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Apparently just another week, with a little math. Anybody else?
After this week which I stopped by the San Antonio #FBI office to drop off a few books to give to the agents to assist with my Medal of Honor Art Project and the associations which hypothetically caused problems for the various states and people thereof, today I contacted the #Vatican as I also wrote for such to be seen in others’ eyes to understand and comprehend some of the magnitude of which certain aspects have occurred in other aspects. While the Diocese explained what has been done is over in reference to my dead-ex-husband and his family who have chosen his path instead of the better aspects of mine, I decided to write a journal blog entry in a different subject matter in which is bittersweet. The aspects of which those who know who is referenced, know who is referenced.
Though I could add certain points of others, this in specific are in references of the afterwards of. Ironically after the death of my ex-husband and the death of his father in August of 2008, would be around when I was single for quite some time before my first relationship thereafter. #JCPenney Portrait Studio would be a good reference for such pictures, especially in regard of my particular patterns of behavior. The first pictures of my family and I were in the end portion of October or the beginning of November, in the year of 2008. My son, my daughter, and I are in our first family Christmas images as a family, for that time and thus I thought an idea for this particular journal blog entry would be interesting to begin with the relationships of which I had thereafter. Obviously as I have stated before if law enforcement needs to speak with me or interview me about anything, they know what I look like and where I am. I do not cammo, especially in the state of Texas.
Though to this point ironically since August of 2018, I have been single and without a steady relationship in a similar manner as described below. Thus as self-aware as I am, I can see the good and the bad points in a retrospective fashion of which I can self-assess myself as well as what relationships I had been involved in. Also just because of writing of such relationships, does not mean I had sex or any type of sexual relations with each of the people listed from the year of 2009 through to the year of 2020. I wrote earlier of the aspects which I had not known about the aspects of internet stuff until more recently learning of in reference to others causing harm because of my Medal of Honor Art Project which I had not a single thought anyone would think to cause my Medal of Honor Art Project harm despite the threats I had received online through messages, and thus this particular writing is in reference to the relationships I had after getting online and after having dealt with the problems associated with who is my dead-ex-husband.
Since I had started anew with certain regards of life for the first time on my own in ways of which were completely new essentially all over again, this particular journal blog entry is regarding those relationships. I now know each person I had ever been involved with had been on some form of social media before I had an email address most likely, or at minimum played video games or computer games with others through a computer or video game. I was not allowed such on the computer game aspect because of the computer at the house when I was growing up in New Jersey, and the video game system I was able to play on was not one which allowed anyone to play the game with who was not also in the room with the game system while with me there. Thus, my experiences were far more limited in ways which if others had hypothetically been stalking me back then without anyone’s knowledge until later; I suppose in some ways such has been brought to light now.
For example there was a male who did not accept “No” for an answer each time at Tae Kwando classes and the Sensei had been so aggravated when I would ignore the male name Rob Castle but Rob Castle would continue bothering me. The problems with Rob Castle had gotten to extreme while at classes, Sensei Bob had to separate us and keep us apart during the classes. One day after I had earned my Green Belt which was less than one month after Rob Castle had earned his Green Belt even though Rob Castle had been in the classes for over a year by the time I had started my classes, I looked at Sensei Bob and said “Now, I can put him in his place” which Sensei Bob said “No Susan, as long as I am teaching the class, you are not allowed to Spar Rob.” I admit I did try to convince Sensei Bob otherwise, but Sensei Bob kept saying “I am not going to let you spar Rob Castle, as long as I am teaching the class.”
One day Sensei Bob was not in class, and there was a substitute teacher. After the warmup the substitute put everyone in pairs which because Rob Castle was a Green Belt with a black strip at the time and I was a Green Belt, we were considered in the same ranking area technically. I grinned from ear to ear when the substitute paired that sparring match as I knew I was not breaking the rules because Sensei Bob said when he was teaching class I could not spar Rob Castle; he did not say if anyone was teaching the class. Thus in 1996 or 1997 I was able to spar Rob Castle and the choice that was made by Rob Castle was when he said “Hit me, I’ll give you a free shot. Come on, little girl. I know you can’t hit hard” which the class watched him stand with his legs and arms open and spread wide as I said “No, you need to put up your fists and spar.” He remained standing with his legs and arms open egging me on as the rest of the class did not spar but kept their stances, as I told him “Be a man, and come one.” The substitute was confused as the rest of the class was not sparring, but watching as they all knew; and he did not know, what he had set up.
I tried to give Rob Castle a chance by telling him to get his stance and he said “I am in my stance, because I’m fighting you. I’m wide open, come on and hit me anywhere. You’re a girl and you’re weak, so come on” as I said “I think, you are underestimating me.” When he continued to urge me to hit him anywhere at all as since those who know Tae Kwando style of fighting has to do with more legwork than punches; I kicked one single swift kick upward between his legs and Rob Castle went upward to the drop to the floor, after pieces of his cup had fallen to the mat. The Sensei ran to Rob Castle to help him stand up and then saw the pieces of the cup shattered on the ground, as he started gagging. I stood where I was quite proud of myself, as the rest of my classmates took a few steps backwards. Later the following week Sensei Bob called me into his office as soon as he saw me walk in.
He put his hands on his hips asking me, “What, did I tell you?” I asked, “What do you mean, Sensei Bob?” He rolled his eyes and said, “I told you as long as I was teaching the class, you were not allowed to spar Rob Castle.” I said, “Sensei Bob, you were not teaching the class. It’s not my fault the substitute teacher paired us up together not knowing your rules for your class.” He put his face in his hands saying, “Oh, my God. I told you as long as you were in my class when I was teaching, you were not allowed to spar Rob,” I said, “Did you want me to be disrespectful to the substitute teacher and not listen to what the substitute teacher said, for me to do?” Sensei Bob kept his face in his hands shaking his head saying, “Oh, my God. You were supposed to know better.” I said, “Sensei Bob, did you know how many times I waited for Rob Castle to fight fairly?” He looked at me and said, “Susan, that is beside the point.” I said, “No, Sensei Bob. Rob Castle chose not to leave me along, Rob Castle chose to open himself up for any shot, Rob Castle told me to hit him anywhere, Rob Castle told me he knew but realistically thought I only could hit like a girl, and Rob Castle thought I was not strong. It is not my fault he did not know any better so while I did break his cup, it is not my fault he opened himself up to the shot nor is it my fault his cup was broken technically.” Sensei Bob said, “Susan, you did not have to hit him so hard.” I asked, “Sensei Bob, do you think if I only tapped him that he would leave me alone? Or do you think if I gave him one third of my strength for a kick, it would teach him a lesson?” Sensei Bob looked through his fingers asking me, “Did you just say, you only hit him with one third of your strength?” I said, “Yes, why?” Sensei Bob said, “Okay, I will clarify this. You are not allowed to ever spar Rob Castle again.” I said, “Okay Sensei Bob, but you should probably tell Rob Castle to leave me alone then.” So before I begin I am going to state if Rob Castle from Manalapan New Jersey still could not accept he opened himself up for the shot and was warned repeatedly to not do so, but then had his cup broken because of his arrogance; it is not my fault I broke his cup, but it would be his fault if he thought I was not stronger.
Thus with the technology aspects, I will write of the relationships after the death my of ex-husband as there were very few relationships I had before my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury. However maybe at this point even though I had been to other places beforehand I should write, “Thanks Rob, for a one on one introduction to how much I can and could enjoy doing CBT to others. The sound of your cries, were like music to my ears.” However if someone such as Rob Castle continued on because of a tempter tantrum of not accepting no as an answer, I guesstimate there are quite a few individuals who might want some alone time with that ‘person’.
In reference to my first relationship which was not a very long one admittedly, had been someone who I met through #SCUBA Diving. That particular individual and I as I thought, while having started in a different manner than what I was accustomed to for dating and getting to know someone did occur as it had. Though I had fallen quickly for that particular person as I do tend to be completely open and honest in all that I do and am a part of without hesitation as I do not believe in half-a**ing anything; I had thought things had moved along far better than what I had experienced before. Maybe that was a downfall for myself as I have been told many times I ‘do not have a filter’; which in turn means I do not filter my feelings nor my connections. They are either there in a good way, or they are not at all and attempting to force such ends in a bad way. At least, that is the way I assess the situations, in the current moment.
As that particular relationship began that person and I had actually begun spending quite a bit of time together, despite the differing schedules. That person and I seemed to click in a manner of which I had not experienced before then and thus in many ways, I thought much higher of such as relationship in comparison to those which I had experienced before. Though I had begun some modeling a few months before then, I also had not hidden that from that person and even showed that person a few things I had been working on in reference to staying in shape for some of what I was preparing myself for. Though what I had shown that person inevitably meant I broke a metal steel rod which was over an inch and a half thick and changed the shape into a perfect “c”, I did not expect the strength levels to do such so easily.
For a couple of months everything seemingly went along swimmingly (pun intended), however when I had left for the first and only family vacation because of the events which occurred later; the relationship seemed to tumble downwards and spiral out quickly. The lack of communication while I was in the traveling aspects as well as while in the state of Georgia had been minimal to which I thought something was odd, but had no idea what to think. I was told by my ex-sister-in-law Mary Evongelina (Nichols) Osteen to think one way, while I felt another. Her husband David had been more understanding of the explanations I gave him, though admittedly I did not want to allow myself to be so “girly” about the person; at least in front of another person, as I felt though it seemed a bit overly dramatic for a few months of dating.
Also I was nervous as I had never gone SCUBA Diving outside of the group I had known in the #Texas area, and the nervousness I was seeking to calm through talking with that person was unable to occur because of the lack of communication. Thus my nerves kept heightening, and my worry continued to sky rocket in ways which I started feeling even more uncomfortable. A portion of my thoughts were that person was with someone else, and that had been reiterated when my ex-sister-in-law had mentioned certain attributes she knew of how #motorcyclists to be; despite my descriptions of that person seeming much different than what she was describing. Technically, both of my ex-sisters-in-law by that point in time. When text messages started flooding my cellphone and the messages were far less than cordial, the attributes of which was said seemed to ring out what my ex-sisters-in-law were telling me of such a person both literally and figuratively. I had not wanted to believe such was true of the person, and then the messages started proving otherwise. The first message did not come through until several days after I had left the state of Texas to be in #Georgia, and with that person knowing I was driving from Texas through #Louisiana, #Mississippi, #Alabama, to Georgia as I followed the GPS in the cellphone; it seemed the time and distance did not matter much to that person.
When I did receive the first message I had been so excited knowing the ringtone I had set up for that, only to be heartbroken and disappointed of how I was apparently ‘annoying’ through letting the person know as I had stopped along the way. I was told that had been why I had not received any responses, because of the nuisances from the messages I sent to check in and let that person know where I was when traveling across state lines in the south. Not in a negative manner in writing of such however my haircut and my hair color, are not the most normal thing for people below the #Mason-#Dixon line to see with the exception of what was on the news. My son looked more Asian than I with the mix of Hispanic of his father, my daughter looked more Hispanic in certain ways than her father and only had a few attributes of what I look like, and my niece very much looked nothing like me because of being my niece; thus the combination when driving across the state lines in the areas below the Mason-Dixon line, I needed to keep on guard to keep everyone safe while not offending anyone when we were passing through to get to Georgia. Though with that first message, the anger which seemed to come across had been a bit of a shock to me. Instantly I felt less than, in comparison to when leaving to that person.
The rest of the time in Georgia, I heard nothing from that person at all. It was not until getting into the state of Florida a week later, when I spoke with that person again. There it seemed though I could hear the aggravation which that person was bothered with my contact through the phone, and there were only a few text messages afterwards. I did not speak with that person again until after returning to the state of Texas and though I was so excited to see that person again, it went quickly. We had a night which we spent together briefly before I cooked dinner, and invited that person over to my house to talk and catch up with one another. I cooked a different version of food as usually when I cooked Angel Hair pasta I made a seafood alfredo sauce, but because of that person stating of the choice not to eat seafood; I made a variation with chicken instead. After my son and daughter were tucked into bed for the night was when that person came over, and we ate at the dining room table.
My daughter knew I was having someone over and she was interested in seeing who had my attention as she knew, I was not the type of mom who invited just anyone over to my house. She knew if I invited someone over, that meant one of two things. One, I truly trusted the person as a friend and that meant she could view the same or two, I was on a date and that meant she wanted to know who I was interested in a relationship with. She snuck out of her room and hid in the hallway across from where the dining room table was and the person who I had been dating leaned closer to me saying “We, have a visitor.” I looked up to see her using her brother’s binoculars and peeking to zoom in to see what the person I was dating and I snuck around the side of the dining room table to surprise her, and then take her back to her bedroom. I re-tucked her into bed to read her another quick story, before returning to the dining room table.
When returning to the dining room table was when that person asked me “How did your Dives go in #Florida?”
I told that person about the #BocaRaton Florida #SCUBADive before telling that person about what occurred at the USS/USNS Vandenberg, of which that would be when food was spat out into the bowl as I looked to check if the person was okay. I explained the rest of what occurred after discussing the Vandenberg SCUBA Dive including everything from the beginning to the end of the second SCUBA Dive, after the surface interval. We went to play pool and before the last moments when I saw that person for a bit of time, I do not know what it was that I said which angered the person; but that person left my house. Months later I received a phone call which we met at a #BBQ place with picnic tables and before I was able to ask the individual many questions I was told “You move on fast” because I said one thing, though did not get to finish the explanation before that person got onto their motorcycle to leave.
Though in April of 2018 I did see that person for a few days as well as a little bit after returning to the state of Texas in July of 2019, I have not seen that individual since.
Albeit about a month and a half after the time of the dinner at my house I decided to try online dating to see if that was worth my time, to attempt such. I met with a person who was from Louisiana who was living at the Professor or Mentor’s house with the daughter from the separation from the spouse, which I had allowed the daughter Hailey to stay in my house when the situation allowed. My daughter wanted to be closer to where my room was, thus instead of having Hailey in that lavender room; my daughter wanted the lavender room. Hailey had picked a blue color for the room and since the bathroom was already remodeled between my son and daughter’s room from the initial move in; I felt comfortable enough to allow that. Though the male who attended #LSU for the degree he said he had, the aspects of helping did not last long at all. The male returned to his separated spouse and I did not see wither one again after that, of my awareness. There was not any chemistry between that male and I, as I was far more concerned about Hailey than I had ever been about that male. At the month and a half point would be when the first one had wanted to meet, and then would also be the time that male did not respond beyond stating he and his separated spouse had reunited for Hailey’s sake.
The only other person I had met from the online dating service who had been someone I was quite intrigued with, however the few dates were shortly before #Thanksgiving and though I had enjoyed our time with one another; that individual literally disappeared as I had dropped off a #PumpkinPie I had made just before Thanksgiving to the apartment, and then I never heard from the person again. I do remember on one date there was a walk taken around a fountain after I had told that individual “I know you need to have your back against the wall”; which only afterwards had I been informed of prior military service in The #UnitedStatesofAmerica’s #ArmedForces #Navy Branch. We had discussed of the stationing in #Hawaii of which I told that individual of a SCUBA Diver I knew who was stationed at the island where the Arizona is located to monitor the exterior of the ship to ensure the safety of, and I was invited to SCUBA Diver with if I could ever get out to that area. There had been one date where there was some fun teased at my expense because of my confusion of not being seen in my #VW convertible #Beetle of which I was shown a path to drive around, which I was pointed out a similar model of the VW Beetle.
When that happened I said, “That’s a hard top, I have a convertible. There is a difference of style, and can you see my hair?”
I was given an excuse as to the difference, but I did not accept such as acceptable; as my haircut and my hair color are and were quite noticeable in the state of Texas in a convertible especially. I do remember the black and white picture the individual had used an exacto knife to create by hand a 3D effect of an older railroad train on the train tracks, as well as the 3D work completed for certain buildings in the background which was framed and hung on a wall leading to the living room area in a golden color with a bit of dupauge flecks in the framework. However, after delivering the pie there had not been another time we spoke in person that I know of.
FOURTH through SIXTH ONEs:
I had seen an individual several times when getting my cars serviced at one particular #NTB in #Carrollton Texas, which that person and I clicked well before ever going on a date. Each time I had gone to the location to take care of whichever car needed to be squared away that person and I would inevitably talk for the entire time, my car was being taken care of. It was not until after we had begun dating when the information of the tactics which apparently was flirting had been explained, which that person laughed quite a bit at my lack of understanding in which the way of the world working in the era. I was informed the person was going to join The United States of America’s Armed Forces Army branch and I told that person of how proud I was, for the choice made. We discussed different points of Basic Training by that point in time as well as the knowledge of my SCUBA Diving was well known by that individual, as I had taken my cars there to be serviced since before SCUBA Diving. I had found it amusing each time I took the vehicles in for maintenance of that individual asking me several questions about my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury, and then discussing his religious and spiritual background.
I told that individual “It is good you are religious, though I do not know what a Cowboy Church is. Do you mean, the football team?” That individual chuckled and laughed, explaining the difference of and between.
On our first date I had invited that individual to a wedding a set of friends of mine were having at a dance club called “#TheChurch” which that person explained the knowledge of the location, as having grown up in the #Plano Texas area. I had introduced the person to my biological parents and my biological sister shortly after a few weeks of dating just before #Christmas, and not one of my biological family members approved of the relationship. I kept the opinions I was told at bay, since they were inconsequential to the way I felt about that person. I had shown the individual my modeling that I had been doing up to that point, which that person had created their own #fetlife account. After a few months we had posted on #facebook of our relationship status and then the ex-girlfriend of the person had contacted via phone call when at the person’s apartment of the James Avery earrings which were forgotten about.
I laughed when I was shown the pewter earrings explaining, “I have seen more expensive jewelry from #Claire’s than this, pair.”
As a side note of comparison while Claire’s has made much better jewelry since the time of that female Leslie’s complaint about her so-called #JamesAvery earrings; the earrings were not stamped and the earrings were made of pewter which I am fairly certain James Avery does not work with pewter and only works with sterling silver and above. Also as a brand name designer I guesstimate even back in 2010, James Avery jewelry had a signature stamp to prove such validity. I was raised by a man (my biological father) who went to and graduated from the #School of #Bulova and was registered to work on those watches and clocks as well as Rolex, Movado, the higher and highest ends of Seiko, among other clocks and watches; while also had graduated from the Gemology School of (I think California). Growing up being able to see jewelry of that nature every day as a child as well as the jewelry he created, I knew the earring Leslie claimed were James Avery earrings; were not even close to cheap knockoffs, as even the knockoffs attempt to have a signature. As another point of knowing and seeing the shinnies when I went SCUBA Diving in the area where I landed as well as what was brought to me from the Mer-People in the area as I was there, I know for a fact what ‘jewelry’ I was shown would be the equivalent of such: #Leslie’s earrings would be the equivalent of an elementary schooler’s jewelry making class to what I have seen and held in my own hands of as I described. There is no comparison of what Leslie claimed was James Avery, in the slightest as her earrings were not even good enough to be sold in a craft store to attempt to be made into something worthwhile. People at the store Tiffany’s and Bailey Banks and Biddle would very much have looked at what she claimed were James Avery earrings, and known everything I wrote to be 100% accurate.
However after that individual I was then engaged to had said he wanted to give her back her earrings and later he and I had continued spending time together before he left for Basic Training, my biological family did not approve whatsoever. My biological parents despised how happy he had kept me and my biological sister despised the fact he was a ‘smooth talker’, whereas I felt he was my one. As vehemently as I have defended certain people I have known over the years, would be an example of how much I had defended his and my relationship; despite what he may have been told, or heard from others. I had taken several pictures we had taken together and made an album for him, and less than a week later a situation happened which had been after receiving online threats to his safety and I have written about such before. Later after having to make a choice, I had needed to look at various aspects of what would be the best and safest for everyone because of what occurred when the SCUBA Diver incident occurred which I had written of before.
Shortly before what happened and occurred at the Fort Worth Zoo to my daughter as I have written about and sent the documents to many people throughout as well as writing of such online on Facebook and in the parenting area of Fetlife, I had met someone who later had become a brief relationship and thus being the fifth one. Looking back now I realize after what occurred in reference to the SCUBA Diver which had been after the threats began and after I had defended the fourth one, I met the fifth one who later wanted to introduce another male who became the sixth one between the time of dating but when the relationship ended and I returned that fifth one to Dallas; shortly after was when the fourth one returned into my life after a few months of when I had moved from Carrollton to Cedar Park. This fourth one showed up at my front door and it felt though a dream come true all in one small second, but his hand was hurt and I fixed what I could to remove the infection from the skin and the bones of his hands to assist the healing for him. I knew he was unable to tell how bad the infection was though I guesstimate if he were to think about the questions I asked him when I was removing the bandages and cleaning out the wound the first time, he might remember a few words I said in specific which would in this time let him know how close to danger his hand was in as well as the rest of his body. Though I could feel at the time as I was excited to see him, the same was for him seeing me and thus at that time, he probably had not put the two together; until much later, of which the damages I had removed to keep him safe. I had not told him of what I was doing though I had told him, but not necessarily in a set of wordings at the exact second he would have understood until looking back.
As he had been healing from the injury to his hand, the aspects which seemed to be better between he and I had seemingly been a bit more than what I could sense being of reality. As time went onward and the Christmas which I had given my biological parents a check to fix their #HVAC system and my biological mother complained about having to pay taxes while my biological sister refused to be happy about the check for her husband’s security for the Police gear, though my biological mother had her comments about the male and I getting back together. They left shortly thereafter receiving the gift which my biological father told both my biological sister and biological mother “Don’t kick a gift hose in the mouth” while that male stood there watching how angry they were at me for trying to help, and then later on the relationship ended after a slew of text messages which I had received about how mad he was at me as well as how angry he was of my concern. I had asked simply how his mom was doing and instead of anything I had hoped for in a response, there was silence.
Shortly afterwards the male I had seen in between the first and the second time our relationship had been, the fifth male had tried to get who became the sixth one involved with the relationship continued to follow me around the event until I conceded the fourth one I had been waiting for was not going to show up to the event. It took me a long time before accepting certain aspects but then the sixth one started visiting me in Cedar Park, several months before my daughter’s need to be in an Arkansas hospital. My son and I decided the #DFW area would be a compromise and though I had originally sold my house in #Carrollton to move to #CedarPark to reduce the time of traveling back and forth in one day as it was 4 hours each way, the sixth male told me the travel distance after speaking with my son #Irving would not take as long to get to #LittleRock. After moving, I learned it was a 6 hour drive each way; but I did everything I could for both of my children.
However when the sixth male had called me a name in front of my son because I picked up the wrong #pizza according to him and then the following day pointed a loaded shotgun in my face after I told him “You look stupidly retarded doing a rifle drill with a shotgun, I mean, it is called a rifle drill. It doesn’t take a head injury to figure out its called a rifle drill, for a reason. It isn’t called a shotgun drill, because it’s a rifle drill.”
The sixth male was mad at me because he said ‘You have to rub in my face I’m too old to get into the Army, don’t you?’ as he pointed the shotgun I had not known was in the apartment in #Irving which I would not have allowed had I known, because of what was going on with my children at the time. I do support the #SecondAmendment but I also knew what was going on at the time, and because of him not telling me the truth, because he pointed a loaded shotgun in my face as I made him show me whether it was loaded or not and saw it was, and because of what he called me in front of my son; I packed and moved. That relationship, was completely over.
I had dated a married couple after moving back to #SanAntonio, and the end of which came after almost 2 months of dating because of being demanded to sleep with the husband when I was not comfortable yet. When I was told ‘You were supposed to have sex with me last night’ I told him “I am not some goat you can do with as you please”, which I ended the relationship as I was unwilling to risk the marriage between the husband and wife as I felt the two were on the brink of a divorce. I did not want to be the excuse given, and thus because neither would speak with me at the same time together; I ended the relationship.
Later I dated someone who I had met during the first SCUBA Diving class I had been in, and who I had been in a few other classes with for SCUBA Diving. He and I already had a quick connection in discussions about various topics during the classes and when we began dating, I knew he had already met my son and my daughter though it was not in the way of dating. Thus, I knew I needed to be extra careful in reference to because of how protective I had always been of my children. He and I talked on the phone for hours and when we were with one another, it almost seemed weirdly romantically magickal. Due to not being willing at the point to introduce as a boyfriend to my children and because of what was going on at the time with my daughter, my biological mother and my then roommate threatening to make an online dating profile for me infuriated me when neither would accept “No” for an answer. The two females spoke with one another in front of me telling me they would get together, in their wants to make a dating profile for me when I was not interested; and though I did not want to tell them I was in a relationship not because of being ashamed but because I did not want the discussions to occur by accident in front of my son, I did not think they would have gone against what I had said.
As that male and I had dated and spent time together there were a few times which the time though short, were extremely intense. I had a sense one day which I texted him and there was not any response which was not normal for him by that point, and I could not stay still no matter what I tried to do to preoccupy my thoughts. I could not calm down and I could not rest despite the pain levels, so I made arrangements for my son and got to Dallas from San Antonio in less than 2 hours. I knew I was speeding, but the sensation was similar to the semi-truck collision sensations and once I arrived at his apartment I started banging on the door; and I heard a slow movement inside of the apartment. I knocked harder and it seemed though I heard him crawling from the living room table, pushing himself off of the couch to stand up. The door opened and he collapsed into my arms. When I caught him and carried him into his apartment, I felt there was something wrong but he could not speak much and all I could do was get my energy going. I sped up his heartrate at a safe measure and warmed his skin, which he quickly came to consciousness as I worked on him. He woke up and was alert fairly quickly and when he was, he wrapped his arms around me.
We went onto the patio as I asked what happened, but he just remained seated on the floor looking up as I walked back and forth on the patio. Later we talked about a few things, mainly in reference to his spiritual background when he grew up within the religion he was raised. That was the first time I heard of the terminology for Angel Moroni’s Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints founded by Reverend Joseph Smith, but he had called them Mormons. I was surprised as to his thoughts of and he and I spoke at length before we later went to Missouri for a quick trip, and another time just before I received the messages through text of ‘this is over’ as the “nicer” portion of what was sent.
In my life before my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury and after there has only been 2 people I have run to hide in their arms despite having been in various situations by myself; one of which is a teenager years friend whom I hid in his jacket when I had been informed of certain situations with my biological family, and the other time would be with this person where I hid in his robe jacket after having to sign paperwork to begin the process for the legalities of my parental legal rights for my daughter. He listened as my biological mother yelled at me on the phone for according to her ‘being selfish for needing time to deal with giving legal parental rights up’ among other aspects. Admittedly I have not been the type of person who runs to be in someone’s arms unless the situations are so atrocious, I no longer know what to do to keep my emotions in check; to continue doing what needs to be done, for the betterment.
However the devastation which came when the week afterwards, the messages from him had been far more than I expected ever from anyone who heard what he had. I was floored and blown away, by what was sent via text messages. The closest I could think of in wording would be similar to what my biological sister and biological mother, had said to me for many years.
That particular individual and the way the aspects of had occurred were written of in reference to #CowboysDanceHall and the #StoneyLaRue concert, after the finalization of the paperwork process finished and the court proceedings were going to begin. I had done a google search for country music concerts in the area of #SanAntonio and as far as #SanMarcos Texas for a country music concert, but the only one I found online was for #StoneyLaRue; which I looked through 7 pages on google which that was the only one I found. I went to Cowboys to learn how to #TexasTwoStep as well as to learn the layout of the club so I knew where the exits were, the bathrooms were, and the smoking section was the night before the concert.
The night of the concert I was approached by a group of people who would not leave me alone after Kevin started telling me he knew who I was texting was not going to show up, when I informed him I was not texting anyone but was on the internet. Then he told me he got a new Galaxy phone before telling me he was not hitting on me, and then pointed to his wife who waved and mouthed the words ‘I’m sorry’. That male Kevin said he was in the #Army from #Louisiana, introduced his one friend as having been in the #Navy from #California, and the other one (my now ex-boyfriend) who was an Officer in the #AirForce; after Kevin asked if I ‘was an Army brat’ and was informed “No, I actually signed the dotted line myself.”
When Kevin asked me where I was from I said “New” and both the Navy male and the Air Force male took a step backwards, when I said “Jer” they took more steps backwards, and when I said “sey” their backs were against the chain link fence and the brick wall respectively to the directions from where they were at. Kevin took a step forward closer to me saying ‘I never met anyone from New Jersey before” as both those males put their faces in their hands, and the females giggled. As the evening continued and I tried to simply relax, Kevin would not leave me alone. At the point of the intermission when Stoney LaRue and his band took a break for the #DJ to play booty dancing music, I was annoyed until I went inside to dance; though admittedly I did not dance as I could, as I knew what I looked like in the club.
As I had already had several looks at me as well as what Kevin, his wife, and her friends were annoying me; I just did what I call as the white-boy-shuffle of stepping side to side. When the music stopped I went outside to the smoking section again, to get away from Kevin and those females but then Kevin was at the top of the stairs and yelled for my attention; however when he commented of my under-bust corset and claimed it was ‘being used to hold my fat rolls in’; then I took off my leather jacket to hand to a female near me, as I untied my corset as Kevin’s wife said “When she’s done with you, you better have a beer in each hand, and give it to me on your knees.” She hobbled up the stairs after she looked at me saying “Go ahead, and have fun” as she had a brace on one of her legs from an injury as the males with Kevin stood watching, as he kept running his mouth.
I ripped into him pointing out how I could see who actually wore the pants in his household, pointed out who wore the strap-on which he seemed accustomed to as I watched a big Bubba guy hump his head on the dance floor which he was not phased by, and several other points which Kevin had no responses for with the exception of his mouth dropping open wider and wider which then I said “You better be careful, a cock might fly in there” as the people in the area looked over at the situation and pointing at Kevin. Then as some San Antonio Police Officers walked over to where the Navy guy was I heard him tell the Police Officers of the situation and when he pointed to me towards the end of his description, he said “She’s from New Jersey” and the San Antonio Police Officers started moving in a sweep closer to where I was; ironically to save Kevin. However when Kevin saw the Police Officers coming behind me to flank the area Kevin yelled out ‘Hey, look! It’s the Po-Po. Look, get the bacon! I smell bacon!’ and I said “Why are you so stupid? Do you comprehend the situation you are in? What is wrong with you, talking like that to the Police?” and as I continued on and the Police (I guesstimate) realized I was defending them against Kevin and what he was yelling at them, they walked over to the bouncers to talk with them. As Kevin continued mouthing off I put him further into his place, and then he ran off metaphorically with his tail tucked between his legs (irony of how Drag Queens do their thing looking as amazing as they do) and he went inside presumably to do as his wife had demanded of him.
Then the Air Force male told me “Thank you, oh my God. I have seen him do that to so many women and you are the first person who ever said anything in response, to that. You just devoured his soul, in front of everyone.” I shrugged my shoulders and said while putting my corset back on, “He shouldn’t have been mean to the Police Officers, but he damn sure shouldn’t have talked smack about my corset” which as I smoked my cigarette as I asked “What did other females do?” He said “The most any of them dis was throw a drink in his face, but most of them walked away.” I asked “Are you telling me, his wife did not ever stop him from doing that?” He said, “You saw how she just waved and said she was sorry to you, so she has been okay with that for a while now.” I said, “That’s unacceptable.”
What was supposed to be my first and only one night stand turned into dating and then a relationship, and later when my now-ex-boyfriend said that at school Kevin was running his mouth about he supposedly put me into place; I was invited to a BBQ place to speak with Kevin. The majority of the class was going to be there and since he was telling many people incorrectly of what occurred, I showed up to the location. When I texted my now ex-boyfriend I was in the parking lot; he met me at my car, as I walked up to the patio. When Kevin saw me as I sat down next to him and the other people in the area were confused I asked Kevin “So what is this, that you put me into my place? Last I remembered, I put you into your place and ate your soul in front of the smoking section at Cowboys. What is it you want to say, happened? Please do, clarify.”
Kevin had nothing to say and only stuttered as the male across the table looked to my now ex-boyfriend asking what was going on, and was told; “That’s the one who he said, he did all that stuff to at Cowboys.” The male said “She doesn’t look like, what Kevin described.” I said, “Can you say, Kevin is a liar?” He nodded as Kevin stuttered more before I asked, “What was it you said you did to me? And let’s discuss in this conversation, what actually occurred. What did you say you did, and I will give my side of the story. These people can decide who was and is telling the truth, compared to what you claimed.” There was silence as he looked around as I scootched just a little bit closer on the bench asking “Are you going to tell me, what you told them? What is it you said, you did? I remember you would not leave me alone, I remember you repeatedly annoying me, I remember when your wife gave me permission I ripped into you after you called me fat and made negative comments about my corset, and I remember telling you I know who wears the pants and the strap-on in your household before I defended to Police Officers who were there to save you that you called bacon, Po-Po, and pigs. What is it that you told them, and that I need to correct.?” The male across the table laughing said, “I think you just clarified everything, in that statement about Kevin. I know all I need to know, now.”
I reached to Kevin’s basket and took a French fry, dipping it in the ketchup and eating it asking “What did you want to add?” He shook his head side to side saying nothing and I said “Good, I am glad this is clear and no longer a problem. You can grow the f*** up now, and stop lying. Do not, let my name ever leave your lips again. Do not ever lie about me again, or you will deal with the consequences of. Do you comprehend, the words I just stated?” He nodded, I stood up, shook a few people’s hands, and walked back to my car to leave.
Later in #Washington state I thought I had seen Kevin, though I was not sure; and I do not mean the same Kevin who was really nice from the #Scientology place in #Seattle, that is a different Kevin who unlike the one at Cowboys, was actually nice; which was after the end of the relationship with my now-ex-boyfriend and my Medal of Honor Art Project stuff. Also if Kevin decided he wanted to throw a temper tantrum because of my choice to do my Medal of Honor Art Project, why would such be considered as acceptable? If his wife did not stop him, I suppose there is a pattern of behavior there and how could any female support someone like that?
I had met a male at #Sapphire who we had spent a bit of time together and talked a bit before we had gotten together briefly, though discussed a few different things. I showed him my website as well as a few pictures I had taken when I was in #Spokane when getting one of the rubbings for my Medal of Honor Art Project, as I found an animal which morphed shapes and changed when I just stayed seated in my car. He and I spoke on and off over a few years before getting together in full briefly, though he reminded me of who I nicknamed “Hot CIA guy”. Not the most original name but the #CIA guy I saw on #FOXNews as I heard his voice and forced myself to look at the tv screen, yes; Hot CIA guy kind of like “Hot #Senator guy” and then “Cutie Patootie #Marine guy”; though “Cutie Patootie Marine guy” was rare to hear and see him on the screen after hearing his voice. I admit, that one definitely caught my attention though I did not catch his name and he was on so briefly by the time my ears picked his voice up he was usually off the screen. Not that such matters I suppose (not in a negative way), as when and where would I meet the “Cutie Patootie Marine guy”? That type of nickname is really not helpful in such when thinking about, as I would need to be able to give more details as there are more than one male Marine in The #UnitedStatesofAmerica’s #MarineCorps. Then again, it is no secret I have a thing for the Marine uniform; specifically the Dress Blues. Even my friend from high school in Crystal Lake heard me go on and on and on about the Marine Dress Blues, before I joined the United States of America’s Armed Forces Army branch. He would just shake his head, and sigh at me.
Prior to my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury I had been with a total of 2 males I can remember, then afterwards of 1 male in the Medical Hold Unit, who is my dead-ex-husband and 1 other ‘male’; however for all of the people who ever claimed I was a slut, I do not know how anyone could claim such truthfully. Adding those numbers together of 11 or 12 people in total since losing my virginity at the age of 16 years old and now I am going to be turning 38 years old biologically; I think those claims of me being a slut could hypothetically be considered as false. Not forgetting being born and raised in the state of New Jersey to leave when I was 15 years old; I guesstimate there are a few people from the area who could verify that might not be the most normal thing, especially with the largest amount of commuters from New Jersey in the tri-county area who commuted to New York City; while not forgetting of my involvement with the #BDSM, #LGBTQP, and #Swinger Lifestyles officially since 2004. If going off of the numbers of when after waking up from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury I have had sex willingly (-ish in 2 scenarios) with a whopping number of 8 or 9.
I do not know if that constitutes as actually being the definition of a slut, but if so; you caught me. Though at minimum even if I could be considered as a slut, at least I know I was ethical.
I have a guesstimation those who said such about me, could not look at themselves in the mirror and truthfully say they were ethical in their aspects of their connections. I could be wrong, but if there is anyone who has done such in name calling what is the saying?
“Ye who have no sin, cast the first stone.”
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