Days 25 and 26 of 60 Days of Thanks Challenge

The Passport Stamp from when I went to my 1st Ocean SCUBA Dives in 2009

After the situations which have occurred in reference to not only my SCUBA Diving certifications of which on that particular trip I was earning my 24th and 25th SCUBA Diving certifications through PADI as per my SCUBA Diving requirements for myself, which it took a point of which I had made it where I personally had to complete 100 SCUBA Dives in the fresh water compared to salt water for such a type of SCUBA Diving. I have had a particular requirement for myself of which my standards are extremely high and the portions of which my personal requirements which I had told my son #Letters4James and my daughter #Letters4Lidia if they were able to get to SCUBA Diving, I would hold them to a like standard for the amount of required types of SCUBA Dives prior to allowing them to look at which place we would go in the oceanic waters for such work. However since situations went as they had, those minimum of 75 SCUBA Dives were not met prior to the required time for other aspects, due to the problems which occurred in reference to the lack of acknowledgement in the ways which would have been done at the time if I had either been in a relationship with an individual who would have actually bee proud to stand with me while acknowledging my accomplishments or if quite simply if I had been a male and accomplished as I had. I cannot view it any other way as per the amount of time which has gone by and continued, yet no one has had any inclination to ever simply ask me the truth after informing and proving as to who and why such information would be required.

I told people about various aspects in reference to specific portions, and yet it seemingly has not been as important to some in comparison as because of what occurred to my son and my daughter after the SCUBA Diving situation at the USS/USNS General Hoyt S. Vandenberg, as it did not kick into full gear until that September in 2009; after the ending of a fling which the individual who refused to acknowledge ever being involved with me back then when in 2009, and still had refused to acknowledge such with the exception of possibly running his mouth in the wrong ways as to how later I dealt with situations because of that type of motorcycle attitude of the older individuals from how it seems. Do males and/or females understand a thou shalt not lie, for any reason from that situation? What did it matter then or now compared to what I went through previously as such truthfully was no different than what I dealt with prior to ever getting into SCUBA Diving officially, and though some were told of what I survived and endured; what did it matter to such individuals, as I have seen as of this point from those I once knew and actually had looked up to? Though I guess I can make a joke about such additionally as for each SCUBA Diver who was in the area when I went SCUBA Diving where I had, I actually had no choice other than to look up to you. If you think about that from a child's perspective, the same can be said in quite a few ways in addition to always looking upward at any SCUBA Diver including Instructors as none ever landed when I landed at the bottom of the ocean at the deepest points thereof. Sure in 2 particular areas 2 different SCUBA Divers landed near the area where I had, though the change of elevation when moving with the oceanic current brought such levels to a different level of the water compared to where I had gone. Knowing both individuals had cameras when SCUBA Diving meant the levels of what I do needed to be more specific, and I already had been taught what to do in such situations as those who actually know and understand certain aspects about the female genetically biologically born in reference to SCUBA Diving as well as the water overall. Males born in America who have not traveled to such areas consistently where females are regarded with respect for such work, would overlook such and consider an American born female to be less of a SCUBA Diver automatically. Look at the messages sent between such individuals whether through their emails, text messages, pagers, phone calls, computer documents, discussions when in front and/or around recording devices, and more for such sorts of truth. From the earlier times for such messages to look for such, you will find more along the way about more than those particular situations as has already been learned and seen for certain aspects.

Nonetheless the shallowest set of SCUBA Dive I had completed in the oceanic waters when in the region of the Gulf of Mexico where that particular SCUBA Diver I had discussed and written about previously had acknowledged catching a baby Poufy Fish after admitting to having moved my SCUBA Dive gear as well as having admitted going through my SCUBA Diving bag and using my SCUBA Diving camera and more back in 2009, as well as in 2019 when up in Washington state and visiting me. If he remembered I had sent messages via texts and phone calls while in the midst of my fist and only family vacation with my son, my daughter, and my niece; though realistically my first family vacation with my son and my daughter, as just their Mom. After everything that I survived and endured to keep as many safe as possible the only time of ever being able to simply just be for a single family vacation, and there was nothing except pain and heartbreak additionally to what I had already endured just to keep them and I safe because no one believed me then; until years passed by and then, possibly a glimmer of which sparked the realization. When that occurred of such a realization, how much more did I endure and survive?

There are certain aspects of which only I had undertaken and made sure was squared away properly and yet, of those few specific and minute aspects which were and are extremely important; seemingly as per what has been seen, possibly the need for the additional proof because apparently for some there was not enough to prove my innocence and my truth, there above is the passport which had been used for the trip then. As I would guess most locations change out the stamp to move the date section and/or because of international travel they may have a specific shade of color per stamp per hour per day depending on the level of what is in the area such as a preserve, possibly the same way the Texas Aquarina Hot Springs is about SCUBA Diving in reference to the area because of the endangered species in those particular areas.

Ironically enough there had been a male in my Underwater Naturalist class and certification who had gone to the class from the same school I was attending, International SCUBA in Carrollton at the time. Looking back one particular male had reminded me of an individual when I was in #CrystalLake Illinois which I had partially told my biological parents about, though later another aspect when seeing him again. I had gone out with either Melody or Christina to drive around to go towards #ColonialCafe after bowling when an older male had kicked my driver's side window in the parking lot and yelled at me for no reason other than driving through the parking lot, and with a White 1993 Honda Civic I had just paid for from the Jim M'Lady Oldsmobile/Isuzu/Mazda dealership as a receptionist as my biological parents had to put the registration in their name because of being 16 years old at the time; a random older male walked up and kicked the window, yelling at me for something I cannot remember nor understand from the memory I do have. Then later when driving to Colonial Cafe a different night area a male with a darker colored Ford Mustang newer model for the timeframe in the 1998/1999 year, had kicked the window in the same area of that car in the parking lot when I told him something he did not like about me. In both situations, both males were knocked backwards which made the other passenger and I laugh each time; however I laughed for a very different set of reasons, because I saw. I was always precautious as much as possible to take care of my vehicles' maintenance properly and after the situation with the van prior, I did everything I could to ensure the proper care as best as possible. Not one vehicle I have ever driven has had major problems occur from me however because of others, I cannot say the same thing. I have made jokes to some who did not understand such references apparently, though it is what it is ironically a bit too late at this point for such clarifications as to who.

The male who was driving the Ford Mustang who kicked the window in the parking lot later arrived with his Mom at the car dealership I worked in the office for at the time, and he recognized me whereas I did not recognize him because of focusing on the organization for the filing cabinet at the time. The office staff had needed the jacket folders organized in numerical order as there were problems with the way some previously had put the file folders back into the cabinets when he showed up at the front window, with his Mom. As a clarification, I did organize the file folders and I did not allow anyone into the back office who did not have a job at the location who was not previously informed to me who was allowed to be in the office area as to who I was told who was and was not allowed in the back. I do not know where other entrances to that office area could have been as I remember a few times turning around to see the Finance Manager in the office, though I was unable to figure out which area he came into the office area from. I know there were other entrances to the office where I worked in, though because of knowing certain doors belonged to the owner I refused to walk into the office without knowing he was there and without having already gotten the go ahead if I was asked to speak with him. I did speak with him when he walked through the office a few times, though I simply kept to the work that was needed at the time because of how disorganized all of the files and folders were. I asked one of the females about why the papers in the files sometimes did not match the numbers or the names, which I was told that was not considered as important to what they were doing in the office who had desks in the area. There was another female named Susan in the office though I was in high school and she was working there for a longer amount of time closer to Jim M'Lady's office (the last name is pronounced: Mah-La-d-ee and not pronounced a different way) which when I had answered the phone in the office one day when he was walking in the office, he walked over to me asking me if I was related because of my pronunciation of the last name correctly. I answered honestly telling him I did not know because of not knowing the extended bloodline, which he and I spoke for awhile. Later I was asked to babysit his youngest son at the time in I think at the time was his elementary school, which we got along and he talked with me about different aspects of his life.

I remember one day when arriving early as per my normal to babysit, Mr. M'Lady had asked me to walk outside with him on his back patio to look at the pool which had been freshly reshaped. I asked if I could ask him an honest question which I knew I was uncertain how he would take such a question from someone such as myself as I saw more than some realized I saw, which he was okay towards. I asked him why he chose to spend the money to completely reshape the pool, move the ground, relocate-ish some trees, remove other areas, and several other portions to the construction around the way the shape of the pool was as the elevation levels I was looking at seemed as though the ground beneath was needing a bit of assistance prior to the reshaping of the land. I think now he may have misunderstood my question as I had made a comment of there would have been better areas he could have used that money to not have to repair a large number of problems I saw from the grading levels while looking on the patio, which I did not babysit much longer after that; though was shortly after the situation with his eldest son teaching me how to shift a manual transmission in the 1993 Honda Civic around the parking lot of the dealership, which his son was surprised how quickly I picked up the footwork as well as the shifting requirements for the vehicle. I remember whenever I drove off of the parking lot with his son in the passenger seat there were 3 people to the right side of the parking lot exit which were walking towards the area, who stopped walking when I pulled the car to the intersection area. I know I saw one looking through a bag when I was checking to see the clearness of the ability to turn which when I pushed the accelerator the jump was a bit much which caused the male to laugh, though comment about how I needed to ease up on the gas which I told him I felt I could not allow that. I shifted quickly from 1st into 3rd gear because of the slow kick up, and turned the corner quickly to get to the next intersection to go through the green light prior to the turn to yellow as I saw a car turn out from the left side when I took off from the dealership. In comparison to the turning in the different areas he made a comment about how quickly I turned the car around the corners and who I was cutting off while I saw in the rear view mirror, what seemed familiar to other times when I was younger growing up in New Jersey and going places; which seemed needing to speed up a bit faster, despite the amount of 25 and 30 mile per hour zones. After getting back to the dealership he mentioned how he had not felt such a rush with someone else driving, which I simply left such alone at that point as it did not feel appropriate for the situation.

After had been the bowling alley in the nearby area parking lot, which was around the time of the Ford Mustang in a different parking lot; which lead up to the point of the male who had driven the darker colored Ford Mustang; though it could have been the new Camaro at the time, because of how closely the body styles were when that time of revamping the body styles to the more rounded edges and jelly bean type of bubbled looks which were coming out compared to prior older models of vehicles. That male who had kicked the window of my driver's side door and bounced backwards with his Mom was standing in front of the desk, when I took care of such paperwork to then later be asked by him if I remembered him. I told him I did not initially because of how much work I was doing in reference to the entire filing system behind the desk to my left shoulder and the confusion of the paperwork within the packets, when he asked me why I did not remember him as he thought he had left enough of an impression. I did not know what he meant initially as again, I as at work taking care of extremely important paperwork for my bosses as I was asked by the two females with desks to take care of the folders as they did not want the other females to do that work as well as the owner himself. The male was insulted at first I had not remembered him while I was at work, which then his Mom was confused as to how I could not remember her son. When I looked up and stopped focusing on the paperwork for her car as well as the other work to the side, I remembered and told her what her son did to my car. She looked towards him asking if it was true and he simply shrugged his shoulders and gave some explanation to her she seemingly heard from him before, when she asked if I would go out with her son and his friend to clear up the situation as she knew her son would know to be more respectful,

That is up to the point my biological parents were informed of in reference to the various aspects in regards of Illinois, which I was told not to worry despite the feelings I was picking up. I was told there was no big deal about anything to worry about, and they thought I was being oversensitive and overdramatic about the feelings; as they were still refusing to listen to me about my nightmare, and my plans to get out of their grasp to be able to handle what actually needed to be done as per what I had seen in visions so-to-write. Instead of going to work a bit on what I needed to do for my life path, I again was ignored as per similarities regarding my SCUBA Diving which they were informed as to what my SCUBA Diving certification work had been during such times referring to my certifications only. They were not ever told of my SCUBA Diving training, nor was anyone else. No one officially knew what I was working on, as it was none of their business at the times both literally and figuratively as well as metaphorically.

Back in 1999 when I did agree to meet with that male and his friend without telling anyone except the females I knew and mentioned, I met up with the two males unknowing there was going to be a second individual there at the time. That particular individual I had gotten along with in comparison because of the attitude and composure during the evening which we went to dinner, then drove around Crystal Lake and #BullValley because the son of the Mom who had wanted to try to scare me with ghost stories and driving around. I was told of some scary place with a bunch of different colored lights where people would go to do ritualistic stuff, though he knew nothing beyond such. He tried scaring me by telling me if you turn off the car lights in an area where there are no street lamps, the street would be darker. I thought he was joking when he did not realize that was the source of the light which made the streets darker at night, and he was upset I was laughing because of being confused as to how he could not figure that out. Apparently, that was insulting to him then.

Now, I did not think it took a head injury to figure out that when driving down a street without street lights if you turn off the lights to your car the street will be darker. I think my words were probably kinder, back in 1999.

However he was surprised I was not scared of the dark, yet he was scared later that night as well as surprised. I explained my background referencing Old Tennent Presbyterian Church and the grounds to explain a few reasons as to why additionally, I was not scared. The male in the back area and I had gotten along far better mainly because of the seemingly genuine lack of arrogance at the time among a few other factors, which quite simply boils down to a snack occurring and then later in the evening going back. Nothing more than a quick feeding I suppose is the proper terminology, of which I admit because of certain other aspects I can joke I had left my mark quite clearly of having been there as they ate. I was ready to go once they had a small feast, and then went on my way afterwards.

However the other aspects in reference to going on with time later on towards such a point, is a bit of additional irony as later I met an individual when he was working as a manager at NTB in Carrollton Texas near my house prior to beginning to date and then engagement later after over a year and a half of having gone to. During the first date where he drove his car and I listened to the way the tires moved along the ground and the feeling of the axle areas jiggling, I asked about how he took care of his car. He told me he would purchase a particular box of oil to take to a mechanic location to hand over the filter with the oil to haggles the price per hour of the cost because of the labor involved, which I warned him against doing. He told me he knew how to work in the industry which I knew he did not know how to do so simply because of that one choice which he defended doing so, which made little sense to me as the reality of what areas would be open to fully access in the area would be easy for an angered mechanic being told about the haggling which occurred inside prior to picking up the car to take into the garage area. He told me there was nothing to worry about, and I told him he needed to be more aware of his surroundings. He did not understand why I pointed to where he worked to know what I meant about how he treated others at other locations, which he did not see what I had meant at the time. He joked about that a time or two at the NTB in the back part closer to the Walmart store area, which I told him to be careful as he did not see the males in the garage who turned around to see and though I thought initially it was because of working on whichever car they were working on it had meant that in comparison. Later after he left NTB he told me there was an audit which was going to begin of that location and he did not care about the audit because the company would deal with it, which I told him he needed to go clarify paperwork. I told him how much work it took to organize the filing system at the car dealership just before the situation in reference to Bull Valley including all details, which he did not see any connection points I had been attempting to correlate at the time.

He thought it was just a coincidental point to make, which I told him it did not seem to feel as such. Later when he was going to go to the Army which was after having began the paperwork for what I was told about in reference to the audit, I warned him previously of other additional aspects to the tires. I told him I heard clicking in the front driver's side area underneath the seat sometimes, I felt a rattling in the steering wheel when lightly touching the wheel to feel the alignment and vibrational patterns, as well as I could hear a clog in the engine area when he drove the car only after a certain amount of time driving which he told me it was only because of it being a new car. I told him a new car should be doing better than the feelings I had when driving as well as being a passenger though he did not see, any of my reference points. As he left the car with me and as I had previously driven the car when he was still in Texas prior to him leaving for Basic Training, I asked what the limitations were because I knew I felt something. He told me as long as I did not crash the car, as long as I did not roll the car over, as long as I did not dent the car, as long as I did not scratch the car paint, as long as I did not damage the interior of the car, and as long as I did not drive his car into anything to hit then there were no limitations.

I asked repeatedly to make sure because of reminding him of what I had felt, which he smiled and said "Sure, honey."

I kept his car on the left side of the driveway as I felt it would be a good angle for the different cameras in the car to be able to watch that angle of the coldesac, as I had an odd feeling. I parked my cars on the right side and when I felt and/or I heard something especially if Zippy made a noise and not from touching the alarm, I would look over the car to then look over towards his car and see a slight blip of a blink of light. I could not see which angle it came from though it was different than the little nob in the front dashboard area of the car, and I would on average take that car for a drive because I saw or sensed something off. One time when I opened the car door I heard the lock mechanism make a sound, though it did not move the button in the car in any direction other than unlocked though already was because of the key fab a few times almost as though the car knew the difference between him driving and me driving. There was a burning smell which seemed odd because it did not make sense for the sound additionally several different times, though I did not understand nor did I see anything when looking around to find out what the source of was. A few times there was a popping sound in the front part of the engine closer to the bumper area about halfway down the block which seemed weird, though when pulling over there was nothing wrong with the car even during. In some ways almost similar to the Yukon and the checking of the oil type of sound and pop made; though the sensor was there in 2018 compared to then in 2010 to his car, and there were far more problems comparatively.

As that male knew about my SCUBA Diving in certain regards and was excited to speak with me when I walked in though honestly, I thought it was simply because of being a customer compared to anything else. I remembered how excited I was when I had employment and the ability to work a consistent schedule even after waking up from the coma after my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury, as I did try to explain better to people as to the after effects as clearly as I could attempt. There were situations which the lack of understanding at the time especially in 2000 and 2001 in the civilian sector as to anything in reference to as they thought I just had headaches, and they knew someone with headaches. There were those who thought I just had migraines and did not consider the fact of having both, because a headache and a migraine are not a whole head sort of pain each and every time. There were those who thought I was just a ditz because of my memory issues and cognitive disorders, while not taking into consideration the prior aspects. There were those who paid attention that I could not get into college, though paid no attention to anything else I had done or spoke of or wrote of previously to any of such situations; and thus by the time of SCUBA Diving, I actually was not surprised as to the lack of a response as to what I had done back then by some SCUBA Divers. However similarly to growing up in New Jersey and having annoyed the Sesame Place Oscar the Grouch when a child which at the time that character had told me to scram, though there is an additional reference to trash cans and disposal systems of which I had not only been around and seen in New Jersey; though also in New York, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Maryland, and etcetera depending upon which business was needing to be taken care of back in the 1980s and 1990s. There is a twist of irony in such when some might recall a better perception when taking such a specific set of idioms into additional consideration as to another way I knew, something seemed a bit too odd for such a location and place for a dumpster and type thereof among several other aspects pointed out previously for such an odd and yet specific reference.

When what occurred had occurred and I had no one to speak with in regards of the after portions of the SCUBA Diving as no one specifically asked me questions about anything regarding my actual SCUBA Diving as each only looked at whatever they looked at until whenever they realized from the pictures what possibilities, though still have yet to ever be asked about such because of whatever aspects whomever else knows in comparison to what occurred.

I do not doubt from others the wishing for my death while not thinking about anything beyond whatever their gain would have been or nuisance of a problem with my simple existence after such a set of types of SCUBA Dives, as quite frankly I posted the pictures thinking if anyone actually had a question about my work they would have enough etiquette to ask in comparison as to what occurred. My SCUBA Diving gear as I had posted about in reference to the UHAUL posting on fetlife is where my SCUBA Diving gear was, and yet nothing in reference to the questions which should have by protocol standards have been asked before the beginning of 2010 by the local/state/federal officials about that and without such the choice of what I had to do because of the failures within the system to properly take care of and assess the situation at the time as needed accurately without bias went as it had. To this day I still have yet to be asked about and while the aspects in part of what was written where piecing some portions together out of order, still does not actually answer questions of which I have not been asked and have no actual need to explain without an actual justification as to such at this point as has been proven to me for such the length of time in reference to the amount of such. Not forgetting everything else needlessly added to what I was already dealing with, though since the situations were as they were obviously it was thought the least of me was worth nothing in conjunction by the viewpoints I heard and was told; ironically by the one who actually had been told more than anyone, yet I am as I am.

In such a time thereafter in reference to taking care of the car left in my care, I was not told as to what occurred when my biological parents were at my house with the individual who had asked about mentorship and friendship in comparison to what I presume was assumed about me. Not forgetting that additional aspect of if an individual ironically with the same name and different spelling yet older if such had told the SCUBA Diving community back then of the truth without the biases and then had actually spoken with me about such in comparison to throwing a tantrum about me moving on from an unestablished less than 2 full months relationship, a set of another times the SCUBA Diving community could have actually had explanations and yet because of the choices prior to later on when I was engaged the first time to another who I knew of longer as well as discussed with by over 1.5 years prior to dating or an engagement; I had informed him also of my lifestyle and modeling well before ever being asked out on a date, if his family did not know then. Though, you know.

Nonetheless after being engaged the first time which was after the October 2009 meeting at the BBQ place after the SCUBA Dives in the ocean during the months of June and August 2009 with that SCUBA Diver as the dating began in December 2009, the SCUBA Diver community could have had answers then though also if such were not hidden in shame then there would not have been such in reference to problems as per the picture below which shows the length of time from the beginning-ish area of the passport photo to the picture when I was at the USS/USNS General Hoyt S. Vandenberg for the reference point of official time to be seen. Who was anyone to ever deny me of the work I had done, out of curiosity?

The date format: Year, Month, Day 24 Hour timeframe for hours

The SCUBA Diving style of mine is what it is as I was taught how to swim differently by my upbringing as the YMCA would have noticed in reference to my swimming lessons, after I had already been swimming in the oceanic waters along the Atlantic coastline as taught to me in other ways absolutely not seen at the YMCA in Freehold New Jersey. By then, I was already swimming in the ocean for more than 4-5 years and thus honed my skills and was only working on perfecting what I needed when later times would need for such as I knew was needed from the nightmare I was having. It is what it is in reference to several other aspects however the portions referring to such regarding the timeframe referencing SCUBA Diving which were towards a different part in time of what I had seen needed to be taken care of, thus far it seems as though it simply has been it is what it is sort of attitude towards such. Including when speaking with others in the SCUBA Diving community at the shop, at the lake, and later-ish though not to the same degree later regarding my Cavern SCUBA Diving certification class. However a still same old ho hum in reference to anyone asking or saying anything truthful to me about such if discussed by that point, because of how the situations were going during such a time.

I had already informed the male who later in reference to the Corona that I was not interested, as well as he had met my fiance at the time when at the lake a few weeks prior to my then fiance leaving to go to Basic Training. During the time after being engaged the first time which was a couple weeks after who I was engaged to ex-girlfriend had threatened his safety and I defended him and the military in the email exchanges from the email I no longer have access to though have attempted to remember and the algorithm has not granted the ability to change the password so I can actually access that email address since, however later after the situation which I defended myself in reference to the Corona situation and pushing him off of me to throw him across the room after he slid his hand down my pants; I ran out to my car after grabbing my stuff which I was already leaving because of not feeling well after the few sips I had of that one Corona which had weird bubbles, compared to what I saw at the Boystown location. Later I had to end the engagement because of not being able to discuss what happened until over a couple years later because of not knowing what words to use to explain how the situation occurred or what occurred in a general way because of the way it happened and was not considered as the same term as rape because of the lack of the penis portion, and when I was assaulted as a teenager what occurred did not happen in that region as it was in the upper area in reference to that situation. As the situation regarding my son, my daughter, and I at the McCoy Elementary School in Carrollton Texas at the Carrollton Farmers Branch Independent School District which the news had completed an article in regards of both my children's biological father's death and the after effects though did not clarify I did not know about anything regarding the stolen valor while not also paying attention to the fact I have not ever said an untruth as I did not graduate Basic Training as the head injury occurred during Basic Training, 9 days after going from Zero Week over the tracks. I started counting Basic Training days once crossing over the tracks to go check into the starship shaped building because of the way it almost looked like the Crystal Lake South High School arrangement with the common pit area to a degree, I did not count Zero Week time in days because I knew Basic Training did not begin until crossing over the train tracks.

I suppose there is an additional irony comparatively, though similarly I was in a different part of the city and/or state and had not seen ... in ... as in reference to quite a few aspects.

Later after I ended the engagement for multiple reasons some of which included though do not include all reasons in this particular brief writing of he was in Basic Training and I could not explain, nor would he have responded well, nor would Basic Training at where he was have gone well, and that does not include what if in regards if I had waited until the time when he graduated to tell him at the graduation; which I thought all options were needlessly cruel, in my opinion.

How could I consciously ruin that day for him and his family, with such type of what would have to be discussed on what was supposed to be a celebration?

A few months later when I had to move to Cedar Park with my son to be able to make sure my daughter was taken care of properly at a residential treatment center in Liberty Hill/Merrill Creek area which if there are nearby underground caverns to take a look into possibly another situation to look into in prior reference aspects of writings more recently, that male who I was engaged to which I had to end previously had returned into my life with a hand injury which his middle finger was severed because as he said a tank shell had been dropped on his hand. It did not make sense back then as quite frankly I know how big tank shells can be and a tank shell big enough to sever his middle finger compared to severing more than which thankfully was not a problem, though it seemed weird as though it was a dirty knife which cut his finger off because of some of the chips I cleaned out from the wound in his hand. I asked him if he had gotten a Tetnis shot, which he laughed and asked why. I asked him to get one though because of the additional stuff I was seeing in his hand as I worked to heal with what I knew and know, thankfully the infection had cleared out and was no longer a problem which healed quickly. He and I did talk about his ex-girlfriend Leslie though I forgot about the email threats as well as the situation which my biological parents were at the house needing to be sold because of the situations overall at the time. As a single Mom with everything going on and with minimal assistance, the maintenance of the overall aspects was far too much for me to be able to handle all alone.

I was told by my biological parents of police showing up, though nothing further from even the male who was under the impression as I had of a mentoring aspect to his stepping into the lifestyle as he said; as he said he did not know anything and had wanted to learn about the different sides of the lifestyle, when we spoke in person. When assessing him and learning he did not have his biological father in his life ever, I found his biological father for him quickly for him to begin that journey to look into. He said he, his brother, and his sister had been in mental health institutions as well as most of the children went to live with someone else because of what was going on in the house; including the dungeon behind the closet which he told me his step-dad and his Mom once attended The Sanctuary for several years together before they were tired of the drama that came out from that place. A few months later, he moved in with his dad and then later I was told he moved in with a family within the Denton Texas area. That same male I thought I saw at the dry fountain area in Great Falls Montana in 2018, playing a guitar. One photographer who I modeled for fairly often had taken pictures of for modeling as I had done so with others though at that time was after the end of the first engagement, however that photographer upon returning back to Texas after how wound up in Washington state seemed as though an oddity for a comment. He said there was a male in the lifestyle community who made it a habit to try to Dominate Dominant females, which seemingly feels a bit ironic for such a reference to which others would be able to speak to with more details comparatively.

When re-engaged though I had explained what I could where I could, few questions were asked though when my biological parents came over to the house in Cedar Park they were extremely upset to see his car in the front of the house I was in at the time. My biological father was infuriated to see him inside the house and my biological mother was upset as she did not know how to tell Patricia Ann Hom-Miller about him being back in my life at the time, as she did not like him to begin with when first meeting him saying she thought he was too smooth to be anywhere near me. The irony of the fact she had refused to allow me to be in the pictures at her wedding though using my son and my daughter for their wedding as the ring bearer and the flower girl, and were upset as to my bringing such to be able to be a part of and then having the nerve to think to stay for the wedding because of stealing the spotlight as she claimed because of how I look as it was her and her fiance's day in comparison to what I thought was a family event to celebrate; my mistake, as I was informed of despite taking pictures additionally to the photographer they paid for. I took pictures though was not present simply because of how I am, as it was as it was.

The gown I picked was considered as unacceptable and was asked to change colors because of having the same colors as the wedding party for family members only and as I thought as I thought prior to driving from Carrollton Texas to Austin Texas to bring my son and my daughter to be the ring bearer and the flower girl, I learned what implied meant extremely quickly and thus my choice to not do even implied nudes because of that situation as it was such an offense to be in the Austin area of Texas near both the Aquarina Hot Springs as well as Lake Travis and to be treated in such a manner by those who would not have been allowed to have a wedding if I had not taken care of what I had taken care of earlier in 2009. It was what it was, and the proof is in the fact there have not been people who went missing at Lake Travis in large numbers after the second trip in 2009; however apparently the additional aspects were not as important at the time apparently either, as per being informed of such without explanations in truth. Or, possibly that was the truth of such all along. They know what she will look like as she ages, as per the saying if I am correct.

In reference to the aspects regarding Aquarina Hot Springs in San Marcos Texas while during the Underwater Naturalist SCUBA Diving class, I had worn a blue tooth because of knowing if the call came in and was needed; I could simply grab my purse and walk outside instead of digging around my purse and disrupting the class, however a male similar looking to the male regarding the car lights in Crystal Lake and Bull Valley at Jim M'Lady's with his Mom looked as though an older version of the similarity almost as though he knew me more than I knew him. Though who was I then at either time compared to such types of connections and the like, right? Just another female who dealt with what I dealt with, right?

His attitude during the time in reference to the car dealership both before and after reminds me of a combined aspect while he sat in the class if the same individual as that male who had complained about me wearing the blue tooth to be respectful to the teacher as well as the class while maintaining my responsibilities as a Mom and a safe SCUBA Diver, of 2 situations which though had not dated are still quite relevant for such, due to the type of way of being looked at during such a time(s) and the tone of voice in conjunction to the words and much more. First was when I was informed a 2nd or 3rd cousin seemed to be a better choice in a particular situation regarding only starting to date and less than 2 weeks of before he left to go overseas to visit his family, and the other where in preparation for a Toys for Tots function combined with the Margarita Ball in Dallas with a different irony additionally; nonetheless when going to the store to pick up a suit instead of being taken to where he was apparently more accustomed to than before walking in the store with me, he was upset about being taken to where he was in comparison to the good side of the store. Those situations combined in the two different males reference to the regards referring to the male(s) in question referencing Crystal Lake and Bull Valley as well as the dealership, as though I was not already informed as to how others viewed my place in this world as they saw.

The irony you might wonder if reading, I suppose? I was actually going to discuss the situations once the celebration was done from the dancing, up until the time at the store which had my thoughts going as to whether or not to bother discussing ever with anyone. I have kept as such for the amount of time I have because as per shown, why bother?

Thus I am thankful for my past which had taught me to pay attention to more than just one or two or three aspects, as the amount of time has been as it has been. By the time of the second engagement I had already taken care of what I needed to in reference to such in a fuller way as it seemed the least important aspect in comparison to what was going on by that time of which that male I was engaged to had gone with me to appointments to see my daughter at the hospital in Denton, as I picked him up to go with me as he asked if I needed someone to be by my side after awhile of having gone to the shop to take care of both of my vehicles. He preferred Playstation and was surprised I had my son and my daughter playing on Nintendo in comparison which later I had gotten them an XBox, prior to later when getting one after the first major hospitalization for my daughter's situation for my son when in Irving. When after the second engagement and the relationship when a shotgun was pointed in my face prior to the moving back to San Antonio and a few other situations, that particular male had arranged the account because I did not know how to make a Playstation account though I purchased through the same email because of my GameStop account for the security serial number codes for all makes and models which would have the records of and for.

Later when in San Antonio after being outed again to my biological parents about my involvement with the lifestyle which they were first informed back in 2004, again later in 2007, again later in 2009, and once more in 2010 prior to the last time of being outed in 2012 by different people which how they forgot about each prior time still baffles me; as they found my bedroom supplies, and my biological father took apart the first version I made of a bed which had been made when engaged during the 2nd time though taken apart afterwards to move to Irving as needed for my daughter's hospital as well as for my son's wellbeing as he had some friends he could still spend time with and I got along well with their parents meaning in reference to one particular family and I promised their eldest son if he graduated high school I would be at his graduation ceremony which I kept my promise(s) as I do and have done as best as I possibly could. It was simply icing on the top as to who the speaker was for that high school ceremony as Mr. Burns from the Carrollton Farmers Branch Independent School District took the stand and I simply kept myself as calm as I could by separating myself as much as I wanted to be so much closer. What a wonderfully pleasant surprise to watch and listen from the very back most part of the auditorium, as I could feel the heat underneath his feet and how nervous he rightfully was from all of those high school graduates watching and listening to his words while watching from the areas they sat to see his natural responses to just the sight of me in the area. That graduation class saw in person how I had been treated by that school and school district simply from the way the graduation went that day on the stage, and how they actually had practiced for the graduation ceremony compared to what actually occurred that day. I remained calm, though I cannot know to say or write the same for the school board and the school district staff members though the graduates saw as well as their family members and whichever cameras arranged.

If I had not learned what I did as I did when I did and despite hanging my New Jersey Flag next to the Texas Flag both beneath the United States of America's Flag on my house that I purchased to pay homage to where I came from as well as where I relearned while within the United States of America, apparently that too in that part of the state of Texas shows such in a multitude of ways as to however other people in that neighborhood had viewed such. Apparently no one had ever been involved with someone who lived outside of the state of Texas by some of the responses, to my choice to be respectful and remember to never forget where I came from and who I did the most and best of what I could for since I did grow up in New Jersey and did what I could to fight to be emancipated to join the Army branch of the United States of America's Armed Forces. Though because that was not plastered, I doubt anyone ever thought to look past the surface of those pictures in those pieces of fabric as they always meant more to me than any piece of an opinion.

My son, my daughter, and I would not have been able to be despite how that area and overall other areas had treated us; individually and/or collectively as a couple or a few, as able to be seen for the time throughout to infinity beyond the reach of numerical proportions. The upbringing I had in a few ways can be seen additionally, however I am thankful and grateful for what I learned to be able to move forward even though I have been looked at as I have and treated as such for the length of time of which has occurred. Not because I allowed it, because others could not control themselves. Maybe that can change, for the better. However there is a saying in SCUBA Diving, which seems appropriate as has been appropriate for several situations.

I am thankful for the lessons I learned to prepare me to propel forward whichever way I choose to go as obviously as thus far has been concerned without such recognition or even ability to celebrate one victory let alone as many in reference to the waters, however I suppose the state of Texas just is not interested and has not ever been interested in such a specialized style of SCUBA Diving training as such requirements had not occurred as of yet. It is what it is, I have grown accustomed to others preferring the one side of the store compared to the other side where the specialty aspects are for actual customization.

Though yeah, I am alive. That is something to be thankful for, two days in a row. Though so too for the passport and the pictures, for a possibility for actual justice though again; SCUBA Diving, and a saying.