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The Ornery P.S.A.
a philosophical-ish
Blog

 

It should not take a head injury
*after personally sustaining a head injury & coma*
to figure this out...

 
 
 
 
 
 


After a Drill Sergeant threw Me into the metal part of the bunk when I was in Basic Training for the United States of America's Army branch at Fort Sill Oklahoma #FortSill #FortSillOK #FortSillOklahoma #OK #Oklahoma in the year of 2000 on Psalm Sunday, I have dealt with the situations as best as I have been capable to do so while taking care of the situations and asking for assistance as per the required explanations of the information to such facts first.  While making the attempts to get assistance for the aspects thereof as to the reality, the aspects of where and when as to the multiple attempts to ask for assistance for me.  As my journal blog for when I was ready to bring such as to my other works forward since as to the lengths of time as to where my modeling was as to the modeling page information, just as the other pages have the information as to such specifics, and just as this journal blog of mine is as to such facts.


If I had real friends (if as to having met in person face to face in person in real life as to the aspects of this particular reference such as from the state of Texas as to the state of Washington as to the years of 2000 through 2013 if I met within the state of Texas for such references), real (the areas of the tristate region as before the year of 2000) family, and real relationships in real life that recognized me as to the aspects of if as to the face to face in person who started in truth as I had started such in truth as to the after effects from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury, as well as the subarachnoid hemorrhage in the frontal lobe of my brain that took 8.5 years to dissipate; then I guesstimate there would be the easier factors as to being capable for me to speak with others in truth in person face to face in person and/or through online measures as to such factors I suppose.  Though would such as to the knowledge of the ways as to how they began such discussions with me as to would there be such a situation, for them to consider as to such if factors as to such discussions with me in truth?


As to some suggestions and commentary within "Finding A Silver Lining" one of several of my bo0ks I personally authored/wrote/compiled as I can only speak and write in truth as per such clarifications as to the reality as to the specifics of such discussions/writings/videos as per my Official You Tube where I have satirical commentary where I comment about the factors as to having dealt with others' opinions about their pop culture references of #NJ #NJstate #NewJersey #NewJerseystate New Jersey, though as to for the most part I have actually preferred to be asked with politeness if as to having read my books and/or seen my website as just the same in reference to the timeframes when I was modeling as to having respect as to what I consider as respect, referencing if as to such polite manners as to discussions if as to such having been noticed because of the factors in my opinion as to having real discussions as communication would be if my website was seen before the year of 2023 as I first began my website in 2015; as in my journal blog posts as to the reality of the years of 2010 through 2013, as to the aspects of introductions as to those timeframes when as to various factors as I did not take selfies as I was actually working with photographers as to my creations of my outfits as per the description on the link to my modeling page(s) as to the references regarding my journal blog updates in the years of 2019 through 2022 as the timeframe onward as to the year of 2023 as to the factors as to how such journal blog entries will be as to such factors as to the aspects of the various topic points.


Go read through the multiple journal blogs on my website after finishing scrolling to get to the journal blog area, now!

Share the links of my journal blog, too!




 I was born and raised in New Jersey and grew up going throughout the tristate northeast areas mainly, and as to how the reality of when the importance of the situations as to the aspects of reviewing as to such facts regarding the logistics for several factors as to the considerations; the years of 2019 through 2022 as to the review process as to the aspects of the timeframe, prior to the timeframe of the 20 year memorial of 11 September 2001 also known as 9/11 as well as before the 30 year memorial of February 1993, as to the northeast areas mostly known as to New York City #NYC #NewYork #NY #NYstate #NYU though also as to the #Pentagon Pentagon, as well as Pennsylvania #Pennstate #Pennsylvaniastate as to the reality of how many New Jersey-ians commute in either direction, depending upon what location for the commute. 


The factors though I have said at times, I re-re-re-re-re-re-grew up in the state of  #Texas #TX #Texasstate Texas as to such factors as to the timeframes, as well as all 26 of my SCUBA #SCUBA #SCUBADiving  Diving certifications I earned were through one school within the state of Texas as I also earned winning first place in a Texas Chili cookoff with more than 20 entries as well as my chili recipe as I am adamant about my recipes as to such aspects just as I am specific as to what it actually takes for me to cook in a BBQ as to the required preparations for when I have BBQed.   



I can sarcastically write, those who know of the Rules of the BBQ as to where I grew up as to the Rules of the BBQ as to such factors to the considerations of such preparations.  However that is to cooking food as to the differences of my journal blog entries, as to the factors as to proverbial aspects of food for thought as the difference of real food in real life as to the facts of the situations to such attention to the details as well as attention to the information.


Such facts as to the metaphors in some of such factors that only after reviewing such information as to the aspects of the fiction book series that were as to for My personal life as to such dreamland sorts of factors as to the differences of such hypotheticals, the references thereof as to such regards as to the logistical emotional with the real situations as per the names I was informed of at the timeframes referenced review as to My journal blog as to the situations overall.  


If as to my journal blog being found and read as to where what I consider as common sense, as to the aspects of my satirical saying   how it should not take a head injury to figure out. 
 

*(sometimes utilizing articles discussing facts)*
By:  (Reverend) Susan MeeLing
also known as

The One & Only


(YouTube)   Lady Dori Belle


 

Business Card.jpg

REMEMBER:

​

After the head injury caused a coma while I learned how to deal with the headaches, migraines, cognitive disorders, memory problems, and other medical conditions I went from College Algebra with Trigonometry & Calculus down to 2nd grade math.  Here is how logic works for someone like me::

~  It took awhile for the doctor's recommendation to use sticky notes, to help remember.

~  It took several months to realize sticky notes moved, let alone to remember to speak with the doctor.

~  After I finally remembered to ask the doctor about the note problem, notebooks were recommended.

~  When I could remember to pick up a notebook, it took a long time to learn similar to sticky notes, notebooks are not always where they were placed.

~  After I was able to organize the notebooks over several months I still had not learned notebooks are not always readily available, at the necessary time.

~  When I remembered to speak with the doctor about the notebook problem the doctor had few other suggestions, to assist memories better.

~  After several events and adding up sticky note and notebook location problems, I realized my skin goes everywhere I do.

~  Wanting my tattoos to only be for me and not for public consumption I started the ink on my legs, able to hide easier.

~  It would not be until many tattoos and several years later I would realize my memory problems were usually not as bad when wearing shorts, capri pants, or a skirt.

~  Between 3-5 years after my first tattoo I had the first tattoo completed on my arms, and my memory has slowly progressed towards an easier memory jolt.

 

 

When I say "it should not take a head injury to figure this out" it is partially in humor from personal experiences, towards understanding.

 

If I can laugh at my mistakes after recognizing and dealing with them, so can you.

 

You have the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom I lack in order to put everything together to fix the problems seen with abilities I do not have. 

​

Utilize the information within the blog to find genuine repairs and instead of complaining of the "hurtful" commentary, prevent the issues from reoccurring.

​

Then again, it should not take a head injury to figure that one out.

​

Do make sure to link my journal blog entry articles to yours if you refer to my works for any of your research in the slightest, for proper credit. 

 

Thank you, in advance.

REMEMBER:

​

​

After the head injury caused a coma while I learned how to deal with the headaches, migraines, cognitive disorders, memory problems, and other medical conditions I went from College Algebra with Trigonometry & Calculus down to 2nd grade math.  Here is how logic works for someone like me::

~  It took awhile for the doctor's recommendation to use sticky notes, to help remember.

~  It took several months to realize sticky notes moved, let alone to remember to speak with the doctor.

~  After I finally remembered to ask the doctor about the note problem, notebooks were recommended.

~  When I could remember to pick up a notebook, it took a long time to learn similar to sticky notes, notebooks are not always where they were placed.

~  After I was able to organize the notebooks over several months I still had not learned notebooks are not always readily available, at the necessary time.

~  When I remembered to speak with the doctor about the notebook problem the doctor had few other suggestions, to assist memories better.

~  After several events and adding up sticky note and notebook location problems, I realized my skin goes everywhere I do.

~  Wanting my tattoos to only be for me and not for public consumption I started the ink on my legs, able to hide easier.

~  It would not be until many tattoos and several years later I would realize my memory problems were usually not as bad when wearing shorts, capri pants, or a skirt.

~  Between 3-5 years after my first tattoo I had the first tattoo completed on my arms, and my memory has slowly progressed towards an easier memory jolt.

 

 

When I say "it should not take a head injury to figure this out" it is partially in humor from personal experiences, towards understanding.

 

If I can laugh at my mistakes after recognizing and dealing with them, so can you.

 

You have the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom I lack in order to put everything together to fix the problems seen with abilities I do not have. 

​

Utilize the information within the blog to find genuine repairs and instead of complaining of the "hurtful" commentary, prevent the issues from reoccurring.

​

Then again, it should not take a head injury to figure that one out.

​

Do make sure to link my journal blog entry articles to yours if you refer to my works for any of your research in the slightest, for proper credit. 

 

Thank you, in advance.

Remember, since I was either six or seven years old I have been giving warnings as to the best of my ability as to the visions I had which began when I was in second grade of Elementary school.  The first warning I gave officially as to my nightmare vision compared to my dream vision was in the year of 1988 or 1989, compared to the online writings and my books as well as my journal blog entries year timeline for the information.


If anyone is upset please direct your upset towards those who had made the choices to constantly needlessly block my warnings and/or try to explain otherwise as to their trying to curb their responsibilities, in comparison to the responsible and respectful choices as best as I could possibly do so as a child starting as to such information at the age of when I was six in 1988 or seven years old in 1989.


I made every attempt to inform as best as I possibly could, though hopefully the clarifications throughout my various books and writings as well as journal blog entries compared to the amount of people in multiple areas which I had spoken with about in person from the years of 1988 or 1989 through to 2012 more continuously before 2013. 


In the year of 2019 is when I began reviewing such details and onward through the years since 2019 more officially, however I made the attempts to give the warnings and what others' choices have been as to whatever proof thereof to who you should be speaking with as to what they told you in comparison as to the upset and anger with in comparison.


How many assistances I have made attempt towards betterment as to the clarifications from the year of 1988 or 1989 onward did it truly have to take for each to genuinely pay attention, as I have been making the best attempts to assist for the best possibilities how?

Combining Original Accounts for Clarification: #48 of 88

In reference of combining all of my journals I wrote through my original #fetlife account which I will post the link at the bottom for the clarifications thereof, I am going to have the transparency brought forward as to what can be seen from the original posting dates as to the current timeframe of this day 28 November 2021 for those to see as to my original #Facebook accounts of Susan MeeLing as well as Lady Dori Belle for the additional ability to see the connection links as to what I had discussed for many years and decades in person as well as online as to such factors as best as I could as to the circumstances. Possibly such details will assist to make sense, in the comparisons thereof as to the amounts of details though in addition I do not pretend or hide myself from my truth which others should realize it is important to be honest and truthful in many more ways than just in one or two moments as it is imperative to be more capable to recognize the truth in such aspects of life for far more than some might have realized despite all of my warnings as to what I knew to bring forward to assist as best as possible.




I will begin with posting my newer updated journals from my original account and work backwards as to the irony I noticed. There will be plenty to read in the ways of, whether or not you choose to venture into the areas of the website fetlife.



Posted on 23 December 2012 with notations on 29 November 2021



Day Five: 6 Things you wish you never had done...



Amazing things happened for me on Friday; 21 December 2012...while at the same time, some not so fun things happened...however...either way...that will be taken care of later. I have missed my work, and I feel horrible (as silly as that may sound, to some); so I must rectify things and complete my *"Assignments", as one was due yesterday, and one is due today. I am debating on how I am going to fix this...whether I am going to write one today and then the next tomorrow; and so on...or if I am going to hunker down and write both Exercises tonight.




...it all depends on how I feel...




So, back to work...and without further adue...




Day Five: Six things I wish I’d never done.




In whatever order...as it comes...




* 1.) Getting married...

I wish I had the strength back in the day, when I found out that I was pregnant with our son; to tell my ex-husband; "No. I am not going to marry you, because in my gut, I feel something is wrong..."




Obviously, that did not happen...even with the bricks upside the head - which TOLD ME not to marry Robert...




i.e. Getting lost on the way to the Justice of the Peace for our appointment...so lost, that I ended up on the OPPOSITE side of town...




i.e. The fact that I was settling for a Justice of the Peace wedding, instead of something planned out, as I had wanted...like...with my family present...:...though...to a degree, I am kinda glad that they did not "witness" that mistake that I made...




i.e. I was not proposed to...I was TOLD that I was going to get married to him, for he was "...not going to look bad in front of others..." and so on.




i.e. With the above...I will add the other brick upside the head that came at that exact moment as there was a weapon involved during that conversation.




No, I was not smart enough to run...and frankly, I regret that...but I did not know or have anywhere to go, as I was in Texas and my family was in Illinois...let alone...I thought that was "normal" - to a degree...as when I came out of my coma, initially, whatever Robert told me was gold...but I will get to that...




i.e. When I finally did make it to the building that I was supposed to meet my ex-husband in for the JoP marriage...he yelled at me for over 20 minutes, in front of the building...where the secretary from the office saw the whole thing...and apparently told the Judge, as when I was asked "Do you take Robert to be your law-fully wedded husband...to..." and I responded with, "I do."




Apparently, I should have paid attention to the brick upside the head for that time, when the JoP asked "Are you sure...?..."




Not once...not twice...but 3 (THREE) times...




...and obviously, my dumbass repeated the "I do." ...stupidly...each time...while wondering why a judge would ask such a question, but then forgetting about it soon after.

  • 2.) I regret blindly believing Robert and every single word that came out of his filthy mouth...


SIDE NOTATION: 29 November 2021: The ways of which the dress blues became the situation as it had, is the biggest portion of what I regret not having been able to see being more of a problem in the comparisons thereof. I am grateful as to Grandpa Nichols helping me in many ways, and that is where much of my regret comes from as to having the sensation of in any ways as to letting him down as to what he taught me and helped me with as I wanted to ensure he would always be proud of me as to knowing he unofficially adopted me though as to the ways of such legalities.


To back-track on why...I will explain our meeting...




When Robert and I met, we were both in Medical Hold (what is now the gayest and most retarded-est and stupidest name in the whole world..."The Warrior Transition Unit"...), undergoing Medical Boards, individually. I was going through the Medical Board for my head injury and all of the medical issues that came after; while, he was going through a Medical Board for the flat feet he gained from jumping out of airplanes. As he was Medically Boarded as "unfit for duty", he went through his process, and due to the fact that it did not affect my ex from doing other jobs; he was granted a package.



As I was being Medically Boarded for my head injury, I was put on Temporary Retirement Duty Leave for 5 years, as the military tried to fix me fervently so they could get me into training...but to no avail...as nothing worked consistently. I still try new methods, as they come to me...but...still...nothing has helped much...




Back to Medical Hold...




After my coma...to have people honestly think that I would be able to perform as a trained soldier, was a ridiculous thought...especially when I was only in training from Zero Weeks to the 9 days that I made it through before I was thrown into the metal bunk, by the Drill Sergeant...and then knocked unconscious...and then losing the majority of the memory from all of childhood and up until that point in time...including forgetting short term stuff as well...oh...and the cognitive problems that prevented learning new things "in a timely manner"...




In short...in Medical Hold..."I was the shit bag soldier who didn't have anything squared away." Even with all knowledge of my injury, how it happened, the investigation and prosecution of the D.S. and his punishment...LONG before I ever found out...I was still "The F*** Up", who didn't pay attention to the UCMJ...never mind that I knew most of it prior to joining...and all of it had been erased...




So...with the knowledge of all of that combined; the few people who were in my Chain of Command...as much as I trusted them for everything; as I thought I was supposed to because they are the ones who run the show and know the happenings...so I thought they would understand and help...however...I was COMPLETELY WRONG.




To sum up the Article 15 I was given, my instructions were as follows:




Since I could "...not act like a soldier..." and "...until PVT ___ could prove herself to act like a soldier..."; I umm...learned to deal with the following, on a daily basis...




a.) After working in the Orderly Room from 8am-4::30pm; I was allowed 1 hour to myself, before I was sent to CQ to work on details from 6pm-9pm.




b.) Once my detail work was finished, I was allowed hourly increments, of free time for myself; though, every hour on the hour, until 2am; I had to check into CQ.




c.) Every Counseling Statement that I had been given for anything from not showing up to Formation (never mind the fact, that I was hospitalized at the time)...once I was released from the hospital, I was picked up by a Corporal who took me straight to the Commander's Office for another Counseling Statement; to being 5 minutes late for CQ check in, because I went to bed from the pain I was in, and I did not hear the alarm until after the due time - so even though I rushed to get there with all of the amount of pain that I was in - I received a Counseling Statement for something and that... Granted, there were Counseling Statements that I deserved, but I am sorry...I believe that if I am old enough to sign the line to be in the Army to serve my country; I should be ALLOWED to smoke cigarettes...




I am just sayin'...




d.) Not being allowed to leave post.




e.) If I left the barracks, I had to be escorted to each place...whether it was the D-Fac or the PX or the hospital for an appointment...




f.) (My favorite one - looking back - to laugh at...) I was given a Direct Order that I was not allowed to "be friends" or associate with any soldiers who were considered Permanent Party; as technically, since I did not finish Basic Training, so I was still considered a Student. HOWEVER, on the flip side...




I was also given a Direct Order, within the same breath, to not associate with or befriend Students, as because I was in Medical Hold, I was technically considered Permanent Party.




My obvious question, since I was also not allowed to leave post; so there was no chance of associating with civilians...




"Well, Sir, (Captain Morning - who had JUST been promoted a few weeks prior to him taking over Medical Hold and 2 other Companies...after being a General's Aide for over 3 years...hmmmm...did someone piss someone off??? ... )




Anyway, he took advantage of my lack of understanding of what Fraternization is...and...well...a few weeks later of talking; I was given another Direct Order from Captain Morning...




I was no longer allowed to call him "Captain Morning"...my Direct Order was that I was now to call him "John, at all times..."




Now most know, that I take things for face value and for literal meaning; as when I speak, I say what I mean and I mean what I say...and I will back it up...no questions asked...




Now...back then...I was MUCH MORE NIAVE, as now I know that some people are joking or it is a saying that I never heard/forgot from the coma...with that being said...karma is definitely a bitch... Those who are prior service will understand and enjoy the hell out of this...




Not but 2 days later, as I was given the Direct Order for calling Captain Morning, John from then on...well...the next time I saw him, I was walking through the hallway of the Orderly Rooms and on my way to Supply.




As per custom, one salutes an Officer, every single time one is seen...I saluted John...as well as every other Company Officer who was standing in the group of Officers who apparently, were following the Brigade Commander to his office for a meeting. As I saluted, I greeted everyone, as I was always smiling no matter what...unless I was in trouble...then I was NOT smiling...but any other time; I had a smile on my face. (another thing that pissed off my Chain of Command)




Anyways...as I finished saying, *"Good morning, Sirs. Good morning, Ma'ams. Hi, John!" and was walking away...all of a sudden I heard a male (the Brigade Commander...a full bird...); scream at the top of his lungs many obscenities, before demanding me to stand at Attention, before him.




Now...INSTANTLY, I was petrified, as I have never seen anyone that high ranking before...let alone at the fact that this super high ranking Officer, was now yelling at me, for something I had no clue about what I did wrong...and I RAN to him to stand front and center, as fast as my boots could move.




I was interrogated on the spot of "...whom was dared to be addressed by their first name...for they are all Officers..." and I was just a Private...




On a side note...just in case one does not know...it is NOT PLEASURABLE to be yelled at, by a Commander, of that high rank, within the Army...especially when I thought I was doing what I was supposed to... I am just saying...that WAS NOT FUN AT ALL...




Just sayin'...




Once the male finished his speech about the difference between the Officers and the Enlisted soldiers...let alone Privates...sigh...yeah...I felt really tiny...and I was hoping that a hole would just crack open within the earth right where I was so I did not have to experience anymore...sigh...but I was not so lucky...; he asked me who I was, where I came from, what Company I was in, and first and fore-most...he wanted to know who "John" was...




After pointing John out, after searching through the group, for he was then in the VERY back of everyone...I pointed to John and said, "That's John."




When asked why I called him that, I explained my Direct Orders from him. Once I said that, the Brigade Commander quickly shook his head - in a double take, before asking me what Company I was in of John's. As I told him Medical Hold, he proceeded to ask why...so...I told him...then he asked about the after effects...and I told him...and then he realized that I looked younger than his daughters...and that was when he was told I was 17 years old.




...silence for about 3-5 minutes...




...and the SCARIEST silence, at that, that I have EVER been through...




Once the Commander came back, he told me to go on my way; but not before explaining certain things to me...of course... I was shown his wings...as he pointed to the silver with his fingers (back when we had real BDUs) and said "Do you see this bird?" and I replied that I did before he stated how that bird was much higher ranking than 2 bars...which I knew and that was why I was fearing for my life...which I did tell the COL that, but in different wording...




The Commander told me not to worry and that he "...would be taking care of John..."; which he put his fingers in quotation moves...before saying that I was to listen to his Direct Orders as he had the wings and "John" (once again in finger quotations) "...was only 2 butter bars added together...equaling double the stupidity of the single butter bar...making

Captain ranks equal to an ass hole, as there is the link between..." and he went on...and oh dear...the age thing REALLY got to the Commander, as he let me know that CM was 33 years old...and I was 17 years old...and all of the OTHER stuff...

FUNNY AS HELL NOW!!!...scary as hell then...




I was dismissed, and for up to 3 years later; whenever I would think of Captain Morning...I wondered why so shortly after meeting the Brigade Commander; Captain Morning was shipped to Fort Knox, Kentucky...




Robert had explained as to what all ACTUALLY transpired before my eyes and what happened and why, once I told him about that.




...he also was NOT a happy camper finding that information out...




But back to the meeting of Robert...




So, I was outside, in the Gazebo, and I was smoking a cigarette; as when I turned 18 years old...I was no longer "allowed" to be prevented from smoking. I was with 2 other females at the time, and Robert appeared and asked if he could join us.



They knew who he was, so they said it was not a problem. We all talked for a while, before the two went off to somewhere else; leaving Robert and I alone.




After some time of talking and joking, he and I finally introduced ourselves to each other, as the other 2 had not. He told me who he was (and I had no clue as I had not heard or seen him before in Medical Hold); which upset him, as he apparently known around the Barracks, for some reason or another. Anyway, he heard my name and rank and all of a sudden; he jumped out of his seat and stood about 5-10 feet away from the table that we were at.




After asking what was wrong and if he was ok, as I knew he was in Medical Hold; so I had figured maybe a PTSD moment or something...but no...he was shocked to meet THE Private ___; as I had no clue that I had a reputation within the barracks. I was informed that all in Medical Hold were told to stay away from me, because I was trouble...and no one told him that I "...was who I was...being the way I am after talking..." with me.




Before he had found out who I was, I was explaining all of my problems with the Company that I was in. I went into some detail...maybe half of the above listed, before he introduced himself; so he could let me know his rank and how he "could help"...




I knew what was being done in the Company was wrong...but when the Company Commander gives orders as such...in front of other soldiers, as Counseling Statements must be witnessed...I didn't think of what I could do...and I thought in the end...even though my gut told me otherwise...that my Chain of Command would never lie to a fellow soldier...I still believed in honor and integrity within the military...




...brotherhood...companions for life...one there who will never let you down...etc...




At that time, he became the first and only soldier who told me that the Article 15 was illegal, as well as most of my Counseling Statements. He told me I should go to EO and IG and why...and at the end of his explanation...I looked at him with my head cocked to the side, in dis-belief. He went over and over about what all was wrong, and how I should approach the soldiers in charge of those areas; after alerting at least 1 person within my Chain of Command...and he stressed how no one could stop me from going to those areas.




I did not believe him, at first. Then he said the line that I will never forget... "What is in it for me?"




...I learned in the end...




But, I ended up going to IG, and I never made it to EO. The scary as hell Amazon female Master Sergeant, whom I spoke with, scared me even further than I had been before. Once I explained what was going on, she waited until I was finished speaking, as she took notes; and as soon as she finished her last note, she put the pad of paper down and left the room; leaving me, by myself...once again...now scared shit-less that I f***ed up...again...and there was going to be more trouble...and I was right...




As the female walked to her desk, I hear "...this better be good to interrupt my meeting with the Commander of BAMC..." as a 1 Star General...that then became the highest ranking soldier I had met...and who had now put me...the Private...into panic mode, for he was pissed, and he was letting us all know.




I saluted and was allowed to sit and I was immediately told to explain myself and why the Master Sergeant had disrupted his meeting; for it was important.




Slowly, I softly explained what was going on and I told the General what I told the Master Sergeant, which before I finished speaking what may have been a paragraph's worth...he stopped me and told the MS to give him a pad of paper...once again...scaring the hell out of me, for I had no clue what was happening... The minute he confirmed that I had finished telling them everything that I could think of...he wanted proof...




Out of my pockets in my BDUs, came almost every single Counseling Statement; as I never removed them from my uniform, unless I was changing sets. He instantly grabbed them, once the last pocket was cleared and he walked off. The MS and I sat in silence until he returned about 20 minutes later, only to hand me all of my documents back before saying, "...it will be dealt with...go back to your Company..." and he shooed me out the door of the Master Sergeant's office, scootched me out of the lobby, and left me standing next to my escort; in the hallway.




When he saw who was waiting for me, he asked who the person was and spoke with Sergeant Baber for a bit, off to the side, before coming back to where they left me; and said "Go." before he walked into his office area, and shut the door.



There was no conversation on the way back to the Orderly Rooms, and as soon as the door was opened to the hallway, I heard Top screaming about "Who allowed PVT ___ to go to IG?" as well as a bunch of other things, before asking where I was; as now there was a meeting that had to be attended, ASAP. After walking in quickly to make my presence known, Top pulled me to his office in the back, got in my face, and chewed me out before saying we had to go to the Brigade Commander's Office, because of my "...stupidity..."




I was told to Report for Duty, but if I was taught that in Basic; I did not remember what it was; so, when I walked into the Office; I was SCREAMED at, for just "...moseying in as if I was equal rank..." and so on before I was able to have the opportunity to explain why I had no clue what Reporting for Duty meant. The Brigade Commander went off on a tirade and then sent several soldiers to teach me quickly, and then make me re-do the Reporting. However, due to my injury's problems...it took about 45 minutes to an hour for me to understand the honestly, simple process.




When it came time, I re-did the Reporting...did it wrong...was sent to re-do it...did it wrong...repeat...for about 5-8 times before the Commander was so pissed off that he just said "Screw it, come stand in front of my desk at Attention."




Then, he went on about his call from IG, how he spoke with my Chain of Command, and then how he ordered my file to be put before him. He went on for awhile before he threw my file on the desk, and there were VERY few papers in there...none of the papers being Counseling Statements, as he had been told by IG. As he went on about how shitty of a soldier I was for making up crap; I interrupted him, and I started to explain how they made me carry all of my Counseling Statements on my person, in uniform.




When I said that, I looked over when I noticed every single person in my Chain of Command word with their mouths, "Oh shit..." before they lowered their heads to the ground.




As each Statement was pulled out of my pockets, I handed them to the Commander to look over, and as he did; he would randomly look at me and then the Chain and then me and so on. When the last BDU pocket was emptied, when all of the papers were stacked together - unfolded and read; the Commander sat in silence for a few as he read everything over, and then when it was all read...there was silence, as he looked at his desk that was covered with papers, that he tried to make a neat stack of...but there were just too many Counseling Statements to make 1 pile that stayed in place and neat...and then another...and still another...




After he went over everything, looked at everyone in the room, and then sat and processed what he had; repetitively, once again; the Brigade Commander, stood up and fixed his uniform. He proceeded to ask me to come forward to his desk, and then he extended his hand across the desk; honestly, scaring the shit out of me. I stood at position of Attention when I arrived at the desk and I looked at his hand, wondering what was happening. He then told me to relax and take his hand...so...slowly, I raised my hand to reach across the desk...and then he grabbed my hand, switched it around, and then shook my hand firmly.




Instantly, if someone shakes my hand, I shake back; and when I did, he commented about the type of handshake that I had...how it was firm, yet soft enough not to offend. What that meant then I didn't get, though I do now, after he explained somethings to me before he said, with my hand still in his; "I am COL ___, and you can call me at any time if you ever have any issues. In fact, I am giving you permission..." , then he looked at my Chain of Command before continuing with "...to come straight to my office if you ever have a problem, PVT ___. You are now given permission to not have to go to your Chain of Command to go to anyone above them; and come straight to me, if anything is going on that you do not understand, think is fair, or anything of the sort...even if you just want to talk about what is going on within Medical Hold..." and he continued for a bit.




In pure shock, I didn't ask for permission to speak freely, and he let me know what I had done, but said that it was ok for the situation; as I said, "What about protocol?" As he reemed me for not asking permission to speak freely at first, he then calmed down and finally asked about what military service training that I had; since my file was so limited. I told him why I was in Medical Hold, from everything from when I wanted to join - all the way to where I was at that point...and he looked straight at my Chain of Command, and just glared at them for the explanation.




When I finished explaining everything, he reassured me that nothing like what I had been through so far, would ever happen again, "...not under my Command...I do not allow such bull shit to go on...and if I knew sooner..." etc. He continued on about how I had his permission and it was now a Direct Order for me to go straight to his office, and he would tell his office personnel that if I ever show up, they are to interrupt whatever he is doing, and alert him that I am in his office, no matter what was going on. As soon as he finished his explanation of everything that I was allowed to do, without any needing of my own Chain of Command's permission, he then repealed my Article 15 and every single Counseling Statement that I had.




The best part of it all...(sarcastically)




As I was not fully processing everything that was occurring before me...as I had ALWAYS been in trouble when before any Officer's desk...it took me a while to comprehend what was happening. Then...I had my epiphany that alerted me, I was no longer in trouble for not knowing what I was doing. I knew that if I did something seriously illegal, yes, there would be consequences...but I now knew that I was right...everything going on within the Medical Hold Company that they did, as I have written, let alone what I have left out, or just flat out forgot...THEY were in the wrong...I was not as much of a screw up as they drilled into my head...and...it was THEM who were the "f*** up"s as they called me...and it was THEM who were "...the piss poor soldiers..." as they called me; and now were being called that to their face, by the COL.




The COL allowed me to figure out what was actually going on, what actually happened, and so on before he let me go out into the world...free...




...and of course, he let me know, in front of my Chain of Command, partially of how he was going to deal with the situation at hand...and then a bit of information about how he was going to deal with my Chain of Command...




Once the explanations sank in...and the second he finished on how he was partially going to "...personally handle them each, individually, and as a whole to hold them accountable for their piss poor choices and sorry excuse for actions, showing that it was them who were the sorry excuse for soldiers..." and so on...I finally had the courage to look over at my Chain of Command, as the whole time, up until that point; I thought it was I who was in trouble and it was I who was going to be fucked over again by the hockey stick sideways...but when I realized it was not I who was the fuck up and I was not in trouble and THEY were in trouble for all of what THEY did...




I looked at my Chain of Command, individually, and together; and I smiled at them; without the COL's awareness of my look on my face. LOL




I stared each one of them down, to the point where they lowered their heads to look straight at the floor - as I was only smiling at them...now...what smile was on my face...




Hee hee hee...




Obviously...they were not happy with it...at all... ...let alone the ass chewings that they were about to receive after I was told that I could leave the office and "...do whatever my heart desired, within the limits of the law..."




The COL had my hand still, and after this point, he started to walk around his desk to me, and at a point letting go of my hand. However, when he was standing in front of me, as I was shaking; he grabbed both of my hands together and held them close to his heart. He sincerely apologized for all of the torment that I had gone through and how he wished that he could take it all away from me, as he knew how it had affected me, to a degree - as he said - he would never know the full extent of damages that I suffer for he knows not how to process something of this nature...




He let go of one of my hands, and as he walked me to the door of his office, he glared at all of the soldiers there. When he opened the door, and my hand still in his; he said "You are free now. Go out and do something that will be fun for you and smile for you are now not going to have to deal with such atrocities, ever again, under his command. And if he were to have to change duty assignments before I was finished with my Medical Board; he would alert the next in command to be the same way with me and why..." He went on a little bit more, before he let my hand go, gently, and said that I was allowed to leave and I did not have anymore work for the rest of the week...(and it was Monday...), as he continued to say that I "...could go off and play..."




I thanked him for his time and I apologized for any problems that I caused, when he interrupted me and let me know that I caused no problems...it was "them" who created everything that he now had to untangle and undo, and I had nothing to worry about, for I did not upset him in the slightest, once he understood what the situation actually was. He went on some more before he took me to the Lobby Office door, introduced me to all of his staff there, and let them know that if I ever showed up, they were "...to get a hold of thee cell phone or the office line for connection ASAP ...PERIOD..."




It was amusing, looking back, to see the faces of wonder and lack of understanding, how I, a Private, was now being given the ability to contact him at any point in time, without any problems...especially, after they had all watched my bad issues when I was just trying to learn how to Report for Duty...and they all snickered every time I messed up and was sent to re-do the entrance...so their faces after seeing all that, then the however long meeting where they saw nothing and did not hear a peep out of the office after I entered and they saw how much of a f*** up I was...the lack of comprehension within their heads and the looks on all of their faces were PRICELESS. Though...I will admit...the faces of my Chain of Command made my day a hell of a lot better...and those faces and looks...I cannot forget...




And I revel in it...




He allowed me to leave after, and I was on my way back to my barracks to get out of my uniform, into civilian clothing.



Somewhere along the way, I met Robert as he was walking through to go to his room to change out of his uniform from his work time, and he stopped me; as I did not recognize him. As soon as I realized who he was, I jumped on him to give him the biggest hug that I possibly could; knowing that it is illegal according to the UCMJ to show affection to someone within uniform...there are exceptions to that rule...but...few...




Anyway, I quickly told him the brief of what happened, and once I told him that the COL said that I was free; he stopped me from talking. He said he was happy everything worked out, and how he told me that he knew what he was talking about. As he went on about his knowledge, and then experience in the Army...I became enamored with Robert right then and there...I realized that he was my hero...he saved me from the torture...and most importantly...




Robert was the only one within the entire time that I had been in Medical Hold, who was honest and had a pure heart to help.




He asked me if I wanted him to take me out so I could get off post, since he knew that I was not allowed to have a car, in the Army, and I quickly accepted. He told me to go get changed, let him know when I was ready, and he would drive his car out of the building on the other side of the parking lot to the building to meet me.




However, just like how I was not supposed to let anyone know who told me the information that aided me; I was not to tell anyone that he was going to take me out somewhere. I agreed, we exchanged phone numbers, and I went off to go shower, change, and call when I was ready.




That night was an amazing time. I was shown so much about San Antonio...the city the base was in...that I was never able to see before...and now I was experiencing it...




Once word spread that I had permission to walk straight into the Brigade Commander's Office, at any point; people stayed away from me more than before from Medical Hold. However, my friends that were Permanent Party, when they found out; they asked all of the gory details, because they never knew what I was going through fully. When I told them it was some random person that I met one night who told me what was wrong, illegal, and how to fix the problems; they told me that person was my guardian angel...and it stuck...because...at that time...Robert saved me...




...and he did...




I give him credit where credit is due...however...almost everything after that point, that came from his lips...in the end...after we separated for the final time (there were only 2 separations), I realized that he was only full of shit and he was using his knowledge to aid his goals...and not truly love me to take care of me, as he said he would...




I regret never researching things that he told me after that point...




I regret believing my ex-husband blindly...