In reference of combining all of my journals I wrote through my original #fetlife account which I will post the link at the bottom for the clarifications thereof, I am going to have the transparency brought forward as to what can be seen from the original posting dates as to the current timeframe of this day 28 November 2021 for those to see as to my original #Facebook accounts of Susan MeeLing as well as Lady Dori Belle for the additional ability to see the connection links as to what I had discussed for many years and decades in person as well as online as to such factors as best as I could as to the circumstances. Possibly such details will assist to make sense, in the comparisons thereof as to the amounts of details though in addition I do not pretend or hide myself from my truth which others should realize it is important to be honest and truthful in many more ways than just in one or two moments as it is imperative to be more capable to recognize the truth in such aspects of life for far more than some might have realized despite all of my warnings as to what I knew to bring forward to assist as best as possible.
I will begin with posting my newer updated journals from my original account and work backwards as to the irony I noticed. There will be plenty to read in the ways of, whether or not you choose to venture into the areas of the website fetlife.
Posted on 23 May 2013
Military & BDSM Lifestyle Collision
The Beginning...
This older writing is being posted just 5 days after Armed Forces Day, on 18 May 2013. (Armed Forces Day is the 3rd Saturday of every May) This is a writing that was harder for me to write, for several reasons.
First and foremost, I am writing this for all of the F/females and M/males who have willingly signed the line to join any of the Armed Forces for the United States of America to become Government Issued (G.I. – the origination of that term) Soldier.
Had it not been for these people, we, as a nation, the United States of America; would never be allowed to write, speak, or anything else; as we all take for granted in America at times.
Secondly, I write this for anyone looking to have any form of relationship (whether romantic and/or friendship and/or play) with someone who is former service; as the mentality for civilians, for military, and then military who have returned to civilian status ALL have different mind-sets to the laws governing the population at large.
Finally, I write this for myself, as I have been within the BDSM Lifestyle since I was 22 years old; being introduced to The
Scene in 2004. I am former military, actually; I am “Medically Retired” from the Army due to a Head Injury that I sustained in 2000, when I was 17 years old, in my Basic Training, due to a Drill Sergeant who knocked me into a coma, and “gifting” me with many side-effects from the incident.
The Middle...
Personally, I have watched and experienced soldiers from all different decades interact within The Scene; as well as my own personal experiences in the vanilla realms of existence.
One major problem when it comes to (former) soldiers and civilians within the Lifestyle is that the military is a “Lifestyle” unto itself. In civilian life, one only has to keep the state and federal laws within their minds to make their legal choices.
Whereas, someone who is military; one must adhere to whatever state’s laws, all federal laws, whatever country’s laws – if stationed overseas, as well as the Universal Code of Military Justice (UCMJ).
And some wonder why those in the military can be so up-tight? ;-)
The laws that must be followed alone, creates a great amount of stress that very few can comprehend.
Even if a person is a “military brat” (a parent/guardian who was serving the military), those dependents do not and cannot fathom all that the actual person who was enlisted as an officer or as an enlisted NCO (Non Commissioned Officer) soldier must deal with.
Not just within the military’s lifestyle, but also when interacting with civilians.
Very few civilians can fully understand that as the military “conditions” the soldiers to be mindful of their surrounding…that means ALL surroundings.
So if one sees a former soldier looking all throughout a room/area/building…most likely they are scoping out the scenery to see what exits are where, who and/or what possible threats could be, emergency stations, where exits are, etc.
Now add to all regulations that one must follow (also depending on rank and officer versus enlisted versus Non-Commissioned Officer depends on other rules that must be adhered to); the fact that the government makes a VERY SMALL EFFORT to try to reintegrate military personnel back to being a civilian…
The programs, while MUCH better than even 1 decade ago; it still has many areas that do not aid all soldiers; let alone actually assisting the soldiers and their families in a way that truly benefits all and society as a whole.
Also, depending upon which era and branch a soldier was/is in, that’s another aspect that needs to be taken into consideration for the person’s mind-set.
Someone who was a soldier during the Korean War as a PVT-2 is going to have a different thought process from one who was a Colonel during Desert Shield and/or Desert Storm who will think differently from a E-7 to an O-2 who had not been involved during “War Time”; and so on.
The final aspect that I will address in this section is:
How the soldier was treated while in service?
Were they state-side or overseas and in another country?
If they were stationed overseas; where?
What vaccines did the soldier receive?
What shots did the person have before/during/after being sent overseas?
Are any shots/vaccines/medications that were/are administered still under consideration by the FDA and/or that have not been approved of for human consumption?
Was said individual within the War Zones?
Were they on the front line or were they in the center of the base where no mortars/explosives could touch?
What was their job?
What did they have to do/go through/endure while overseas?
What was their job assignment overseas?
What was the soldier originally told the mission would be versus what actually happened?
Were they, or anyone that they knew; a Prisoner of War (POW) or killed in action, or Gods forbid; any of this done in front of said individual?
If state-side or overseas, was the person injured?
How?
Were they in Medical Hold/Warrior Transition Unit?
What treatment did/do they have to under-go?
What medications are they on?
Side effects?
As many soldiers are and have transitioned (as best as possible) to the civilian realm of life; many do not comprehend the differences stated above or even the mind-set within the individuals.
What does that mean concerning the BDSM Lifestyle?
With the influx of injuries ranging from amputees to burn victims to PTSD to TBIs to0 Anthrax injections gone wrong to all between and beyond; the BDSM Lifestyle must look at the potential issues that one may encounter.
When one is interacting with a soldier who is an amputee, there are some common sense things to keep in mind; in some aspects. Other aspects, may not be so available or open to the public knowledge base.
* 1.) Lost Appendage(s)
ONE: If one is within the realm of an amputee, do not stare at the wound.
That is rude, first and foremost.
As if they have enough of a complex about their lost limb(s), those actions are only making it worse on their psyche.
TWO: An amputee usually goes through the problem of “Ghost Limb” when originally having whatever accident that caused the situation.
“Ghost Limb” is when one swears that the person says that they “feel” the limb and anything that happens to it (i.e. someone bumping into the area, they would scream in agony and pain, even though the appendage is not physically there)
THREE: Please do NOT ask questions about their injuries, what they went through, etc.; unless THAT PERSON brings up the topic.
If they feel comfortable enough to talk about what happened, then they will.
Do not force them to re-live their incidents any more than they already do.
However, a little known fact about an amputee is that they have a higher amount of concentrated control over the lost limb (especially, if they have a prosthetic replacement); so, fe/males who enjoy penetration WITH a large amount of force and/or vibration…start talking with someone you know and RESPECTFULLY inquire…
;-)
* 2.) Burn Victims
Those who have suffered any form of burns from a fire that may have broken out due to [enter reason here; i.e. mortar attack/explosion or an oil fire or etc.], have severe thought issues with their different skin coloration, texture, and so on; from their injuries that were sustained.
Two very simple ideas when presented before said soldier, to keep in mind.
ONE: Do not stare. (See #1 above)
TWO: Do not inquire about their injuries, unless that person feels comfortable enough to speak about things with you. (See #1 above)
THREE: Do NOT ask questions about their injuries, what they went through, etc.; unless THAT PERSON brings up the topic. (See #1 above)
* 3.) PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)
PTSD in now recognized within medical textbooks as being a valid mental health disorder. Finally and formally being recognized in the 1980’s, and yet, unfortunately to this day, PTSD is still questioned as to whether or not it is a “valid” medical issue.
Many people other than military or law enforcement personnel have been through an extremely traumatic event within the civilian realm. Soldiers of all forms; whether Active Duty/Emergency Medical Service individuals/Reservist/Fire Department/National Guard/ Police/ Coast Guard/ etc.; those people are not the only ones who are at risk to be diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Just because someone is any of the versions of a “city’s soldier” (i.e.: Police/EMS/Fire) or military or Homeland Security and so on; that is not the only career field that can make a person susceptible to being exposed to a traumatic event/injury in one’s life.
There are many civilians, whether it is child or adult or elderly or any timeframe in-between, who have been diagnosed with PTSD due to a car accident/assault(s)/and any other experience that lead the individual to having physical, mental, emotional, and sometimes ~ spiritual issues that arise within themselves and then manifest within their reality. Just because one may not have been through extensive training and was in situation(s) that put that person into firing range or forcing them to defend themselves to the death with another being or assault or weaponry or etc.; that does not exclude another from experiencing this illness.
As every one of the above injuries are the same as PTSD within the realm of the medical problems not being exclusive to soldiers.
A few easy thoughts when in front of said person, to keep in mind:
ONE: Do not stare if the person is starting to become aggravated/upset/distraught/having a flashback/etc. (See #1 and #2 above)
TWO: If you are NOT someone who is a medically trained personnel, if you have no experience with mental health, and MOST IMPORTANTLY ~ if you do not know the individual and/or their past; do not get close to the person who is reacting to what it is that they are reliving. Allow the person to have plenty of space to breathe, as when one goes into a manic mode, spatial relation is thrown out of the window. Someone who looks as if they are only a few inches from the affected individual’s body/face; that person may feel that the other who is not knowing of/understanding/involved/previous experience and/or understanding feel very claustrophobic and cause more stress and problems.
THREE: Do not inquire about the cause of their injuries, unless that person feels comfortable enough to speak about things with you. (See #1 and #2 above)
* 4.) Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)/Head Injury
As the brain is one of the most sensitive organs within the body, if there is a major accident where the head is struck into another object; the damage that could occur may or may not physically manifest to where another person would be able to look at the affected to say, “Yes. That person has for-sure had a TBI because I see [enter physical condition here, i.e. drooping or lazy or wandering eyes or loss of use in certain body areas/parts].”
For the most part, most who have met someone who has been a victim to circumstance would not be able to tell a TBI from a non-TBI individual as most of the damage is done to the brain itself.
As the brain is held within the skull which is filled with and surrounded by many different layers; it is not common to have the ability to distinguish one individual from the next with a TBI.
Add to that, all people react physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually different from one another when the exact same event in every single way occurs; such is the same with brain injuries.
Whereas one may have short term memory loss, another may have long term memory loss, and another may have all or a varying of the two.
As some may experience loss of function and/or ability, what was once previously more than capable for the individual’s hobby/interests/occupation/etc.; now may be extremely difficult for them to be able to accomplish. Sometimes, that person never regains the knowledge or skills, once so cherished and now interrupted by the damage done to the neurons and cranium activity.
Many lose intellect that they once went to schooling to receive formal education; even non-formal information as well.
Others develop pain in various points within their body. Usually headaches and/or migraines are very common, but others have had medical issues arise that range from spinal problems, to muscular control issues, to etc.
A lot of people become sensitive to lights, sounds, smells, and/or even touch at random moments as others see “glitter” when they open their eyes to see at times.
Some easy thoughts when in front of said person, to keep in mind:
ONE: If there is a physical conditioned that formed from the trauma; do not stare. (See #1, #2, and #3 above)
TWO: If the individual out of the blue has a medical issues that arise; do not panic or move too quickly around the affected.
THREE: Do not inquire about the cause of their injuries, unless that person feels comfortable enough to speak about things with you. (See #1, #2, and #3 above)
FOUR: If you are not a medically trained personnel, if you have no experience with anyone with the exact same medical diagnosis, and MOST IMPORTANTLY ~ if you do not know the individual and/or their past; do not get close to the person who is reacting to their medical issues. Allow the person to have plenty of space to breathe, as when one goes into a manic mode, spatial relation is thrown out of the window. Someone who looks as if they are only a few inches from the affected individual’s body/face; that person may feel that the other who is not knowing of/understanding/involved/previous experience and/or understanding feel very claustrophobic and cause more stress and problems. (See #3 above)
FIVE: Because the brain is a delicate organ and the slightest bit of damage can cause major effects after the incident, there is no such thing as consistency with someone who has suffered a TBI.
In one moment, the individual can appear to be “ok” (though inside the attack is bound to happen shortly), the next second the person suffering from a TBI can not comprehend where they are located and/or who they are with and/or what they were talking about and/or who they were speaking to on the phone and/or etc.
The Ending...
With the amount of soldiers that have returned as well as those who are/will return to the civilian world; but in this instance, within the BDSM Lifestyle; we as a community need to begin to be aware of those who are entering or who have/will enter the Lifestyle and their medical diagnosis.
The military does not recondition soldiers to return to the civilian life…if there are few resources for those individuals within the “normal” realm of society…then…what do we, as a community, need to look at to aid the soldiers in the BDSM world?
No two people will ever have the exact same injury.
No two individuals will react the same way in any form.
No two bodies are completely and 100% identical.
Therefore, no two people will have the same aftermath from any injury.
If not for the law enforcement, those who put their life on the line to protect/defend, and military, in the United States of America, we would not have the freedoms that we all enjoy and take for granted.
These M/males and F/females have given up all of their personal liberties for others, and in the end of their service; they usually leave with many issues and problems versus having all of the “benefits” that many people think that a soldier receives throughout their service time; as well as long after.
Instead of fearing the unknown…be aware and learn…
www. fetlife .com/users/484330/posts/1572760
How important is it though to actually have compassion in the comparisons thereof to such ways as what is compassion, in comparisons as to the situations which of how situations have been in reference to myself when taking such a viewpoint into consideration? Obviously as to having written about the multitude of factors I did not think it took a head injury to figure out having gone over such to the length I have would be able to make it easier as to such factors as to the different numbers in a timeframe such as now 28 November 2021 I can sarcastically write in comparison to going into other such details as I already have in prior entries as to my journal blog as to the ways of which such situations have been in the years of 2013 through 2021:
Sarcastic Joke referencing #1 as to lost appendages: While I once had a larger strap on collection as to such points in time to make sure I was able to ensure the proper taking care of other fe/males depending upon their preferences, I can joke since I am the first born to a first generation Chinese male as to the appendages I simply had to have a different type of collection of as to the realities there are both females as well as males who sometimes enjoy a different aspect thereof; however personally I prefer the real aspect in comparison to the strap-on portion, though I have utilized such on both males and females who enjoyed that.
I can also joke how males can be jealous in a more positive way as to the fact I can change out my size and still have such feelings as to the same, as when wearing a strap-on as there are those who know the ways it hits the hips is pretty much the same no matter which type or size as it is the harness which makes the difference.
Sarcastic Joke referencing #2 as to the truth behind every joke, as what was it I have dealt with in regards of the laptop situation when working on healing energetic portions as well as what did I deal with as to others' comments as to my personal choices in my life in comparison to who such were coming from as to such proverbial aspects of those comments?
Sarcastic Joke reference #3 I suppose the Post (timeframe of the) Traumatic (situations I was put through as well as dealt with as to the) Stress (I had dealt with as to the factors thereof which in such reference as to my cognitive) Disorder, or is that a two thirds of a word pun as to the ways thereof? I am a nerd as I have always been a massively huge dork as per my studies, as well as having gladly taken Latin classes for a couple of years.
Sarcastic Joke #4 to the TBI there is in some ways a different type of joke as for those who are untrained there will be the aspects of full misinterpretation as to the actual sanity of the individual who survived a TBI, in comparisons to those who have in their own lives lived the same ways over and over and yet expected the same results as what is that to define in such regards as what would be of importance as to individuals' genuinely honest evaluations of life as what is important for such clarifications as to the various aspects thereof?
Additionally as to the medical care which has nothing to do with any such joking matter as it is important especially with a proven record of what is most ideal as to the actual knowledge and understanding of oneself as to a TBI survivor, there is the realistic aspect of which when such factors of what is known for the highest good as to the best for the general health and well being of such as to following the directions as to if proven enough as to fully being capable to explain and express such factors as realistically when looking at the description of #4; who actually is the individual(s) who get confused, in such comparisons?
How difficult is it to ask in truth for clarifications, in comparing to assuming?
