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The Ornery P.S.A.
a philosophical-ish
Blog

 

It should not take a head injury
*after personally sustaining a head injury & coma*
to figure this out...

 
 
 
 
 
 


After a Drill Sergeant threw Me into the metal part of the bunk when I was in Basic Training for the United States of America's Army branch at Fort Sill Oklahoma #FortSill #FortSillOK #FortSillOklahoma #OK #Oklahoma in the year of 2000 on Psalm Sunday, I have dealt with the situations as best as I have been capable to do so while taking care of the situations and asking for assistance as per the required explanations of the information to such facts first.  While making the attempts to get assistance for the aspects thereof as to the reality, the aspects of where and when as to the multiple attempts to ask for assistance for me.  As my journal blog for when I was ready to bring such as to my other works forward since as to the lengths of time as to where my modeling was as to the modeling page information, just as the other pages have the information as to such specifics, and just as this journal blog of mine is as to such facts.


If I had real friends (if as to having met in person face to face in person in real life as to the aspects of this particular reference such as from the state of Texas as to the state of Washington as to the years of 2000 through 2013 if I met within the state of Texas for such references), real (the areas of the tristate region as before the year of 2000) family, and real relationships in real life that recognized me as to the aspects of if as to the face to face in person who started in truth as I had started such in truth as to the after effects from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury, as well as the subarachnoid hemorrhage in the frontal lobe of my brain that took 8.5 years to dissipate; then I guesstimate there would be the easier factors as to being capable for me to speak with others in truth in person face to face in person and/or through online measures as to such factors I suppose.  Though would such as to the knowledge of the ways as to how they began such discussions with me as to would there be such a situation, for them to consider as to such if factors as to such discussions with me in truth?


As to some suggestions and commentary within "Finding A Silver Lining" one of several of my bo0ks I personally authored/wrote/compiled as I can only speak and write in truth as per such clarifications as to the reality as to the specifics of such discussions/writings/videos as per my Official You Tube where I have satirical commentary where I comment about the factors as to having dealt with others' opinions about their pop culture references of #NJ #NJstate #NewJersey #NewJerseystate New Jersey, though as to for the most part I have actually preferred to be asked with politeness if as to having read my books and/or seen my website as just the same in reference to the timeframes when I was modeling as to having respect as to what I consider as respect, referencing if as to such polite manners as to discussions if as to such having been noticed because of the factors in my opinion as to having real discussions as communication would be if my website was seen before the year of 2023 as I first began my website in 2015; as in my journal blog posts as to the reality of the years of 2010 through 2013, as to the aspects of introductions as to those timeframes when as to various factors as I did not take selfies as I was actually working with photographers as to my creations of my outfits as per the description on the link to my modeling page(s) as to the references regarding my journal blog updates in the years of 2019 through 2022 as the timeframe onward as to the year of 2023 as to the factors as to how such journal blog entries will be as to such factors as to the aspects of the various topic points.


Go read through the multiple journal blogs on my website after finishing scrolling to get to the journal blog area, now!

Share the links of my journal blog, too!




 I was born and raised in New Jersey and grew up going throughout the tristate northeast areas mainly, and as to how the reality of when the importance of the situations as to the aspects of reviewing as to such facts regarding the logistics for several factors as to the considerations; the years of 2019 through 2022 as to the review process as to the aspects of the timeframe, prior to the timeframe of the 20 year memorial of 11 September 2001 also known as 9/11 as well as before the 30 year memorial of February 1993, as to the northeast areas mostly known as to New York City #NYC #NewYork #NY #NYstate #NYU though also as to the #Pentagon Pentagon, as well as Pennsylvania #Pennstate #Pennsylvaniastate as to the reality of how many New Jersey-ians commute in either direction, depending upon what location for the commute. 


The factors though I have said at times, I re-re-re-re-re-re-grew up in the state of  #Texas #TX #Texasstate Texas as to such factors as to the timeframes, as well as all 26 of my SCUBA #SCUBA #SCUBADiving  Diving certifications I earned were through one school within the state of Texas as I also earned winning first place in a Texas Chili cookoff with more than 20 entries as well as my chili recipe as I am adamant about my recipes as to such aspects just as I am specific as to what it actually takes for me to cook in a BBQ as to the required preparations for when I have BBQed.   



I can sarcastically write, those who know of the Rules of the BBQ as to where I grew up as to the Rules of the BBQ as to such factors to the considerations of such preparations.  However that is to cooking food as to the differences of my journal blog entries, as to the factors as to proverbial aspects of food for thought as the difference of real food in real life as to the facts of the situations to such attention to the details as well as attention to the information.


Such facts as to the metaphors in some of such factors that only after reviewing such information as to the aspects of the fiction book series that were as to for My personal life as to such dreamland sorts of factors as to the differences of such hypotheticals, the references thereof as to such regards as to the logistical emotional with the real situations as per the names I was informed of at the timeframes referenced review as to My journal blog as to the situations overall.  


If as to my journal blog being found and read as to where what I consider as common sense, as to the aspects of my satirical saying   how it should not take a head injury to figure out. 
 

*(sometimes utilizing articles discussing facts)*
By:  (Reverend) Susan MeeLing
also known as

The One & Only


(YouTube)   Lady Dori Belle


 

Business Card.jpg

REMEMBER:

After the head injury caused a coma while I learned how to deal with the headaches, migraines, cognitive disorders, memory problems, and other medical conditions I went from College Algebra with Trigonometry & Calculus down to 2nd grade math.  Here is how logic works for someone like me::

~  It took awhile for the doctor's recommendation to use sticky notes, to help remember.

~  It took several months to realize sticky notes moved, let alone to remember to speak with the doctor.

~  After I finally remembered to ask the doctor about the note problem, notebooks were recommended.

~  When I could remember to pick up a notebook, it took a long time to learn similar to sticky notes, notebooks are not always where they were placed.

~  After I was able to organize the notebooks over several months I still had not learned notebooks are not always readily available, at the necessary time.

~  When I remembered to speak with the doctor about the notebook problem the doctor had few other suggestions, to assist memories better.

~  After several events and adding up sticky note and notebook location problems, I realized my skin goes everywhere I do.

~  Wanting my tattoos to only be for me and not for public consumption I started the ink on my legs, able to hide easier.

~  It would not be until many tattoos and several years later I would realize my memory problems were usually not as bad when wearing shorts, capri pants, or a skirt.

~  Between 3-5 years after my first tattoo I had the first tattoo completed on my arms, and my memory has slowly progressed towards an easier memory jolt.

 

 

When I say "it should not take a head injury to figure this out" it is partially in humor from personal experiences, towards understanding.

 

If I can laugh at my mistakes after recognizing and dealing with them, so can you.

 

You have the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom I lack in order to put everything together to fix the problems seen with abilities I do not have. 

Utilize the information within the blog to find genuine repairs and instead of complaining of the "hurtful" commentary, prevent the issues from reoccurring.

Then again, it should not take a head injury to figure that one out.

Do make sure to link my journal blog entry articles to yours if you refer to my works for any of your research in the slightest, for proper credit. 

 

Thank you, in advance.

REMEMBER:

After the head injury caused a coma while I learned how to deal with the headaches, migraines, cognitive disorders, memory problems, and other medical conditions I went from College Algebra with Trigonometry & Calculus down to 2nd grade math.  Here is how logic works for someone like me::

~  It took awhile for the doctor's recommendation to use sticky notes, to help remember.

~  It took several months to realize sticky notes moved, let alone to remember to speak with the doctor.

~  After I finally remembered to ask the doctor about the note problem, notebooks were recommended.

~  When I could remember to pick up a notebook, it took a long time to learn similar to sticky notes, notebooks are not always where they were placed.

~  After I was able to organize the notebooks over several months I still had not learned notebooks are not always readily available, at the necessary time.

~  When I remembered to speak with the doctor about the notebook problem the doctor had few other suggestions, to assist memories better.

~  After several events and adding up sticky note and notebook location problems, I realized my skin goes everywhere I do.

~  Wanting my tattoos to only be for me and not for public consumption I started the ink on my legs, able to hide easier.

~  It would not be until many tattoos and several years later I would realize my memory problems were usually not as bad when wearing shorts, capri pants, or a skirt.

~  Between 3-5 years after my first tattoo I had the first tattoo completed on my arms, and my memory has slowly progressed towards an easier memory jolt.

 

 

When I say "it should not take a head injury to figure this out" it is partially in humor from personal experiences, towards understanding.

 

If I can laugh at my mistakes after recognizing and dealing with them, so can you.

 

You have the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom I lack in order to put everything together to fix the problems seen with abilities I do not have. 

Utilize the information within the blog to find genuine repairs and instead of complaining of the "hurtful" commentary, prevent the issues from reoccurring.

Then again, it should not take a head injury to figure that one out.

Do make sure to link my journal blog entry articles to yours if you refer to my works for any of your research in the slightest, for proper credit. 

 

Thank you, in advance.

Remember, since I was either six or seven years old I have been giving warnings as to the best of my ability as to the visions I had which began when I was in second grade of Elementary school.  The first warning I gave officially as to my nightmare vision compared to my dream vision was in the year of 1988 or 1989, compared to the online writings and my books as well as my journal blog entries year timeline for the information.


If anyone is upset please direct your upset towards those who had made the choices to constantly needlessly block my warnings and/or try to explain otherwise as to their trying to curb their responsibilities, in comparison to the responsible and respectful choices as best as I could possibly do so as a child starting as to such information at the age of when I was six in 1988 or seven years old in 1989.


I made every attempt to inform as best as I possibly could, though hopefully the clarifications throughout my various books and writings as well as journal blog entries compared to the amount of people in multiple areas which I had spoken with about in person from the years of 1988 or 1989 through to 2012 more continuously before 2013. 


In the year of 2019 is when I began reviewing such details and onward through the years since 2019 more officially, however I made the attempts to give the warnings and what others' choices have been as to whatever proof thereof to who you should be speaking with as to what they told you in comparison as to the upset and anger with in comparison.


How many assistances I have made attempt towards betterment as to the clarifications from the year of 1988 or 1989 onward did it truly have to take for each to genuinely pay attention, as I have been making the best attempts to assist for the best possibilities how?

Day 37 of 60 Days of Thanks Challenge

I am thankful when I went SCUBA Diving and earned my 26 different SCUBA Diving certifications of which each individual SCUBA Diving certification is different than others, with the exception of 2 SCUBA Diving certifications as there is the National Geographic Open Water SCUBA diving certification and the Advanced Open Water SCUBA Diving certification which are the only two which have some similarities to a small degree in comparison to the other 24 SCUBA Diving certifications I earned. I studied on my own without any help from anyone else to make the decisions I made for my own SCUBA Diving as what was needed for myself as well as the people who use water in any way and other SCUBA Divers/snorkelers/swimmers/free divers/etcetera, would be able to safely use water without as many problems. I am thankful I had chosen to enter into a contest when I was in 7th or 8th grade to be able to earn a spot to go the the capital of New Jersey to meet the Governor of New Jersey at the time, Christine Todd Whitman. Despite not having asked the question I had in my thoughts for the situation, I am thankful despite other circumstances as to making the decision to properly and respectfully ask as to a specific situation I noticed regarding several other factors. I am thankful I applied to Marine and Science Technology School with the Navy attachment, and though I was not able to get into that charter school which would be different than the public school which my biological sister would have gone to and my biological mother knew such; even though I did not get passed to go to the school, I knew the need for the experiences to prepare further for what was necessary. I am thankful I grew up learning how to swim in the Atlantic area of the ocean as a child well before ever going to swimming lessons at the YMCA by over 5 years just as I am thankful for the ability to learn the difference as to how to correctly swim in the different types of waters such as the difference between the ocean, lakes, pons, and rivers when I was a child and into teenager years. I am thankful I paid more attention to several specific details of which by the time of my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury even though I could not get into college afterwards which I acknowledged over several years and almost 2 decades now as to the validity for, I am thankful I did go to summer school while going to college at McHenry County College as well as dealing with certain factors of cheerleading; though admittedly, I knew and know, it was high school and people were developing. I did try to keep myself calm as much as I could, though admittedly certain circumstances when it was required each attempt to remain calm was as calm as I could be for such situations.


I am thankful by my own choices for my own reasons far more than listed or written about, I chose to take every possible SCUBA Diving certification course to ensure I fully knew my SCUBA Diving gear so when I would get into the oceanic waters with the additional weight proportions along my body to be able to go deeper for longer amounts of time comparatively; I am thankful, I knew to pay attention to various signs.


I will begin with going backwards as I am thankful to have been able to be at the time the Youngest Polar Bear SCUBA Diver who lasted the longest in the Clear Springs SCUBA Park in the New Year's event for the change from 2009 to 2010, which meant a lot to me especially after certain prior problems from another SCUBA Diver which I will get to handling that situation though I have gone over the perceived insecurities of such a type of SCUBA Diver as to moving another more experienced SCUBA Diver's gear. While there was the Instructor aspect for the time wherever that may have been for someone else in comparison, thankfully I did not see such in that particular way as I had made it known to Patti Stewart of my un-comfortability of that male going on the SCUBA Diving trip in Cancun/Cozumel earlier in June 2009. However being able to have a plaque which I did not get the chance to hang on the wall for a long amount of time as per events shortly thereafter in my house, I still was proud to have done so at the age of 27 as the Junior SCUBA Diver range is different than the SCUBA Diver by age levels as well. There is a reason why the addition of Junior is added to SCUBA Diver for the ones underneath a certain age, because you have to have certain requirements met by your legal guardians/parents in comparison to an adult. The training while a Junior SCUBA Diver is at the depth level they are allowed to go to, adult SCUBA Divers do have more leniency for depth levels because of age as age was supposed to be important for experiences; though I will leave such, as such.


To return back to the land after being in the water for about an hour and a half or so, I returned to who I was engaged to at the time. He looked scared when I came out of the water which at first meaning back then, I thought it had to do with the fact of some knowing I had landed at the bottom of the ocean and he had not been a SCUBA Diver; which I could see how the big brother sort of aspect, regarding such. I do not need to date or be involved with a SCUBA Diver to be in a relationship, as I do not care about that particular aspect for myself. Any SCUBA Diver who would have gotten upset I was not engaged to a SCUBA Diver, think about the type of SCUBA Diver you actually are and think about why I would not be interested in dating the SCUBA Divers I knew at the time; with literally the exception, of only one SCUBA Diver who I was interested in prior to beginning to date and then be engaged to who I had been. If there were SCUBA Divers who had made comments or threatened him on land while I was in the water and then paid attention to his car not knowing I was driving his car when he went to Basic Training, you tried to kill who was driving that car when purposefully moving as you had around and driving unsafely without any regard of who was inside. If you did not have the ability to tell the difference because of the similar-ish haircut and are colorblind or ignorant to have thought of his haircolor being changed only because of spending time with me, if it occurred after the end of January 2010; you made attempts on my life and not his, which proves hypothetically to such as to why I was not interested in you subconsciously. I choose who I date in comparison to any other, and quite frankly other than certain military/law enforcement styles of SCUBA Divers; I am not nor ever have been interested in recreational SCUBA Divers for such a type of relationship, because of the need to be able to trust you would not mess with my gear. Military SCUBA Divers know the importance of that gear and while I would have needed to verify certain aspects, it does not change the fact if I do not want a regular SCUBA Diver for a relationship; I have the right to choose, and you have the need to stay out of my business for I choose my relationship if I want one.


I had chosen to be in a relationship with who I was engaged to as I knew him longer than any of you, of which you would not have ever known such unless you had been stalking me before such a time. I do admit I thought I recognized a specific individual from San Antonio Texas in the neighborhood I once had my house in when in Carrollton Texas, however that was not fully acknowledged when I had contacted him which I will get to shortly. Nonetheless, he did not tell me what you said though he did acknowledge SCUBA Divers had told him they were protective of me more-so than felt as a big brother. I did not know if any other SCUBA Divers looked at me for a possibility of a relationship which I was not involved with SCUBA Diving to get my Mrs as my biological father taught me, well before ever going to what was considered to me as college. I was serious about my education and my work, which is why no one would ever have been flirted with because I was not in a relationship and just because I am friendly does not mean I am interested. Again, there is literally only 1 SCUBA Diving Instructor I was ever interested in throughout the time though because of how I am I was not going to risk my SCUBA Diving for any relationship. Hence while that Instructor may have somehow picked up I had a crush on him, I did not act upon such because of knowing a relationship can come and go depending upon the level; though my education for what I needed would last forever for me, which in turn I needed to focus only on my SCUBA Diving when in classes and when at the water while maintaining in my thoughts what was best for my son #Letters4James and my daughter #Letters4Lidia. If there are SCUBA Divers who have children now or then, why would I not allow myself to get involved with anyone I had known at such times with such a reference?


Thus the way my engagement had gone the first time had ended because of one of 3 SCUBA Divers had assaulted me though I defended myself, of which if that SCUBA Diver had been told to do so by another individual whether to test me or as a game; that SCUBA Diver had been thrown across the room with one flick of my legs, and I do not appreciate anyone who would have thought such to be funny or amusing to ever think to test me. If it was to test my loyalty, I cannot describe the rage that would have caused as I do not care who was before me in reference to relationships as I am me and I am not them. Understand and know, the difference.


Though continuing backwards to the time of my Cavern SCUBA Diving certification which I had to have my buoyancy rechecked because of the fact I had forgotten my regulator even though I had packed everything to put by the front door to leave, prior to my airplane flight car pick up. However since the SCUBA Diver I had met prior who I did not want to go on the Cancun/Cozumel trip had no clue how to keep his hands to himself as well as had been around my keys as well as I had not thought to change the key from the prior owner and she had a problem with how I looked, I could see how such arrogances and problems with Texans attitudes especially after hanging my New Jersey Flag next to the Texas Flag both underneath the American Flag; which such Texan types at such a time in 2008-2009 was prevalent and such a female had demanded to meet me when she learned someone could afford to pay her for the house without her being able to get the bank note information. None of her business and none of her family's business, and in such a situation of that type of person and that type of people who would demand such; I too, wanted to look her square in her and her daughter's eyes so they saw exactly who I was in the title office. Apparently they had an allergic reaction to money and they had an allergic reaction to being a decent human being, if I am accurate as to such hypothetically. I know such old betty types who have nothing better to do because their life was one aspect and they did not teach themselves how to get out of such patterns of behaviour, which I also know the old female was looking at the male next door who had married a different female and the jealousy of such. I had seen such well before Pheasant Creek subdivision and Apple Creek subdivision regarding relationships when living in a house, which is a reason as to why apartment complexes are easier for that sort of aspect compared to if when in a house; in case some people did not know, and some people cared about that sort of aspect. I do not look for a relationship, which makes me different admittedly. If I get into one, then I get into one. I could not care about how others view such of me then, or now. However the POTUS race was going on and how dare someone who looks as myself be a part of the Republican party, right? Or, were there old Texas Democrats who did not know the difference between Northeast Democrats and Texas Democrats because if a Texas Democrat was honest with themselves, they would be a Republican in comparison. However, I could be misinterpreting such an arrogance from certain types of people during such times.


Nonetheless I had to redo my buoyancy test for my Cavern SCUBA Diver certification because of needing to get a different regular to use for the trip, though since that particular SCUBA Dive Instructor had said he moved my faieries and dragons around of my statues in my house; I would not be surprised if he illegally made a copy of my house key, because of the problems in his own psychosis whether before and/or after him catching a venomous Poufy Fish also known as a Puffer Fish; which he did not adhere to the commands of protocol when I went to Florida later, though that is why he should have listened to me despite him thinking his Instructor from another SCUBA Diving group was more important or more work than what I had done for much longer than I ever had a SCUBA Diver certification card. He did not want to respond and because of his choices, the chemicals of the Puffer Fish did impact his brainwaves and cause additional damages to his brain because of the venom and the way the venom went through his body. His choice, his body. I could not make him listen to what he knew he should have done, and now that it is almost over 12 years; it is what it is regarding such for that situation, as life goes on.


As my buoyancy needed to be reviewed because not only of the regulator situation completely changing the buoyancy levels because of never gear on top of the newer gear for Cavern SCUBA Diving, I admit I needed such additional training even though I had my certification for such training. In Florida at the Peacock Springs I and II for my Cavern SCUBA Diving certification course I met several SCUBA Divers from Florida as well as a few who I had not been able to meet prior to the trip, such as the female Cave and Cavern SCUBA Diving Instructor who traveled from Mexico to be able to teach as I thought with the class I was in. The Cavern Excursions location had the owner who had explained his cartography work with another Cave SCUBA Diver Instructor as we as the class had listened, and the male went on about how much he had done which was amazing to listen to all of the experiences he and others had worked on for the safety as well as the knowledge as to the underwater caves and underwater caverns. Though in class I was confused by some information and needed additional understanding from the knowledge on land, however the requirements to learn such details are extremely important because of the failures which can occur if one SCUBA Diver is ill-equipped to do a single task for such. I learned that aspect regarding my choice to drop Ice SCUBA Diving certification, due to the fact I wanted to make sure each portion of what I was studying I could actually do for the safety portions. I pulled myself out of the class similarly to Tri-Mix SCUBA Diving certification, because of the safety requirements I could see and know was mandatory; though I could not understand the arithmetic which in Tri-Mix SCUBA Diving is a highly technical course of training, which is not for the light hearted nor for those who cannot understand the chemical portions to mix accurately.


I refuse to be a hazard needlessly, and I saw such as a large hazard for myself as well as others who could have been in such a situation which SCUBA Diving is already a dangerous aspect because of the water and the gear among other aspects in reference to when going into the waters of whichever locations with me if I had followed through without my personal feeling of comfort levels needed with my own SCUBA Diving for such. One insecure moment can be life altering when in such situations, and one mistake can lead to more problems instead of not. Since at those times I had refused and still refuse to put anyone at risk needlessly, I showed back then my severity of safety for when in reference to my certifications; as per other schoolwork whether before and/or after my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury, though also because of the after effects from and needing to make sure everything was as simple as possible for me and my type of SCUBA Diving compared to what others may do. That female SCUBA Diving Cave and Cavern Instructor I call Carmen though I know her name is not Carmen though I cannot recall her actual name and I spoke for hours, as I had been interested in learning from her as to be a female Cave SCUBA Diving Instructor after earning her Cavern SCUBA Diving Instructor which was after earning whichever level of prior SCUBA Diving Instructor aspects for SCUBA Diving was amazing. I had hoped not to annoy her, though I was extremely intrigued by much of her experiences with being such a specialized SCUBA Diving Instructor as to the levels of which she also did so earning such in another country. Knowing certain levels of some machismo aspects, I was amazed to be able to sit and talk with such a female who overcame much more than many SCUBA Divers. However as a female SCUBA Diving Instructor for the levels of, it took the time from prior SCUBA Diving Instructors who were also females to a whole other level to be able to listen to as I had with each one of them; though such must be honest to admit with whatever levels of a female SCUBA Diving Instructor, male Instructors cannot ever know or understand of the way such goes when going through SCUBA Diving classes.


I know males see a female getting ready in their bathing-suits and have the inability to know just because a female wears a bathing suit for what goes underneath a wetsuit, it does not mean any of the females are ever interested beyond the SCUBA Diving classes. However since some males have that machismo aspect and think they own what they never had the ability to own even with a piece of paper as the ocean is not for a male to own as it has always been called Mother Ocean for a reason, and there is only one Mother Ocean. The first female to successfully land at the bottom of the ocean in 3 locations was always the prophetic aspect of such ownership, and I decided to take it to a different level from what I studied to ensure with the fourth location of landing at the bottom of the ocean as to ensure what is mine remains mine permanently. However in such with females as well as specifically the LGBTQP community, the levels of which certain types of machismo SCUBA Divers is an old aspect which few have paid attention to when only remaining in the recreational aspects of SCUBA Diving. Those who know the rage of the oceanic waters cannot help but to be able to give a metaphor regarding the fury of a female or when a female is in a great mood, depending upon where your boat is in the oceanic waters; compared to a pond, a lake, a quarry, hot springs, a river, or anything which is considered as fresh water.


Though think about the terminology of fresh water, such as you are fresh into the water if such is the first place you ever go into natural water compared to a pool. Ironically I did not technically go into a pool first, though I spent quite a bit of time in a pool at my babysitter's house in New Jersey as they had an above ground pool which at one point when I was around 4 years old and after having been in the Atlantic area of the ocean; I thought it would be cool to see if the males and I could swim around in a circle enough times, to make a whirlpool in the large pool. After they got out and I continued onward as Alejandro and his twin brother who were Nora's two sons with my neighbor Timothy and my childhood friend Damien watched me, as I continued to swim as they got out of the water as they could not handle the level of the waters moving. However Damien did not help with as he stayed on land watching over me, as he knew I had helped him before and did not know how I could swim as strong as I had to help get him out of the water that time. I swam in circles a few more times to get the speed going as they had to hold onto the railing while I simply swam in circles to then get the waters choppy enough, to swim and play in as though I was in a pool ocean type of sensation. Thus, my SCUBA Diving is nothing compared to what some may have thought initially whether male or female.


However the classes went well and I think because of what occurs when I take care of business and in certain areas, she may have seen from behind me as to certain aspects; which is not for anyone to video tape and not for anyone to record, because it is not anyone's right nor anyone's business to. It is not your freedom of expression silenced, it is my Freedom of Expression to express myself as I need to which in turn is nobody's business except mine no matter what some might think they have any aspect to which they do not. I stopped SCUBA Diving for several reasons after returning back to the state of Texas upon feeling such garbage and insults in the Clear Springs SCUBA Park, which in turn I do not have any need to return to such waters. In the state of Texas if in a public place the cameras are allowed technically, however since the membership is required and/or registration to be able to go SCUBA Diving or any type of swimming or paddle boarding; the requirement to legally inform of such due to membership and/or registration is mandatory if the owner of the property area line puts any type of recording device anywhere in the water and/or on the property. Unless the choice was wanting to make such a pool and with what occurred in the lake while I went swimming in 2019 around the week of the 4th of July, I can see those people wanted to make that area a pool instead of keeping a pond compared to the ocean. Admitting my bias and annoyances as to such childish behaviours as to pretend such was unknown, I am not your Mom so grow up. It was none of your business and despite even if you own one, it is still none of your business as to my SCUBA Diving especially as a civilian. There are reasons why there are clearance levels and protocols to follow procedure and choosing to take the advice from a SCUBA Diving Instructor who did not ever accomplish half of what I have done by the time I met him was the most ignorant and arrogant mistake, though proves such points as to why civilians without earned clearances and approval of from a specific individual for such meaning me and me alone; do not have authority to do certain specifics without proper clearances, which that was not a clearance protocol which was followed by such an individual after all of the years continuing as he had.


While I can see how such could be viewed as a book I had written in to send, he as well as you forgot the name of who I was engaged to twice. That was who I was writing about regarding love and marriage as once again, I was engaged to the same male twice compared to that SCUBA Diver. Since I was in Washington state where it was known I was being electrocuted needlessly and in an area which he had already knew I was in as per his admittance regarding Duke's and him saying the seafood portion whereas I only said Duke's is one clarification as to the lack of clearances he had. However Carmen not Carmen would know of such type of male SCUBA Divers and their arrogances, just as other female SCUBA Divers as well as female SCUBA Diving Instructors. How anyone could think that male would be more experienced when all of the problems only began when he was around other SCUBA Divers, I would not doubt if other locations had such problems with him and found a common thread as to such. However again while I had written in part about some aspects, when getting towards the romance-ish aspects such only had to do with who I was engaged to twice with the same sound of a name with a different spelling. That male knew, as he brought up the town which the male who I was engaged to twice's dad lived on the phone; which that male would only know if the other male had sent him and/or family, and/or no one was ever honest with me ever throughout the state of Texas ever. I suppose what Arlee Ermy said in Full Metal Jacket seemingly fits for certain types of people in the state and apparently a large amount of Democrats saw such, and began to move towards the state of Texas to inform you otherwise through their voting levels. Hillary Clinton and such, I can see looking at such SCUBA Diving individuals with the same amount of distain for such levels of male insecurity.


Thus it is not a feeling aspect as I did cry over who I was engaged to, though as both that instructor and I acknowledged about when he wanted to meet at the BBQ place near Carrollton; he was upset I had moved on quickly, as only after I returned from and earned my Cavern SCUBA Diving certification did that male want to meet with me. He threw a temper tantrum and drove away on a motorcycle because he knew I did not cheat or lie, and he was upset I was not interested in restarting that drama as I knew he only wanted to speak with me because he spoke with some people from my SCUBA Diving school who knew I had not lied ever. However they did not know that male and I dated because he did not want to make anything official and because of how I personally am, I am extremely reserved to begin with and if you choose to refuse to acknowledge me; my heart will not be in the relationship to the levels of, simply because of your choice to refuse to acknowledge me as anything except simply just me. Thus the temper tantrum he threw which others probably had seen him do before about other females and male SCUBA Divers and Instructors when he did not get his way, might have been noticed after his failed attempt to try to tell me he thought I moved too fast from the relationship that never was. Not forgetting a message I received on fetlife which repeated such words to me, I knew that had to be him and the ability to reel that garbage in to send to the trash; I knew the type of male he was, as I had seen such before in New York City especially beyond growing up going to school as a technology tomboy in the 1980s and 1990s. I was a tomboy not only in reference to sports, though also a tomboy in reference to technology. I had been coding long before some of the people in 1st and 2nd grade, and they were just getting a computer in school; which while I did not have a video game system at the house, I did go to my babysitter's house who had Nintendo 64 and Sega Genesis when it came out on the market and sometimes before it came out on the market for several video games as it was known to my babysitter's husband and the family overall as to what I was capable of. I would guess if my babysitter's son and daughter saw either that male and/or my dead-ex-husband, they could see a blending of the four within that family in features and how much I had missed them though could not figure words.


However my ex-in-laws knew how much I spoke about them and how highly I spoke of them, before the events in 2001 as well as afterwards. No one except that family and those who knew would have seen such immediately, as even my own biological family could not see that without me pointing such out if taking a look as to how Jose would have looked when he was younger with Sonja when she was younger and the age levels I knew David and Liza at the last time I saw them in 1998 in New Jersey. The sexism was rampant in the 1980s and 1990s among several other aspects, though it calmed slowly up until a few admitted portions seen later. However unlike my babysitter's family, neither male was my babysitters family and I knew such. As none would have put such together without me pointing it out, I would not doubt if there was the arrogance to see something else. I have written of a small number of experiences regarding woodworking, cars, science class, as well as other experiences which I have needlessly had to deal with undue sexism while not denying the racism against me which I have needlessly had to deal with well before my hairstyle and my haircolor mixed with my tattoos. I have not ever understood any who have gone after me for any such aspects when they did not see the long term of any choices or words with my combined experiences known, however such is what it is.


In reference to the aspects regarding the individual who messaged me on fetlife with that comment in private message, as well as the comment and temper tantrum in reference to the BBQ place, Washington state, and more; it would not surprise me if that male had a long history of not learning to keep his nose in his own business, as there was no need for anyone with such a lack of experience to ever take a step towards getting in my way the way my biological mother and biological father with my biological sister had. I had moved on passed them quickly prior to SCUBA Diving and worked with as best as I could after certain realizations regarding them testing the after effects of my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury illegally, as the United States of America's Armed Forces were in charge of my medical treatments and not some random civilians without any actual official work certifications for such or degree for the specific fields as would have been required. Just because there may be a Bachelors or Masters Degree in Science, the field of Science is vast and expansive and the levels of information have changed from the 1990s and before; especially if you willingly chose, not to keep up to date as to the updates of the advances in modern science and technological aspects to the degree once had by some or even possibly earned; however nonetheless, the lack of what was needed for such specific clarifications, arrogance and haughtiness is something I very much despise. Anyone whether male or female to think they knew or know more about my SCUBA Diving in any way without my personal explanations, means nothing to other aspects as those are assumptions and assumptions cause problems. That fetlife message, was enough to send me to a high risk alert to inform others of as much as I could in such times even though I had already been doing what I could for other aspects in reference to warnings.


Continuing to move backwards regarding my SCUBA Diving classes there was a chili cookoff and an Underwater Pumpkin Carving contest which I had won the Chili cookoff, and I took pictures from the underwater pumpkin carving contest for Patti Stewart as she said she was making a class for and would give me the credit though I thought she meant post the pictures online as I was unaware as to what she meant about making a certification class; which I initially posted on Facebook when SCUBA Diving courses, were going on. As the fact several Texans were all upset because I a female from New Jersey had the nerve to earn winning a blind tested chili cookoff tasting which the voting was when you took the spoon of fork to put into the cup of your favorite chili, Patti had to keep my earned win safe because of apparently some in Texas who apparently take a chili cookoff seriously. I obviously had no idea about such and I defended myself, though I doubt those males realized who they were arguing with about my cooking at the time. I have refused to make my chili the way I had before simply because of the rudeness received, and without apology I felt not need to make it the same way ever again; except, for my son and my daughter, when eating together. Any other time, I fully refused to ever make it the same way again out of spite from such a situation. Do not say I did not warn anyone I can be stubborn, as I know I had. I have not had any reason to cook such again that way, and because of the fact that was our last meal as a family before everything hit the fan fully; that has been my protest simply because of such a culmination of events, just to that point in time in 2009. If I choose to put myself on lock, then do not try to pick the lock as you will not get the responses you are wishing for or hoping I could explain as I can explain; though I will purposefully choose to lock myself down, as per what I have had to go through and the reserved aspects as to how I already had been well before getting into SCUBA Diving.


That simply solidified such, fully.


The irony is that male had been able to have a meal I made, though again only after the chili cookoff was when he decided to contact me because only International SCUBA was invited at the time to be a part of the event as I was informed. I know he said he was a carnivore, though it was not ever a thought process as to when SCUBuddah or Billy a former Marine had made a suggestion for me to do the chili cookoff. He a manager of a trucking company in the state of Texas who was informed as to the collision I had helped with regarding the overturned semitruck on the road on I35 on my way from DFW when looking at houses to San Antonio one evening in the late hours after midnight, as I told him prior to going to Florida though who would have cared if someone who is nothing compared to such would go missing. Right? That is a problem, just explaining such. Those behaviours do not only have consequences on land, though also throughout the oceanic waters. That is one of the aspects none realized regarding me, the slightest problems to me means the bigger problems for everyone else. I have warned it is better when I am in a good mood compared to a bad mood, because if I am in a bad mood needlessly I cannot be held responsible for what occurs or who is notified or how.


Mother Nature, Mother Earth, Mother Ocean; the trinity of the 3, in 1 as prophecy had dictated aeons ago.


Certain types of males' egos and certain types of females who think stealing is a better option in comparison to earning on one's own correctly simply did not want to relinquish what rights they did not ever have, and obviously with such attitudes as to refuse to have acknowledged such thus far shows the same patterns of behaviour which are mandatory to stop if you as human beings truly want to go out into space and/or deeper into the ocean. It is that simple, there is not a debate, there is not any arguing, as it is as it is.


However again regarding the after effects of my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury not just in reference to my headaches and migraines though more specifically to the memory deficits, cognitive disorders, and going from College Algebra with Trigonometry and Calculus to 2nd grade math; when writing the letters in the notebook while some factual portions of seeing in comparison to actual and fact aspects regarding my feelings, are two separate individuals being referenced as per the same name and different spelling. I had not thought about the similarities in name until remembering when beginning to discuss certain aspects as per not remembering the male who I was engaged to name when meeting as he was a manager and had not worn a name tag when I met him though spoke with several employees at the NTB in Carrollton Texas, if he remembered I had needed him to repeatedly tell me how his name was spelled differently on several occasions, as well as my responses when initially hearing him say his name. I told him why I had an issue as per the situation while not going into the details as to the fact of such an individual not having followed protocol when I went to Georgia and Florida, while also laughing about the name of the SCUBA Diving store as per the personality traits found as per such a male as shown; as he was informed between the first and the second engagement of the truth about having kept the promise ring he gave me before leaving to go to Basic Training, as I told him I threw it into the river after hearing a song which reminded me of something when we were engaged prior to having to end the relationship because of what happened when he went to Basic Training. I had not told him I had purchased the corset I had custom ordered for the time when we would get married then or after we were re-engaged, as I was nervous he was playing a trick on me after not being able to attend his Basic Training and knowing what Drill Sergeants can do at times when in regards of females who send a letter during Basic Training or AIT training or overseas; even though knowing fully well, I had not done anything which such had occurred regarding of. However since my biological sister and biological mother had not told me as to who to contact to explain the forced relationship I had been in that they knew was as such per both males' explanations as well as mine, the San Antonio Express Newspaper article would easily have made such available for all sorts of misinterpretations as they did not go into all of the details including much more which I apparently had to clarify to those throughout the state of Texas as well as the United States of America and the world; as apparently no one before in a larger way beyond myself would research more in depth to ensure the validity of articles and books, as I learned later as I was made fun of for not believing everything I read in the newspapers as knowing a few journalists when I was growing up in certain locations on the east coast. However I thought by the time of 2008, people were more intelligent than to only believe one aspect without finding the connecting aspects in between.


Nonetheless that male did not know I had kept the corset I had custom ordered and was thinking of additional pieces to add my own flair including the bottom portion of the skirts I was looking to have for the wedding itself, the walk into the reception, dinner, as well as the first dance to include the rest of the reception with each pair of matching shoes I was looking to coordinate for such. After the end of the second engagement, I had too much to stop to go into too many aspects of my personal feelings about how heartbroken I had been about the end of the engagements at such times and pushed all of my focus even further than it was into what was needed for my daughter with that situation what was needed for my son because of the combined and myself to maintain myself and my own sanity as per the combined overall. I did not have time to focus on a relationship to the level of which I would have preferred which I did not hide from any male or female I had dated, which includes the married couple which I dated both. However after the male was mad because I refused to have sex with him only because he and his wife discussed though had refused to speak with me in both together discussing, when he threw a temper tantrum about the choice I made for myself; I gave one last chance for them to fix it, or I was done with them in such manners and ways. Joey and Meg Estes knew I was in the lifestyle scene throughout the state of Texas and instead of being a bother by going and speaking anything about them or that situation, I did not discuss anything thereof as it was over fully and I was not needing to discuss anything. As per prior situations so long as you do not attack me when the end of the relationship goes, I will keep myself taken care of; however the second you come at me in any way after I had the decency and respect to leave you alone, do not be surprised when you gas light a situation and do not pretend you did not gas light it. For example I was told in a message recently as to a garbage apology from such regarding Joey referencing the end of the relationship which I did not discuss, though the 4th of July situation in 2012 was his and Meg's fault solely because of the female Discordia or Erika getting involved about their feelings; while ignoring the fact I did not discuss anything regarding such, and then as such occurred such occurred. I had not attended any event in that place I met them at for over a month to be respectful to the owner of the house as well as to the others in San Antonio BDSM/LGBTQP/Swinger communities as per knowing how such lifestyle aspects can be blown out of proportion, and I did not have the time nor the patience for such. A male named Wesley who was in the San Antonio Pagan community as well as the BDSM community had arrived shortly before Joey and Meg and I began dating, though they did not pay attention to the fact I told them his parents had owned a house in the same subdivision as my house in San Antonio and were on the Homeowners Association Board for Pheasant Creek.


However whatever occurred because of their own problems and their own insecurities about themselves and their relationship had bled needlessly in the dramatic aspects, which I simply did not have the patience for with everything going on in my life which they all knew about. As per the childish aspects of not growing up out of high school or middle school or elementary school depending upon, the level of which I went to simply go on with my own life apparently caused a few tantrums to the point of which because of Joey, Meg, and Discordia with Charles; I had been bull rushed in a similar way as to when I was left unconscious in the backyard in San Antonio, though what did it matter to them? They preferred to play games seemingly, even as I contacted Joey and told him exactly who I was; he said he knew no one with that name and did not know who I was. I suppose, how accurate and true. My mistake for ever thinking there was something of truth, especially upon return to Texas in 2019. The excuse of wanting more information by choosing to forcefully ostracize me yet again from the community shows exactly how callous such individuals had been, as well as continued to be in my opinion as it was known to the level of what I was dealing with regarding my daughter and my son.


What did that matter? I am sure they were not able to ever find anyone else to replace what I had been a part of in the ways of which I had been a part of, and that is quite simply fine with me. I am a Dominant, and that is the end of that.


If you choose as a Dominant knowing you are in the wrong to refuse to be truthful, then you are not a Dominant. A Dominant will choose the correct choices for the best possible outcome with the least amount of damages to as many as possible when in a larger aspect, to ensure no one else as best as possible is impacted needlessly because of safety precautions needed and required. The choice for any claimed Dominant to expect anything less than such, then why would you ever think you could ever handle a submissive?


However, such is my opinion.


Maybe I suppose Responsible Dominant, is a better set of word choices for such. Correct? Better word(s)?


Now in reference to the aspects regarding the SCUBA Diving at the General Hoyt S. Vandenberg in August 2009 which ironically the year aspect and a specific date as well as my birthday of additional ironies for those who know symbolism, and the portions regarding the male who I was assigned to for the NITROX SCUBA Dive I had registered for which I had told SCUBUdah or Bill or William Stevenson of the Stevenson company as he is a son of the owner as well as a few other SCUBA Divers in the International SCUBA Park. Though Billy had admitted he worked for the company and I had told him about my SCUBA Dive plans to go out to the area after telling him about the semi-truck incident, I admit there was an individual who had been assigned to me during the Boca Raton Florida out from Parrot Bay area to go to SCUBA Dive which noticed I was leaking bubbles when we were surfacing from the area. As the SCUBA Dive gear I had arranged prior to leaving from Texas and rechecked in Georgia after catching my ex-sister-in-law Mary Evongelina Osteen maiden name Nichols, had been caught closing my SCUBA Diving bag and holding something behind her back. I told her to leave my gear alone and get away later though at the time, she had told me she did not think my son and my daughter had needed to see me SCUBA Diving at the Georgetown Aquarium because she said she thought that would scare them. With the history she had of pulling out firearms needlessly for fun to point at the head of a male she invited into her house to use the phone after he had been in a collision instead of bringing the phone outside, she fully invited the male in and because of how I know her to have been from prior descriptions from my dead-ex-husband her dead brother which she perpetuated the known stolen valor in comparison to me; she had additional prior situations which she purposefully chose to put others in danger needless to what was occurring because she thought it was fun. For example the sexual assault she had done to her dead brother when he was alive, the sexual assault to her sister, the sexual assault to her older brother knowing he would not tell, the sexual assault to her cousins, and etcetera among several other situations such as the biological father of her first born being denied the truth as she and her sister had discussed in the front yard just a few months prior to the McDonalds Birthday party for my son which her sister had gotten into fight because of the time regarding the birthday cake. Whereas I had made the choices I had to help, the situation by those ex-in-laws of mine who did not ever have any authority nor any rights to anything and were upset of being denied having their dead-brother's picture in my house in any place other than I put such. Mary had thrown a temper tantrum similar to the male SCUBA Diver when denied at the BBQ place when I told her there was no need for that dead-brother's picture to be inside of my bedroom where I would see the ugliness of her and her family's shame for being as atrocious as Grandpa Nichols had also gone into many furthered details as her brother. Tony Walker Nichols had to leave Georgia because of Mary choosing to tell the children to go run and play around his car after he had already left the house to just get a nap, and instead of leaving him alone as she did not know how to stop herself so she needed to be stopped; Tony left Georgia after just arriving less than 3 hours prior from Oklahoma, to leave to go back to Oklahoma because he could not stand the sight of her.


He and I had gotten along as his wife and I had, for some time. I am certain if they were to learn of the checks I had given them were not cashed correctly because of my ex-in-laws' hypothetical involvement after the time at David's Basic Training graduation at Lackland Air Force Base just a few months before 11 September 2001; I can say if my identification card was scanned, that was the start for 11 September 2001, in a different signaling method because of such a type of person to ignorantly steal from the wrong person as per my clearance level being triggered and the button being pushed for such a sleeper portion of technology. There are reasons why people should not hack technology, and that day is one which you should have thought to be better people afterwards instead of going on and changing for a moment before returning to your same patterns of behaviour. Artificial Intelligence continued being pushed forward and whomever made such choices as they had from 11 September 2001 onward was the beginning of the marking of each and every individual fully, as the technology was at the correct point in time for such a sleeper portion to be pushed by one simple stupidity of a mistake hypothetically. With the addition as to other aspects regarding what my biological had been involved with when at the time I was a child and teenager, the mistake my biological mother claimed I had been was not as she had needed to truthfully explain to others in such references.


As civilians without any level of clearance for a specific sector as well as an overall aspect the portions of which the reset button had been pushed for the United States of America as per the Constitutional Rights, had been revitalized to bring forward the justice many had been looking for for many aeons and the fact of certain specifics which would have to be in order to find the one Messianic individual throughout the entire United States of America had begun officially. Those in the know of that particular aspect of prophecy were already on the lookout though they had not gathered all of the information as of yet, though because of the way technology had been programmed back in the earlier portions of time regarding the 1950s into the 1980s just before I was born as well as began as I had in my life; the footwork had already been laid and planned out for certain specifics, around the United States of America for only one person to accomplish; and if such an individual were to truly exist as admittedly such individuals were on the fence as to whether or not Divinity truly existed, the proverbial rat race to find the Messiah began officially in the late 1970s as there were those who knew it was just a short amount of time to the new millennium.


As my ex-sister-in-law Mary Evongelina Osteen, Susie Marie Nichols-Lopez (now Sweeney or something like), Lydia Evongeline Nichols (?unknown surname?) AKA Grandma Nichols, and their children all refused to obey me after being warned to not put anything into their dead-relative's casket; as the same regarding my biological sister Patricia Ann(abonimation) (Hom-) Miller (if the hyphen was dropped) and biological mother Anna Louise Hom regarding the wedding which they refused me at, those people's spiritual marriage to my dead-ex-husband had begun officially as per the day such choices were made, by their own free will. My ex-in-laws decided they wanted to take pictures at the funeral and all I could do was laugh at my ex-in-law's follies in front of their face, because I could not believe what I was actually seeing from people who had studied the Bible and yet, could not care about the ramifications. I warned them as I reminded them of all that I had done to make sure instead of doing what I had wanted to do to that remains, I chose to allow them what I knew Grandpa Nichols personally needed. When standing with him at the casket and watching him place the Yammicah on the head in the specific colors and looking directly at me afterwards, we stood together looking silently quietly knowing and the same in reference to my ex-brother-in-law Tony Walker Nichols. It was permanently sealed as soon as the final portions went and the only way to undo such a situation to my ex-in-laws and their daughters and their grandchildren as well as my biological sister and biological mother, is the first step of first removing all pictures they promoted with that stolen valor immediately to remove if in reference to promoting stolen valor in comparison to promoting the end of stolen valor. Not one of their pictures from their dead relatives stolen valor uniform which Grandpa Nichols called in a favor for, can remain in any format of any type including stone as per David Osteen who is Mary E. Osteen's husband and father of Sondra Marie Osteen and biological father of Ariel Marie Osteen's friend or associate who had been commissioned to make a stone piece made of black granite type stone with a laser print and each thereafter fully prior to handing over the Bronze Star Medal and Commendation to me to give to the Army of the United States of America's Armed Forces as they are incapable to properly do so because of such pictures and the lack of the Executrix ability.


Thus if the ex-in-laws actually tried to though not only because of the stolen valor though also because legally they had no authority to do so yet again, as not even my daughter would legally be able to do so because of the fact of me being alive when her dad died and would cause more problems needlessly for them trying to circumvent the realistic portions. Thus if they lied about my death because they thought they would be able to get credit, they would be forced to deal with all circumstances permanently into their grandchildren and great grandchildren and so on into eternity. If the Army received such under false pretenses as they legally had no authority ever which was a stipulation from Grandpa Nichols by trying to circumvent the favor he requested of me, then there is nothing except the pictures being taken care of which can be helpful to anything for a small way to find a silver lining for themselves after they have in person apologized. If they choose to remove pictures from the stolen valor prior to apologizing in a formal way, then they will deal with the repercussions as needed as it is in their own internal clock DNA compared to their actual blood at such a point.


There is no love lost for such types of people, as I truly have despised those Nichols since they had allowed their dead relative to treated each of my son and my daughter and myself the way they have. The shame of such for those who tried to circumvent my authority, is something which has been unacceptable for a long amount of time and those who try to do so have learned it is best when taking my advice. The fact I had to defend the Chief Warrant Officer 3 is the reason such cannot be circumvented ever, as I was the only one who had done so; just as I was the only one who had thanked the 21 Gun Salute soldiers as well as informed them, and just as I am the only one who went up the Chain of Command correctly and did not lie to anyone ever. There are more reasons as to why it can only be done in a certain way, one of which is I am the one who made the ability for them to even have such a funeral. Trying to lie by covering up the truth as to why traveling does not count and would not ever be accepted and would be refused on sight, which if there was a failed attempt to cover up and lie to my face when seeing them at Christmas time; well, then you have an extra gift for you Nichols waiting. I refuse lies and with my Medal of Honor Art Project historical and spiritual rubbings for my Medal of Honor Art Project, you my ex-in-laws did not ever stand a chance. Grandpa Nichols warned you, of the 3 and the 5 Ps.


My ex-sister-in-law and my ex-mother-in-law did not heed his warning, and now you suffer until the release of your death if you choose to not do as ordered and commanded. If done already the only saving grace which you might be allowed, is all of those stolen valor pictures everywhere you ever put them in the physical and/or in the digital to be destroyed yourself and not by anyone else. If other people had to come in and destroy such as in even a single piece of such, you of those whoriffic individuals of my ex-in-laws will not be redeemed ever and it does not matter if the daughters change their last name from the Lopez aspect because your mother decided to do as she did. As an additional insult as my ex-sister-in-law Mary E. Osteen had enjoyed playing games with people she did not like or approve of in the BDSM/LGBTQP/Swingers lifestyle if she felt the slightest bit of competition whether or not there was any, her choice to call me a slut when asking for help and assistance for my daughter and my son would be the reason as to why you would not be allowed to go around me and have any spiritual cleansings no matter how much you wish you could. Bow down on all fours if you are in any area of me when I am about, so I know who you are officially. If I allow you to stand, I will inform you by telling you personally to stand.


I have lifted others upward despite having to protect them in ways which words could not fully express because of a multitude of reasons, of which despite words and ironic timing thereof when taking a loot at timelines of events; I will lift up who I choose and deem as such, for they had suffered needlessly long enough at the hands of such types of people. I suppose in such references I cannot call such people or even human beings, though in my opinion I suppose I can label such as those types to be simply called 'of humanity'; as you are of the human being DNA, though the rest of you is what it is. I do not blame those who did not know of such individuals though knew of such in existence, I solely blame them. Rightfully so, in my opinion.


Regarding the Vandenberg SCUBA Dive which of course my ex-in-laws would wish to defraud the system as I was unable to be reached because of how I wound up in Washington state, which why would they have my social security information unless they stole my original military identification card or if they had someone break into my house and steal such or a hacker; which in turn the illegal aspects thereof, and I am not interested in their apologies.


I am only interested in pure justice, and pure justice alone regarding such for the past 21 years.


How is that, for a 21 Gun Salute?


In regards of the Vandenberg SCUBA Dive I went on the male who was assigned and was yelled at in front of everyone on the boat for his failure to keep other people safe because of his choice to join and tag along a tour guide group instead of following proper proceedures of protocol to return to the boat when not seeing me as I was the only other person who had a NITROX tank from the boat who had arrived first, the excuses he tried to give were muted and he was upset because of being told of what type of SCUBA Diver he never was and had the nerve to look down on me because while he had said he SCUBA Dove for 10 years; that meant nothing compared to the training and the irony if such an individual would have any type of college degree, the pathetic-ness of such additionally to fail to even follow through with such simple aspects which if so and had additionally needlessly caused problems because his feelings were hurt instead of getting better to choose to come after my son, my daughter, and I over the years as well as anyone associated with; you know I am protective as per the scolding you got, and do not think to be arrogant enough that you would be forgiven without an apology correctly. Do not ever try to circumvent what you know you should be correctly doing as half-a$$ing only gets you in trouble for eternity.


Who would be so arrogant and haughty, as to try to circumvent Divinity? Apparently not only my ex-in-laws or my biological parents and biological sister, I suppose.


Wrongly, though nonetheless.


In reference to the BDSM/LGBTQP/Swinger lifestyles and those who were needless impacted though hopefully were able to get to safety, there is an Eminem song in specific of Not Afraid though a few additional ones which may assist understanding a bit better as to each warning I made every attempt I possibly could to explain as well as warn while dealing with everything which was going on. If you were confused, how do you think it was for me during such times more specifically from 2009 through? I did everything I could to attempt to explain and when having the realization of how many could be impacted the only option I saw left, was the IRS form. Admittedly from however long such was occurring as to people messing with my medications on top of which as has been seen and admitted about by some through whichever means as they have including the stolen bag of prescriptions with my first aid kit from my car when I had first moved into the Lodge at Madrona Apartment Complex and only that particular bag, I no longer take prescriptions as per the requirements as such types of addicts are not ever worth any time as I caught my biological mother stealing from previously among catching Alicia as well doing such. That would be whichever times regarding others depending on, though only 3 males I had been involved with had not ever asked me to get any prescriptions further; the male SCUBA Diver who caught a Puffer Fish, the male I was engaged to twice, and the male who I had brought back to life.


In reference to Wesley from the San Antonio Pagan community who had been at a few events at Mike's house was the individual from the apartment complex I wrote of regarding looking upward from his car in the parking lot outside of the gate where he was meant to stay, as he at the time in 2004 regarding involvement with some members of what was left of the Jade Wolf Coven when arriving at Mike's place in 2012 together; that male had said his mom and dad owned a house in Pheasant Creek subdivision and was on the Homeowners Association Board, when on one single date after speaking with Dee when she was still involved with Joe Rose. Sombie online if I am correct as to fetlife to Wesley had said the male Joey had supposedly made an apology which even if he did he denied knowing me which is ironic when thinking about how after getting back to Texas the supposed aspects thereof, despite having been the cause of much of the drama on 4th of July in 2012 because of he and Meg feeling as though I was having fun on purpose despite them. That was not the case as that day I wore my prescription sunglasses and had my spare pair of regular glasses in the car, as I did not want to wear my eyeglasses nor did I want to wear my contacts because of the level of my headache and migraine pains just on that day. I had not ever found my prescription sunglasses afterwards and I do not know where I left them, though that would have been literally easy to see how I could not ever have seen those people. Since the situation regarding the one date and the psychosis of feeling the need to stand outside of my apartment to wait until I went outside to speak with me after only one date, the psychosis of the male SCUBA Diver who refused to follow the commands regarding the Puffer Fish catching and only being unofficially and not ever fully involved for less than 2 months, the two who wanted to be a power couple individually regarding not the same exact type of relationship though discussions of what they spoke of regarding this reference, as well as Joey and Meg Estes who were only dated less than 3 months and in such the psychosis of thinking how they could ever have the wish to control anything is ridiculous and horrific to know such occurred regarding Joey and Meg Estes in the Military City USA of San Antonio Texas and knowing Joey had failed to graduate Basic Training because of a leg injury to occur in such a radicalized islam sort of aspect disgusts even further to me if especially Joey and Meg Estes ever went further to cause needless additional problems as they had been told of and had read what I was posting to keep those who needed assistance and to find hope for their children to not have to suffer as mine had. If such were the case regarding Club Sapphire and a couple who one female looked similar to Meg and the other a female version to look similar to Joey, the disgrace and disgust to have sent such to me and think that would make anything other than the ground open up for the fullest release of spirits into the world knowing of my Medal of Honor Art Project.


Who else would have an additional problem as to not getting anything and yet being a cuck-hold essentially at the same time, for such a view?


I did not want such regarding an individual who would ever cause problems needlessly to my son, my daughter, and I; though I suppose no matter what if I am not willing to be in a relationship with you in such a way, by choice as is such.


If the refusal of me is that much preferred then realistically, who do you think your preference is? Your preference is my dead-ex-husband at that point and if your preference is someone such as that, then I cannot help you at all if your preference is that individual's choices and behaviours and length of time. Think about what he put my son, my daughter, and I through and if that is what you prefer yourself to be as and more closely aligned; just remember, how the short term was, and then the long term prior to making such a decision for the longest terms possible. If that is who you prefer to emminate including the male SCUBA Diver who was yelled at on the boat for being irresponsible as that would be a temper tantrum that male had thrown because I refused to assist any further regarding the breast cancer research design I arranged and I came up with the chemical compound for the medium used as well as the procedures involved and wrote the dissertation for more than three quarters, then you yourself have to think about how that will go regarding my SCUBA Diving and gear. The same referencing each aspect which should have been acknowledged years ago and first beginning in reference to my SCUBA Diving certifications referencing the specific oceanic SCUBA Dives starting out from Texas, then Mexico, then Florida and such types of information. I should not have to go to others for such when you think about it as was it not enough of a distance to travel both before and after all the work I had already done, or are you being selfish and trying to think that would be a better way than to do as should have been done in Texas to begin with? Does there not happen to be anyone who knows how to use email, a cellphone, a message system, and/or the postal mail to send such information or am I the only one who knows how to use such?


If that is the case, then I can see why I cannot get into college. Maybe I saw it the incorrect way, as ironically being too intelligent for and far beyond already in my ExpertiseS. You know, even the Dali Lamma is brought gifts in reference to visits from others, not the other way around.


Etiquette, is extremely important to me. If you do not know, then ask the only one who can actually answer your requests for such as to the proper way to do so via writing as has been put into writing previously for you to properly know how to do. Follow the directions, should not be that difficult. Thus if the most simplistic ever way is to write a message and send via the internet as is the fastest way, then apparently everything I have done has been at speeds which catching up was a difficulty as literally there is a message system on my website. Etiquette.


If I can follow protocol procedures after my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury after effects, as well as the after effects from the specifics of other aspects; then what is the problem with anyone else following simple procedures? Have you asked others about my stuff and yet not thought to ask me specifically? Why? What would they know, about what I did? Do they have my training? No. Do they have what my past is in reference to who to speak with if they are alive? No. Do you know who to speak with regarding other portions referencing what is not in The Blue Book Project though was in, The Big Blue Book? Not unless General Hoyt S. Vandenberg himself spoke with you, though he died a bit ago.


Thus to get answers in an honest way if you refuse to say such in person while being disrespectful as would be seen when knowing of such realities, then who is it that feels the need to have any information of anything if simple protocol has not been followed by my standards?


Who would ever think they could tell anyone what to do regarding the Bronze Star and commendation, without the full amount of details to do so correctly? If there was anyone thought of other than specifically asking me in person and not through a third individual as that is not nor has ever been allowed, then the failures upon your part for being arrogant enough to think you could circumvent my authority by ever going to a minor child such as my son and/or my daughter; of which neither ever had been explained where the details would have made sense for such and even with the known stalking and harassing which law enforcement has still yet to remove the situations of such problems as I have seen; then you would not know the simple steps in the numerical order as to which way what would have had to be done as you would have thought listening to me would give you everything you wanted and yet the reality is you had gotten nothing you actually needed to do such properly. Have I ever put into an itemized organized list as to a way to tell if you want to know how to do something regarding me, which you could look to an example for? If so, then the signs have always been there and you chose to ignore such warnings yet again. Even on my fetlife profile writings with the specific link to the correct numerical link number per my name as I know someone stole my name of fetlife and have chosen to do as had been done ironically only after speaking with a male named Ken or SA Ferret like a weasel, who would have been the only one who knew I changed my profile name by me telling him as such.


How did that go after being lied to in my apartment with my Medal of Honor Art Project pieces completed, which you could find a commonality between another who had done so though in Washington state?


Is that enough proof, do not lie to me yet? Or do you still wish such was a coinky dink only, and nothing more than a mere happen stance which occurred when doing so? When was it? After holding the artwork from my Medal of Honor Art Project book and he was a semi-truck driver for which company, as as he said he knew of Billy from the Stevenson contracting company? I am sure they took care of your mom and your dad's funeral well, that was extremely kind of them.


I could be a bit tired from quite a bit of aspects especially coming back after the knowledge of which the amount of zapping which occurred, or electrocution which occurred to me. Apparently some did not think I had suffered enough regarding what happened to my son, my daughter, and I. Well, now that the cards have been shown on the table and I have the Two Pair or the Royal Flush maybe it is time to get the proper aspects correctly taken care of. I do admit sadistically, I have a new appreciation for the saying from former President Ronald Reagan about time and clocks. Though I am in a mood as the air conditioner coldness as per the same regarding the coldness in Washington state to the point I had to wear 3-5 heavy jackets and coats to stay warm, though that concern from those would be as it would be. I said I had issues and problems with technology and as GeekSquad has the records of the 13 laptops from 2006 through 2013, I told many I did and could not ever tell a lie.


Why other than the beatings I received for my biological sister lying about me for years when growing up in New Jersey, and later in Illinois? Other than I knew I was not the only person who had others lie about me and such, I would not want nor need such done to me and thus why would I ever do such to anyone else? I thought such was considered as compassion and care with genuine concern, though I suppose maybe the time has come for a different view point all together.


Hey, what is it like to have people tell you the truth? What is it like to have someone who genuinely cares about your well being in comparison to what has occurred, especially since waking up from the coma from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury? What is it like to actually be able to be with people, instead of being ostracized? What is it like to be given the credit without hesitation when the credit is due, simply because of the credit needing to be given for the proper aspects of? What is it like to not have to deal with liars, cheaters, thieves, adulterers, coveters of what and who is not theirs, blasphemers, murderers specifically in reference currently through lying about who one is to another or stolen identity/name, and etcetera? What is it like to actually be given what is deserved and earned from the genuine work done? What is it like to actually be allowed to be happy without strings attached? What is it like to receive justice from all the wrong doings arrogantly done in vain, and haughtiness? What it is like to actually feel as though anything that was done had mattered, especially when evidence has been brought forward repeatedly? What does it feel like to not be judged just because of how one looks, or a part of whichever community once, or what-have-you? What is it like to be taken seriously, despite such aspects? What is it like to not be taken advantage of? What is it like for intellectual property rights to actually be adhered to as well, or at minimum credit given for such where earned?


By the way additionally specifically for those who were able to have their children in their home together to the minimum age of 18 years old, what is that like? I suppose thanks to those who decided to stick their noses into business which was not theirs to get involved with regarding my son #Letters4James, my daughter #Letters4Lidia, and I; I will not ever know because of you each one of you, who had denied me of such. If that is your preference, is that your actual preference?


Those of you who actually come from and are in a loving family on a constant basis, what is that like? In reference to relationship aspects, what is it like for someone you are with to actually be faithful and stick with by your side in person without being afraid or hiding simply because you are yourself? If in reference to a familial aspect, what is it like to have parents who are not ashamed to acknowledge your existence? If in reference to friend type of relationship, what is it like to be able to actually be proud of such because of despite whatever not caring what others think? In reference to the aspects of relationships regarding what is known as love, what is it like to actually not be pushed to the side or hidden?


I honestly do not know, though hey. You can be thankful for those who you have who have not denied you of such, I suppose for now I can be thankful for breathing.


I do have to ask this of SCUBA Divers specifically, what is it like to not have to have anyone touch or move or mess with your SCUBA Diving gear before or after SCUBA Diving? What is it like to actually be able to know, justice occurred in a different way since so many prefer the law aspects? I mean, I am accustomed to the laws of the ocean in conjunction to the laws of the state area-ish of the United States of America and thus maybe I am missing information as to what justice is supposed to be in this era. I suppose social media justice has been the only justice other than the oceanic justice, I have known thus far for anything and/or everything I have personally gone through on my own both before and after giving birth to my son and my daughter. If I found out my daughter had something to do with conning anyone as I warned the hospitals about regarding how she had been because of what occurred after the McCoy Elementary School and Fort Worth Zoo situation in reference to the amount of prescriptions and the amount of lies told to her by everyone else because of the wrongful denial of my rights as a Mom because of such individuals choices, then your souls are as your souls are. You too, were warned. The irony though, my daughter would turn around and hate everyone of the individuals who would have forced such and then the realistic aspects of the truth always being needed to set you free. However that freedom comes, right ex-in-laws? I warned my ex-mother-in-law about those pictures of stolen valor she had in her house and as what occurred regarding the child protective services for them not telling the truth to the foster family and the nail polish, I suppose my ex-in-laws were not warned about such either. If they had actually paid attention, they would have seen they invited a few pallets of unopened Bouncing Betty reference metaphor into their own house while feeding it gasoline and charcoal with additional gun powder to that sort of party. What happened to Susie Marie's daughter, in the house?


I warned those who are my ex-in-laws first officially after I woke up from my coma after my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury, do not ever lie to me or about me. They laughed and they thought I was joking back then in 2000 and 2001, just as my biological sister was informed when she first moved down to Texas in 2003. I was not joking about Patricia Ann (abomination) (Hom) Miller born 7 October 1986 in New Jersey, was I warning you about how much she was accustomed to telling a lie just as I warned you where she had learned and been coached for such activities from ironically a Deacon and a Trustee for awhile of a Presbyterian Church. Though some were so much more accustomed to playing games on computers and video games that they did not see the severity of their actions even with such a warning, which I had warned people when I was growing up to be careful what they write or say to others when on such games as there are and were those I could not discuss as to how offended their choices would be to do so as just because the physical people were in whichever areas they were; those types of religious belief systems did not take such the same way, because they viewed such being physically within their homes as they did not have the same warnings or upbringing regarding the Constitutional Rights of the United States of America. While I did not remember that portion more fully after waking up from my coma, I did what I could to be as respectful and honest as possible including referencing pictures taken because of knowing how some take religious sectors of life much more seriously than certain types of Americans. They, are not the only ones who viewed such as such just for clarification. Irving 2011, was not the first time for me.



With the shine, it looks like a clock face of a watch. Pizza.

Despite the culminations of I am extremely thankful for Facebook, Fetlife, CafeMom, and more websites which have been helpful to assist with communications for more to be able to get the word out in honest truth as best as I could especially during the times of 2009 through onwards as well as Gmail and Yahoo for emails.


I especially have to be thankful for the yahoo email aspect because of being able to sign in at one point to be able to contact the #Z100 Z Morning Zoo when I was moved to Illinois, as well as when I was in the Army at Medical Hold Unit in Fort Sam Houston Texas to tell the staff where I was as I remembered I was told if I could remember and when I was 21 years old I would be able to get the prize I should have received with interest because of the explanation I gave about the Friends episode which I was actually able to stay up late enough to watch ironically one evening which was normally passed what was considered as my time to go to my bedroom. I was listening the following morning and heard a female ask if anyone had watched would call in to tell her what occurred and I decided to break the rules of not asking permission to use the phone as it was an 800 number instead, and I called in and was able to give a brief description as to what occurred. I remembered there was a brief amount of silence which seemed like a long amount of time because of how fast I could go, which then they said they were appreciative and asked only a question or two prior to sending my call forward through to the prize central area. When 11 September 2001 occurred I was concerned obviously and after getting a few things taken care of where I was at the time, I sent another email to tell them I hoped everything worked out better and as many as possible were able to be safe. Every now and then I would send a quick little note letting them know I still was hoping the best, and admitting I missed the area and hoped much for each of them for the betterment. Admittedly I cannot remember specifically each by name from such times, though I am glad there is the ability to research online who. Thus additionally, I have been quite thankful for the radio in many ways.

Comentarii


Remember, since I was either six or seven years old I have been giving warnings as to the best of my ability as to the visions I had which began when I was in second grade of Elementary school.  The first warning I gave officially as to my nightmare vision compared to my dream vision was in the year of 1988 or 1989, compared to the online writings and my books as well as my journal blog entries year timeline for the information.


If anyone is upset please direct your upset towards those who had made the choices to constantly needlessly block my warnings and/or try to explain otherwise as to their trying to curb their responsibilities, in comparison to the responsible and respectful choices as best as I could possibly do so as a child starting as to such information at the age of when I was six in 1988 or seven years old in 1989.


I made every attempt to inform as best as I possibly could, though hopefully the clarifications throughout my various books and writings as well as journal blog entries compared to the amount of people in multiple areas which I had spoken with about in person from the years of 1988 or 1989 through to 2012 more continuously before 2013. 


In the year of 2019 is when I began reviewing such details and onward through the years since 2019 more officially, however I made the attempts to give the warnings and what others' choices have been as to whatever proof thereof to who you should be speaking with as to what they told you in comparison as to the upset and anger with in comparison.


How many assistances I have made attempt towards betterment as to the clarifications from the year of 1988 or 1989 onward did it truly have to take for each to genuinely pay attention, as I have been making the best attempts to assist for the best possibilities how?

REMEMBER:

After the head injury caused a coma while I learned how to deal with the headaches, migraines, cognitive disorders, memory problems, and other medical conditions I went from College Algebra with Trigonometry & Calculus down to 2nd grade math.  Here is how logic works for someone like me::

~  It took awhile for the doctor's recommendation to use sticky notes, to help remember.

~  It took several months to realize sticky notes moved, let alone to remember to speak with the doctor.

~  After I finally remembered to ask the doctor about the note problem, notebooks were recommended.

~  When I could remember to pick up a notebook, it took a long time to learn similar to sticky notes, notebooks are not always where they were placed.

~  After I was able to organize the notebooks over several months I still had not learned notebooks are not always readily available, at the necessary time.

~  When I remembered to speak with the doctor about the notebook problem the doctor had few other suggestions, to assist memories better.

~  After several events and adding up sticky note and notebook location problems, I realized my skin goes everywhere I do.

~  Wanting my tattoos to only be for me and not for public consumption I started the ink on my legs, able to hide easier.

~  It would not be until many tattoos and several years later I would realize my memory problems were usually not as bad when wearing shorts, capri pants, or a skirt.

~  Between 3-5 years after my first tattoo I had the first tattoo completed on my arms, and my memory has slowly progressed towards an easier memory jolt.

 

 

When I say "it should not take a head injury to figure this out" it is partially in humor from personal experiences, towards understanding.

 

If I can laugh at my mistakes after recognizing and dealing with them, so can you.

 

You have the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom I lack in order to put everything together to fix the problems seen with abilities I do not have. 

Utilize the information within the blog to find genuine repairs and instead of complaining of the "hurtful" commentary, prevent the issues from reoccurring.

Then again, it should not take a head injury to figure that one out.

Do make sure to link my journal blog entry articles to yours if you refer to my works for any of your research in the slightest, for proper credit. 

 

Thank you, in advance.

REMEMBER:

After the head injury caused a coma while I learned how to deal with the headaches, migraines, cognitive disorders, memory problems, and other medical conditions I went from College Algebra with Trigonometry & Calculus down to 2nd grade math.  Here is how logic works for someone like me::

~  It took awhile for the doctor's recommendation to use sticky notes, to help remember.

~  It took several months to realize sticky notes moved, let alone to remember to speak with the doctor.

~  After I finally remembered to ask the doctor about the note problem, notebooks were recommended.

~  When I could remember to pick up a notebook, it took a long time to learn similar to sticky notes, notebooks are not always where they were placed.

~  After I was able to organize the notebooks over several months I still had not learned notebooks are not always readily available, at the necessary time.

~  When I remembered to speak with the doctor about the notebook problem the doctor had few other suggestions, to assist memories better.

~  After several events and adding up sticky note and notebook location problems, I realized my skin goes everywhere I do.

~  Wanting my tattoos to only be for me and not for public consumption I started the ink on my legs, able to hide easier.

~  It would not be until many tattoos and several years later I would realize my memory problems were usually not as bad when wearing shorts, capri pants, or a skirt.

~  Between 3-5 years after my first tattoo I had the first tattoo completed on my arms, and my memory has slowly progressed towards an easier memory jolt.

 

 

When I say "it should not take a head injury to figure this out" it is partially in humor from personal experiences, towards understanding.

 

If I can laugh at my mistakes after recognizing and dealing with them, so can you.

 

You have the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom I lack in order to put everything together to fix the problems seen with abilities I do not have. 

Utilize the information within the blog to find genuine repairs and instead of complaining of the "hurtful" commentary, prevent the issues from reoccurring.

Then again, it should not take a head injury to figure that one out.

Do make sure to link my journal blog entry articles to yours if you refer to my works for any of your research in the slightest, for proper credit. 

 

Thank you, in advance.

Model Author Susan MeeLing