top of page

The Ornery P.S.A.
a philosophical-ish
Blog

 

It should not take a head injury
*after personally sustaining a head injury & coma*
to figure this out...

 
 
 
 
 
 


After a Drill Sergeant threw Me into the metal part of the bunk when I was in Basic Training for the United States of America's Army branch at Fort Sill Oklahoma #FortSill #FortSillOK #FortSillOklahoma #OK #Oklahoma in the year of 2000 on Psalm Sunday, I have dealt with the situations as best as I have been capable to do so while taking care of the situations and asking for assistance as per the required explanations of the information to such facts first.  While making the attempts to get assistance for the aspects thereof as to the reality, the aspects of where and when as to the multiple attempts to ask for assistance for me.  As my journal blog for when I was ready to bring such as to my other works forward since as to the lengths of time as to where my modeling was as to the modeling page information, just as the other pages have the information as to such specifics, and just as this journal blog of mine is as to such facts.


If I had real friends (if as to having met in person face to face in person in real life as to the aspects of this particular reference such as from the state of Texas as to the state of Washington as to the years of 2000 through 2013 if I met within the state of Texas for such references), real (the areas of the tristate region as before the year of 2000) family, and real relationships in real life that recognized me as to the aspects of if as to the face to face in person who started in truth as I had started such in truth as to the after effects from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury, as well as the subarachnoid hemorrhage in the frontal lobe of my brain that took 8.5 years to dissipate; then I guesstimate there would be the easier factors as to being capable for me to speak with others in truth in person face to face in person and/or through online measures as to such factors I suppose.  Though would such as to the knowledge of the ways as to how they began such discussions with me as to would there be such a situation, for them to consider as to such if factors as to such discussions with me in truth?


As to some suggestions and commentary within "Finding A Silver Lining" one of several of my bo0ks I personally authored/wrote/compiled as I can only speak and write in truth as per such clarifications as to the reality as to the specifics of such discussions/writings/videos as per my Official You Tube where I have satirical commentary where I comment about the factors as to having dealt with others' opinions about their pop culture references of #NJ #NJstate #NewJersey #NewJerseystate New Jersey, though as to for the most part I have actually preferred to be asked with politeness if as to having read my books and/or seen my website as just the same in reference to the timeframes when I was modeling as to having respect as to what I consider as respect, referencing if as to such polite manners as to discussions if as to such having been noticed because of the factors in my opinion as to having real discussions as communication would be if my website was seen before the year of 2023 as I first began my website in 2015; as in my journal blog posts as to the reality of the years of 2010 through 2013, as to the aspects of introductions as to those timeframes when as to various factors as I did not take selfies as I was actually working with photographers as to my creations of my outfits as per the description on the link to my modeling page(s) as to the references regarding my journal blog updates in the years of 2019 through 2022 as the timeframe onward as to the year of 2023 as to the factors as to how such journal blog entries will be as to such factors as to the aspects of the various topic points.


Go read through the multiple journal blogs on my website after finishing scrolling to get to the journal blog area, now!

Share the links of my journal blog, too!




 I was born and raised in New Jersey and grew up going throughout the tristate northeast areas mainly, and as to how the reality of when the importance of the situations as to the aspects of reviewing as to such facts regarding the logistics for several factors as to the considerations; the years of 2019 through 2022 as to the review process as to the aspects of the timeframe, prior to the timeframe of the 20 year memorial of 11 September 2001 also known as 9/11 as well as before the 30 year memorial of February 1993, as to the northeast areas mostly known as to New York City #NYC #NewYork #NY #NYstate #NYU though also as to the #Pentagon Pentagon, as well as Pennsylvania #Pennstate #Pennsylvaniastate as to the reality of how many New Jersey-ians commute in either direction, depending upon what location for the commute. 


The factors though I have said at times, I re-re-re-re-re-re-grew up in the state of  #Texas #TX #Texasstate Texas as to such factors as to the timeframes, as well as all 26 of my SCUBA #SCUBA #SCUBADiving  Diving certifications I earned were through one school within the state of Texas as I also earned winning first place in a Texas Chili cookoff with more than 20 entries as well as my chili recipe as I am adamant about my recipes as to such aspects just as I am specific as to what it actually takes for me to cook in a BBQ as to the required preparations for when I have BBQed.   



I can sarcastically write, those who know of the Rules of the BBQ as to where I grew up as to the Rules of the BBQ as to such factors to the considerations of such preparations.  However that is to cooking food as to the differences of my journal blog entries, as to the factors as to proverbial aspects of food for thought as the difference of real food in real life as to the facts of the situations to such attention to the details as well as attention to the information.


Such facts as to the metaphors in some of such factors that only after reviewing such information as to the aspects of the fiction book series that were as to for My personal life as to such dreamland sorts of factors as to the differences of such hypotheticals, the references thereof as to such regards as to the logistical emotional with the real situations as per the names I was informed of at the timeframes referenced review as to My journal blog as to the situations overall.  


If as to my journal blog being found and read as to where what I consider as common sense, as to the aspects of my satirical saying   how it should not take a head injury to figure out. 
 

*(sometimes utilizing articles discussing facts)*
By:  (Reverend) Susan MeeLing
also known as

The One & Only


(YouTube)   Lady Dori Belle


 

Business Card.jpg

REMEMBER:

​

After the head injury caused a coma while I learned how to deal with the headaches, migraines, cognitive disorders, memory problems, and other medical conditions I went from College Algebra with Trigonometry & Calculus down to 2nd grade math.  Here is how logic works for someone like me::

~  It took awhile for the doctor's recommendation to use sticky notes, to help remember.

~  It took several months to realize sticky notes moved, let alone to remember to speak with the doctor.

~  After I finally remembered to ask the doctor about the note problem, notebooks were recommended.

~  When I could remember to pick up a notebook, it took a long time to learn similar to sticky notes, notebooks are not always where they were placed.

~  After I was able to organize the notebooks over several months I still had not learned notebooks are not always readily available, at the necessary time.

~  When I remembered to speak with the doctor about the notebook problem the doctor had few other suggestions, to assist memories better.

~  After several events and adding up sticky note and notebook location problems, I realized my skin goes everywhere I do.

~  Wanting my tattoos to only be for me and not for public consumption I started the ink on my legs, able to hide easier.

~  It would not be until many tattoos and several years later I would realize my memory problems were usually not as bad when wearing shorts, capri pants, or a skirt.

~  Between 3-5 years after my first tattoo I had the first tattoo completed on my arms, and my memory has slowly progressed towards an easier memory jolt.

 

 

When I say "it should not take a head injury to figure this out" it is partially in humor from personal experiences, towards understanding.

 

If I can laugh at my mistakes after recognizing and dealing with them, so can you.

 

You have the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom I lack in order to put everything together to fix the problems seen with abilities I do not have. 

​

Utilize the information within the blog to find genuine repairs and instead of complaining of the "hurtful" commentary, prevent the issues from reoccurring.

​

Then again, it should not take a head injury to figure that one out.

​

Do make sure to link my journal blog entry articles to yours if you refer to my works for any of your research in the slightest, for proper credit. 

 

Thank you, in advance.

REMEMBER:

​

​

After the head injury caused a coma while I learned how to deal with the headaches, migraines, cognitive disorders, memory problems, and other medical conditions I went from College Algebra with Trigonometry & Calculus down to 2nd grade math.  Here is how logic works for someone like me::

~  It took awhile for the doctor's recommendation to use sticky notes, to help remember.

~  It took several months to realize sticky notes moved, let alone to remember to speak with the doctor.

~  After I finally remembered to ask the doctor about the note problem, notebooks were recommended.

~  When I could remember to pick up a notebook, it took a long time to learn similar to sticky notes, notebooks are not always where they were placed.

~  After I was able to organize the notebooks over several months I still had not learned notebooks are not always readily available, at the necessary time.

~  When I remembered to speak with the doctor about the notebook problem the doctor had few other suggestions, to assist memories better.

~  After several events and adding up sticky note and notebook location problems, I realized my skin goes everywhere I do.

~  Wanting my tattoos to only be for me and not for public consumption I started the ink on my legs, able to hide easier.

~  It would not be until many tattoos and several years later I would realize my memory problems were usually not as bad when wearing shorts, capri pants, or a skirt.

~  Between 3-5 years after my first tattoo I had the first tattoo completed on my arms, and my memory has slowly progressed towards an easier memory jolt.

 

 

When I say "it should not take a head injury to figure this out" it is partially in humor from personal experiences, towards understanding.

 

If I can laugh at my mistakes after recognizing and dealing with them, so can you.

 

You have the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom I lack in order to put everything together to fix the problems seen with abilities I do not have. 

​

Utilize the information within the blog to find genuine repairs and instead of complaining of the "hurtful" commentary, prevent the issues from reoccurring.

​

Then again, it should not take a head injury to figure that one out.

​

Do make sure to link my journal blog entry articles to yours if you refer to my works for any of your research in the slightest, for proper credit. 

 

Thank you, in advance.

Remember, since I was either six or seven years old I have been giving warnings as to the best of my ability as to the visions I had which began when I was in second grade of Elementary school.  The first warning I gave officially as to my nightmare vision compared to my dream vision was in the year of 1988 or 1989, compared to the online writings and my books as well as my journal blog entries year timeline for the information.


If anyone is upset please direct your upset towards those who had made the choices to constantly needlessly block my warnings and/or try to explain otherwise as to their trying to curb their responsibilities, in comparison to the responsible and respectful choices as best as I could possibly do so as a child starting as to such information at the age of when I was six in 1988 or seven years old in 1989.


I made every attempt to inform as best as I possibly could, though hopefully the clarifications throughout my various books and writings as well as journal blog entries compared to the amount of people in multiple areas which I had spoken with about in person from the years of 1988 or 1989 through to 2012 more continuously before 2013. 


In the year of 2019 is when I began reviewing such details and onward through the years since 2019 more officially, however I made the attempts to give the warnings and what others' choices have been as to whatever proof thereof to who you should be speaking with as to what they told you in comparison as to the upset and anger with in comparison.


How many assistances I have made attempt towards betterment as to the clarifications from the year of 1988 or 1989 onward did it truly have to take for each to genuinely pay attention, as I have been making the best attempts to assist for the best possibilities how?

Day 55th of 60 Days of Thanks Challenge

I am thankful for a few aspects, in a few twisted ways which the timeframes despite the years have situations which correlate to one another as per piecing together a proverbial puzzle. Apparently certain situations do take a head injury to figure out, at times.


I met a male during a #FastEddie's #PoolHall tournament in San Antonio Texas around 281 and Bitters, which that male was bitter when he lost a match simply because he threw the pool cue when he could have actually waited just long enough to actually make the following shot after Cactus Jack AKA Jeffrey Kuykendall Jr had missed his next shot as was going to be, and then he would have won the match if he had known how to be patient. I was watching the two matches going on at the time between the two teams and was the ringer substitute because Jeremy Kuykendall's fiance Leslie at the time was unable to make the tournament and she normally played on the team though because of a traffic problem she was unable to make the match and Jeremy had informed her that I was at the pool hall to which she had said I was able to take over for the time so no one had to forfeit because of the schedule she had running behind schedule. She was not able to show up that night and later was seen, though what traffic situations were had not been informed of for whatever the situation had been if there was traffic to begin with as both Jeremy and Leslie were in college at #UTSA at the time in 2006 as was explained to me.


At the pool tournament I was wearing a pair of jeans, sneakers, and a white t-shirt with a small #VW Bug with the American Flag with glitter for the design on the shirt. My hairstyle and hair color was as it is and I had several of my smaller tattoos inside of my hands, on the tops of my hands, and my ankle tattoos with my back tattoos. However none were showing beyond my hand tattoos possibly during such times, unless I was wearing capri jeans which then some of my lower leg tattoos could have been showing depending if there was that type of camera system arranged within the Fast Eddies near 281 and Bitters Road/Nakamora behind the miniature golf course in the area. I was informed the team that we were going against was supposedly the best pool team in the league which the other two did not want to forfeit the game and I agreed to play telling them I had not played pool in years since I was living in #CrystalLake #Illinois as well as in New Jersey, which they were not worried as I was able to prevent the forfeit of the night's matches and that mark would not be a problem to the overall aspects of the way the tournament rules worked.


It began at first with the three other males walking over to the three of us with some having their chests puffed up while the Jeffrey and Jeremy shook their hands, until the other males went towards me to shake my hand and scoffed while doing so with flimsy handshakes. Each took a jump when they shook my hand as apparently my handshake was stronger than they expected from me, which I did not realize was a situation to pay attention to at the time for the body response from the one male who was apparently going to be the biggest problem of the night for such a time. That male who was around 6 feet tall, lighter brown hair, light complexion, light colored t shirt, jeans, and sneakers had looked down upon me not just because of his height though also because when shaking hands his comment as to how he did not think such a little girl could be so big and strong. I smiled saying he would be surprised as to how big and strong I could be, though I was not a little girl just because I am short and Faery-sized. The two brothers laughed and chuckled as the other team of males puffed up a bit more in their chests, as I simply stood waiting for the discussions as to how such was going to go not realizing the opening way they wanted to introduce themselves was going to be as they were going to be to a degree via the matches. As I had been the substitute for the match that Tuesday evening, I had chosen to wait because it did not make sense for the substitute to play first for the matches on the two tables per tournament event team match. I had not been in any tournament before for pool as I only played with some friends as a pool hall in Illinois with Lisa from Crystal Lake South High School who was in her senior year when I was a Junior in high school, and when at youth group mainly at #OTC Old Tennent Presbyterian Church. I did not have much experience, however I was extremely versed in college level Geometry by the time in San Antonio Texas despite the after effects from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury.


As the two teams talked with one another and then each other briefly before the tournament commenced, Jeremy went to one table with one of the other team's males as Jeffrey went to play the other teammate. I had not remembered which was the third of their team which was not unusual for the time for me as per what the after effects of my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury are regarding certain aspects. While watching and listening while randomly speaking with a few people here and there as the time went as the time went, the matches slowly progressed forward to which the portions regarding the match went onward. Jeremy was doing well and had gotten along fairly decently with the male he was playing against seemingly as Jeffrey was playing the male who was going to apparently be a problem which needed to be solved as I watched how the other male had an aire about himself, as he lined up certain shots. As he made comments to while rolling his eyes randomly, I walked around the table to not be in the way of the other people playing pool though so I could look at the angles as it had been a minimum of 5-6 years since I had actually played pool at a pool hall; which again, I was not playing professionally as I was simply enjoying the night out at the time. I was not near nor having to deal with specifically who later would be my now dead-ex-husband, and though the situation had been as such there was at minimum a few good aspects in such a situation.


While the tournament went onward for the main areas the closer time for the round to end went through and just when the other teammate was going to win if he made the shot on the 8 ball of which I knew he was going to scratch though would have made the following shot for the win, that male picked up the cue ball to throw the cue ball across the table, the cue ball bounced off of the table, and then he went to go walk after the cue ball to pick up as I said to him "You should not have forfeited the game as you were aligned for another shot" at the tournament, which he quickly put the cue ball back onto the table and said 'It was all good, and no one needed to know.'


I told him he was not going to cheat by putting the cue ball wherever he wanted to put the cue ball because he did not know what the final trajectory was for that particular shot as to exactly where it was going to land to stop, which he tried to put the cue ball nowhere near where the cue ball would have landed which in turn the next shot was going to be different, and then match would have been won by Jeffrey for that match shot only if one of the other options had been however having seen how he was playing; it would have been an easy win for that other teammate, if he had not thrown the cue ball across the pool table and out into the pool hall main area where other pool league players could have and one almost would have stepped onto the cue ball to slip. That male ran over to where I was standing to try to get into my face which he tried to tell me how in his thoughts throwing the cue ball meant he was taking a break from the match, which was not a viable option as I told him. Then he tried to blame the fact he was mad at me for distracting him by walking around to see what he was doing, which I informed him I was getting out of the way from other pool hall players as well as giving him the room to take the shot as he kept hitting the balls to where he hit them to and then Jeffrey took his turn as the game of pool goes, and when I needed to move I would move so I could watch as I wanted. The male continued to become irate because he thought whatever he thought, and each of the other people for both teams watched as that male continued to go after me while I simply stood there looking at him to respond with shorter and shorter answers before he went after my t-shirt as him blaming me for wearing my #AmericanFlag VW Bug t-shirt, which was his problem seeing someone who looks as I do wearing such a shirt. He went into detail about how he was in the Air Force branch of the United States of America while going on about how he thought I was a hippy for wearing an American Flag with glitter in the design VW Bug shirt, which those who knew me knew that was the most incorrect label for me at such a time. Those who knew how I felt about my biological Aunt Chris in reference to how she had treated military and veterans of the United States of America's Armed Forces during the 1960s and 1970s into the 1980s and 1990s meant, I could not stand certain types of hippies such as that type which had been disrespectful towards those who were in uniform as she proudly had destroyed the uniforms of soldiers throwing paint onto their Class A uniforms mainly; which infuriated me as to how disrespectful she had been despite her political views of the #VietnamWar at the time, as she and others would sneak up on unsuspecting soldiers walking around to pour pain on their uniforms while in at the same sort of way as certain PETA types were doing to people who wore fur coats in the 1980s and 1990s, while reminding me of a female I defended another female from attacking her over a fur corset at the Excalibur Faire in Smithville Bastrop County in Texas in 2005 the year before. I was primed and ready to go once he called those words towards my direction, as initially I thought with the little girl comment he was not knowing how to use the word of female or Ms or Miss or Ma'am or some other form of proper wording to speak with a member of the human race of a different gender than male. However, I started to remember how I had dealt with certain sexist individuals who did not like the fact of which my birth gender as a female had been problematic for their ability to understand just because I was born as a female did not mean I was incompetent. The rest of the situation had gone as it had regarding how the male wished I would relate the game of pool to the game of golf which the only recognizable aspects were the green color for the table as well as the course, a type of stick to hit a ball, and there would be people involved. That male did not appreciate my humor about the situation or the truth, which in turn the American Flag VW Beetle car upset him to the point of going to get another male to come over to speak with me about what he had done during the Vietnam War and as I was introduced to the male in such a way, I told him I appreciated his service and time in the Armed Forces for the defense assistance. That sent the male who had threw the cue ball into a frenzy as he demanded to know who I could ever know who would allow me to wear my t-shirt, which I did as best as I could to remain as calm as I could.


I told him about my then living ex-father-in-law Grandpa Nichols who had completed 4 volunteer tours in Vietnam, which upset that male he would allow me to wear the clothing I wanted; which when I brought up how that male sounded as though he was supporting sharia mentality, then he tried to tell me how he thought I knew nothing about what it actually took to be a Muslim. When I told him there was a difference between being a peaceful Muslim and the sharia law, that male once again went into the aspects regarding the game of pool to the game of golf which caused a situation to go around and around needlessly simply because he refused to acknowledged how he had thrown the cur ball across the table and had caused he and his team to lose the entire match for the tournament that evening. He tried to get into my face and intimidate me while going on about what his friends had done, which I informed him that was what his friends that he knew of may have done though was not anything he himself had ever accomplished and was probably why he continued to throw out what his friends had done in comparison to appreciating what his friends had done. When I said such an explanation he demanded to know what I meant which I explained without such males you claim to have as friends, you would not be allowed to even speak as you are and have been to me. I was listening as he continued to push forward with such garbage and attitude as the other teammates from his team as well as the team I was substituting for the female Leslie who was Jeremy Kuykendall's fiance at the time, which because I refused to stand down from the truth he felt the need to spread his lies all over the place claiming he knew more about the Air Force than I did about the United States of America; which made little sense to me as to why such a comparison and when I had told him "If you are in the Air Force branch, then of course you should know more about the Air Force than I do about the United States of America in further details."


That made his friend chuckle as he drank the shot of whiskey in the corner table area, which I simply refused to allow such trash talking because of the amount of wasted breath to try to convince me of the difference he thought was considered valid of the game of pool and the game of golf. He kept trying to say in the game of golf people are given leeway for if they hit over par, which I had told him in the game of golf they probably do not allow people to pick up the golf ball to throw into a different area to consider such as acceptable and would probably have just as much of a problem for such a style. Then he was upset as he did not think any female should ever know anything about the game of golf and went on a temper tantrum tirade as I simply refused to allow him to get away with throwing the cue ball during the tournament, and because I stood my ground against the male who tried to belittle my own time for the Armed Forces of the United States of America as well as my background including my ex-father-in-law's and my ex-brother-in-law's service without any consideration towards anyone else other than his tiny little ego of arrogance because of his own inability to acknowledge he had picked up the cue ball in the middle of a tournament to throw the cue ball across the table for it to bounce off of the table and roll away during the crux of the match; he said his feelings were hurt, which I rolled my eyes over such a remark about his feelings in the game of pool while he tried to corner me into trying to force me to recall my statement about the truth. He stomped off after a bit to go get one of the female referees which ironically after throwing such a tantrum about me telling him he was wrong, he ran to another female who would take his side if he said whatever words made her feel special or what-have-you. That is up until she walked out to the table as his teammates and who I was substituting for the team on, to come and get me to go with her to the kitchen area. I went to the back of the kitchen area to ask what the situation was about until seeing the male there fumingly waiting and demanding the female referee tell me what her call was, for the situation. As she asked me what the problem was I told her the male threw the cue ball off of the green table to bounce off of the bumper to roll onto the floor before he ran to go pick up the cue ball to put onto the table and try to say after I told him he had forfeited and was mad at him because he was actually going to win the match if he had the patience to not throw such a temper tantrum, however because of his choice to throw the cue ball across the table and lose his patience meant he no longer had any viable option other than a forfeit because of his inability to be a proper pool tournament player. The male threw his hands into the air yelling how that was exactly what he told the female referee as to my attitude before going on about my American Flag VW Beetle shirt and how the fact I was wearing an American Flag on my shirt made him feel less of a man, which I laughed at because I could not see how anyone who said they were in the #AirForce would ever be so arrogant as to have any lack of faith in the American Flag and the representation of the symbolism of such colors and purposes thereof as any individual who had lacked the ability to recognize the validity and importance of such symbolism was unfit for such a role.


He complained about my patriotism at that point which was a flip of the attitude to then continue on telling the female referee and I about the facts regarding how he felt his service was more important than anything having to do with the American Flag, which made me wonder why such words would ever come out of the mouth of a male who claimed to be in the Air Force branch as well as who would claim to have as many friends from the Vietnam War who would actually feel in such a way as it was not my fault as to how they were treated and if he actually knew anything about me he would know much better and would see that we were actually on the same side of that portion of the equation. He refused and said there was not an allowance in his opinion as to my allowance to wear the American Flag or even be appreciative of the American Flag because he considered me to be a hippy, even though my hair color and my hair style is as it was. After a point the female referee told the male she agreed with me and he had forfeited the game, which he threw an even bigger temper tantrum than before such as a spoiled brat who was told no for something which was known to be correct. She thanked me for my time though told me because he was throwing such a temper tantrum that both teams were stricken from that evening's match for the tournament, simply because he had made such a problem for everyone needlessly. I asked why my team should ever have to be penalized for his choices which she said that because he had gone around all sorts of places in the Fast Eddies and caused multiple problems in less than 1 hour as to how much occurred, she could not have all of the individuals get to an agreement because of his problems. I told her that was unacceptable as per the truth being the truth and she said because he was more involved with the tournament league that negated anything I had to say, which I informed her she would cause more problems than such was worth for taking such a stance as more people would refuse to be a part of such a choice and find other locations than to remain at such a type of place because of the refusal to be a part of such situations and negative wrongful bias. She told me she disagreed as she knew the people better than I, which I informed her she might know the people of Fast Eddies; though she did not know how all people were when it came to certain situations, and the fact she was allowing the male to throw such a temper tantrum meant that the entire pool league would suffer at that location as well as other locations if she made the choice to refuse to allow my team I was substituting for the remain unpenalized. She said she had the authority to make the call and I warned her if she chose to go through with that call then I could not and would not be held responsible for what occurred for his wrongful choice would send shockwaves throughout, and I refused the responsibility from his complaints as well as her biases for the length of time he had been involved simply because of the age in the time of the tournament. She said he was the best they had, which I told her their best was not good enough and I knew more players in the game of pool and the game of golf who would laugh at each aspect regarding such a little male ego of arrogance which she refused to see what I meant about bringing up the game of golf while having already acknowledged the male for bringing up the game of golf.


I told the two if their choice was to run the tournament in such a way in comparison the league would not tolerate such despite the male and she asked me why I thought as I had, which I informed her it was not the first time he had probably done so and would not be the last. I warned her if he had done so beforehand to the time we were in the kitchen those people would come forward and warn of such problems with that male, and if he continued such as long as he was involved with anything which his attitude as such was as such; then the guarantee of each aspect he touched would always fall down away from him, and he would feel the world slip through his fingers just as he would cause for anyone and everyone else who ever stood by him and/or defended him. He laughed saying he was able to buy whatever he wanted which I told him he could buy whatever he wanted as he said, though he could not buy what he hoped for as that had to be proven and earned. He then complained about my hair some more before complaining about the American Flag on my shirt once again, which I told him my clothing and my hair had nothing to do with how crappy of a person he was and how sorry of an excuse he was for such a temper tantrum. I warned the female referee if she refused to stand up at that moment she too would suffer the same fate as he and nothing she could ever do until she acknowledged the truth at all times would ever be a possibility for her to ever work towards genuine success, and once she accepted such truths and would actually live up to such standards would only be when she could begin to redeem herself. The male scoffed at me and my words, telling her she needed to listen to him instead of listening to me. He did not pay attention to the fact she had said he too was being removed from the night's tournament match, and it was quite evident he did not realize what he did to him own teammates because of such a choice. The male told me more of his opinions and how he would get me back for embarrassing him which I informed him he would only embarrass himself further while making me look better than he ever thought was possible for each and every try he would make to be in such a way, and maybe one day he would grow up to be a real boy and then he could grow up to be a man if it was not too late before his death. He looked down at me asking me who I thought I was, and I told him I know I am me. She threw her hands up saying she had made the decision, and both teams were done for the night. She said each could play on the pool tables in different areas and to stay away from one another, in comparison to what was going to be the rest of the tournament. I again warned her to reconsider for the team I was substituting for as they were not to blame for his choices, though the female referee had chosen to continue to remain in such a stance and chose to announce such to the entire place in comparison to what she could have done in regards of only that male and if necessary only that team. When she made the announcement to everyone, there was an obvious view of which more than half took one side and the other less than half took the other side. I had told Jeremy and Jeffrey Kuykendall Jr of the outcome before the announcement as the male continued to harass the female referee as she told me to get out of the kitchen and go, which when I told Jeremy and Jeffrey the two simply shrugged their shoulders as though it was normal for that in the league. However Jeremy paid more attention to the words I had said whereas Jeffrey paid more attention to the fact I refused to stand down when it was important in which Jeremy was glad for both as he said, though he seemed to be more accustomed to such than the other way around.


The rest of that night, the male from the other team sent people over to the table I was near to supposedly accidentally bump into each of us as well as make comments. I knew which direction it was coming from as I paid attention to the body language before and after as well as watched where they walked from as well as where they walked to to ensure I saw correctly, before making my decision as to how I would handle such a male. When getting ready to leave as the other two had not picked up on what was occurring initially and we walked towards the front doors to leave, the male who began the problems yelled out the word bitch. I turned around to say "Well, thank you for recognizing that I was born in the Chinese Zodiac Year of the Dog, though it is Queen B to you boy." Admittedly I did notice a bit of an upright positioning beyond him standing upright, for such a comment as seen easily through such khaki pants and looser though form fitted t shirt.


I walked out of the Fast Eddie's location into the parking lot which both males were stunned by what I said, though I cold tell in different ways and unknowing as to how such ways were it was as it was. I was infuriated as to how such occurred as I could not understand how anyone would allow such behaviour, though it was not the end of such as that male continued to harass everyone of us each time we returned to the pool tournament. Several weeks went by before I had enough and when he was playing nearby I turned around and whispered while throwing my voice in a way I knew how to do, saying a simple Boo. He jumped, missed the shot, scratched the turn, almost ripped the fabric of the green felt, and stood up to yell at the person behind him though there was no one standing there. He turned around to look to where I was standing because he recognized my voice though I was on the other side of the pool hall, simply smiling in his direction as he shuttered in a bit of upset. I returned to the discussion and laughed to myself knowing he knew I was the one who said the word though because I was not directly behind where he had heard my voice, he was incapable of figuring out how I had been far stronger than he ever wished for himself and could only wish for such for others' as such was not able to be hoped for in truth for anyone thereafter because of the levels to which I am as I am. I was not playing around as the situations for the initial match had continued on throughout each night we were there and continued onward after that as well, before I stood face to face with that male when he was trying to go around and tried to tell me to move. I can give a reference as to how such looked in regards of when outside of Club Sapphire and a male who was in trouble for parking in a spot illegally was informed he needed to move his older car out of the emergency zone to which he stepped on someone else's wife's open toes because of the shoes she was wearing and that male got into my face trying to get me to move out from the sidewalk so he could go around, though I simply stood where I was and made him walk around me acknowledging he had not other choices available to him ever. When he threw the tantrum and finally walked around, the temper tantrums which ensured are a more openly public way as to how that male from the pool tournament at Fast Eddie's had responded to me though he had bumped into Jeremy's fiance Leslie and made her spill part of her drink onto the ground. I told the male to apologize to Leslie which he rolled his eyes, and when I told him to back off he told me to make him. I warned him if I made him back off he would regret not making the choice of his own free will as per the ways I know such can go, which he told me he thought he knew more about life than I had and would try to prove me wrong. I warned him if he tried such he would waste many years with each try to the point he would drive a wedge between himself and everyone else he ever thought he could actually care about until he was all alone and no one would ever come to assist him because of how he would have to pay for each aspect of each choice he had made in such haughtiness, which he said he hoped if it meant the same for me it would be worth it to him; which I warned him if he thought that way then he would cause far too many people regret they did not need to go through, because of his attitude towards his lack of life appreciation. The team with at the time started telling me to calm down at first until that point which they had seen several smaller aspects which caused them to cease for a moment, as he continued onward. I told him I hoped if such occurred there would be a way for such to be able to redeem themselves on their own accord so at minimum the ways of which he hoped for them, they would be able at minimum to be able to still hold their heads up high instead of being the way he wished for anyone and everyone as such a hope was unacceptable to me and rejected fully by me.


He demanded to know who I am to him, and I said I was nothing to him as he had done to so many people before that he would lose himself in such madness that he would be incapable of ever being able to ever have a genuine relationship once he began such a situation. He told me he could buy a relationship which I told him buying a relationship did not equate to genuine happiness, which he scoffed at my childish views of life. I told him if he thought he could buy a relationship then he would not ever be able to appreciate the relationship or the person he would be in such a situation with, and I hoped for anyone and everyone who could ever get involved with such they would be able to save themselves and get to safety as best as they could despite his attempts to cause further harm until he could be taken out. Then, he asked if I was flirting with him and I informed him he would not be of any interest to me except to destroy which he laughed at me thinking that he knew anything of who I am in full which was comical as he did not know himself enough to take a step back to genuinely reevaluate his life. He refused to acknowledge he would ever be so irresponsible and I warned him his choices would prove one way or another as to whether or not he genuinely cared about life, or if he simply was ready to try to purchase anything which could give him some semblance of what life could be though would not ever have actual life itself because of the fact life cannot be purchased it is only earned. He demanded to know what I meant, which I informed him life was not a game of pool nor a game of golf though was simply life. Life was what people chose to make of such existences allowed for such, and if his choice was to prefer to treat life as nothing more than something to be purchased then he would waste his entire existence on something that was an object or anything except what actual life is. I told him his arrogance would be his demise and his arrogance would lead more people needlessly to their end quicker than they should have been able to have, though I knew he did not care even though he claimed he knew more about what life actually is in comparison. He brought up the American Flag VW Beetle tshirt I had worn the first night and he told me he could not see the American Flag without thinking of me. I laughed to myself before saying that was a good thing, as the American Flag is my favorite flag in the world for I know what the fullest meanings are behind each aspect thereof as well as the symbolism behind each portion for each strip and what such fully represents beyond the more open knowledge compared to what the hidden in plain sight had meant for some.


He tried to say his opinion was more important to those he knew which I agreed though I warned him if his opinions were found out for the biases they were based in, then he would quickly begin to see a dramatic decline in his so-called friends and so-called family. He told me he was able to buy whatever he wanted which again I repeated to him, that was not the meaning of life and though he was lucky enough to buy whatever he wanted at the end of the day he would not be able to buy people to actually like or actually care about his wellbeing in a genuinity. I told him he would only be able to purchase what was able to be purchased and nothing further than such, as you cannot purchase truthful feelings of concern about another person with finances as money is important though genuinity and what is done with money is just as important. While he could purchase all sorts of whatever he wanted to buy, that did not purchase self-respect nor did it purchase the respect from others. What it did w=purchase was only the aspects of what money could physically purchase though did not actually mean anything beyond such a physical purchase and those who received such from him would be disgusted by such a purchase availability in comparison to what was actually earned on one's own. He laughed saying he did not believe he needed self-respect because he could purchase the respect he demanded, which he was warned as to such a view point as others would not be so arrogant with such flagrancy. He complained how he knew more about the way things were of the world, which I warned him of his attitude being as such because he seemed as though he was one of those types of people who had no idea what to do with such aspects and maybe one day he would wake up to the problems he had caused and would actually begin to work towards fixing such before too late; though what would that cost be worth to him, for the reality of such would be so great if he had caused too many portions of too many problems of which if in truth would be worth the aspects of though what it would take for him to realize such would be unable to be purchased to repair such situations for those before me as well as those after me from what he would have caused themselves as well. He laughed saying he did not care about anyone else and how he would make such believe as he would make such believe, and I warned him people do not like being lied to and when they find out of such then the problems for him would continue to surmount until he made a confession for everything he had done to each person if he was able to remember each time and each place he had gone to do as however he chose to do. The teams watched and listened as there were several times that male from the Fast Eddie's pool league continued until the situations began as they had at Nine Lives Book with more cat sanctuary people while I was volunteering at Nine Lives Books in the online section, and then the situations continued onward as it had across the board of my life as well as others' lives. It did not take a long amount of time before the situations had gone as they had regarding the who is now my dead-ex-husband to go as such had at Talil Air Force Base before returning to the United States of America after stopping in Germany for a stent, to then go back to Fort Sam Houston to be in Warrior Transition Unit prior to the death of my now dead-ex-husband who is my son's #Letters4James' and my daughter's #Letters4Lidia's biological father. The ironic twist regarding the aspects of the surrounding situations in reference to also how other situations had gone including the CID investigation afterwards to such times, as well as the #CowboysDanceHall #StoneyLaRue situation and the claim of being an Air Force Officer who went to Officer Basic Training at Lackland Air Force Base and the male named Kevin almost looking like a younger mixed version of the male who I dealt with at the Fast Eddie's Pool Hall tournament league.


How many people who have had money wished they had the ability to accept the actual responsibility when taking the time to go forward to sign the dotted line for the United States of America's Armed Forces, in comparison whether or not they have the money to back up in other ways? How many have actually been proud to earn what they earned despite some of the aspects which could not be replaced by finances though such finances were helpful for such, while in comparison to those who had simply been given such on a platter thinking that was better than actually earning such? How many have thought they were able to purchase their way through life in comparison to earning such a way, despite there being difficulties? How many have actually appreciated their lives in each aspect to learn as they have as best as possible in comparison to only one way and each purchase being one more purchase which in the end, cannot be taken with you whenever your time is up? Surely the physical materialistic objects are important for various aspects some more sentimental than others, though what is the more importance to such types of objects? Are they only a physical reminder of one point in time, or are the meanings behind such a symbolism more important than the actual worth of such in finances? Can when something is purchased in a way as to buy off in comparison to having earned such through truth, worth more or worth less, and why? Which aspect is more important to anyone, in truth? Is it better to actually help when and where possible to which the worth outweighs, or is it better to be able to only buy in comparison? I do not doubt the ability to buy anything wanted or desired at any point in time might be of importance to some, though in the long run what portion of what is purchased is able to last throughout the tests of time through various situations and circumstances? Is the worth of objects purchased more important, or is the meaning behind such more important? What is it that can be done to which such objects which can be purchased in comparison to the background portions thereof, and why would such be considered as being as worthwhile? If in appreciation then why would there ever need to be any type of alerting of anything to change such, or if in appreciation would such be the way it should be when brought forward? What types of situations make life worth fighting for, in comparison to only being able to purchase without a second thought as to what would be in a different way longer in time? If the objects are more important, than what is the experiences behind such objects and what experiences of such are truly worth such in the amount of time? Is the few minutes of whatever brings such an object forward more important, or is the value actually in the efforts of such and why?


The male refused to accept any of the questions I had asked while he continued on such a path to try to convince me, to which the team had begun to lose interest in being involved at that particular location over time because of knowing how he had been. Others had seen and heard how he had chosen to speak to not only myself though the others on the team as well as throughout the pool league well before and well after my personal involvement, as realistically I already had seen the female referee begin to lose her patience with more than just that male as the others who had had entangled himself with began to cause needless problems as well by each individual's choices. Mainly in the beginning the males of such were problematic as they stuck to the bros code while backstabbing one another at the same time, and slowly the females realized there was not the need for such overdramatic aspects from such males as to how such treatments were needless when actually wanting to either socialize and play a game of pool to just release stress from such times because of what precision is needed for the correct types of shots or to work towards actually going forward for such a league competition in a larger aspect without the games off of the table. Personally I hoped such whether female or male would be able to move forward in a more positive way despite whatever the male from the pool league had wished and said he hoped for, though I knew deep inside of him he truly needed to actually see the light as to what was actually important and though in anger I made such comments towards him and his; it did not change the fact of actually hoping for the betterment, in comparison to what he was only wishing for as his intent was not in pureness. I could tell he had been shown only one way to live life and hoped there would be a chance for such a reprieve despite how much he had his attitude though such would be through whichever ways as per such to actually step forward in a far better aspect. However such would be up to him to make such a decision, in comparison to arguing back and forth. The last time I stepped into the location of Fast Eddie's pool hall in San Antonio near #EmbassyOaks near 281 and Bitters/Nakoma Road by the miniature put-put golf course around the end of 2007 because of what was occurring in my personal life regarding what was needed and best for my son and my daughter as well as myself, I recalled such a miniature put put course laughing to myself as to if that was how he had actually viewed the real game of golf in comparison to the miniature put put which was actually meant for children to play in comparison to adults for a different aspect beyond preparing how to take the last final shots for the actual green area compared to the longer shots required. Though I look as I do, I did grow up in New Jersey. Maybe there is someone from the tri-state area who has heard of a golf course somewhere near the area or even possibly within the area of the tri-state area, who could give an explanation as to the reality of how many people I hypothetically knew who actually played golf in comparison to the male who had gone on about how the game of golf compared to the game of pool could be any more different than what I had described. Probably hypothetically the length of the table shot compared to a golf shot would be a good starting point, for an additional example.


I had gone to a mini-put-put in San Antonio Texas #MilitaryCityUSA while dating a married couple as when the time of being what we at the time had called a trupple by my choice of wording as I had also created the term online for such additionally, which when we with what children could go as my daughter was in the hospital as it was after I had disarmed her from the MP firearm she had taken out from the MP's holster when at BAMC as those two had been informed of and knew about though seemingly had not cared and not seen the actual impact of such within my own life for such as most had not at such a time; however certain comments were made about the game of pool and the game of golf, before I explained to those people Joseph and Megan Estes with their older daughter and younger son as my son was with me for the game of mini-put-put. The same individuals regarding the Taco Cabana demand to try to claim that they had any rights to what I chose to do with my body, as well as the discussion at their house before the final end of that relationship, as well as my choice to not attend any events at the usual location I had seen them at during such a time because of not needing the additional wrongful drama when I was still dealing with the fact I had to disarm my own daughter who had put the loaded firearm into my stomach while holding the trigger and pulling on while I did what I could for the safety of in that BAMC hospital on that late afternoon day. However such incompetencies to see or acknowledge such by more within as I had known them via the groups in person to such a time went unnoticed, just as the same regarding the interrogation shortly after that ending of the relationship which Erika AKA Discordia and others were informed of prior to the 4th of July 2012 event at Mike and Patty's as the situations were considered as less important to anything else going on at such a time as what I had been told of. It took over a month to return to that location I had met those people at without the drama at any other location unless those two people had gone running their mouths as per the usual for certain types of people when initially the end of relationship has occurred, as I have learned over the years. As it was learned later I guesstimate, unless you choose to go after my son and/or my daughter and/or I at the end of a relationship there is not the requirement for me to feel of needing to defend myself. If the choice of which is to attack needlessly when I had simply walked away and dealt with the situations on my own, then I will defend myself if there are too many situations which are not acceptable by any standards of human beings which have decency.


Though I do not doubt with certain types of people as to how such antics which I grew up seeing in the latter portion of elementary school into middle school and high school as well as college, had needlessly gone into the general sector of aspects needing the full correction for such as per the realities of knowing I could not be the only one who had needlessly gone through such as well as knowing the reality of others who have refused to accept responsibility needing to be informed as to where they had made which choices to ensure the betterment for if the choice was to attack when I had walked away peacefully; then if the attacks continued and I had to defend myself for the betterment of myself as well as my son #Letters4James as well as for my daughter #Letters4Lidia then the requirements are as the requirements are, once again knowing the facts as to the realities thereof fully in knowledge and understanding with comprehension of not being the only one. Hypothetically if I am accurate to such as proven well before ever winding up in Washington state after being taken to Arizona after the situations at the Cowboys Dance Hall Stoney LaRue concert, such sorts of problems were already going on well before I arrived and I guesstimate well after winding up in the northwest. If for a different hypothetical of teenagers I once knew in New Jersey and/or Illinois having such situations regarding the fact of being moved from New Jersey to Illinois and/or joining the Army branch of the United States of America's Armed Forces, then your unresolved issues are exactly as such; your unresolved issues, as if you had not learned yet when a parent has to be a parent to move a child or children for whichever aspects thereof to be respectful of such choices needing to be made for the betterment if done with proper responsibility. Nonetheless in reference to children and teenagers in schools which others have had to move because of whatever reasons/causes such as a deployment of their parents, the death of a parent/guardian, situations which were/are necessary, employment transfer, and/or etcetera instead of teaching children and teenagers to be spiteful maybe an idea to to teach children to find a better way to learn to cope with such in comparison to forcing your opinions wrongly upon such situations for unless you know each detail thereof for the entirety thereof; the question is who is anyone else to actually truthfully be able to judge such choices in a community type of aspect in comparison to what is supposed to be for a judge to remain unbiased, for various aspects?



Permissions given at the time of by the Dominant Mentor Program officials for the picture of me with my patch, I earned.


I learned of 2 police reports which I guessed were against me in reference to in the Austin community as well as in the San Antonio community of which if such was done out of spite, I would not be surprised if the truth for the overall circumstances were learned of and as to why such was not the way you wished such would go and would be problematic for such others in the communities thereof. It was learned in 2011 an Austin report was filed as well as in 2014 a San Antonio report was filed which I guesstimate the 2011 had to do with HC_Coyote AKA Travis in Austin Texas community who went to #SNAARK in #CedarPark or #RoundRock #Texas as well as other places and events from fetlife in reference to a lawn situation response, and I suppose the 2014 was in reference to the fact of when the people I had allowed to spend time with my son when in San Antonio had refused to pay attention to the realities of what was already explained to the front office in comparison to the staff outside of the office for Thousand Oaks apartment complex in San Antonio; which in turn such aspects however such had gone and went, hopefully my fully innocence was fully proven for such aspects faslely reported against and thus would take other aspects into other situations. If the report in 2011 was in reference to anything involving the adult lifestyle such as that hypothetical, then what was said in front of whomever in such situations after that #Austin police report was made in any aspect thereof; and would such include if reporting on something from fetlife, then turn into an online aspect thereof for whoever had dropped the dime first in such a false report hypothetically? If such had to do with an association to the #DominantMentorsProgram, then who was actually to blame for people getting the law enforcement involved with the adult lifestyle community in comparison especially if such individuals had anything to do with an additional aspect regarding a particular clearance level being blurted out in an event location; to which if so, then who would have had a problem with such people in such regards and who would not care about if as what occurred regarding the aspects as to the interrogation I dealt with at my biological mother and biological father's house by such individuals? Thus if in 2011 the beginning portions were started shortly after Kinko de Mayo in 2011, how much was out in the open before I had wound up in Washington state and who truly had opened their mouths compared to who was blamed wrongly? I would not be surprised if such an individual was involved had used such aspects of the TNG group a part of to needlessly add problems while adding more of the American Mandarin Millennials needlessly to such adult aspects, which in turn such an individual who would easily be entertained by a fresh pair of boobs running around such a location could hypothetically have problems and then wrongly blame the brightest colored hair for such because who else could have been to blame when such a shiny aspect is next to such a dark and grimm individual?


Does a bright color shine more when in the light or in the dark, when considering how colors look? If such had a problem as I was later informed of with such a clearance level individual of Omega, then who truly had been the target if I had been removed from the area and who spent time with who when I had to move back to the DFW area for the ability to take care of both of my priorities while doing the best for myself as well as in reference to San Antonio regarding my same priorities with my #SCUBA Diving gear for the correct location for such; for why would anyone actually think Fort Hood would ever have anything which would be required for what I had actually gone to accomplish and take care of, compared to Fort Sam Houston with the #MilitaryCityUSA of 4 additional military bases and all such connections thereof with the Special Warfare Navy/Marine division next door to BAMC with the #WTU Warrior Transition Unit and Wilford Hall Hospital compared to Fort Hood's location if I am accurate? While Fort Hood has a larger amount of space that is not what was actually required for such gear to be reviewed in comparison however, I guesstimate such arrogances and ignorances would be thought of by those who would be of a field to which mainly males are a part of; wrongly doubting who actually would have always known far better than anyone without such actual training as I had gone through as the egotistical portions of thinking to know anything about, what type of SCUBA Diving I actually had done in comparison to just 1 MOS field type when taking into consideration the multitude of my personal training before as well as after my 26 individual #SCUBADiving certifications. Not to be rude to such however what would a grunt even with Special Forces training ever know of such actual training I had gone through in comparison before and after getting officially involved with my SCUBA Diving training in 2009, out of curiosity? You would only know what you were allowed to be able to think you knew by what I allowed you to know and who you may have met who would only be able to tell you what they thought they remembered from whatever class or timeframe compared to the actuality of the timing for all aspects thereof, that is what.


However if I am inaccurate and such was not problematic, then I apologize as why would any police report in Austin Texas have anything to do with any portions regarding anything which occurred in the areas I normally frequented over the years from 2004 through 2013 in various aspects? Other than the ideal scapegoat for such regards while not taking into consideration other portions until far later, if I guesstimate correctly learning about the filed case in Austin Texas with my legal name which the Mentors Program required the taking a copy of the identification card with the information from both sides in case some was not informed of such through a scanning device attached to Cenna's laptop from what I was told at the Boot Camp registration for the year for the Dominant Mentor Program of 2011-2012. Have there ever been any bitter Germans from the World War II survivalists of such a time frame overseas, who would purposefully target a military associated individual of the United States of America in any hypothetical? Would that then extend to the citizens of the United States of America, if accurate? What in the United States of America could ever cause a problem for such in reference to the Constitutional Rights and/or any other portions, which could be looked into if a survivor of a higher ranking officer or official from that timeframe's regime? What if a cousin, or another type of relative for such? I was told a term which seems appropriate for the situation by my old Pastor McKenzie from Old Tennent Presbyterian Church which almost seems applicable for not only Cactus Jack AKA Jeffrey Kuykendall Jr as well as such regarding other aspects, as he said the term Apt Pupil which seems important though unknowing as to what ever could actually be of any worth to such situations referencing the reenactment aspects as to the World War II choice for him being in the Nazi regime; though his wrongful need for authentic gear, and what problems in such areas of Texas might that be a situation for others to pay a bit more attention to for certain aspects thereof? If, I am accurate of such an oddity of choice of wording from who was said on the phone to have been my Pastor McKenzie though knowing that male had a situation which he preferred to do that LARP aspect with one of those voice changer boxes because of the lack of ability to do anything on his own without any technology as per an American Mandarin Millennial would only know such though the American Mandarin Millennial would not know what an actually truthful and genuine moral compass is for such without the American-born-and-raised Cantonese Millennial unless told of and would only think that going to my biological father and/or my biological sister would actually have given such information when knowing he was not raised in the Cantonese way in comparison to myself. I could easily see such an American Mandarin Millennial thinking the knowledge would be to go to who actually looks more Asian in the more commonly well known features physically, in comparison to who actually had been more the entire time though because of which way the slant of my eyes actually is for such an American Mandarin Millennial would be the failure of such a view; as only Chinese Mandarins and/or American-Chinese or American-Asians with direct lineage to the actuality of such an area through their own visitations to such locations would ever have the ability to genuinely see the Asian features and would know instantly of the middle name portions compared to the legal addition of a last name for legal and/or government purposes only.


I am thankful to know I can truthfully say I have not downloaded any books or other types of media onto any of my computers for the known aspects as to it is better to have the original download from the original source whether such is the link through which if proven through a verifiable website origin such as my Amazon author central accounts or if I had personally sent you the dropbox link on whichever social media website through my verified accounts through being verified through my website accounts with the exception of my CafeMom account, which I cannot remember the email address password associated with to be able to sign in for such a social media account. Thus I wonder if any who actually would have or if would have read such had actually read such through the verifiable sources thereof or if only guessing that the specifics were, despite having not allowed anyone to use such information for anything other than what was stated in reference to my personal intents for such; which did not include allowing anyone to actually put such into practice ever without my permission, as per such being done so in vanity as well as in blasphemy by choosing to use such in a way to which selfishly to bring attention towards anyone other than who had authored such materials in the ways which would have been quite simple to acknowledge if it were done so in truth and without hiding having seen my website and/or modeling pictures which those pictures are not and were not anything more than to be able to know what I look as after my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury once I began the processes of changing my physical appearance to assist my own memory as per the fear I had if I could not see my tattoos as to how much I would forget as I had previously explained to others in person as well as online. If the truth had been apparent for more people instead, would I have had to go through such times in Washington state for the amount of zapping which occurred as well as what was entailed thereafter? Or would it have been as simple as speaking with me and asking if I had remembered them who showed up in person, without any pretenses beyond simply speaking with me telling me how I could have known you or asking if such were? Or was it another test from someone who did not have such real authorities to do so because how dare any female look as I do, and actually accomplish something ever? If following the Mandarin principles of following only the propaganda of what information was considered as acceptable for multiple reasons as per the requirement for what would need to be for those who actually had experience which would warrant such information compared to the freely spreading of such thinking that would be better in comparison to why the Cantonese had chosen such a path, then the portions of such would automatically be lost to such individuals who would have to work triply as much to try to get to the first rung for the ability to realize the requirement for a reset.


How ironic that Department of Defense Secretary of State Hillary Clinton in regards of the lettering hitting the reset button in a public setting with a known misspelling of the symbols, which in some ways could be seen as hidden in plain sight of more around the world having actually paid attention to various choices of whichever aspects thereof possibly; correct? I am still proud of the choice I made despite not being a registered Democrat though being respectful of regarding my choice to fight to be able to join the United States of America's Armed Forces which was in the Army branch thinking that was the location I was supposed to look into referencing the Pentagonal aspects, though for such reasons of understanding what I knew at such times was extremely important to get to the correct people and not knowing the specific location of which group or organization or agency my Grandpa Gavett would have known better as to where I should have actually applied to. I am thankful despite having had to wait until being inside of the MEPS station to be able to speak the fuller truth of such to my reasons why I had fought diligently to be able to help where I could as best as possible, that hopefully someone realized there was more beneath the surface as per the backgrounds compiled thereof for me. I am glad and thankful for being able to join even though I had not graduated Basic Training or AIT, as such aspects were mandatory to look into for further aspects in various ways. I am glad to have chosen to genuinely put political views aside to fight for such because of the requirements I saw, while not paying attention to such actual political views by labels or stereotypes for such at the times; for I know if I had waited until later, it would not have made any difference at all.


There was a television show back when I was in 5th grade which I was able to listen to and watch when recovering while being sick with Mono, Epstien Bar, Bronchitis, Lymes Disease, and the Flu all at the same time called The Dinosaurs; of which in one of the episodes the daughter refused to be married to an individual as she saw better for herself and knew of it needing to be which she went searching for a flower to be able to change what was needed for herself and others, to which I cannot deny such an impact in my own personal life. Later after waking up from my coma after my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury when in a government office there was the song being sung by Christina Aguilera called Reflections, and I was able to watch Mulan for the first time and saw certain similarities despite where I was just a few months before what events occurred which I was made fun of for telling the truth regarding how I would not take from those who were in need of such assistance if I could help such in a safer way. I kept true to such though certain aspects of such books I authored and the one book I compiled with my writings as to why such was released when I had chosen to release such in the manner to which I did, knowing of what the actual implications were if not done in such a manner; however whatever individual made the incorrect choice as to release such without such thought, I cannot speak or write the same thereof for knowing it was done out of greed and wrongful aspects which would not protect the children or the teenagers in the slightest of ways from such a choice when looking at now. I had already warned of the S&M song as well as the 50 Shades of Grey which I saw as bullshit because of the amount of American Mandarin Millennials who refused to pay attention and such an individual who could have been offended without ever paying attention to such implications until too late for such a choice, has to deal with such implications however such implications are. If having to do regarding the release illegally of my intellectual property had to do with whoever wrote such a book series, I only can think of such with shame for the choices to ignore the warnings and ignore the signs without any thought as to such longer and larger implications for more than just your own ego if hypothetically was done in such a way. It is not my fault the choices of others were to be seen through such writings within such a series of books, and it is not my fault your choice to cave to the pressure was what occurred regarding your book series.


Does that make all such better for your ego for such a situation if so, when taking into the additional consideration of the more in depth aspects involved? Or, is it a small consolation prize for what was done referencing the choice to make such options available as had been done and seen by multiple people throughout the adult consenting lifestyles? I explained my reasons in part for why I called such 50 Shades of Bullshit and the choice of such to release my intellectual property without any authority over such legally as per my name being in the title of the books as well as the author section meant you overstepped such bounds, as it is and was not my fault your choice was to use whichever author name you chose as per the ways legal aspects are referencing the publishing legalities known to publishing companies after the Superman comics and why they have pushed for pen author names instead of the legal names for such books for publishing rights to be able to buy if in the specific aspects; however having my legal name in such specifically meant the protection was always guaranteed for my works and my intellectual property rights, which is not my fault if your choice to follow through with such went as it had. However in 75 years maximum time, the book publishing aspects depending upon your copyright contract aspects depends as to how if ever your ability to reclaim if ever allowed for such whereas my rights always have and always will remain my rights in the United States of America as well as around the world into the universe for all of eternity. I am thankful for my rights, as I have always been thankful of my rights. I am also thankful to be raised where I was raised, and I am thankful to be able to have learned as I have learned to do the best to be able to better as best as possible. Though also knowing of other groups which have put on productions who had been bitter because they had known of copyright laws and still allowed what was allowed as per the portions which the YouTube channel for such would not allow the rendition of Springtime for Hitler among other portions for such an event on YouTube from the San Antonio Texas area, though apparently ignored such technology warnings of such infringements; which who would be upset for choosing to ignore such copyright laws when presented with the information about how I was going to perform and what I was going to perform at the Uniform Fetish Ball at the time, using the Swing Dance version from the Denver Mile High Club of the #StarSpangledBanner? How could the band ever have a problem with such anyway when it was supposed to be a swing version of the #NationalAnthem to begin with, and such automatic associations thereof for both aspects? How could any band or group member fail to ever see your ability to be allowed to use the National Anthem of the Star Spangled Banner would come from those who actually earned the right to don the uniform, and how could any band member fail to recognize an actual once had respect for such?


I had actually paid for the iTunes download, for your information so you know, and was why I could not email the song and was why I had to have my own iPod used for the song to be used. In turn your choice to have gone after the area if hypothetically accurate was because of your complaint about the fee I had paid for your song to be used was the problem, now your song is no longer available on for purchase through whatever aspects; which was not my fault your bitterness and arrogance had caused you to kick off problems needlessly hypothetically, especially if you ever had enjoyed or been allowed to enjoy the adult consenting lifestyle. Why would you ever get involved with such a lifestyle if your unwilling to ever actually admit such, though why should you be allowed to regarding such in reference to those particular aspects arrogantly to hypothetically go after me who actually had done as I had done. I suppose, my mistake for ever being appreciative of your song that you were allowed to remake only because of people such as myself who signed the dotted line to protect your rights to ever have anything to do with the National Anthem of the Star Spangled Banner of the United States of America. Maybe however that band had gone has to do with such a choice set made by such as well as whichever group or company involved, if I am accurate. If such had to do with what occurred additionally needlessly for my son #Letters4James, my daughter #Letters4Lidia, and/or I because of the aspects regarding the first male having said he was in a band at a point after who at the timing of as to who I was engaged to; then those aspects of such types of hazing had to be put to a stop for such needless types of situations throughout the adult consenting lifestyle, and how childish and lack of integrity to go after such over such a situation. Again the aspects of the after effects of my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury were well known and in turn such responses for such return actions are warranted, and obviously such if the case did not ever actually care about the people involved the way I had proven to always have cared comparatively. I suppose my mistake for thinking such was ever worth the time to actually create my own routine, create my own outfit choices, and create my own makeup designs for such in comparison to that version of my song. Does that mean all such profits would have technically belonged to the United States of America to begin with for using the National Anthem lyrics as per the author Francis Scott Key and such paperwork is a part of the Library of Congress and could not be purchased, and in turn the legal aspects of the same aspects regarding the illegal sale of medals and ribbons in estate sales to begin with for such military honors of the #USA United States of America?


In such regarding the prior points regarded to in reference to who was once known to me as Joseph and Megan Estes, if the males who went with me to the post office at Nine Lives Books in San Antonio Texas to the post office location on Medical Drive remember the blond male who wore the Air Force necklace lanyard who admitted he had not graduated Air Force training because of an injured knee looks similar to Joseph Estes and/or others had been told of such a situation; then that male has been a situations in regards of such to San Antonio Texas, since the timeframe around 2006, and such needless involvement from such an individual and such biases wrongfully would have needlessly impacted Nine Lives Books as that male complained about how many books Daniel and/or Ken and I would take into the post office because of how well the online portion of the Nine Lives Books was doing. If there was an additional connection to Half Price Books, then whatever such connections could or would be is wherever such would be able to be found by such individuals who were impacted in whichever ways as such and could connect the dots in their own ways. If such is hypothetically the same individual as to the trupple aspect, then if the knee injury from Air Force training was discussed ever at such San Antonio locations; who would be the easiest individual to blame for when the situations in lies were was such, and when those situations did not work out as wished for what would be what response seen which would have actually been more than what initially was known about? I was complained to about a hat he wore in a picture of the trupple together at Sea World because of someone possibly ever thinking of some connection to the company he worked for being posted on fetlife, and the complaint was to put such onto Facebook instead in comparison though already had been done first; however the choice of such a complaint only about the hat, was what I did not know or understand.


Having seen as many people and myself included having purchased merchandise from a company for whatever aspect such as the LeMay Museum or anywhere else, made little sense as to why the problems would have been in regards of what he said was Boeing. If there is a place to purchase a hat with a Boeing logo and that was the problem which caused needless additional aspects I suppose the lack of concern as to having been interrogated by my biological mother and my biological father in San Antonio, would only have been funny and amusing for such an individual; while apparently as I was told later in 2020 of such an individual having made an apology not seen by me, while also having contacted before asking questions though having had the response from Joseph Estes that he had not ever known anyone with the name Lady Dori Belle or my name used as Susan MeeLing. What a liar who wished for a handfasting and was denied, if absolutely accurate and ironic to how such referencing the Fail-Safe aspects of my book in regards of the lack of desire from Rose Fitzgerald to Joseph P. Kennedy as per the refusal to be a part of such aspects and the punishments which occurred and still occur to such an individual. However there thankfully was not and will not ever be a spiritual or any type of marriage to such as wished for, as why would such ever be allowed by the oceanic waters? The answer is, it would not be allowed ever. What proof? The tentacle reaching outward after the call had been made through the energetic portions as to how the situations occurred for such a time, as well as the call when in reference to on the military installation of the Navy and Marine base in Bremerton Washington would be the fuller proof of such. Same thing referencing the oceanic responses when I went to the area along the #SantaMonicaPier in #California, the area in Corpus Christi in Texas to the other side of the USS/USNS #Lexington where I was still walking on the floor of the ocean, as well as in the boat ramp near Georgia's Saint Mary's location, and also #NorthCarolina's oceanic portions regarding when the #BethlehemStar was moving into sight for just a few oceanic responses; though the #GeorgiaGuideStones in #DewyRose Georgia afterwards immediately from my first visit and the #Tampa area in #Florida would be an additional response, for a just in case there was any confusion as hypothetical symbolism for such as the requirement for such was requiring a bit more than just myself putting something on myself which I had already put something there well beforehand to ensure my own spiritual safety quite religiously I must add. If there is an actual interest for such, there is the requirement for in person in comparison and completed by whose actual hand in comparison to my own putting on such. I already had been through enough well before waking up in Texas, which the requirements for what my biological father and I discussed I was not going to go for unless I wanted such for myself was also discussed as per the actual need for such a relationship of such.


However, that is a different aspect to which I am thankful for. I know and knew better to protect myself in such ways, for the first meditation type of ritual I completed for myself over a 7 day period of time. Besides, that does not forget certain aspects to times since then as well as other portions which were in place before ever getting to such a point in time regarding Washington state in 2018/2019 for such specifics.


Laziness from lying does not help truthfully, and cheaters do not prosper in the longer or longest terms ever.

Remember, since I was either six or seven years old I have been giving warnings as to the best of my ability as to the visions I had which began when I was in second grade of Elementary school.  The first warning I gave officially as to my nightmare vision compared to my dream vision was in the year of 1988 or 1989, compared to the online writings and my books as well as my journal blog entries year timeline for the information.


If anyone is upset please direct your upset towards those who had made the choices to constantly needlessly block my warnings and/or try to explain otherwise as to their trying to curb their responsibilities, in comparison to the responsible and respectful choices as best as I could possibly do so as a child starting as to such information at the age of when I was six in 1988 or seven years old in 1989.


I made every attempt to inform as best as I possibly could, though hopefully the clarifications throughout my various books and writings as well as journal blog entries compared to the amount of people in multiple areas which I had spoken with about in person from the years of 1988 or 1989 through to 2012 more continuously before 2013. 


In the year of 2019 is when I began reviewing such details and onward through the years since 2019 more officially, however I made the attempts to give the warnings and what others' choices have been as to whatever proof thereof to who you should be speaking with as to what they told you in comparison as to the upset and anger with in comparison.


How many assistances I have made attempt towards betterment as to the clarifications from the year of 1988 or 1989 onward did it truly have to take for each to genuinely pay attention, as I have been making the best attempts to assist for the best possibilities how?

REMEMBER:

​

​

After the head injury caused a coma while I learned how to deal with the headaches, migraines, cognitive disorders, memory problems, and other medical conditions I went from College Algebra with Trigonometry & Calculus down to 2nd grade math.  Here is how logic works for someone like me::

~  It took awhile for the doctor's recommendation to use sticky notes, to help remember.

~  It took several months to realize sticky notes moved, let alone to remember to speak with the doctor.

~  After I finally remembered to ask the doctor about the note problem, notebooks were recommended.

~  When I could remember to pick up a notebook, it took a long time to learn similar to sticky notes, notebooks are not always where they were placed.

~  After I was able to organize the notebooks over several months I still had not learned notebooks are not always readily available, at the necessary time.

~  When I remembered to speak with the doctor about the notebook problem the doctor had few other suggestions, to assist memories better.

~  After several events and adding up sticky note and notebook location problems, I realized my skin goes everywhere I do.

~  Wanting my tattoos to only be for me and not for public consumption I started the ink on my legs, able to hide easier.

~  It would not be until many tattoos and several years later I would realize my memory problems were usually not as bad when wearing shorts, capri pants, or a skirt.

~  Between 3-5 years after my first tattoo I had the first tattoo completed on my arms, and my memory has slowly progressed towards an easier memory jolt.

 

 

When I say "it should not take a head injury to figure this out" it is partially in humor from personal experiences, towards understanding.

 

If I can laugh at my mistakes after recognizing and dealing with them, so can you.

 

You have the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom I lack in order to put everything together to fix the problems seen with abilities I do not have. 

​

Utilize the information within the blog to find genuine repairs and instead of complaining of the "hurtful" commentary, prevent the issues from reoccurring.

​

Then again, it should not take a head injury to figure that one out.

​

Do make sure to link my journal blog entry articles to yours if you refer to my works for any of your research in the slightest, for proper credit. 

 

Thank you, in advance.

REMEMBER:

​

After the head injury caused a coma while I learned how to deal with the headaches, migraines, cognitive disorders, memory problems, and other medical conditions I went from College Algebra with Trigonometry & Calculus down to 2nd grade math.  Here is how logic works for someone like me::

~  It took awhile for the doctor's recommendation to use sticky notes, to help remember.

~  It took several months to realize sticky notes moved, let alone to remember to speak with the doctor.

~  After I finally remembered to ask the doctor about the note problem, notebooks were recommended.

~  When I could remember to pick up a notebook, it took a long time to learn similar to sticky notes, notebooks are not always where they were placed.

~  After I was able to organize the notebooks over several months I still had not learned notebooks are not always readily available, at the necessary time.

~  When I remembered to speak with the doctor about the notebook problem the doctor had few other suggestions, to assist memories better.

~  After several events and adding up sticky note and notebook location problems, I realized my skin goes everywhere I do.

~  Wanting my tattoos to only be for me and not for public consumption I started the ink on my legs, able to hide easier.

~  It would not be until many tattoos and several years later I would realize my memory problems were usually not as bad when wearing shorts, capri pants, or a skirt.

~  Between 3-5 years after my first tattoo I had the first tattoo completed on my arms, and my memory has slowly progressed towards an easier memory jolt.

 

 

When I say "it should not take a head injury to figure this out" it is partially in humor from personal experiences, towards understanding.

 

If I can laugh at my mistakes after recognizing and dealing with them, so can you.

 

You have the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom I lack in order to put everything together to fix the problems seen with abilities I do not have. 

​

Utilize the information within the blog to find genuine repairs and instead of complaining of the "hurtful" commentary, prevent the issues from reoccurring.

​

Then again, it should not take a head injury to figure that one out.

​

Do make sure to link my journal blog entry articles to yours if you refer to my works for any of your research in the slightest, for proper credit. 

 

Thank you, in advance.

Model Author Susan MeeLing

It should not take a head injury to figure this out because I thought you are supposed, to be smarter.

​

If there are those who find such interesting enough to research further to bring forward more information in reference to the forefront for more detailed information, as usual I request the courtesy of the same which I do in reference to how I refer to articles for reference points when writing my journal blog entries; for each one used for reference starting points, to research for clearer understanding from such knowledge.

 

That is common sense, good etiquette, and good karma; whilst lifting others upward, in positive ways.

Quotes which mean a lot to me:

​

"The ultimate measure of an individual is not where they stand in moments of comfort and convenience, but where they stand at the time of challenge and controversy."

​

​

"We must reject the idea that every time a law is broken society is guilty, rather than the law breaker.  Freedom is never-more than one generation away, from extinction.  We do not pass freedom on through our blood stream because freedom must be fought for, protected, and handed on for the next generation to do the same."

​

​

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.  Though best to be able to share in person with who matters, until that time occurs being able to see what is possible through such is a feat to notice.  One must be happy within oneself prior to being happy with another, though such can be enjoyed if living in one's own truth is as such. and then as to the capability to progress forward with another and/or others depending upon the situation(s) and individual(s)."  ~  A Quote From Me, Reverend Susan MeeLing also known as Lady Dori Belle

Me in Black Suit Prepared.JPG

If in anyway I am inaccurate about anything I have written here in this journal blog entry and/or any prior journal blog entry and/or future journal blog entry and/or factual books I wrote and/or videos I have done through my OFFICIAL YouTube Channel Reverend MeeLing, please only contact me through the contact form for the ability to clarify such details in public view fully to fix and repair to rectify the situation(s) as I do not respond to comments in my journal blogs because there thus far have not been any notifications sent to me about such from my website.


In such references if there are any inaccuracies then I will fix and repair such details on my website, as per such.


Though there are the aspects of which if you would like to speak with me in addition to possibilities of opportunities for me, the welcome aspects as to contacting me through my contact form.



If I have known you in person when in person in positive ways and/or ways which might need clarification(s) as to mature discussions, there has always been the welcome open door policy as to contacting me through my contact form if you were not given my new phone number though such is online regarding my website more recently published online as to my Website Business Phone Line: (360)-713-4937.

Thus far there has been only one who has known the contact form area to speak with me on a phone line was simple and capable to do so through, in truth.

Amazon Author Pages: 

amazon.com/author/susanmeeling

​

​

Twitter: 

@RevSusanMeeLing

@MeelingSusan

​

Instagram:

@lady_dori_belle

@wwwsusanmeelingcom

​

Facebook: 

facebook.com/L.D.Belle

                     facebook.com/LadyDoriBelle

​

Fetlife:

https://fetlife.com/users/484330

​

YouTube:

Reverend MeeLing

The Ornery PSA

Amazon Author Pages: 

amazon.com/author/susanmeeling

​

​

Twitter: 

@RevSusanMeeLing

@MeelingSusan

​

Instagram:

@wwwsusanmeelingcom

​

​

Facebook: 

facebook.com/L.D.Belle

​

                   https://www.facebook.com/FindingASilverLiningSML

 

https://www.facebook.com/LadyDoriBelle/

 

https://www.facebook.com/ReverendSusanMeeLing/ 

​

​

Fetlife as Lady Liberty Belle:

https://fetlife.com/users/484330

​

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel!

Reverend MeeLing

The Ornery PSA

​

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMzYhG_sQtZJul4nMbpatyw

​

bottom of page