onward, those types of marriage situations do not assist as much as some have thought as to such because there actually has to be genuine and real love as well as genuine and real concern as to such portions for the realities thereof. When taking into consideration as to the fact as to having been a tomboy when growing up and not being interested in any sort of relationship in those sorts of ways as to the fact of which I simply could not ever see any such value to love or any such need for the aspects thereof despite others claiming they knew what love was in such regards while watching their marriages crumble before them, I knew better and I knew if there actually was such a thing as real love there would be the ability to actually work with one another as well as be in such an actuality of such aspects of what I had thought of would be considered as actual real and genuine love. I could not ever see anyone finding true love in such ways as when before actually being within a career as to the ways of which school changed people in my opinion as to classes and experiences thereof, I saw how interests would vary depending upon circumstances and timeframes, as well as I saw how the requirement of knowing oneself was of extreme value and importance thereof; thus in such references as to such, I simply could not believe there was ever going to be any worth to those types of situations of such arrangements without the ability for the actualities of what would be best known between such two interested individuals upon such aspects thereof.
Despite the tomboy aspects I did hold out hope for love at first sight when in person, though I knew better than to hold my breath for such aspects as it seemed a far fetched idea when I thought about such aspects back in New Jersey as well as Illinois before waking up in Texas as getting to re-review such aspects for myself personally. Then again as to such aspects of whether or not to believe in actual justice is a different situation of which in a similar aspect as to such portions, I learned long ago not to hold my breath for such aspects as to the ways which my life has been up to such a point thus far as to the realities of which such aspects have been as such aspects have been.
Thus the combined portions of which what levels of abuses I have dealt with and the jokes as to others of which calling me as to the nickname of Victim of Child Abuse as to the levels thereof since I was a child in New Jersey and onward of which in reference to others as well as myself, there has been the lack of belief in any such portions of genuinity regarding real justice in such aspects as to the ways which such has been over the decades for me as well as others because of the ways as to the so-called aspects of #nochildleftbehind no child left behind in such regards as to later times thereof. While I could be inaccurate as to my lack of faith in the justice system up to this point in time in such references, I have not been shown any such portions of which by the ways of how I had believed such would actually be as possibly I just listened to a little bit too much of #Matlock Matlock television when I was in fifth grade to which possibly the situations thereof simply were just as fictional as to such situations in the show thereof as to the ways of which the majority of times as to the justice actually occurring in such comparisons to what was later seen in reference to the show of #LawandOrder Law and Order to the percentages thereof for actual justice for the situations thereof.
However in the references as to the situations regarding such aspects as to the ways of which what others throughout the state of Texas had been told of in the various times and ways thereof, I had also put such details minimally online as to the timeframes when I was kept locked away as to the minimal aspects as to being let outside as to such points back in those years. While some might view such portions as to the lack of normalcy for them, you must take into consideration as to Medical Hold Unit as to the times before ever being taken off of post and then review such portions as I would guesstimate such would have such a length of time for such situations thereof for such reviewals as to the aspects thereof to what once was as to what had been later as to such portions regarding San Antonio though also in reference to #WA #Washington #WAstate #Washingtonstate Washington as well as upon returning to the state of Texas in the year of 2019 through to the transfer situation out of the state of Texas in the year of 2021 and such situations since then as to the facts thereof as to what viewpoints of such to review in regards to anyone who would think as to which in reference to the aspects as to the spiritual aspects as to my now dead-ex-husband as to such treatments as to thereof for such aspects to look at upon such review portions.
In the ways of which the denial of medical care when I have needed such aspects, the abuses thereof as to the raised levels of pain needlessly, the experiments upon me only because of such situations being different in comparison to ever treating me as a human being, and etcetera regarding such situations as to whether or not such individuals hypothetically could ever review themselves as actual human beings or if in such regards as to other such portions thereof. It is an irony as to how many civilians who have said they hated the military and then when taking certain portions into consideration as to the ways of which such micromanaged controlling of time aspects as well as situations thereof to such micromanagement as well as treatments and/or lack thereof, I wonder if there has been the point of which such individuals have realized as to how they turned out exactly as the situations to which they claimed to have hated for such lengths of time in the regards thereof to such aspects while claiming as to themselves being better than I; when I have not ever done such aspects to anyone despite the false accusations as to whichever individuals thereof, as the only experiments/research I had done was in reference to the suggestions as to the breast cancer research I came up with around 2 decades ago.
However once again, that is two decades ago and my memory deficits are what my memory deficits are.
In the references of which such individuals I once knew who claimed they hated the military, has there ever been any biological warfare in such references as to the medical research on individuals without their consent to have such as a review for such regards as to whether or not those individuals became exactly as they claimed to have hated of the military? Has there ever been any denial tactics used for any such medical and/or social aspects and/or etcetera as to Basic Training and/or AIT and/or other scenarios, while their claims as to having hated the military as well as the ways thereof to when if situations are not completed as preferred as to such repetitions as to the claims of which to hate the military and yet the ways of which the military makes such individuals repeat such until what specifics thereof; while such civilians I have met have claimed to have more intelligence as well as more compassion than such military individuals, I have much more doubt now as to such aspects among the civilian as well as the military sectors as to the ways of which such situations have been as to such times thereof. While I would like to believe otherwise, since such situations have gone as they have and there has not actually been any such justice as to the ways of which I would recognize such justice; I have yet to find anything to actually believe in regarding the ways of such as to so-called human beings, as such types of human beings seem more similar to robots in comparison to ever being anything remotely close to what a description of human beings would in such to my opinion would be and is.
Then again, in such common sense aspects I have learned as to my joke such is a superpower as to common sense as to correctly taking care of situations for the betterment in comparison to the ways of which such situations have been and have gone over such amounts of time. It only has been 21 years since the initial portions thereof and what justice has actually occurred in my favor? Well, since I am writing as to such aspects without bringing forward any references to justice and thus the aspects as to the lack of common sense to such situations would be able to be seen I suppose.
Though I had explained to people as to my tattoos as to assisting my memory deficits and the lack of belief in me as to such reasons combined, again to the fact of common sense for such regards as to while I do have to actually look at my tattoos for the reasons of such memory aspects; I did not think it took a head injury to figure out there are reasons why I would have to look at such for myself, though does not and did not ever have any such intention for anyone else who I did not ever invite to look at such beyond only the pictures of which the pictures are good enough in comparison to such needless stalking and needless harassment as the fact of which my tattoos are my tattoos and no one else’s as each can get their own tattoos in comparison to bothering me and annoying me as to such portions thereof. Due to such problematic situations as to the ways thereof I have felt the need to fully cover such portions as much as possible because of the lack of any such comfort regarding the ways of such arrogances and annoyances as I do not feel comfortable being looked at with such regards as to my tattoos as aside from the fact of looking as I do, I personally find it to be abusive and offensive to have such situations going on as to already having informed of such reasons to begin with had to do with the memory to not allow myself to go through needless abuses and to ever have the recognition of such portions as to the ways of which others would think they would ever have such a right as to such though would not ever have such a right to such; would in turn only mean the ways of which I would see such in any such regard would only be in such ways as to the abusive portions as to such stalking aspects as to the viewpoints thereof because of the facts of which it is known each of my tattoos are for my memory of which why is my memory as it is? Does it take a head injury to figure out my head injury after effects are the reasons as to why I had begun my tattoos to begin with and the fact of such staring would in turn mean staring at my scars from my life experiences without my permission to which would only repeat the viewpoints of which such aspects to which my personal requirement for my own privacy aspects would be required for such, or does it take a head injury to figure that out?
Does it take a head injury to figure out when I wrote of such annoyances of other people asking me about my tattoos in reference to both “Finding A Silver Lining By: Susan MeeLing” and “Finding The Silver Lining By: Susan MeeLing” as to the annoyances of such as well as the explanations of such reasons in turn would only mean if you were to only stare at me because of my tattoos, I would only see you in the light of which was abusive in such references because of the reasons why I had to get them to begin with? Should it take a head injury to figure out the fact I had to get such tattoos to begin with to stop such problems as to my now dead-ex-husband as to such portions of which any such stalking and harassment as to see my tattoos without my permission would only be seen by me as to such similar attributes of which only would needlessly be as abusive in such comparisons, due to my reasons as to the facts as to the original purposes for the overall aspects thereof?
How can such reviews as to the month of October as to the abuse survivor awareness month be considered with such aspects to ponder of, and what would the possibilities be referencing such views as to justice for what occurred in reference to what I have personally dealt with in such regards as to such combinations thereof I dealt with?
