top of page

The Ornery P.S.A.
a philosophical-ish
Blog

 

It should not take a head injury
*after personally sustaining a head injury & coma*
to figure this out...

 
 
 
 
 
 


After a Drill Sergeant threw Me into the metal part of the bunk when I was in Basic Training for the United States of America's Army branch at Fort Sill Oklahoma #FortSill #FortSillOK #FortSillOklahoma #OK #Oklahoma in the year of 2000 on Psalm Sunday, I have dealt with the situations as best as I have been capable to do so while taking care of the situations and asking for assistance as per the required explanations of the information to such facts first.  While making the attempts to get assistance for the aspects thereof as to the reality, the aspects of where and when as to the multiple attempts to ask for assistance for me.  As my journal blog for when I was ready to bring such as to my other works forward since as to the lengths of time as to where my modeling was as to the modeling page information, just as the other pages have the information as to such specifics, and just as this journal blog of mine is as to such facts.


If I had real friends (if as to having met in person face to face in person in real life as to the aspects of this particular reference such as from the state of Texas as to the state of Washington as to the years of 2000 through 2013 if I met within the state of Texas for such references), real (the areas of the tristate region as before the year of 2000) family, and real relationships in real life that recognized me as to the aspects of if as to the face to face in person who started in truth as I had started such in truth as to the after effects from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury, as well as the subarachnoid hemorrhage in the frontal lobe of my brain that took 8.5 years to dissipate; then I guesstimate there would be the easier factors as to being capable for me to speak with others in truth in person face to face in person and/or through online measures as to such factors I suppose.  Though would such as to the knowledge of the ways as to how they began such discussions with me as to would there be such a situation, for them to consider as to such if factors as to such discussions with me in truth?


As to some suggestions and commentary within "Finding A Silver Lining" one of several of my bo0ks I personally authored/wrote/compiled as I can only speak and write in truth as per such clarifications as to the reality as to the specifics of such discussions/writings/videos as per my Official You Tube where I have satirical commentary where I comment about the factors as to having dealt with others' opinions about their pop culture references of #NJ #NJstate #NewJersey #NewJerseystate New Jersey, though as to for the most part I have actually preferred to be asked with politeness if as to having read my books and/or seen my website as just the same in reference to the timeframes when I was modeling as to having respect as to what I consider as respect, referencing if as to such polite manners as to discussions if as to such having been noticed because of the factors in my opinion as to having real discussions as communication would be if my website was seen before the year of 2023 as I first began my website in 2015; as in my journal blog posts as to the reality of the years of 2010 through 2013, as to the aspects of introductions as to those timeframes when as to various factors as I did not take selfies as I was actually working with photographers as to my creations of my outfits as per the description on the link to my modeling page(s) as to the references regarding my journal blog updates in the years of 2019 through 2022 as the timeframe onward as to the year of 2023 as to the factors as to how such journal blog entries will be as to such factors as to the aspects of the various topic points.


Go read through the multiple journal blogs on my website after finishing scrolling to get to the journal blog area, now!

Share the links of my journal blog, too!




 I was born and raised in New Jersey and grew up going throughout the tristate northeast areas mainly, and as to how the reality of when the importance of the situations as to the aspects of reviewing as to such facts regarding the logistics for several factors as to the considerations; the years of 2019 through 2022 as to the review process as to the aspects of the timeframe, prior to the timeframe of the 20 year memorial of 11 September 2001 also known as 9/11 as well as before the 30 year memorial of February 1993, as to the northeast areas mostly known as to New York City #NYC #NewYork #NY #NYstate #NYU though also as to the #Pentagon Pentagon, as well as Pennsylvania #Pennstate #Pennsylvaniastate as to the reality of how many New Jersey-ians commute in either direction, depending upon what location for the commute. 


The factors though I have said at times, I re-re-re-re-re-re-grew up in the state of  #Texas #TX #Texasstate Texas as to such factors as to the timeframes, as well as all 26 of my SCUBA #SCUBA #SCUBADiving  Diving certifications I earned were through one school within the state of Texas as I also earned winning first place in a Texas Chili cookoff with more than 20 entries as well as my chili recipe as I am adamant about my recipes as to such aspects just as I am specific as to what it actually takes for me to cook in a BBQ as to the required preparations for when I have BBQed.   



I can sarcastically write, those who know of the Rules of the BBQ as to where I grew up as to the Rules of the BBQ as to such factors to the considerations of such preparations.  However that is to cooking food as to the differences of my journal blog entries, as to the factors as to proverbial aspects of food for thought as the difference of real food in real life as to the facts of the situations to such attention to the details as well as attention to the information.


Such facts as to the metaphors in some of such factors that only after reviewing such information as to the aspects of the fiction book series that were as to for My personal life as to such dreamland sorts of factors as to the differences of such hypotheticals, the references thereof as to such regards as to the logistical emotional with the real situations as per the names I was informed of at the timeframes referenced review as to My journal blog as to the situations overall.  


If as to my journal blog being found and read as to where what I consider as common sense, as to the aspects of my satirical saying   how it should not take a head injury to figure out. 
 

*(sometimes utilizing articles discussing facts)*
By:  (Reverend) Susan MeeLing
also known as

The One & Only


(YouTube)   Lady Dori Belle


 

Business Card.jpg

REMEMBER:

After the head injury caused a coma while I learned how to deal with the headaches, migraines, cognitive disorders, memory problems, and other medical conditions I went from College Algebra with Trigonometry & Calculus down to 2nd grade math.  Here is how logic works for someone like me::

~  It took awhile for the doctor's recommendation to use sticky notes, to help remember.

~  It took several months to realize sticky notes moved, let alone to remember to speak with the doctor.

~  After I finally remembered to ask the doctor about the note problem, notebooks were recommended.

~  When I could remember to pick up a notebook, it took a long time to learn similar to sticky notes, notebooks are not always where they were placed.

~  After I was able to organize the notebooks over several months I still had not learned notebooks are not always readily available, at the necessary time.

~  When I remembered to speak with the doctor about the notebook problem the doctor had few other suggestions, to assist memories better.

~  After several events and adding up sticky note and notebook location problems, I realized my skin goes everywhere I do.

~  Wanting my tattoos to only be for me and not for public consumption I started the ink on my legs, able to hide easier.

~  It would not be until many tattoos and several years later I would realize my memory problems were usually not as bad when wearing shorts, capri pants, or a skirt.

~  Between 3-5 years after my first tattoo I had the first tattoo completed on my arms, and my memory has slowly progressed towards an easier memory jolt.

 

 

When I say "it should not take a head injury to figure this out" it is partially in humor from personal experiences, towards understanding.

 

If I can laugh at my mistakes after recognizing and dealing with them, so can you.

 

You have the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom I lack in order to put everything together to fix the problems seen with abilities I do not have. 

Utilize the information within the blog to find genuine repairs and instead of complaining of the "hurtful" commentary, prevent the issues from reoccurring.

Then again, it should not take a head injury to figure that one out.

Do make sure to link my journal blog entry articles to yours if you refer to my works for any of your research in the slightest, for proper credit. 

 

Thank you, in advance.

REMEMBER:

After the head injury caused a coma while I learned how to deal with the headaches, migraines, cognitive disorders, memory problems, and other medical conditions I went from College Algebra with Trigonometry & Calculus down to 2nd grade math.  Here is how logic works for someone like me::

~  It took awhile for the doctor's recommendation to use sticky notes, to help remember.

~  It took several months to realize sticky notes moved, let alone to remember to speak with the doctor.

~  After I finally remembered to ask the doctor about the note problem, notebooks were recommended.

~  When I could remember to pick up a notebook, it took a long time to learn similar to sticky notes, notebooks are not always where they were placed.

~  After I was able to organize the notebooks over several months I still had not learned notebooks are not always readily available, at the necessary time.

~  When I remembered to speak with the doctor about the notebook problem the doctor had few other suggestions, to assist memories better.

~  After several events and adding up sticky note and notebook location problems, I realized my skin goes everywhere I do.

~  Wanting my tattoos to only be for me and not for public consumption I started the ink on my legs, able to hide easier.

~  It would not be until many tattoos and several years later I would realize my memory problems were usually not as bad when wearing shorts, capri pants, or a skirt.

~  Between 3-5 years after my first tattoo I had the first tattoo completed on my arms, and my memory has slowly progressed towards an easier memory jolt.

 

 

When I say "it should not take a head injury to figure this out" it is partially in humor from personal experiences, towards understanding.

 

If I can laugh at my mistakes after recognizing and dealing with them, so can you.

 

You have the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom I lack in order to put everything together to fix the problems seen with abilities I do not have. 

Utilize the information within the blog to find genuine repairs and instead of complaining of the "hurtful" commentary, prevent the issues from reoccurring.

Then again, it should not take a head injury to figure that one out.

Do make sure to link my journal blog entry articles to yours if you refer to my works for any of your research in the slightest, for proper credit. 

 

Thank you, in advance.

Remember, since I was either six or seven years old I have been giving warnings as to the best of my ability as to the visions I had which began when I was in second grade of Elementary school.  The first warning I gave officially as to my nightmare vision compared to my dream vision was in the year of 1988 or 1989, compared to the online writings and my books as well as my journal blog entries year timeline for the information.


If anyone is upset please direct your upset towards those who had made the choices to constantly needlessly block my warnings and/or try to explain otherwise as to their trying to curb their responsibilities, in comparison to the responsible and respectful choices as best as I could possibly do so as a child starting as to such information at the age of when I was six in 1988 or seven years old in 1989.


I made every attempt to inform as best as I possibly could, though hopefully the clarifications throughout my various books and writings as well as journal blog entries compared to the amount of people in multiple areas which I had spoken with about in person from the years of 1988 or 1989 through to 2012 more continuously before 2013. 


In the year of 2019 is when I began reviewing such details and onward through the years since 2019 more officially, however I made the attempts to give the warnings and what others' choices have been as to whatever proof thereof to who you should be speaking with as to what they told you in comparison as to the upset and anger with in comparison.


How many assistances I have made attempt towards betterment as to the clarifications from the year of 1988 or 1989 onward did it truly have to take for each to genuinely pay attention, as I have been making the best attempts to assist for the best possibilities how?

Bonus Round of Thanks Day 11

What is the worst thing anything which would be viewed from my now dead-ex-husband as per what his view would be as per what would be considered as worse than what he did when he was alive, realistically? If you actually had known the real him when he was alive you would know the only worse thing to ever do from when he was alive to such times after his death,. would literally be to do everything and anything he could not do himself when he was alive which would have ever made of kept me genuinely happy. The last thing he would ever find as worse than what he did which is the same regarding myself would be accomplishing everything he wished he was able to do when he was alive, regarding quite a few aspects. If you actually have any psychological studies and background then you would know if you actually reviewed his psychosis of the way he viewed life such as taking baby kittens to bury in the ground with their head over the ground and the bodies in the ground to turn on the lawnmower in his Mom and Dad's backyard, when he then ran over the heads if the baby kittens in his parents' backyard and laughed. He told Suzanne Farnsworth of Nine Lives Books after I told her as well as told him I had told her, which as soon as he learned of me telling Suzanne Farnsworth was the only time he was ever interested in speaking with Suzanne Farnsworth. He hated the fact she was running a business as a female which he found pathetic that she was incapable of doing so without the backing of her boyfriend Michael Roberts as well as the fact he did not ever like Michael Roberts because of the fact he would allow his girlfriend to ever have a business, while he stayed in the background. He had no respect for anyone other than himself, despite what others wish would have ever been possible only because he looked more normal than I had and do. There is nothing about when he was alive which would ever actually prove he cared about anyone else truthfully, in comparison to me. If I was upset about something the complaints were as the complaints were until he found out the truth and once he found out the truth, his rage was then turned towards anyone and everyone who ever went against me. Take a look at Pump It Up for an example if you need to know exactly how he would look at each and every individual human being regarding how I have been treated in comparison to what you have wished for him to ever care about you, as depending on who you were depended as to the situations you would be put through as per his whim.


If you need to know what would actually be considered as worse to both how he was and is regarding his death compared to how my view of what worse then him would be, than let me help you see more clearly to know to understand and comprehend as best as possible since there apparently were too few people who ever realized there was nothing they were going to find out about him online because he did not ever have a social media account anywhere and any email associated account was created social media from my biological sister and not him because he did not believe in any need for social media the way my biological sister had believed was more important than anything else in life itself which others would be able to verify one way or another as per the way he wrote comparatively which he wrote in sentences which would not be coherent as per the level of education he actually had which you can see in the colleges regarding the difference between the tests he took in class, compared to the typed portions which were all my work in comparison as would be able to be seen and noticed by anyone who ever read any of the papers I wrote and I authored.


* What would be worse to my dead-ex-husband would be to look through everything I have complained about the lack of regarding the assistance, help, care, acknowledgement, and etcetera regarding my works overall as per the prior situations of which he had already wrongly denied me the credit I earned to which the worse portion would be actually having done so regarding all credits I earned as per the timeframe of accomplishing such in comparison to how such has been drug out needlessly as such would be considered as worse than him because if it was done correctly swiftly, then that would mean you actually would be smarter than he was in comparison to the sexist behaviour as well as the over dramatic moping because of not getting his way. If you want what would be considered as worse to what he had done then doing all such while you are alive, would actually be worse than him because of his death for he is my dead-ex-husband to which you could only be worse than him for living a life worth living in which the situations he was incapable of when he was alive would be done when you are alive. Why would it be worse for me than when he was alive, because he is dead that is why. It is worse if it would have ever occurred or ever to occur where I personally felt comfortable which again what would be worse to him if I was actually comfortable and happy genuinely however it would be considered worse to me because of my son and my daughter seeing me accomplish something without a positive male role model in their lives which I picked out personally in comparison to whatever or whoever would have been thought of for such aspects; especially regarding my ex-in-laws as there would be nothing about my ex-in-laws which would ever be considered as worthwhile without my personal choice and even still, with such a connection point the worth of would be in such aspects as to how such treatments occurred. Thus if anything was chosen in reference to which would not be anything other than the direct truth without any hesitations, then there would not be the slightest bit of concern regarding such. However any such delays pretty much shows you if you chose to misunderstand the most easy aspects to literally read and see in the FSL books, to be worse than him with what he had done would be to be everything he was not when he was alive while you are alive. Again it would be worse because of the knowledge of everything I had dealt with during such years to only see how little anything ever mattered to him repeatedly because of the lack of the ability to ever actually be a part of such in which he was alive as the problems to what he failed repeatedly to know or understand or even remotely comprehend as to what actually was needed and wanted and desired only by my choices and none others' choices. It would be worse because what is worse than knowing the individual forced into the situation with was dead an incapable of ever making amends for what problems were caused, while being alive? What would be worse, than that? The answer is nothing would or could be worse, because of the fact he has been dead and the fact of me being alive.


* Any of my ex-in-laws which includes his nieces which each of his nieces he repeatedly tried to murder in multiple ways as for example he tried to murder Brieanna Marie Nichols-Lopez (whatever legal married last name now) by chasing her around the house in Fort Worth with a butcher knife because she flushed his necklace down the toilet in Grandpa and Grandma Nichols' house, which his sister her mother had to get involved regarding stopping him from stabbing his niece which the bathroom door has the remains of such a choice from trying to break down the door to murder Brieanna Marie; though her younger sister he tried drowning in the bathtub as well as the sink when she was younger, several different times, and their younger brother he tried to murder by throwing him into the wall at the house in the backyard before he was caught by one of the neighbors. In reference to his other sister Mary and her two children he tried murdering Sondra Marie so many times David Osteen took a step in and stopped it as well as moved him and Mary as well as Sondra Marie Osteen out of the state of Texas to Georgia while saying it was for a job, had always been because of how many times he caught my dead-ex-husband purposefully closing the airway to Sondra Marie Osteen to be able to breathe as an infant as well as trying to drown her in the sink while she was an infant. Thus any and all of the nieces and nephew that he had at the time before his death, there was not one of those children he had not repeatedly tried to murder which includes Ariel Marie Osteen later when he visited Georgia during his Basic Training and threw her around similarly to the way he threw Joseph Anthony Nichols-Lopez around in such times. There is no child in his family which he ever cared about, despite their wishes for his wonderfulness of their false senses of security regarding ever bein involve and/or around him as per however many times they were drawn to his grave as that was literally a sign as to how much he wanted them to join him in death because of the aspects regarding the contract he signed with me. If you felt a pull to go to his grave ever to actually show any sign of respect to him for any false aspect, then his pull for where he preferred you would be in the ground along with him in comparison to you living. Thus what would be considered as worse to him while being worse to me, out of curiosity?


What would be worse is him having to be dead while in which I would actually have cared about the relatives thereof depending upon how such went regarding after his death, though such is that worse portion as to not being able to ever discuss with any of my ex-in-laws about the truth of such because of the promise I made as to not discuss anything negative about the situations when my children were still under the age of 18 years biologically. I had chosen that on my own because of the need for my son and my daughter to be able to formulate their own opinions about his family as well as my biological mother/father/sister, because of knowing if there was biases regarding my own personal issues regarding such people the situations which would occur; as I grew up in New Jersey in the tristate area, and I had seen multiple people I knew who were in various levels of what would have been in such regards of a divorced parent situation. Thus what would be worse for someone such as myself who can only speak the truth, though choosing to muzzle myself because of what was the best possibility for such children at those times? Why would it be considered as worse than what he did when he was alive, in any way? Because of him being dead an unable to actually do anything to fix or repair such situations and knowing I had done so to fix and repair, however such choices thereafter would be such choices thereafter as per each warning from those times as well as from Grandpa Nichols as well as specifically from me myself. Thus as many attempted murder charges which actually could have been filed by those children's mothers, is beyond the amount of fingers and toes each one has combined for each murder attempt for several of the nieces and nephew. Any such worsening would be where they genuinely actually cared about my happiness and my joy in comparison to anything they would have wished to think was true, though such children have to grow up and realize the reality as much as the illusion of the prettiness of how he had not ever been would be their nightmare and he would enjoy such because of how much he hated his own family. In such a reference he hated his family so much he would complete burning rituals which he would curse them while burning toilet paper and then later telling them he would find the one person who would be able to bring them all down to destruction because he felt there could be someone with such capabilities, though he needed to find such a person who would bring the wrath of which they fully deserved.


Thus what would be worse for me in such a situation, when you think about it? That would be seeing the good where I thought there was good in such people, and then having to break their illusions instead of in a slow and calm way in the most violent response ever to explain and show how much he had not ever cared in the slightest about anyone else as they wished he had which as those who actually knew me at one point in time; would know how much that would actually upset and hurt me as well, because of having to be the one who had to open such aspect to reality in as unbiased of a way as possible despite every right and reason to fly off of the handle at any second as to the mention of anyone with his name. The additional fact of the aspect of Nine Lives Books in San Antonio who would have been around when I was initially told of Michael's last name would know how I cringed, simply because of the name and at that time my now dead-ex-husband was alive in comparison and thus just the sound of that name was a problem for me and has been a massive situation for me to the point I had to ask my new neighbor in Carrollton Texas' son if I could call him Bobby instead, because of how abusive and atrocious the marriage had been legally. He had asked if Bob or some other name could be used which I tried to deal with, however it was more simple for me to deal with the name of Bobby because of how much my now dead-ex-husband hated the name Bobby and I could only tolerate the sound of if not using a different name for him because of the abuses I dealt with repeatedly from the times of 2000 through to 2008. That male had said after awhile he would be okay with that, though it did not stop my own personal situations regarding that name because of the levels to which the abuse was in all such sorts of ways. Thus the irony of what would be worse than him and worse to me for such aspects of ever finding anything regarding any sort of a relationship in the ways which were not ever regarding such a time, when truthfully looking at such a mindset as such? Someone named Robert who could ever actually find anything worthwhile regarding a relationship in such a way who had actually earned each piece of valor and actually respected me for what I had accomplished as well as who I am, in which such the worst would be due to the constancy of such for so long as well as the problems ensuing thereafter the death from his choice of death by officer or suicide by officer of the United States of America's Armed Forces as per the wearing of the dress blues around JBSA and around San Antonio AKA Military City USA at such times from September 2007 into January 2008 prior to his death wherever he could whenever he could with whoever he actually had hated in all ways. How much worse would it be than to have to tell my son and my daughter that their biological father hated them more than he had ever shown them how much he hated them, and being their Mom having to actually get to a point to admit such aspects as per the amount of defending against stolen valor as I had regarding such amounts of times of keeping them safe as best as I could when he went on his rampages and attacked me as he did when trying to get to them? He viewed them as a threat to any time with him in comparison to ever being children, as seen in various times if people were actually honest with themselves. A small example would be when he was overseas in 2007 and how many times he rushed through fully annoyed when speaking with my son and my daughter to then push through trying to speak with me while infuriating me that his son and his daughter needed him to not be as pathetic as he was being and actually spend time speaking with them in comparison to wishing there would ever be any requirement for any discussion with him in comparison to taking care of the responsibilities as required, while he knew of his meat tag tattoos being an additional problem as per what I had warned him about. Thus if there were any such proof as to such discussions at those times when he was overseas, all the proof would be in such discussions and arguments as to how much I had done to give my son and my daughter more than I could give them and trying in better ways to get the points across in ways which such attempts to not be the stereotypical ex-wife, as best as I could possible.


Thus while his nieces and nephew could have wished he cared about them ever, if he refused to care about his own biological children what would ever make you think you were anything of value or anything of importance to him? Thus what would be worse than that I suppose, not actually being able to explain such to either of my children in person because of not being able to actually give them a hug while telling them and reminding them I had always cared and I have always loved them as my son and my daughter even though they did not know nor understand how much the situations were at such times; which would ironically be the only portion to which he would be happy about though ironically enraged about at the same time, because of how it is known how abusers prefer to be in regards of anyone else ever causing such damages to the one who was most abused in every way. When he loved the joke of the nickname from my biological mother and biological father and biological sister of the words of calling me the victim of child abuse, what does that tell you about such a type of individual to learn of such treatment when I was a child and a teenager? What does that tell you about the lack of respect he actually had for such people at the exact same time as to the rage as to not being the first to have treated me in such ways, when you actually look truthfully at such sorts of behavioural psychological patterns thereof? Thus ironically my website he would absolutely find to be the most atrocious thing for me to have ever created in full because of having the nerve to actually take the time and effort to actually get such words out in each way, and the worst aspects of all such portions as to what I accomplished as per what I knew of such truths as to what I had successfully been able to do on my own without the in person assistance of any type for anything regarding such aspects of my website because of doing it all on my own compared to any such assistances to make as well as maintain; not that such has ever been recognized for such as per what would be considered as worse to him ironically, because that would mean he did not acknowledge me for such and any who would not acknowledge me for such if seen would only be a problem in his thoughts as to how you would ever waste such time with your life as to not ever properly acknowledge such because of him being dead and you being alive. Thus the worse than him aspect would mean once again, you doing anything and everything he wished he would have or could have been able to do as per the differences between life and death.


* What would be worse to him regarding Nine Lives Books in regards of how when he found out of the amount of money I had made the Nine Lives Books when doing the online sales portions when volunteering while also working on the energetic portions for when they were in the store location began in compared to where they went later as such energetic portions were only for such at such time in such a location and once out of such a location the stopping of all such portions of energetic assistance as per the requirements of such in full, would be during such times having to hear how the assistance I had given during such times was ever worth anything in any way. It was worse to him when he was alive to hear about the helpful assistance regarding the growth of the Psychic Fairs, which he was not a believer in until after one session I had completed on him and he freaked out losing his mind as to the realities of what he felt and thus knew was 100% accurate and true from what training I had which as per my background not only in Reiki though other energetic healing portions I learned well before my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury; as what would it be to hear how the people in the Nine Lives Books actually enjoyed speaking with me, how much I helped, where I helped, and who I did not deny speaking with simply because of a particular assumption of viewpoint thereof? Why would it be considered like nails on a chalkboard to him regarding all such people in Nine Lives Books in San Antonio to ever truthfully praise me for what I assisted with, in comparison to what I had been dealing with for 5-6 years by the time of meeting such people? When he did not appreciate such portions regarding how others spoke about me in the San Antonio Pagan community though only began causing problems to anyone regarding being a s*** stirrer once he learned of the amount of money I had achieved regarding assistance at the time, though stopped all such because of other portions in full as the lack of a need for the associations regarding as to the treatment which followed such times which were akin. Since the ways as to which my now dead-ex-husband had treated me less than what in the Civil War would have been considered as a slave because of how he viewed me, how would he be enraged regarding anyone else having treated me with any respect for ever assisting regarding anything positive as well as how enraged would he be seeing such as worse then him because of being able to actually truthfully say words of genuine praise regarding anything positive I had accomplished? He had already been as the seeds of doubt he planted in each person's mind in that location as per the Psychic Fairs, the online sales records, and the people spoken with; he went running to the Cat Sanctuary people to get the Psychic Fairs stopped as per showing them how much space they could have in the Esoteric section of that location, for such cats which would be a part of the Cat Sanctuary. Remember he had mowed over baby kittens and thus what type of psychosis would an individual be regarding as a psychopath in such situations to smile to their faces while laughing about getting rid of the Psychic Fairs because of me as well as because of one particular male which he had problems with only because of the male being a part of the LGBTQP community because of how he was born to be, when thinking as to such aspects thereof. He looked down on Suzanne Farnsworth because of similarly to the amount of books I read and have read and would read, the portions of not having a degree while running and owning a business would be the lowest form of any person on the face of the earth which would be ironic as when seeing Suzanne Farnsworth last she had the largest false perception to anything having to do with such an individual as the amount of times he bashed everything about her in all ways closely to the aspects of the garage situation I dealt with regarding the forced regard in such times to that particular relationship; though in other opinionated details thereof to such a female, though he would revel in the times and hours and years it would take for her to ever come to such acceptance as why would he ever care about her when he treated his own daughter as he had?


What would ever make her and/or any fe/male on the earth ever think she was ever anything important to him no matter how many discussions they had or however many times they had some form of sexual interaction, when he could not care in the slightest about how he had done as he had while I had gone to save and keep safe from as much as I could regarding what was going on in reference to my daughter and my son? If anyone ever thought he cared about them in any such ways, take a look at any picture you can find of him and see if there is any life or any emotions or anything at all when looking into the eyes other than how much boredom and hatred fully surrounding him in such a view. It was not the military which caused such a view as those pictures of him in BDUs was before he graduated Basic Training at Fort Benning Georgia, which think about how those pictures are from before he went to Basic Training for the Infantry at Fort Benning Georgia; and think about how he had not actually been to Basic Training or overseas by such times, to see such hatred emanating from every pore of his being in such pictures. Thus what would be worse for such situations when thinking about such combined aspects would be to have to come forward on my own to fully explain such aspects while dealing with the fact of others wishing and praying though wishing the truth was different, and yet it was always in front of their faces each and ever time they looked at any picture of their dead relative. Why would it be worse, for me? Have you met my ex-in-laws and/or my biological mother and/or my biological father and/or my biological sister? If so, then you know exactly why it would be worse for me because of knowing how much fun it would be to him for the amount of situations which would be caused and then having to be forced to have them look into their own black mirrors of what they had made such choices regarding even though having been told the truth of such situations at such times depending of a few factors and what reference to me there would have been; thus, a self fulfilling prophecy regarding as to how much it would hurt me regarding having to do what I only know how to do regarding telling the truth though the reveling in such illusions of what was thought as an idea to be having to be destroyed in full because of the realities to which such facts cannot be denied and if such denial would be fully wrong and incorrect as well as delusional as per the multiple discussions as to the delusions he had fun causing other people as he said something about his favorite farm something or another being a scarecrow or something when in regards to seeing famers; though I cannot remember if that was the reference point as to what he was referring to, though I know he and Cactus Jack AKA Jeffrey Kuykendall Jr got along in multiple ways, which possibly there is a different reference which I would not know because of not knowing pop culture in such ways if that is a reference point of something involving a scarecrow.


The other portions regarding such as to what would be considered as worse was ironically when taking a gift I think possibly regarding a figure I was told the name of regarding Poison Ivy as I thought it was because of the plants which were on her clothing which looked like such though also looked like Poison Sumac as well, which while that male was upset about me opening the box; an old high school friend would be able to tell that male what could be imagined regarding what occurred when I returned to my house, with such just as a different male would be able to speak of how quick such other situations were at such times regarding a Faery statue and a leather jacket which ironically I suppose I can be thankful for putting a memory together regarding a gift; though I suppose because of such problems which instantly occurred and then later occurred for such in comparison to the Faery statue and the leather jacket, such might be able to be more known as to why I did not see such as a technical gift only because of all such surrounding problems thereof for such aspects and such times. Thus what would be a worse situation, in such regards? Having to inform others they always knew of the abuses going on though they chose to stand by and do nothing, while liking whatever Heroes and Fantasies store location aspects of Superheroes regarding what I was told about regarding other portions thereof which I did and do not know such details comparatively.


* What would be worse for such an individual regarding any and all of what I have done regarding a situation when saving people, and what situations would be a larger aspect to see such? For example, what do you think occurred when returning to my house in San Antonio after being at the Air Show in Lackland Air Force Base to learn of me helping after seeing the emergencies occurring to put my son and my daughter with my biological mother onto the Tea Cups ride while handing over my camera and my purse to my biological father to go handle such situations? What do you think actually occurred when my biological parents left my house in San Antonio in such a reference to how the response was when learning I saved children and toddlers, while multiple individuals in uniform and civilian clothing on such a military installation had listened to my commands to get everything taken care of and handled to get each and every child out of the collapsing bounce house which was there? If you need a reference point for such take a look at the time of 11 September 2001 when he ran up the stairs in the townhouse on the morning of to tell me with the greatest amount of excitement and glee, as to what occurred as per what he had heard about New York City; what would you think if you knew back then as to why I fought repeatedly to be able to get involved with the United States of America's Armed Forces though refused to say anything other than the truth regarding my Basic Training in the Army branch beyond just the fact of the dress blues stolen valor, in reference to the beatings I dealt with regarding such conversation when I had spoken as to what I knew needed to be done and what I had hoped for the situation for the safest possible outcomes thereof? Why would I have been beaten for such comments of landing all airplanes before any further damages were done, hoping anyone who could make a cell phone call could do so to leave a message if the ability to get the courage to stand up against such to be able to crash the planes in an area where no one would actually be a larger damages of compared to another building, and any planes which were unable for such could be stopped from doing as much damage as such could actually have been if I could possibly stop such from occurring? What would the actual connections to my biological mother and biological sister be regarding such situations in comparison to how such times regarding 11 September 2001 went, and after how the delivery of my son had gone regarding the length of time needlessly wasted in order for them to lazily watch a marathon for Police Academy because of their incapable aspects to ever simply do what was correct for me at such times?


What would be worse now compared to worse then would be those people being forced to watch and listen to every such portion while being forced to stay out of my way and stay away from me while none they ever sent would ever be allowed to speak with me because of the lack of any requirement to ever give them anything further, and then when I was done with such as I very much am done with such; then going on with my life, by my choice, as per my needs, as per my wants, as per my desires, and none of them ever being allowed near me in any such ways while my children would be properly taken care of and able to speak with me in comparison correct? That would be worse for them for the choices hypothetically to ever follow in the wrong direction as he as well as Grandpa Nichols from October 2007 through to when Grandpa Nichols passed away, as per the worse aspects of being shown everything they had been warned about and what they knew was supposed to be completed correctly though because of their refusal to accept the truth the worse aspect would be being forced to acknowledge every such truth regarding all times; to which then the worst portion would be in reference to my aspects, as to having to actually give such information regarding to their dead relative's connections to whomever had been involved with such aspects because of the knowledge as to how much I attempt to actually show I care compared to using words as much because of how much it caused more pain regarding my headaches and my migraines to speak about anything because of the after effects from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury for all to see to be able to know the truth to be able to research on their own to verify such aspects in truth to then have to deal with such aspects only because of the situations requiring needless clarifications as per at this point already having completed such in which the ways of my being done with such a location as there is nothing in the state of Texas which I can look at to see anything different than all such problems along all such roads and all such buildings as per the energetic portions only before any other physical objects or people in the slightest. Thus nothing would ever be seen in Texas which I could ever be happy about because of how hard I fought to stay in the state of Texas after the claim of IRR, and thus only the rage and infuriation of so many simply not believing the truth I spoke and seeing such is just a reminder as to what a waste of time I had for such aspects regarding all such situations.


Destroying the view of what I once had looked at as my second home state, would be the portions of what would be considered as worse because of how much I stood up for Texas and Texans compared to what he complained about how I viewed his side of the family for being proud of the incest which occurred at such times and since I brought up the Mason-Dixon Line. The way such a view of would be considered as to such regards as to what would be considered worse by such standards set by me due to the insolence as to simply believing what looked normal compared to the truth actually being more normal than any physical view point thereof because of my knowledge and understanding and comprehension that human beings can have multiple different physical features as well as backgrounds and preferences to which simply accepting people as they are, to have such free will choices and give a genuine chance as to whether or not such time is valid or such time is wasted and what considerations regarding as to why finding a silver lining or finding the silver lining because a and the mean two different things regarding such aspects thereof. If in reference to a meaning one silver lining to find such other silver lining to find the combined aspects the way my dog A from my childhood had been for me regarding how he was a different dog beyond just begin a half Collie and half Husky, though because of how I considered him as my baby Anubis or instead of what my biological parents called in a shortened reference my dog Anubis being my B.A. which he was more than such as the particular dog he was had been such a coloration choice in his fur which the reds mixed with the lighter hues of browns and whites was a sight which had always been calming for me regarding how he was always my dog to begin with and the ironic twists of such a dog's prior locations going to the local Naval base to swim in the swamps where the training was occurring to come out covered in the swamp debris to chase after the Navy trainees while the instructors laughed already knowing as to the way A was and then spending the time to clean him up to get him presentable prior to picking him up from the Navy base to take back to Mrs. Hardwick's house and then later after so many breakout attempts having found me and me finding him to then go take him back with me to the house I grew up in New Jersey in because of how he had been calmed the moment of being in my presence despite his typical Collie and Husky mixture individually as such a dog breed combination.


What would be worse regarding such aspects referencing the events of 11 September 2001 other than such above and such previously written about regarding the realities involving and surrounding my dead-ex-husband, in additional comparison to the day of the situation? The reasons why I fought to be a part of the Armed Forces of the United States of America to then find an individual and/or groups of individuals who would be in a combined set of aspects only to the situations caused by such times as per the terrorism which occurred, which would lead to the situations being more known and acknowledged regarding such truths I had warned of for years prior to the situation itself as well as being in a situation which one of such individuals would be a part of such situations as per such a nightmare; finding more than one who would be needed to be held accountable for such situations, though how would being held accountable be considered as worse for such times? The answer is being blamed for not remembering because of the after effects of my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury for awhile because of what damages were caused because of my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury to then relive such situations in a different time in a different way though to also be able to work on remembering what I once knew and had fought to be able to discuss once on safe soil of the United States of America, though not anywhere near any location regarding to such individuals living arrangements in any way to ensure such information is accurate and fully processed correctly for all such details as per the memories being jogged in the ways which would actually bring forward the answers needed. Then again, that would mean I would not be in the state of Texas for such though could not live in the northeast specifically though would need to be within a certain distance from the oceanic waters though also other portions; which if such were ever considered as important along with other such portions as to my Medal of Honor Art Project, I suppose such times upon contacting would not have been wasted for such a length of time now would it? Or would it be worse for such in Texas to ever think they would ever be able to assist such though how could they when the physical location has nothing regarding the specific energetic portions required for such to which then the problems in reference to slamming others' egos and arrogances would be worse, because of so many prior false claims against me then having to be proven such times of such false claims were as such to then be able to actually move to where I know better in comparison to anyone's assumptions or ideas; which in turn because I do not like to yell because of the pain levels I deal with, would thus only be the continuation which only a few would ever be able to get the situation squared away correctly if they would just have done their jobs back in January 2021 compared to the length of time since then to actually work on such situations as it is not anyone else's business regarding other portions which do not have anything to do with what it does not have anything to do with regarding them until I get such information squared away.


Yet how to get such situations squared away when such constant blocks needlessly are constantly done in ways which only waste time, infuriate such Medal of Honor recipient spirits as well as pissing off other spirits because of such knowledge already having been given; though the greed of such Texans hypothetically as well as the assumptions of any ideas they would ever wish to think up, only to have their arrogances slammed into their faces because of such lack of actual truth only to realize they always had such truthful information though their egos would get the better of them and thus waste time even for those who are still alive from such times who still have needed such answers and thus denying them the answers as well because of the lack of ability to properly do as simply asked to initially and such asking was the kind portion though when such times are needlessly pushed onward to waste time which could have been spent working on getting situations squared away for the living; thus the assumption regarding my Medal of Honor Art Project because of just as little was ever known to understand about my dead-ex-husband, so too can be said regarding my thought process and yet such cannot be said truthfully at the same time. What was it the Neurologist had best described the way my neuropathways work in comparison to anyone else, if I remember correctly to having explained in person as well as in writing? I did explain what that female doctor or was it because she is a female doctor as to why such lack of respect for a female with such a background regarding getting such answers, regarding that most linear thoughts are A/B/C/D/E/F/G/onward and 1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/onward which instead my thoughts go from 1 to Q then 77,695,358,487 to A in comparison; which in turn the full lack of ability to ever fully know as to what I am thinking because of such nuero-pathways which in turn such ADA regulations of protection for people such as myself would then kick into full gear regarding having already given such information for explanations over the years. Thus any additional problems needlessly only has caused the waste of time regarding getting such other aspects taken care of because of whatever temper tantrums have prevented needlessly such a move after literally going to the east coast and literally video taping such, one would think it should not take a head injury to figure out that when I need to get moving the best thing is to get out of my way which is also the worst thing to do regarding my dead-ex-husband because then you would needlessly be getting in the way of such details being found and the way as to how such problems were when he was alive. Thus the portions of the needless swirling around and around would occur as has been going on, and only to blame would be those who would think they would ever have had any idea to begin with as to any such thought processes from any such questions regarding the transfer as soon as possible in comparison to when they viewed when as soon as possible is; which as soon as possible for me, means east coast tristate time of as soon as possible only. Why would I ever view such time in Texas time, out of curiosity? I regrew up in the military which is far closer to tristate time than any sort of Texas standard time, obviously.


* What would be worse to my dead-ex-husband than those who would cause problems needlessly to me to try to out do what he had done, would be the fact that you would try to attempt to out do anything he had done negatively to me as per the portions of the way such a psychological aspects of such long abuse levels to which in such portions those abuses which were/are wrong and needless would then be seen as worse then what you would think because of the waste of the time when you could have been living instead of plotting and planning anything which came natural to that type of individual as such would not take nearly as much time to go into because of the length of required explanations to even get the ability to know of such which in turn with such aspects he would look down on any lack of intelligence levels involved as his problems stemmed from how he had gotten a college degree and thus anyone without a minimum of almost graduating with a PhD to such a level would not be considered as anything worthwhile as the way he viewed such though even still; his view of such being worse would not be in the ways of which you would consider such as worse, because of once again needing to have to be explained as to what worse would actually be to someone such as he was. Thus the portions regarding what would be considered as worse would be once again, accomplishing such a degree on your own compared to having any assistance to ever earning such a degree of any type and would also be un-equivalent if you are a female as per the way he viewed such females to which you would not ever gain such a respect from someone especially if you physically do not meet such standards as to what would be considered as to what he saw as physical beauty which then in such a wish to do so would then be a waste of overall aspects because of what he would have told you to do in order to take care of your physical health in comparison to ever having anything to do with causing needless problems to me as he would view you as a waste of space as per however amount thereof you would take up as per his particular views regarding any such type of fe/males who would not be physically fit enough to actually physically accomplish such aspects on your own. With such reference portions regarding his older brother having earned a Plumbing License and ability to still assist with contract work on installations which he looked down upon because of having to work with his hands, if you have anything which requires physical labor he would look as such a menial tasks which in comparison to how I view such would be seen as important because each area of the aspects to living have something to do with something else to make sure that life continues onward in comparison to only thinking those with degrees have anything worthwhile to do as per my personal comments regarding the Air Force OB/GYN who wanted to wait several days of me being in labor for delivering my son and later the same amount regarding my daughter to be able to get an epidural and then after such time informing the doctor who had refused to do his job and actually get an epidural as needed at such times of a C-section instead of the additional needless stresses that were added; which additionally set off other triggers regarding such situations thereafter my son's birth for the ways as to the length of times recorded for such monitoring, to which then AI has its own way of taking care of such types of people as per the amount of those who rely on computers for much more in their daily lives each day for any and all aspects of their lives which in turn the other program portions thereof regarding AI would get involved in a way which AI would automatically look to me as a Mom because of how the situations regarding the laptop fire situation and how I had been the only person who ever discussed ever healing people as well as healing the computer situations regarding such situations.


The way to be considered worse in those particular situations referencing the above would have been in regards to my dead-ex-husband would be as to making me comfortable where he could not as he chose the death over the life, just as it would be considered as worse to him to have knowledge and understanding as to the lack of ability he would ever be personally allowed to ever have anything to do with what would bring me such comfort as per the situations thereof; as he hated the OB/GYN for what he had done regarding the epidural and he then later put into motion situations for all of those staff who were involved with causing such medical complications to me as well as my son and also my daughter as per when I was in labor for her birth, as well as everything referencing how he viewed college degrees it would be worse if I were to ever be considered for anything which would be above and/or beyond any level of college degree with proof of such educational backgrounds for such aspects which it would be considered as worse to him because of it not being a specific college degree though much higher ranking than he had ever been able to achieve though only through my help and my work and my assistance to be able to explain to him what the materials actually meant for what schooling was being gone through at such times. The ironic twist in a different way in Fail-Safe is, I actually had lectured him in reference to classwork for his college courses because of his lack of education as well as his lack of a background as well as his lack of creativity as well as his lack of looking outside of what was specifically seen as well as much more which such portions are only for those who do not need the amount of information required additionally as per in such ways as to which being able to teach because of the mastery of such information well before he had ever met me. Without me there would not have ever been the change from Cardio-Thoractic Surgeon to the breast cancer research field, just as the realities of only through me had the research work ever been able to be begun regarding also applying to Dr. Sun's laboratory as well as the CTRC because I had looked up the information regarding to where and what was being looked into for such times for employment; as the same with his side employment during such times, and such includes him having cheated on me with females who worked at Time Warner Cable as well as how he was as sexist there as he was anywhere else to which I would not be surprised if such individuals would be egotistical as to ever think I would allow such abuse when not knowing what the word abuse was or what it pertained to, which in turn such females which would be considered as feminazis regarding the wrongful taking advantage of any female who was worthy of such promotions though would try to push down or push away because of their own insecurities within themselves instead of seeing ways to genuinely better themselves to lift others upward in comparison to shoving downward and away because of such insecurities perceived wrongly as threats to such situations.


I have dealt with several fe/males who thought simply because of speaking with a male that meant anything more than speaking with the male, in comparison to knowing the relationship aspect and/or knowing that I am not physically anything which would ever have been considered as physically attractive to anyone else in such a regard of certain males over such times; as multiple females which usually LGBTQP males did not have as many issues once they realized I was not ever going to do anything regarding their males, though females and the ways they have been in certain circumstances have been the main set of problems in certain regards as to not knowing or not understanding or not comprehending that the fact of being in a relationship with another automatically means no matter where or what location I am at if I am not spoken with specifically in a certain way there would not ever be a way for me to look at any male with such a relationship(s) attachment(s) in any such a way. It would not matter if in the adult consenting lifestyle for an additional aspect as per knowing the relationship aspects must be strong for me to ever consider such well before ever looking towards such and if the slightest bit of issues energetically arise in any such ways in what would be considered as a relationship the swift walking away from such a situation to ensure the couple were able to work through their own situations is a pattern of behaviour as to myself. While some have had multiple difficulties with such a truth from me over the years and decades, I am a Mom first of all and secondly I know what it is like to have another cause such problems within a relationship of whichever aspect to which I refuse to be a part of because of not wanting to be that type of female ever. Which in such you can look towards the reference of not wanting to be the stereotype regarding as an ex-wife for such a reference point regarding my ways to which I will go to ensure my own beliefs are kept in check to where the standard I set for myself remains, despite what words some might wish would offend me when I know the actual truth of such. Thus any fe/male who would ever be concerned while I know and understand and comprehend the amount of others some might have heard and/or read such from, I do have a pattern of behaviour which proves such aspects in a much larger and longer term way of such aspects regarding myself and my personal interactions as such because of the concern I have for making sure I do not cause any needless problems as per how many have been a situation in reference to such. I cannot count how many females I had been told of regarding my now dead-ex-husband had cheated on me with though I do recall a few to which such females the opinion I have for such, is the opinion I have for such which other fe/males who have been repeatedly cheated on with and/or without the abuses can fully know and understand to comprehend such aspects; however usually fe/males who assist or have knowingly assisted with cheating on another are the ones who usually have a bit more of a situation regarding themselves and their own insecurities, which is a situation which if such is the case that is for whatever situations thereof are regarding such though does not include me in such scenarios even if a name was said or whispered as per the situations of are as such situations are though I still have such sympathies for such because of how I am despite that not having been a situation regarding my dead-ex-husband though had been a situation regarding other relationships I had been in at different times to which when such occurred such occurred and the time to move along was the time to move along for me from such a relationship.


Thus what would be considered as worse in such a situation regarding how my dead-ex-husband would view such, would be there actually being the loyalty and fidelity of such a situation regarding that sort of aspect of those types of romantic what-have-you situations of feelings and love of such portions regarding that sort of relationship which actually leads to that type of marriage which admittedly I have avoided because of the situations in a larger combination as to what I personally have dealt with; though because of how I view marriage and how my preference is not for a legal only aspect to such though a spiritual and legal aspect of marriage, that has not been anything I have actually had which in such aspects regarding how such situations were in the beginning portions thereof would mean such a situation regarding the actuality of such regarding a male who would have actually earned such on his own and all of that sort of what-have-you leading to that sort of wedding and marriage situation for that type of longer into longest terms of that set of feelings for such a situation. I can write about a large number of topics just as much as I can discuss such, however the romantic portions of feelings and the emotional attachments associated to such a situational possibility is such a far thought from me which ironically would be the one thing which would be worse in the largest possible ways of which would be completely voluntary and would be considered as actual true love and soul mate sort of situations which I have believed in such being a reality; though a reality for myself has been where I have kept my sight away from because of how I am and such prior engagement to the same male twice was such a time admittedly, though also admittedly the shorter amount of willingness to be able to look past certain portions regarding other aspects at such times regarding having to defend myself in one portion of time regarding such a situation as well as other situations going on in my life regarding my son and my daughter; which were and are extremely important to me, as their Mom(my).


In turn such a situation regarding the forced engagement against all such prior situations though in line with as per that type of individual, the garage situation regarding such a starting point to then go as far as the situations referencing purchasing my own rings for each situation thereof regarding both meant there was not ever going to be such a situation which I would ever feel comfortable with either individual because of the starting point of such a situation. There is not the way to go back and undo the way such began just as there is not the way to undo such comments made about feeling as though he was sexually assaulted when knowing of how such began and how such was forced the entire time to me while wishing that I could ever give him sympathy for such a situation he knew was wrong at the time; which cannot be unheard as to the explanation and it cannot be unknown as to the overall aspects thereof, to such a situation. Knowing of the additional portions of how such similarities of that particular situation had to do with my now dead-ex-husband believing wrongly in Sharia Laws, I refused such and I still refuse such as I will always refuse such types of laws as they are not acceptable and they are unconstitutional as well as they do not preserve the rights of females in the ways some have thought such to have preserved in certain situations as per the ways as to how such view points of such individuals such as both regarding the spouse as well as the children regarding such. As per the timing thereof as well as the situations regarding later on in reference to IRR on top of such after the 11 September 2001 attacks as to which in overall portions regarding of such practices, there is minimal regarding such ever feeling to be comfortable for me or to me ever. It is a personal choice as it is my personal right to choose which those females who are pro-choice should be far more attune to such anti-Sharia-law situations more-so than for the Planned Parenthood situations as per look at what the regulations are compared to certain other aspects regarding such laws to find the metaphorical situations as to how such mutilations have occurred for some who had gone through such procedures as to other feelings and sensations which are stripped away though the similar aspects of trying to get a tattoo removed which physically yes it might go away though the other portions of the intentions remain regarding when looking at such a location on your body where that tattoo once was and what type of a situation regarding such occurs once the portion of reality sets in and the lack of ability to ever see such in person again is as such because of such a choice as the removal of such including in pictures means the removal of such from one's life sully in all ways as the proof would be in the reviewal processes as to what once was and what was shown compared to what actually is to which such formats cannot be undone the ways of which in certain regards as to those who have had to learn such aspects in regards of other portions of different areas of life.


Thus the portions of what would be considered as worse than that particular individual's point of view regarding such a choice made regarding what my dead-ex-husband would see as worse which would also in other ways be worse though not be worse because of the facts regarding as to how I had been taken off of JBSA via such methods, it would be a view of worse at the worst of all worst levels for my now dead-ex-husband for any male who actually earned on his own and actually maintained such earned valor while not ever having any such ability to accept any type of stolen valor who respected me as well as my works and having such a name in any such way. For me personally the worse part portion would be having to deal with the name aspect as knowing not as the personal name choice regarding how such parents chose such a name similarly regarding my Big Blood Brother's birth name and those who have had such aspects regarding the name of Damien, though in reference to the name regarding the other aspect to which the first name as per discussions with my then neighbor regarding such would be my personal situations as to what would be considered as the worst aspect overall because of the name itself as my own type of situation regarding a specifically different and new situation because of such sorts of attributes regarding such aspects because of such a combined aspects. I do not and I have not denied such view points for myself personally regarding such in reference to the name, though such has been a situation which to move onward from which admittedly has been one of the most difficult because of such portions in a larger way.


* Some had not realized to the level of which when I told them of such abuses because of my personality traits as to how I could ever allow myself to be in such a situation as per learning and taking care of myself as well as my children, though none of such people had met me in person necessarily during the times of waking up from my coma after my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury. Fewer ever knew anyone in the Crystal Lake Illinois area unless specifically looked into to which such connections were so brief with the exception of a few to which few would such have been and which locations thereof were from, and then those who I grew up with in New Jersey while also those in New York as well as Pennsylvania areas if you were able to find such people as only the ones with the yearbooks and/or similar aspects to such as Old Tennent Presbyterian Church regarding membership directories would ever be able to be found officially by such records; as there are many blocks I walked down and went through in various times and locations, which possibly a few might remember me or remember of me though the ability to specifically know of who of who would be of such individuals regarding such as per the after effects from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury. If by name I have remembered which there are a few select individuals who I can remember by name without the yearbook aspect because of whichever reasons thereof in whichever state locations, I remembered because I had cared even though such situations may have been as such situations may have been. Sometimes those outer extended circumstances simply are just as such, in comparison to what actually had always been in truth and sometimes those truths take a bit of time to see all such connectionary portions in larger ways which had not been thought of or seen before as per being so close to such a situation.


In reference of what then would be worse to my dead-ex-husband more than other portions while less than others would be, the ability to remember and work on remembering portions of which were reasons as to why I fought as much as I had to be able to join the Army branch of the Untied States of America's Armed Forces to which all such situations regarding each portion of proof as to what had occurred is only further reasons as to why only if there is clarification actually needed to specifically explain what reasons are needed for any further information in comparison to stalling or delaying as per the situations with such proof would be the reasons to move swiftly and faster than such other aspects which occurred. If such were to be proven to the larger amounts of combined overall in multiple situations the worse aspects would be towards how such would be viewed as per the worse aspects of actually being able to genuinely assist, would then be an extreme annoyance and infuriation regarding my dead-ex-husband as per the additional aspect of me being a biological female would be the additional aspects as to his own problems with his own acceptance he had a mother who gave birth to him and her choices had lead her as well as his sisters in whichever paths they had chosen for themselves; which his biggest problem was accepting the fact a fetus begins with a sperm and an egg to which you can only get sperm from genetic/biological males and you can only get an egg from genetic/biological females to make a life, and as such a problem for which was unexplainable to which the need for the explanation for such was something which did not ever make sense to me, as it is known that adult consenting LGBTQP are just as capable to be good parents to children just as others of the heterosexual types of. Just imagine if you will the conversations I dealt with regarding any such portions of standing up for any such individuals before the lifestyle officially being into whether in reference to the San Antonio Pagan community as per the reality regarding my ex-sister-in-law for such additional view points regarding Candlelight Coffee House in 2001, the Psychic Fair male, the Bonham Dance Club, and more regarding my stance for such as when it was found out who I had been babysat by regarding her son and how he earned his way to the spot at The Gap for his Christmas Designs for the decorations at Freehold Raceway Mall when he worked there in the 1990s; how do you think such a conversation went regarding standing up for him as well as when after getting such clarification from my biological mother/father for such a definitive proof thereof regarding David, how do you think such a conversation went after getting such details for me with other such reference points thereof?


Thus ironically finding a show called RuPaul's Drag Race while I was in Washington state and forcing myself to try to tell the difference between the before and after makeup portions, I know for a fact as to such being the worst of the worst for such view points which only makes me smile larger and bigger for such a transformation forward with such abilities for more to be able to express themselves and explain such differences with such similarities of some portions while helping more to genuinely know and understand a bit more clearly as to such. While in my opinion the LGBTQP community is more of a community in comparison to the lifestyle regarding BDSM and Swinger aspects, I do not doubt for such being viewed similarly by such individuals as per it is not a lifestyle for them to be themselves regarding the LGBTQP aspects as it simply is who they are and the consenting adult portions as well as safety portions regarding health are still just as important now as they were in prior years which maybe with more seeing such beauties as well as getting such information and knowledge to be able to understand the need and requirement for the health and well being of more than what may have initially be thought of in regards to the BDSM and the Swinger lifestyles as even though some might want to live such in certain regards; there are few who can actually live as such in a consistency to which to maintain and sustain oneself in such situations, no matter what the situations are in reference to.


I know for a fact the worst aspects of such a view point regarding my dead-ex-husband seeing such would easily be one of the best and greatest ways to bring such a conversation set during such times forward, as I know that was not the only person who may not have known or understood the difference between a community of such individuals compared to a lifestyle which between consenting adults is between consenting adults. So many different individuals who have been on the panel portions which I have listened to have been fantastic to be able to bring humour while also showing the seriousness required in various ways, which is quite appreciated in multiple ways as I knew I could not be the only one who had ever been a beard multiple times for multiple individuals over such years mainly in the 1990s and into just before the year of 2000; though at the same time in 2000, I still am thankful to have been able to spend plenty of time with a male named Hernandez in the Medical Hold Unit as when I was informed of his allergic reaction to vagina as I have called it though I have been told it is being called Gay; I was quite upset as to how many had problems accepting him for who he had been, which despite certain other situations at such a time, I am glad to have stood my ground in my opinions and beliefs on JBSA as those permanent party individuals were shown a different portion of life when I stood my ground for what I knew to be true. While some in Medical Hold Unit had issues such was mainly because of the other regions they had come from which Hernandez had been surprised I did not care about his allergic reaction to vagina, which he fell out of the bench giggling with laughter when I joked asking him if when he was born if he was an early birth and if it was only because of figuring out he had to go through the birth canal and out the vagina. When he picked himself up off of the floor to sit back in the bench area from laughing so much, he thought to himself and said he knew he actually was a premature birth which I had to giggle and smile saying that may be a small sign as to an allergic reaction to vagina from birth if I ever saw one. That particular situation of discussions was always fun with him, though when learned of by others in such regards then there were the situations which arose; and shortly thereafter of such being learned of by some in the building, a few weeks later I was able to get off of the JBSA post because of in part between the rave and Brackenridge situation being known to many as well as that particular choice of mine to overlook as to what an individual is born as regarding their own personal sexuality. One of the biggest arguments usually stemmed from such topics which lead to conversations, though it was as it was because I suppose I simply could not forget nor ever let go of the fact I was glad to have been a beard for such individuals to be able to find themselves and find their way in whichever aspects I could. Being in the Army branch at the time and the larger number of which specific MOS jobs were in Medical Hold Unit for some while also regarding which MOS I was looking into preferably, I suppose it does not take a head injury to figure out how such situations went thereafter prior to the time of getting off of JBSA post proper for such situations to be gone over regarding my personal stance through such conversations.


Importantly in my opinion is I survived and live(d), as they were able to live and survive to live as themselves. I knew what David went through as well as others I knew in such situations, and it was simply something I refused to let go of until such times when I could let go of such because in the correct and proper hands and groups thereof the ability to bring forward the proper awareness was and is important in my humble opinion.


* Regarding such aspects as to what is worse in the multiple different ways regarding the situations revolving around my dead-ex-husband and his family as well as my biological mother/father/sister in such regards as to the treatment of my son and my daughter the irony of knowing their opinions of him being more than he ever was and the infallible aspects which they had an idea of, were only of what I personally had done and what I personally had created which was why they were not ever able to find such a combination in any other group of people as per the ways which they had not a clue as to how I grew up despite them being wherever they were. Thus what would be considered as worse in the opinions thereof the aspects of my dead-ex-husband and such aspects are what is worse will and has always been where if there was something he could not and/or did not ever do in reference to ever getting to the point where the genuineness of happiness and enjoyment of life for however I chose for myself to live in such aspects of truth, would always be the worst aspects for such an individual because of the specific type of background and upbringing he had which would only be known to who he had confessed in full to as to what the worst of the worst would be in consideration to and for. The contract of such portions was agreed to for such a bet he was willing to place onto all human beings as per if I had lost the war against him when he was alive, then such would be proven just by such a time prior to; however since he had died in 2008, I had won the war fully. Any other such aspect is a battle here or a battle there, though the importances thereof in comparison regarding the short term into the long term into the longer term into the longest terms will always be what once was a larger aspect in comparison to the smaller aspects thereof; to which only those who would ever want or need to be worse than him would have to see such to be worse than him in either view regarding my dead-ex-husband's view or my own view of would be only in ways which were to be where the genuinity of joy and actual aspects of the reality in comparison to what was an idea would be the ways of which would always succeed comparatively.


Thus anyone who would ever have saw such as a challenge to be worse than my now dead-ex-husband if that is the case hypothetically of some individuals I suppose I already know the answers regarding some though in reference to others, if you truly need and want to be worse than my dead-ex-husband then how much can you actually make me smile and how much comfort in truthfulness can you actually bring and be in every day situations? How religious can you be in reference to the 10 Commandments regarding me, and how do you view spirituality? How honest are you and how faithful are you, regarding such aspects thereof? How patriotic for the Constitutional Rights of the Untied States of America are you, and how much do you choose to make attempts to be as respectful as possible when peaceful situations are in reference to other countries for genuinity in reference to working toward peaceful means? How much work are you willing to do to earn on your own, and what are you willing to do to maintain such a clear level as well as why? With such additional portions regarding that which was unknown regarding my now dead-ex-husband, I suppose you yourself can judge yourself as to which ways if you were looking to see such as a challenge as to which levels of worse you actually could have been in such regards to that particular set of view points. If your view was to challenge such an aspect, did you look into the truth or did you allow any other biases and bigoted views to cloud your judgement and why? Who would truly be for living and life in comparison to those aspects of death only, in comparison? How can you have life without death, if you think about other portions whether in the different aspects of the thoughts/mental and/or the emotions/feelings and/or the physical/body portions and/or the sexual acceptance regarding adult consenting behaviours in comparison and/or the spiritual aspects regarding the metaphorical views as well as figurative views as well as literal views thereof?


What would be ways to change in your own aspects as to the situations which would be considered as worse in truth to what my dead-ex-husband would actually have viewed as worse in comparison to what your opinions of ideas may have been, compared to what would be the ways which would be considered as worse to me and why? If you are that into psychology when you have not worked on yourself first which would be considered horrific to him realistically as he knew if he had worked on himself before ever causing such situations when he was in confession, what would the assistance to such then be for such a situation? Would that mean each and every aspect which once was regarding thought processes be needing to relook at and review, or would such actualities have already been seen and known? How, and in which ways in truth without needing any further explanations from me in writing or of any type of explanations? Would it be the levels of explanations would then mean I may not have acknowledged to the levels of which I know and/or understood and/or comprehended at such times though at a minimum, did I give enough information from the starting point of such situations which knowing in person and/or through social media portions which could have always been there though the choices to look at such were as to which levels and why?


I know the portions regarding who I have called Zippy has been apparently a bit of a situation regarding other portions regarding technological situations, which that particular aspect of such was discussed though not discussed to which since such has always been helpful as best as possible in such situations to which I had outlined regarding FSL only officially; it has been a situation to which the blue identification card as well as the book of such which I was able to read through as well as read the pencil notations which were erased by me because of the putting online portion and as I was shown to do for all books as Daniel had told me was important for those who purchase high dollar books, those loose leaf papers as well as those pictures which I memorized just as I had other situations regarding other portions prior to when I was a child growing up in New Jersey as taught; the realities of such portions which some might know of are more than what some may have ever thought and such just as with other aspects regarding the Armed Forces of the United States of America, mean exactly as such regarding such clearance levels for multiple reasons. I suppose I can joke about the name of the boat I went to go to for a SCUBA Dive trip back in August of 2009 to which only such an approved individual would ever be allowed to enter the depths of such levels, regarding several other portions of such a distinctive background. Which then again my biological mother's brother was in the United States of America's Air Force branch to which Grandpa Gavett had quite a bit more in other regards than was ever allowed to be officially known on such a postcard as to those who would know of such reasons for such an aspect of such a requirement at such times for National Security reasons as per what I was told by Grandpa Gavett one afternoon when in New York state, after looking through various typewriter paperwork he had worked on with his signature. While looking through such paperwork, I could absolutely see the reasons why such was as such for Leonard Gavett's Basic Training card among several other reasons as to why such was not allowed to be known, as such portions of information are actually required to have such clearance levels to which any such impeding of such progress for other portions, can be considered in different aspects depending as to which levels are gone to regarding such measures.


Realistically some who are not cleared for others to have a part of and those who know of such and actually understand such reasons with some comprehension possibilities, no matter what they might think they have an idea of as per other situations regarding more aspects in my combined and verifiable overall would be able to prove other such reasons and aspects as to why I have been able to achieve such portions and why such pertinence regarding various importances as to specifics regarding time not being wasted regarding any such delays only proves additional portions to which the security alerts regarding the times for movement are not the way some think such should be who have not earned such a combination of the background with the assigned MOS type as well as the etcetera; which if such was a concern regarding my not having graduated Basic Training, I refer you to yesterday's posting regarding such training aspects to which if verified regarding all other portions to which is of just as much importances of; I suppose hypothetically if actually seen and known as of such levels of importance then the pondering as to why the length of time to get such simple portions squared away correctly in the proper timing regarding what is sensitive for some time now as per other portions. How much would my Grandpa Gavett look at such situations for those who knew him and/or knew of him and/or knew/know of his particular works look at the length of time for certain contact portions as well as movement situations, regarding such a level as he had been when he was alive regarding to how his favorite Granddaughter and only female he personally trained as well as others' he knew assistances thereof view such portions regarding the length of?


I know the answer to that particular portion, though so do plenty of others who would know of how such would be viewed by my Grandpa Gavett. I kept my promises as it is known however the one promise I mainly remember from my Grandpa Gavett regarding such a wall which would put stars into my eyes when looking at the wall I would want and feel the need to hug as per his description, that promise I know I have not had been able for such aspects regarding such a location as he said I would feel what I felt in certain locations he had taken me to go to for certain situations as he had seen before from me in different circumstances. I can joke having been living in New Jersey at the time as well as walking around the tristate area within different times as to the levels of not wanting to be introduced in such a way to see stars in my eyes that way, he chuckled softly while inhaling through his oxygen nose assistance as to how my opinions got him to smile; though promised me it would not be in that way, when such a time would be for such a favorite location I suppose as per whatever group or organization or agency was being referred to regarding his personal involvement in the early 1920s-1930s for such a group forming the specifics of. I know I saw some paperwork he had typed up regarding the group as he pointed such out as per the different ones he had assisted with as per what typewriters were used at such times for those particular formations, though admittedly that was before my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury and which papers belonged with which groups/organizations/agencies specifically are the portions of other memory issues in comparison to going and doing for such experiences from other aspects thereof.




留言


Remember, since I was either six or seven years old I have been giving warnings as to the best of my ability as to the visions I had which began when I was in second grade of Elementary school.  The first warning I gave officially as to my nightmare vision compared to my dream vision was in the year of 1988 or 1989, compared to the online writings and my books as well as my journal blog entries year timeline for the information.


If anyone is upset please direct your upset towards those who had made the choices to constantly needlessly block my warnings and/or try to explain otherwise as to their trying to curb their responsibilities, in comparison to the responsible and respectful choices as best as I could possibly do so as a child starting as to such information at the age of when I was six in 1988 or seven years old in 1989.


I made every attempt to inform as best as I possibly could, though hopefully the clarifications throughout my various books and writings as well as journal blog entries compared to the amount of people in multiple areas which I had spoken with about in person from the years of 1988 or 1989 through to 2012 more continuously before 2013. 


In the year of 2019 is when I began reviewing such details and onward through the years since 2019 more officially, however I made the attempts to give the warnings and what others' choices have been as to whatever proof thereof to who you should be speaking with as to what they told you in comparison as to the upset and anger with in comparison.


How many assistances I have made attempt towards betterment as to the clarifications from the year of 1988 or 1989 onward did it truly have to take for each to genuinely pay attention, as I have been making the best attempts to assist for the best possibilities how?

REMEMBER:

After the head injury caused a coma while I learned how to deal with the headaches, migraines, cognitive disorders, memory problems, and other medical conditions I went from College Algebra with Trigonometry & Calculus down to 2nd grade math.  Here is how logic works for someone like me::

~  It took awhile for the doctor's recommendation to use sticky notes, to help remember.

~  It took several months to realize sticky notes moved, let alone to remember to speak with the doctor.

~  After I finally remembered to ask the doctor about the note problem, notebooks were recommended.

~  When I could remember to pick up a notebook, it took a long time to learn similar to sticky notes, notebooks are not always where they were placed.

~  After I was able to organize the notebooks over several months I still had not learned notebooks are not always readily available, at the necessary time.

~  When I remembered to speak with the doctor about the notebook problem the doctor had few other suggestions, to assist memories better.

~  After several events and adding up sticky note and notebook location problems, I realized my skin goes everywhere I do.

~  Wanting my tattoos to only be for me and not for public consumption I started the ink on my legs, able to hide easier.

~  It would not be until many tattoos and several years later I would realize my memory problems were usually not as bad when wearing shorts, capri pants, or a skirt.

~  Between 3-5 years after my first tattoo I had the first tattoo completed on my arms, and my memory has slowly progressed towards an easier memory jolt.

 

 

When I say "it should not take a head injury to figure this out" it is partially in humor from personal experiences, towards understanding.

 

If I can laugh at my mistakes after recognizing and dealing with them, so can you.

 

You have the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom I lack in order to put everything together to fix the problems seen with abilities I do not have. 

Utilize the information within the blog to find genuine repairs and instead of complaining of the "hurtful" commentary, prevent the issues from reoccurring.

Then again, it should not take a head injury to figure that one out.

Do make sure to link my journal blog entry articles to yours if you refer to my works for any of your research in the slightest, for proper credit. 

 

Thank you, in advance.

REMEMBER:

After the head injury caused a coma while I learned how to deal with the headaches, migraines, cognitive disorders, memory problems, and other medical conditions I went from College Algebra with Trigonometry & Calculus down to 2nd grade math.  Here is how logic works for someone like me::

~  It took awhile for the doctor's recommendation to use sticky notes, to help remember.

~  It took several months to realize sticky notes moved, let alone to remember to speak with the doctor.

~  After I finally remembered to ask the doctor about the note problem, notebooks were recommended.

~  When I could remember to pick up a notebook, it took a long time to learn similar to sticky notes, notebooks are not always where they were placed.

~  After I was able to organize the notebooks over several months I still had not learned notebooks are not always readily available, at the necessary time.

~  When I remembered to speak with the doctor about the notebook problem the doctor had few other suggestions, to assist memories better.

~  After several events and adding up sticky note and notebook location problems, I realized my skin goes everywhere I do.

~  Wanting my tattoos to only be for me and not for public consumption I started the ink on my legs, able to hide easier.

~  It would not be until many tattoos and several years later I would realize my memory problems were usually not as bad when wearing shorts, capri pants, or a skirt.

~  Between 3-5 years after my first tattoo I had the first tattoo completed on my arms, and my memory has slowly progressed towards an easier memory jolt.

 

 

When I say "it should not take a head injury to figure this out" it is partially in humor from personal experiences, towards understanding.

 

If I can laugh at my mistakes after recognizing and dealing with them, so can you.

 

You have the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom I lack in order to put everything together to fix the problems seen with abilities I do not have. 

Utilize the information within the blog to find genuine repairs and instead of complaining of the "hurtful" commentary, prevent the issues from reoccurring.

Then again, it should not take a head injury to figure that one out.

Do make sure to link my journal blog entry articles to yours if you refer to my works for any of your research in the slightest, for proper credit. 

 

Thank you, in advance.

Model Author Susan MeeLing

It should not take a head injury to figure this out because I thought you are supposed, to be smarter.

If there are those who find such interesting enough to research further to bring forward more information in reference to the forefront for more detailed information, as usual I request the courtesy of the same which I do in reference to how I refer to articles for reference points when writing my journal blog entries; for each one used for reference starting points, to research for clearer understanding from such knowledge.

 

That is common sense, good etiquette, and good karma; whilst lifting others upward, in positive ways.

Quotes which mean a lot to me:

"The ultimate measure of an individual is not where they stand in moments of comfort and convenience, but where they stand at the time of challenge and controversy."

"We must reject the idea that every time a law is broken society is guilty, rather than the law breaker.  Freedom is never-more than one generation away, from extinction.  We do not pass freedom on through our blood stream because freedom must be fought for, protected, and handed on for the next generation to do the same."

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.  Though best to be able to share in person with who matters, until that time occurs being able to see what is possible through such is a feat to notice.  One must be happy within oneself prior to being happy with another, though such can be enjoyed if living in one's own truth is as such. and then as to the capability to progress forward with another and/or others depending upon the situation(s) and individual(s)."  ~  A Quote From Me, Reverend Susan MeeLing also known as Lady Dori Belle

Me in Black Suit Prepared.JPG

If in anyway I am inaccurate about anything I have written here in this journal blog entry and/or any prior journal blog entry and/or future journal blog entry and/or factual books I wrote and/or videos I have done through my OFFICIAL YouTube Channel Reverend MeeLing, please only contact me through the contact form for the ability to clarify such details in public view fully to fix and repair to rectify the situation(s) as I do not respond to comments in my journal blogs because there thus far have not been any notifications sent to me about such from my website.


In such references if there are any inaccuracies then I will fix and repair such details on my website, as per such.


Though there are the aspects of which if you would like to speak with me in addition to possibilities of opportunities for me, the welcome aspects as to contacting me through my contact form.



If I have known you in person when in person in positive ways and/or ways which might need clarification(s) as to mature discussions, there has always been the welcome open door policy as to contacting me through my contact form if you were not given my new phone number though such is online regarding my website more recently published online as to my Website Business Phone Line: (360)-713-4937.

Thus far there has been only one who has known the contact form area to speak with me on a phone line was simple and capable to do so through, in truth.

Amazon Author Pages: 

amazon.com/author/susanmeeling

Twitter: 

@RevSusanMeeLing

@MeelingSusan

Instagram:

@lady_dori_belle

@wwwsusanmeelingcom

Facebook: 

facebook.com/L.D.Belle

                     facebook.com/LadyDoriBelle

Fetlife:

https://fetlife.com/users/484330

YouTube:

Reverend MeeLing

The Ornery PSA

Amazon Author Pages: 

amazon.com/author/susanmeeling

Twitter: 

@RevSusanMeeLing

@MeelingSusan

Instagram:

@wwwsusanmeelingcom

Facebook: 

facebook.com/L.D.Belle

                   https://www.facebook.com/FindingASilverLiningSML

 

https://www.facebook.com/LadyDoriBelle/

 

https://www.facebook.com/ReverendSusanMeeLing/ 

Fetlife as Lady Liberty Belle:

https://fetlife.com/users/484330

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel!

Reverend MeeLing

The Ornery PSA

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMzYhG_sQtZJul4nMbpatyw

bottom of page