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The Ornery P.S.A.
a philosophical-ish


It should not take a head injury
*after personally sustaining a head injury & coma*
to figure this out...


After a Drill Sergeant threw Me into the metal part of the bunk when I was in Basic Training for the United States of America's Army branch at Fort Sill Oklahoma #FortSill #FortSillOK #FortSillOklahoma #OK #Oklahoma in the year of 2000 on Psalm Sunday, I have dealt with the situations as best as I have been capable to do so while taking care of the situations and asking for assistance as per the required explanations of the information to such facts first.  While making the attempts to get assistance for the aspects thereof as to the reality, the aspects of where and when as to the multiple attempts to ask for assistance for me.  As my journal blog for when I was ready to bring such as to my other works forward since as to the lengths of time as to where my modeling was as to the modeling page information, just as the other pages have the information as to such specifics, and just as this journal blog of mine is as to such facts.

If I had real friends (if as to having met in person face to face in person in real life as to the aspects of this particular reference such as from the state of Texas as to the state of Washington as to the years of 2000 through 2013 if I met within the state of Texas for such references), real (the areas of the tristate region as before the year of 2000) family, and real relationships in real life that recognized me as to the aspects of if as to the face to face in person who started in truth as I had started such in truth as to the after effects from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury, as well as the subarachnoid hemorrhage in the frontal lobe of my brain that took 8.5 years to dissipate; then I guesstimate there would be the easier factors as to being capable for me to speak with others in truth in person face to face in person and/or through online measures as to such factors I suppose.  Though would such as to the knowledge of the ways as to how they began such discussions with me as to would there be such a situation, for them to consider as to such if factors as to such discussions with me in truth?

As to some suggestions and commentary within "Finding A Silver Lining" one of several of my bo0ks I personally authored/wrote/compiled as I can only speak and write in truth as per such clarifications as to the reality as to the specifics of such discussions/writings/videos as per my Official You Tube where I have satirical commentary where I comment about the factors as to having dealt with others' opinions about their pop culture references of #NJ #NJstate #NewJersey #NewJerseystate New Jersey, though as to for the most part I have actually preferred to be asked with politeness if as to having read my books and/or seen my website as just the same in reference to the timeframes when I was modeling as to having respect as to what I consider as respect, referencing if as to such polite manners as to discussions if as to such having been noticed because of the factors in my opinion as to having real discussions as communication would be if my website was seen before the year of 2023 as I first began my website in 2015; as in my journal blog posts as to the reality of the years of 2010 through 2013, as to the aspects of introductions as to those timeframes when as to various factors as I did not take selfies as I was actually working with photographers as to my creations of my outfits as per the description on the link to my modeling page(s) as to the references regarding my journal blog updates in the years of 2019 through 2022 as the timeframe onward as to the year of 2023 as to the factors as to how such journal blog entries will be as to such factors as to the aspects of the various topic points.

Go read through the multiple journal blogs on my website after finishing scrolling to get to the journal blog area, now!

Share the links of my journal blog, too!

 I was born and raised in New Jersey and grew up going throughout the tristate northeast areas mainly, and as to how the reality of when the importance of the situations as to the aspects of reviewing as to such facts regarding the logistics for several factors as to the considerations; the years of 2019 through 2022 as to the review process as to the aspects of the timeframe, prior to the timeframe of the 20 year memorial of 11 September 2001 also known as 9/11 as well as before the 30 year memorial of February 1993, as to the northeast areas mostly known as to New York City #NYC #NewYork #NY #NYstate #NYU though also as to the #Pentagon Pentagon, as well as Pennsylvania #Pennstate #Pennsylvaniastate as to the reality of how many New Jersey-ians commute in either direction, depending upon what location for the commute. 

The factors though I have said at times, I re-re-re-re-re-re-grew up in the state of  #Texas #TX #Texasstate Texas as to such factors as to the timeframes, as well as all 26 of my SCUBA #SCUBA #SCUBADiving  Diving certifications I earned were through one school within the state of Texas as I also earned winning first place in a Texas Chili cookoff with more than 20 entries as well as my chili recipe as I am adamant about my recipes as to such aspects just as I am specific as to what it actually takes for me to cook in a BBQ as to the required preparations for when I have BBQed.   

I can sarcastically write, those who know of the Rules of the BBQ as to where I grew up as to the Rules of the BBQ as to such factors to the considerations of such preparations.  However that is to cooking food as to the differences of my journal blog entries, as to the factors as to proverbial aspects of food for thought as the difference of real food in real life as to the facts of the situations to such attention to the details as well as attention to the information.

Such facts as to the metaphors in some of such factors that only after reviewing such information as to the aspects of the fiction book series that were as to for My personal life as to such dreamland sorts of factors as to the differences of such hypotheticals, the references thereof as to such regards as to the logistical emotional with the real situations as per the names I was informed of at the timeframes referenced review as to My journal blog as to the situations overall.  

If as to my journal blog being found and read as to where what I consider as common sense, as to the aspects of my satirical saying   how it should not take a head injury to figure out. 

*(sometimes utilizing articles discussing facts)*
By:  (Reverend) Susan MeeLing
also known as

The One & Only

(YouTube)   Lady Dori Belle


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After the head injury caused a coma while I learned how to deal with the headaches, migraines, cognitive disorders, memory problems, and other medical conditions I went from College Algebra with Trigonometry & Calculus down to 2nd grade math.  Here is how logic works for someone like me::

~  It took awhile for the doctor's recommendation to use sticky notes, to help remember.

~  It took several months to realize sticky notes moved, let alone to remember to speak with the doctor.

~  After I finally remembered to ask the doctor about the note problem, notebooks were recommended.

~  When I could remember to pick up a notebook, it took a long time to learn similar to sticky notes, notebooks are not always where they were placed.

~  After I was able to organize the notebooks over several months I still had not learned notebooks are not always readily available, at the necessary time.

~  When I remembered to speak with the doctor about the notebook problem the doctor had few other suggestions, to assist memories better.

~  After several events and adding up sticky note and notebook location problems, I realized my skin goes everywhere I do.

~  Wanting my tattoos to only be for me and not for public consumption I started the ink on my legs, able to hide easier.

~  It would not be until many tattoos and several years later I would realize my memory problems were usually not as bad when wearing shorts, capri pants, or a skirt.

~  Between 3-5 years after my first tattoo I had the first tattoo completed on my arms, and my memory has slowly progressed towards an easier memory jolt.



When I say "it should not take a head injury to figure this out" it is partially in humor from personal experiences, towards understanding.


If I can laugh at my mistakes after recognizing and dealing with them, so can you.


You have the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom I lack in order to put everything together to fix the problems seen with abilities I do not have. 

Utilize the information within the blog to find genuine repairs and instead of complaining of the "hurtful" commentary, prevent the issues from reoccurring.

Then again, it should not take a head injury to figure that one out.

Do make sure to link my journal blog entry articles to yours if you refer to my works for any of your research in the slightest, for proper credit. 


Thank you, in advance.


After the head injury caused a coma while I learned how to deal with the headaches, migraines, cognitive disorders, memory problems, and other medical conditions I went from College Algebra with Trigonometry & Calculus down to 2nd grade math.  Here is how logic works for someone like me::

~  It took awhile for the doctor's recommendation to use sticky notes, to help remember.

~  It took several months to realize sticky notes moved, let alone to remember to speak with the doctor.

~  After I finally remembered to ask the doctor about the note problem, notebooks were recommended.

~  When I could remember to pick up a notebook, it took a long time to learn similar to sticky notes, notebooks are not always where they were placed.

~  After I was able to organize the notebooks over several months I still had not learned notebooks are not always readily available, at the necessary time.

~  When I remembered to speak with the doctor about the notebook problem the doctor had few other suggestions, to assist memories better.

~  After several events and adding up sticky note and notebook location problems, I realized my skin goes everywhere I do.

~  Wanting my tattoos to only be for me and not for public consumption I started the ink on my legs, able to hide easier.

~  It would not be until many tattoos and several years later I would realize my memory problems were usually not as bad when wearing shorts, capri pants, or a skirt.

~  Between 3-5 years after my first tattoo I had the first tattoo completed on my arms, and my memory has slowly progressed towards an easier memory jolt.



When I say "it should not take a head injury to figure this out" it is partially in humor from personal experiences, towards understanding.


If I can laugh at my mistakes after recognizing and dealing with them, so can you.


You have the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom I lack in order to put everything together to fix the problems seen with abilities I do not have. 

Utilize the information within the blog to find genuine repairs and instead of complaining of the "hurtful" commentary, prevent the issues from reoccurring.

Then again, it should not take a head injury to figure that one out.

Do make sure to link my journal blog entry articles to yours if you refer to my works for any of your research in the slightest, for proper credit. 


Thank you, in advance.

Remember, since I was either six or seven years old I have been giving warnings as to the best of my ability as to the visions I had which began when I was in second grade of Elementary school.  The first warning I gave officially as to my nightmare vision compared to my dream vision was in the year of 1988 or 1989, compared to the online writings and my books as well as my journal blog entries year timeline for the information.

If anyone is upset please direct your upset towards those who had made the choices to constantly needlessly block my warnings and/or try to explain otherwise as to their trying to curb their responsibilities, in comparison to the responsible and respectful choices as best as I could possibly do so as a child starting as to such information at the age of when I was six in 1988 or seven years old in 1989.

I made every attempt to inform as best as I possibly could, though hopefully the clarifications throughout my various books and writings as well as journal blog entries compared to the amount of people in multiple areas which I had spoken with about in person from the years of 1988 or 1989 through to 2012 more continuously before 2013. 

In the year of 2019 is when I began reviewing such details and onward through the years since 2019 more officially, however I made the attempts to give the warnings and what others' choices have been as to whatever proof thereof to who you should be speaking with as to what they told you in comparison as to the upset and anger with in comparison.

How many assistances I have made attempt towards betterment as to the clarifications from the year of 1988 or 1989 onward did it truly have to take for each to genuinely pay attention, as I have been making the best attempts to assist for the best possibilities how?

60th Day of 60 Days of Thanks Challenge

This past set of 60 days of thanks challenge has been quite a long path down twists and turns which as per The Road Not Taken By: Robert Frost a favorite author of mine with Shell Silverstein and a few others, I am thankful to have been able to take a road less traveled as per the ability to have the grave of the amount of time to go through portions of which I had gone into details of in reference to my two first books FSL without reviewing the books while referencing for the writing which includes in regards of the YouTube portions of my recorded channel videos as the ability to see the difference in writing in comparison to video format or in writing compared to speaking to/with another if in a discussion compared to a video; is able to be seen and noticed, as well as when in reference to the details per compared to snipping a video or editing a picture or sorts. Just for clarification, as to such because of the additional details and oddities of interconnections.

For the final day of my 60 Days of Thanks Challenge, I feel it seems befitting in a bit of a way with an artistic flare to be able to go to the level of the individuals who I first met after all the situations previously regarding the time when arriving in Vancouver Washington to which before I begin fully I must admit there will be smarta$$ comments and a few portions of a heavier amount of sarcasm and satire because of a few aspects which can be pointed out in different ways.

At Crystal Creek Apartment Complex upon entering the property as through the drive from the interstate highway seeing the leaves and branches of the trees move and sway along with the wind, as the grass blades danced along the sides of the road. The taller pine trees mixed with various shrubbery in specific locations among the properties of the houses and buildings had a scent from the sap of the pine which brought forward a freshness to life, as the windows were slightly downward from the brisker coldness of the air as the water from the river flowed landward while looking to pull towards the entrance to the Crystal Creek Apartments. My son #Letters4James and I were in my Silver Honda Civic and discussing portions of excitement to look towards beginning anew as the prior situations which occurred was a new starting point as well for us, as it also was for his sister my daughter #Letters4Lidia which though knowing he was about to become a teenager soon; I was still in the mindset of what was occurring and what had occurred from such situations regarding my daughter, and worried as to what best for could be as best as possible. While he was unaware of what levels my concern had been because of the way teenager minds are, I also was worried as to the situation at hand as per the levels of pain which were completely new to me. The driveway with the finely pruned landscaping had a welcoming feel as the lights of older times illuminated the pathway towards the hill area, slightly waving downward to move towards the fountain region with the three pillars of stone with a pond nearby to go towards the office. Seeing the Rhododendron plants and the Azaleas while looking towards the layout of the property as going through was a pleasant sight in many ways, as the breeze felt good upon my skin and yet a popping sound when I had turned the car into the parking spot.

As the time to sign the lease to be able to move in was prepared thankfully by Tracey and Christine at the office for a quicker portion to move in to be able to get my son into school quickly, the surprise to certain background discussions of who I am and my son as well as the male I met at Cowboys Dance Hall at the Stoney LaRue concert Jesse L. Hoover Jr to the paperwork for the apartment. After looking over a few things, the lease was signed to move in.

Upon looking through everything went well and seeing the calmness was what was needed especially up to such a point, as per the overall situations. The search for furniture began already and when completed, the sorting of such details was quickly taken care of as getting my son a bunk bed that had a desk underneath for him to be able to complete his schoolwork as I had thought such to be ideal for him. He was able to have his sleeping area as well as a work station for his work, and when time to get him a pet turtle which he and I discussed about and then it was named Myrtle as I told him about plants and some of what he might remember more positively in comparison to other portions as when in Texas he had been a passenger only and had not driven any vehicles. Thus I hoped if needed he would be able to work through situations better to be able if felt as though the time would be correct, to then make the way to and/or through Texas for whichever path in life he chose hopefully for the best. He had not known of the trees I planted or where, as well as he had only been able to see through the window compared to having to go through each aspect himself; just the same referencing my daughter up to the time, as she was not old enough to drive. Both knew I had gardened a lot which hopefully would assist regarding if they had been able to reunite with my biological father, as he had taught me much about gardening before I had begun my own research into books and the like for the gardening aspects of my house in San Antonio before moving to my house in Carrollton Texas. I knew I could only teach from one perspective which would be of my own, though I knew others would be able to assist as hoping in the most positively helpful ways as possible. The plants were fantastic to see, and I hoped for snowfall to show my son something from my childhood which was important to me while bittersweetly wishing to be able to do so for my daughter as well at such times in August 2013 though hoping for another point which I could for her as well show such snowfall. Once my son was squared away and the other portion was begun regarding the school ITT Tech in such times, I was able to begin my own work upon going through such situations.

I had met my downstairs neighbor who was a female named Pam, and she was interested in gardening at the time with several Fuchsia plants which I had only seen in pictures and not in person before. We discussed neem oil as she said the organic portions were of what she was more interested in regards of taking care of plants, which I recommended the Organic Gardening Series By: Jim Baker.

I suppose I can joke in a different way about same oven different baker in a few ways to gardening and the Garden State as well in some regards as by technicalities I had assisted with some work in Old Tennent Presbyterian Church among other grounds as well as a church family who had a family farm, who they parents were the two choir directors for several groups for the Old Tennent Presbyterian Church location. Although specifically regarding the upbringing I had gone through compared to the upbringing to which was what my biological sister had, though I had also been able to assist with an autopsy and being from New Jersey I can make such a joke regarding an additional same oven proverbially as to the United States of America and the ways of going through life as well as that was only possible being enlisted in the Army branch of the Untied States of America's Armed Forces compared to the civilian sector of high school in Crystal Lake Illinois. A type of gardening, once again I can sarcastically joke about the history of both areas though obviously the founding area in New Jersey as one of the 13 original colonies.

The patio above on the second floor I was able to look outward to see the large trees in the distance, the fountain area, the buildings, the sky, and much more as the different angles of the areas of the parking lot were dependent upon where I would stand to see to different locations as per triangulation aspects. At first the evenings were difficult to tolerate as per the altitude changes recovery process as per the drive from Arizona through to Washington state in a short several day trip, to which I do not doubt my son as big as his heart is can agree how the dog Harley would not have faired well on the trip and would have gotten sick in the car and how that would have gone through the rest of the trip in comparison to being able to meet the male who Harley was going to go with to be able to actually go onto farmland to be in a way which was more specific to her breed of being a Blue Heeler and Australian Shepherd mix. He would know especially as I showed him in books as to the specific breeds, and how Harley was gaining weight differently because of the lack of movement she needed to be able to go as she pleased. He was able to read the differences and meet the individual as well as see the truck, while also being able to spend time with the male who had taken Harley to be able to go be a working dog. That book portion of such would be a bit later in time to such in 2013, however. Later because only of the second level apartment was I considering the dog aspect because of my son, which to convince such had to begin with getting the male to agree to such before furthering the process to getting another one named Max; despite when getting so, I had preferred the other older dog for myself in comparison though doting on Max just as much as Max was quite the flamboyant type of dog and preferred the color pink and rainbows compared to any other dog I had ever seen with the dainty paws almost as a Pomeranian though the size of a Miniature Dachshund as per the female version named Minne as per the name of the street the apartment complex was on in comparison to the normal spelling of Minnie.

As the time went and spending time on the patio in the evening hours after installing a bamboo fence line around the perimeter of the patio as there was not a rooftop cover for the area almost as looking out from the deck of a boat, though admittedly not having stood on the deck of the USS/USNS General Hoyt S. Vandenberg when I landed at the bottom of the ocean in the Bermuda Triangle in the Atlantic area of the ocean as I was told of a fear of the boat falling over if I had gone inside at that point in time in August 2009. Thus the view of what would be considered as an on land version of the ironic twist of the way the construction of Old Tennent Presbyterian Church being designed by a carpenter who only knew how to build naval vessels, had been an ironic twist to General George Washington's private office during the Battle of Monmouth being built behind the church at the top of the hill which was used as a hospital during the Revolutionary War as being in the state of Washington which was named after him in honor of being the First President of the United States of America after being a General in the Army of what became the Untied States of America. Such additional ironies of such twists and turns, are quite a bit sorted in certain regards though notable.

Snowfall in Vancouver Washington 2013 near the fountain

While looking out towards the ways which I knew lead towards the oceanic waters while looking at the shadows from the trees as well as the shadows among the trees, I simply began thinking and pondering how to proceed forward in various ways while evaluating my own personal aspects. I had been told if problems follow you as soon as you arrive to a new location then you know it is your fault, however if there are problems which only begin after you have arrived to a new location then it is time to look for who is to be at fault for such problems. As I contemplated the words of my biological father about such aspects while mulling over the situations from New Jersey to a capacity, Illinois to a bit of a certain aspects of, and Texas regarding the various spidering of situations and what was occurring at such times meant the need for the utmost quieted thought processes despite hearing the sounds of the electrical portions flowing oddly compared to what I had heard in other regions of the United States of America which seemed odd. Thinking it may have been the types of technology compared to the ways which the oceanic waters flowed towards the land compared to the oceanic waters pushing forward, I pondered if the requirements of such were a bit symbolic as per the areas I grew up swimming when I was a child in New Jersey as very few times throughout such years had ever been in a lake or any type of fresh water. My first 11 years of life were oceanic based as only living less than 1 hour away from Point Pleasant Beach, a couple of hours from Seaside Water Park and the Sandy Hook area, for only a few references to being able to go to swim in the oceanic waters whether my babysitter or the camp had taken me to the waters as rarely would my biological parents go to the beach when I was around. The older I had gotten and the more people I met through various areas and locations, the more chances of speaking with others though also ability to go to the oceanic waters with such instances of what had occurred at such times thereof. Pondering as to the levels of which the lifestyle of adult consent I would be ready to go forward with, as I had not ever been in any location above the Mason-Dixon Line before and having already informed of such the first night of meeting in reference to the Cowboys Dance Hall at the IHOP in Selma area at the Forum regarding such; the truth was known immediately and not hidden, for such truths are important in my opinion for many reasons.

I had gone to the Velvet Rope a few times and began volunteering at the location after getting to know some of the people in the area, however only in such aspects to the comment regarding when going to a new place does such aspects not necessarily apply because of the ways of the community overall. I was told not to use my name known by in the Texas area by the male because of what was seen online afterwards when in Arizona regarding online portions though he had not wanted me to say anything about the state of Texas, which made little sense to me as how could I ever lie in person? After as many medical situations regarding the after effects from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury such as the memory deficits and cognitive disorders as well as the medications thereof for my headaches and migraines, the having gone from College Algebra with Trigonometry and Calculus while in high school and the College level Geometry while in McHenry Community College at the time felt as though such would be extremely problematic for me as in addition to I had not been able to tell a lie to the times I had tried to tell a lie and how badly the situations had been for just a few small times. One being when I was a child at a hotel in Lancaster Pennsylvania and having not eaten nor had any dinner as my biological parents had gone with my biological sister wherever, and the time was spent with the geese in comparison which the Hershey candies were the only thing in the room to eat. I tried and tried to wait for breakfast time, though it seemed as though it would be okay except the fact because I was a child and hungry I only could keep eating; which then the trying to lie by throwing out I knew what a polygraph detector was, did not help the situation. I confessed less than 1 hour later, and the punishment for lying was worse than the punishment for the lies being told by others in comparison for such times. I quickly learned and that was enough, though after my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury was when the fullness of such was possible as seeing how I was unable to lie online as my now dead-ex-husband forced me to make another account to try to fool some female there were issues with because of the openness of that one computer and both going on the site at such times; meant I proved how I could not do so, and then dealt with the repercussions for not being able to lie in person or at all as he had tried to force me to lie in other times and that did not work out in my favor for lying and thus I simply stopped trying or ever having any need to tell a lie as the consequences were not worth it.

I had wondered as if anyone could tell as my hairstyle is specific and so is the hair color I make, though my tattoos are extremely specific as to the look and the placement of. Despite the fact I was told to lie, I could not even try to when going into Velvet Rope as I knew the safety aspects regarding such a type of adult consenting locations which meant the portion regarding such meant little to his opinions as realistically it was not him who was on the line regarding the lifestyle and I was not going to allow some male to ever tarnish my truth as what would that mean for a sexual submissive male who would think that would ever be a good idea to do? Especially as to the fact I had not ever introduced him proper to those who I had known far more in a specific type of length of time, that particular portion of the aspects were illegitimate to me regarding his wants for such anonymousness in the lifestyle as he was not going to walk into the adult lifestyle with someone such as myself and not be recognized as he thought only people in Texas would ever know who I was. I showed him the pictures of my modeling which he liked though he was told of such aspects, I did not think he had realized to the level of my particular name in the adult lifestyle as it was well known as what I had been told by some who came to Texas and said they saw my profile online. I did not know what he was thinking as to no one being able to see me as me in Vancouver Washington regarding my tattoos either, though there were admitted outer aspect circumstances regarding the hows as to how I had wound up in Washington state after Cowboys Dance Hall as to the situations before that time when being surrounded by that male with 5 other of his friends during the Stoney LaRue concert after the initial beginning of them simply taking no for an answer and leaving me alone to simply relax for one night to just listen to music at my first live music concert ever since waking up from my coma from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury. I only went to one concert before then which was seeing the Newsboys when in New Jersey in the 1990s when in youth group at a field in an area near a forested location, which was more than a decade prior I would guess.

No one asked me though at the same time the adult consenting lifestyle being the adult consenting lifestyle, there is a bit of subtlety to the individuals within and the known and yet unknown of such aspects yet not ever having seen such in person as per the portions of only having been in the evening portions within areas throughout the state of Texas comparatively to traveling around to different areas in different states for such specifically. I had met with a female when going to appointments for my daughter after or before the scheduled time as per the drive from Irving Texas to Little Rock Arkansas after moving to the area to still be able to as best as possible take care of what my daughter #Letters4Lidia needed as well as for my son #Letters4James as best as I could, as he could still spend some time with his friends while I took care of the appointments needed. It was enjoyable discussions when able to speak with her for the time, though was not able to arrange where I felt it would be appropriate to arrange to attend an event at the time as per what was needed for the situations overall at such times. A wonderful area to travel through, though the times were as they were with the situations going on overall in such aspects. The questions about the lifestyle in various aspects had been discussed though also in reference to the special needs education, as that was the larger reason to discussing various portions for her own children and some she had known during such times. I had promised her I would do my best to be able to help more parents to be able to get the proper special needs education for children as possible, as I knew what was going on with my son and my daughter and I were not the only biased situations regarding the veteran technicality aspects or the portions regarding the physical appearances of children as to how the same biologicals can sometimes make where some do not look related though the recessive portions showing through more in one compared to another. While my biological sister looks Asian and has the more predominant features physically of such which more would refer to the Mandarin aspects, the physical features of mine are specifically known to heavily influenced in person aspects of which because of my skin tone as well as upbringing the aspects of the Cantonese from the teachings regarding the scrolls and more for such aspects of my upbringing. There are places which the furniture my Bok Gung and my Bok Pu had as well as other aspects which I can recognize in pictures of some locations, as per the portions regarding that part of my upbringing when visiting in New York City as a child.

2013 Vancouver Washington Crystal Creek Apartment Complex in December

As I first started walking around outside and seeing the trees and the branches with a few shadows here and their during the evening on the patio, I noticed several times an almost station wagon looking vehicle a bit taller though which had a bright illumination within the front driver seat. At first upon seeing such I thought it had been the reflection of the waters from the fountain, and the lights from the nearby lamppost. I particularly was not surprised to see such for a moment, and yet something seemed odd about such a shape. Though other portions had caught my attention prior evenings within the beginning of the time at the Crystal Creek apartments, though the area closest to the water fountain had caught my attention the most as per the ways the shadows moved along the hill as well as the way the trees had swayed in such an area. The breeze moved though the branches in ways which had the thoughts running rampant as I simply enjoyed the new sights and sounds of the area, as there was such an openness to which the feelings began to work through such aspects to see the beauty within the darkness. The stars above glimmered in the sky as the tops of the trees looked a bit odd compared to the ways of the stems, while looking at the plant life in the surrounding areas. Watching the leaves change colors to see the passages of time in a normal fashion for myself was a welcoming sight, as the views of such changes were an ironic symbolic view to such times in the northern hemisphere. The plants growing nearby were a fantastic portion of land to see, though the male figure glowing in the front seat of the car later would be learned to be a Honda CRV, which ironically when looking to later portions in time of being in the color of purple to such.

As the nights went onward and the portions to which I was able to sit outside while gazing outward in a more focused sort of way, I was able to review portions of my life while laying on a cot which was the closest to such times being reviewed as to how such could be at such times. How could such aspects as to the only time of ever being in a tent as such ever become what it was as to what I was seeing in reference to what had occurred over the time, and my life was as it once was and was as it was. Shortly afterwards to seeing such a figure mainly in the evening, I was able to notice a bit of a lighter coloration of the hair on the male figure's head which was odd for there had been evenings to which the head looked as though there was almost a military style of a cover though at the same time almost a non-military style of a cover for such a uniform. Intrigued I looked towards such extremely confused as to what I was seeing, for quite frankly I had seen many types of spirits before though something seemed a bit odd for such a time. As I had begun attending Velvet Rope here and there, the portions of which the realities of the lifestyle and such situations were culminating as was being noticed as per the feelings picked up though some non verbal communications were also noticed. I wondered if anyone had known who I was and what the situation actually had been as per both individuals explaining as to how the situations occurred, to how I was in Washington state in comparison. I could not see my tattoos though, because the colder months of the autumn were growing the cold natural process for the area and the more my tattoos had to be covered with more clothing to simply remain warm. The electric feelings to my hair strands were becoming far more intolerable to such times, and the ways to which to try figuring how to work with the situations became more evident as to a few portions when going to a Comedy Club which I had enjoyed the discussions and listening. However a spark in one discussion while outside with Anotoli and the ways such went thereafter the discussion at the time, had been one of the last times I could go to such as per the response back at the apartment and certain other aspects regarding such a Cowboys Dance Hall Stoney LaRue concert male in the reference thereof.

As I watched outside of the figure each night at first a bit enchanted admittedly as to what type of individual was remaining in the vehicle and for what purpose, a bit of a pondering I admit. Then one day of going out to the patio, I saw a male getting out of the vehicle which confused me greatly. He was almost the same height with almost the same build of the figure seen, though was not wearing any uniform nor was he standing upright the way the male had sat upright in the vehicle which was a larger aspect added to my confusion. I noticed such several more times wondering if what I was seeing, was who I was seeing. I listened as per the portion of car door sounds and randomly went outside to check to see if there was the same male figure in the drivers seat area though not having heard such sounds, and there was every now and then the figure beaming. I stood closer to the corner of the patio near the building to look up the hill more proper without giving my position away as I looked with more intent to see into the window for who was sitting in the vehicle, which the male figure was sometimes there and sometimes not there. Once had noticed the what I thought was a cellphone or tablet device in the car causing the illumination, though there was not the change in the movement of the structure to which would look as such. I could not understand as to why I was seeing as I was, as the figure did not look as a normal spirit for such as I had felt from what I was seeing. At that point having seen the physical male was confusing, though then seeing such in the vehicle was a bit to process as the view of such was a sight to see. Another time of such had been with the figure angling his head upwards as though to see me, and yet was not able to see me or I see his face as it was simply a shadow which was another confusion for me. Getting to the point of the telepathic communication regarding other aspects in the nearby area, I had asked for the name or something which would indicate to me as to who I was looking at and seeing which listening to the sound of the word Nottingham was odd to me as I knew I was standing in the United States of America which I thought of the Disney movie Robin Hood while remembering there was a Nottingham in the Untied Kingdom also known as Britain. As per how I am with notepads, sticky notes, calendars, and etcetera for notations; I began writing notes as I do, though put one for times when that male figure was sitting in the car looking upward as I was doing what I could to figure out why I was seeing him as well as hearing him randomly.

A few times I heard additional popping sounds to the electrical areas when walking the dogs with my son to take the dogs out as well as the other aspect, and seeing the movements which were around the fountain were odd in multitudes of ways when walking by the area. The light posts started flickering oddly compared to what the light bulbs were supposed to do for such a type, when a sound came out from the ground of the earth which later I called the local state area officials about an odd smell in the area regarding the place where the water was leaving into a small pooled area after having already heard several in the roadway on the way to the Portland Oregon area during some evening timeframes into the month of September to October 2013, which seemed odd at the time to hear the sounds of the popping. However being on the bridge from Vancouver Washington into Portland Oregon and seeing the amount of power lines, I simply figured that had to do with all of the situations regarding such in comparison to the amount of problems I have had with technology since waking up from my coma from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury; however after my time going SCUBA Diving as well as Irving, I noticed the uptick in the level of situations regarding the electrical situations through the records within Geek Squad and Best Buy for what numbers of laptops I went through from the timing of from 2009 into 2013. I was told of 13 laptops in the totality of 2006 through to 2013, though I was not informed as to which were only from the timeframe of 2009 when I began my SCUBA Diving officially into the year of 2013. The latter portions when getting closer to Seattle Washington in Tacoma Washington, the situations regarding such aspects were felt more-so as I thought because of the more altitude changes compared to the number of the times driving on the road alone comparatively; as per what I noticed in reference to California when going through the area, towards Washington. Though admittedly I thought the main issue regarding the female passenger to the male driver of the silver Lexus SUV type car which almost ran my silver Honda Civic into the concrete median though I avoided such thankfully to then have my son text the other male in his car to tell him to be careful of the silver Lexus because of the area within, as in California being as sensitive as it has been reported if accurate; I guesstimated if you flipped off someone who started a problem to begin with by doing such, then the type of people I had met prior to in certain references would then choose to record such to then pretend such was a problem they knew nothing as to how such started; as per the motorcyclists spirits I noticed along the highway in certain locations, and proven accurate as seeing such run to the Police Officer vehicle parked in the triangle section to which I knew to simply pull of to the side road as I needed to get gas for the car anyway. After the Police Officer ran over to where I was to be told as to what the actual situation was as though he knew to go in comparison such as the insurance companies started getting into trouble for by arranging a car collision for someone who had not been in a collision for awhile to end the rebates which were earned because of such aspects in comparison wrongly in a low end to and low speed collision in certain areas while not caring wrongly, about the fuller extent of such lives being impacted at such times and should be corrected for the betterment instead as the general population learned from that and began playing their own version of such because of that aspect some had seen when working within the insurance companies and used such for their own lists while not caring about anyone else needlessly and then in turn the hoping for such to come for themselves for choosing in that way. However the situation was clarified as the people had not shown the Police Officer the video until after going to the grey Toyota Tacoma truck after my car to then go to the people to see the video, to then return to where I was to say that afterwards of clarifying to allow me to go on forward without any further problems. I hoped so for me, its needed.

As the electrical portions were kicking up more in September then into October with each drive over that bridge, I noticed the situations getting to be more difficult to handle the electrical problems and was unwilling to discuss such with anyone because of what occurred regarding the Geek Squad at the Best Buy who had a male who worked at the location who had asked me and was denied and refused fully as to such type of testings which in turn the refusal to acknowledge such and respect my choice for my body resulted in the responses which occurred if hypothetically such was ignored wrongly by a college student millennial who came from an area in India to which there would be where the focus of such would initially begin for such choices. I warned to stop before I wound up in Washington state while I was in Texas regarding those types of people who would think such to be intelligent and would be proven ignorant, thus the portions of which the problems regarding such issues in technology can be linked in the ways of which that direction from which in came in Clackamas Oregon near Portland Oregon for that.

When I say no, I mean no. No, means red for such clarification from me as only color aspects are for submissives to such when I do something if agreed to however since I despise brats in many ways then the portions of which those who would cause such would then show what side of the equation of life they actually were and thus for such arrogance to ever think of a Dominant who is the one who asks you which color and not the other way around on purpose and by design; if I say or write no that means in for your terms of the color red. It always has and was why I did not need to explain such as I was and I always had been in control of my color system which I came up with regarding for my lifestyle aspects, as I had not hidden I am and have been and still am a Dominant Female Sadist. Thus, the fact of having to write such for clarification shows the additional portions of others' choice to try to overstep such and going towards the brat aspects.

Why do I not like brats in any such way is because when you look at who was always pretending to be cute to pretend to be good while then going to sniff out to rat the other(s) out, usually when they did not get their way as children they would throw temper tantrums and blame everyone else without ever taking responsibility for their actions and choices or ever making any attempt to explain such choices for any aspect at all unless their own life was on the line in comparison which then when such would be the aspects of pretending to be cute to be able to rat out and snitch was something I saw multiple times over in New Jersey as well as in New York and Pennsylvania before Illinois and Texas.

I cannot stand rats or snitches, and those who have such in their pasts as to how many they were ready to drop the dime on quicker than anything else probably did not know that once you do so you are not covered under the same immunity clasuses depending upon what your legal agreements were in the fine print. I did not drop any names to anyone other than one situation regarding the adult consenting lifestyle which in turn was only in reference to the security aspects of DeLoitte in comparison to what hypothetically occurred in reference to me as seeing the Austin Police Report number for 2011 though having told people in person of literally watching others drop the dime on other people in the lifestyle in person without anyone believing me for such because of how I physically look as well as the reasons why I look as I do and while forgetting such at the same time of using such to try to go towards their advantage while ignoring wrongly the ADA which prevents people from discriminating against others' disabilities to which mine are dated and recorded from the time of the coma portion of my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury and many were told and explained such. The fact my book files were illegally spread over the internet without my permission while knowing such books were registered through The Library of Congress to try to override my authority of my usages for what I put in writing as my intellectual property rights in turn means all such portions of such since reading and going through, belong to me regarding the minds of those who had read such if used anything at all for what was not given permission by me for as per intellectual property rights when you think about other aspects thereof to as your choice to read through such information by technicalities would then make such as such if I am accurate? What in turn was the thought as to such regarding the terminology for such as per the realities thereof found in such larger aspects and ways, when thinking about as the realistic portions of the clarity of thought assisted regarding such and/or products I had written about to then hide under shell names and shall organizations to illegally use such information leaked to override illegally whose clearance was shown and proven of such by the levels to which occur for such levels as per paperwork and records of other types.

While some might receive a phone call about such as I was recently told, that is not the way my levels of such are arranged as per different employment or job status always means something different completely as the portions regarding such aspects thereof. Thus only for the security portions was such a phone call made to be able to assist if they looked into the portions regarding the Bank of America rope shabari portions, though not officially saying such to be able to assist in that way because of the lives at risk because of that choice made and knowing what some would see in reference to other aspects from such a picture set. If anyone committed suicide because of that set of pictures in that area, then there is the realistic portion of you having shown them how to do so as anyone can use a camera in comparison to other aspects of other situations regarding different forms of work produced as some aspects are incapable to make without the portions of which training occurs and what happens if ever tested for such aspects then in turn has a different energetic response to make sure all portions of such are clear to me in which the energetic responses for such regarding rubbings compared to my historical and spiritual rubbings in turn goes in which the energetic portions are due to such if hypothetically ever done to the point of which the energetic portions would seep wherever they would seep for such wrongdoings and the problems of the leaking of such into the ground would in turn be as such would be for such arrogance to think anyone could do in a Mandarin way of what was done and fully taught in the Cantonese way well before ever going to Old Tennent Presbyterian Church for that one elective as there was only the rubbing portion of which was taught at Old Tennent Presbyterian Church compared to the other portions of the historical and spiritual portions. Though those taught in Mandarin ways would be arrogant enough to think that would be good enough for their aspects in turn would be their problem for all forms of water, because of the combined aspects thereof such other portions. It is called, a Fail-Safe mechanism in a different way.

Nonetheless while seeing the spirit in the vehicle more clearly at night though not knowing whether or not the male I had met and spoken with was in the apartment, it seemed much odder later when after the times of the Halloween event in Portland Oregon as the crowds started getting bigger and bigger wherever I went in the Velvet Rope. I knew pictures would be put online as per the area and the type of event, however the Cowboys Dance Hall Stoney LaRue male probably did not think about that fact regarding what he had already seen regarding why he said he wanted to go to Alaska with me because of someone who he knew who had Dalmatian Dogs who he thought would be fun to meet which seemed a bit weird at such times though who could I have told about such who would believe me then as per prior experiences and as many as I had where many were claiming I was lying though had always been telling the truth? I could not sleep near him or around him seeing the female from the Disney movie, though I could not remember the name or who she was as the male figure in the SUV kept catching my attention to the point where I started sleeping on the couch to be closer to figure a way to understand more clearly to what was being said in whispers by such when it was more difficult at times because of the coldness of the weather for such a time with the altitude changes and the suction energetic portions from the river area impacting in a different way. I did worry greatly at such a point though I was unable to explain my worry in words as to such as it was not necessarily fear as it seemed something needed to be addressed regarding the problems associated with such, though the pulling towards the SUV was comforting with the water also running nearby as something seemed connected which I could not figure out at the time. Situations in my apartment regarding the electrical portions had only begun in the apartment complex in a smaller way, though again the pipes bursting was the first portion thereof because of the stress levels admittedly to figure so many aspects out at one small point in time.

I could almost hear the male figure playing some music in the car though the engine was not running and the music seemed familiar, though I could not hear the words mumbled at the time from the spirit. As time went onward and the situations went as they had towards November into December 2013, the snowfall came shortly thereafter.

However from the time in September through to October 2013 and meeting the son of Pam named Jason who seemed almost as though I had met him before, had caught my attention in a few different ways as not only regarding certain topic aspects though also his artwork in the garage of many paintings he made. Then there was the aspects regarding the male figure I had seen in the vehicle which randomly would move around to a peripheral vision to see a quick glimpse of what seemed as a sparkle, and randomly in the clairsentient way sensing the aspects regarding Nottingham and Britain in some aspect oddly. In a way I wondered if it was felt as though I was being looked at as Britain or if in reference to others being looked at as Britain, though knowing I was in the Untied States of America and remembering the church I grew up attending at random times when speaking with Jason from Crystal Creek apartment complex. The name seemed wrong for the individual however as it seemed as though that was either a middle name or some nickname instead of the actual name, which admittedly bothered me as well and annoyed me needlessly as I was already going through enough regarding it not having been a full year since disarming my daughter after she had pushed the firearm from the MP into my stomach which she took from him and the whole situation thereof and was trying to simply process one aspect at a time as the aspects of what occurred in the San Antonio Family Court had not even been a whole 9 months by the time of October 2013 as that was in June of 2013 without anyone who I actually had wanted and needed by my side when was the most pertinent point for me personally just as acknowledged was to occur as so many more preferred the gnome situation as I was informed and that does not begin in the other legal aspects of situations regarding name aspects at the SAPD.

Those 2 situations alone while not forgetting the other portions regarding the Cowboys Dance Hall situation, I did not need just any random male in my life as I told my biological mother and my biological father who did not know or understand about the fact I had disarmed my daughter from holding and aiming a loaded firearm in my stomach; and they simply needed to get out of my way and leave me alone for some relationship which I did not need from them to pick out, as obviously they had picked each other out and I did not want such aspects in my own life either of that style of a relationship as I already had dealt with what they refused at the time to acknowledge having seen and been told about.

In the portions regarding the aspects of September when meeting Jason for the first time a few weeks after first moving into the apartment complex, the situation bothered me in ways which I could not put into words as more along the lines of the feelings in a confusing aspect regarding the male from the Cowboys Dance Hall compared to the feelings when listening to Jason speak. The sound waves when words were spoken were different than I had heard in awhile especially to such a point in time which some of the trees above the roofline moved differently as when looking compared to when seeing the trees behind the other male move as when he spoke, which the three of us had discussed the aspects of my personal involvement regarding being an Ethical Female Dominant Moral Pansexual Polyamourous Sadist to which I can make a joke with. I do my best to be as ethical as possible whether speaking with a fe/male while being in control of myself to dominate what I need for myself morally caring about more while speaking the truth and the saying of sometimes, the truth can really hurt. I may have a twisted sense of humour when it comes to word puns, however I had taken 2.5 years of Latin and thus it seems as common sense possibly.

Nonetheless from the times of first speaking with him I remember the explaining as to how the meeting first occurred the night of the Stoney LaRue concert in March 2013 and while not going into much details regarding what occurred which I was working on dealing with, I had said I had a daughter as well as a son though he would only see my son at the apartment complex as when I had explained to him. It was difficult to speak with him at times as it felt as though I could not know what I was picking up energetically from the situation as there was much occurring in September and as my son's birthday was celebrated, my daughter's birthday was coming up and that was a lot for me to process as I wondered about what possible else I could have done to be better for both her and my son. I had done everything I possibly could think of to work towards getting my children squared away properly while being as great of a Mom as I could be, and with her birthday coming up and not being able to verbalize because of the additional pain when certain aspects occurred in the area regarding zapping; I simply went through the feelings and thoughts as I could, as the portions of which my having to make such a choice was the worst pain my heart had ever felt. I was pregnant and a Mom before I was one full year out from the coma from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury and delivered my son just after being a little over one year out of the coma, to deliver my daughter a little over 2 years from waking up from my coma to which I had to be taught the names of colors as well as taught how to count to ten for a clearer reminder as to the levels of knowledge to understand the aspects of being a Mom. Knowing my neighbor was not my daughter biologically when noticing certain aspects, I simply could not help but to take action regarding the snow shoveling as well as the kitty litter for the prevention of ice as well as prevention of rust as per the chemicals in the other type to the grandchildren's bicycles as she said she preferred the organic gardening which does take more to clean at times though the chemicals would have caused rusting quicker as I read the ingredients before purchasing it at the store myself. In some ways there is an admitted wondering as to when later in 2014 and seeing the male figure in the CRV in the daytime during such rare aspects of, when in the patio area and the 2 females had ordered their two sons to aim and point the recorder instruments from school musical class towards my patio floor area and seeing the male figure screaming furiously towards the direction of those two females while dealing with the pain levels; I listened when he said CPS as the portions of her cancer regression and what I had listened to during evening portions shortly after certain aspects of the male figure, while also noticing the silver sheriff looking vehicle start to pour in more often.

The discussions in reference to the water line breaking in the apartment regarding the washing machine as well as the shower, the maintenance males said the pipes had to be re-tefloned and other areas just needed more caulking to stop the leaks from my apartment to their apartment beneath the flooring even though I asked why it was only caulk or teflon if it was a leak. The younger male said he knew about how plumbing worked and knew teflon covered the threadding, which I told him if there was a clog then the teflon would be useless as the clog would push more of the waters to force through to then burst and crack spilling the water elsewhere. He then another time told me that the caulk would help the leak from breaking the seal of the area to which the water leak downstairs would then not be as bad for Pam, though I repeated the aspects of. The washer did not leak nor did the shower onto the floor inside of the apartment, which again was weird as to the claim of the water leak as I knew there was nothing seen through the drywall as it was flat pain in comparison to semi-gloss paint. However that portion in 2014 regarding the male figure I had written in emails about seeing as to why I had begun to learn how to use a vape pen or e cigarette to e-smoke inside had been after months of other portions which included the constant complaints I was told about, from the Cowboys Dance Hall male saying he heard another complaint from the leasing office when he walked the dogs by the front office as the females would only speak with him and would not speak with me beyond a curt hello or hi to run inside away from where I was or would stare through their blinds when at the patio despite following their approval of the tent portion to which they were using Pam and Jason to not acknowledge the reality of their own approval of the tent and type as well as bamboo for the fencing to prevent being able to see as there was not a cover and the front office door was where I was blocking the view from as I knew such types of situations from having lived across the street from the President of the Homeowners Association and they said that was the only 3 bedroom apartment available at the complex for move in. After awhile of simply just doing what I could to not be as electrocuted at the times as being outside helped compared to being inside when dealing with such, the electrical transformer next to the building when walking by with the dogs one afternoon was glowing red in the ground and I had my son run inside to get the phone for me to call 9-1-1 about that as what would have been shrapnel if the electrical ground current had gone forward any further would have been a major blast which would have mainly gone towards Pam's and Jason's apartment as per the way the projectiles would have flown and the back patio door was glass which would have been extra different types of shrapnel or for lack of a better word; though the apartment complex office did not respond to the email sent, and the situations regarding getting help from HUD was difficult regarding everything going on addtionally from before.

Everything was going well up at the apartment complex until the Halloween event which I knew there would be pictures posted and I was dealing with the male regarding the Cowboys Dance Hall situation as well as everything else, though months went by and while having heard the females of the sons discussing someone they wanted to get rid of for Tracy; I was simply working on my laptop computer and processing how to proceed forward, writing notes along my notebooks and different writing pads as I usually have several I work within at one given time to work towards organizing my thoughts for the ways which my thoughts can flow. Several months later as well as the male figure becoming more predominant in that CRV, and when recovering from the recorders I had pushed myself to get inside to call because of the situations combined. Later I received an email about sticky notes, and as many notebooks as I had used sticky notes to mark the pages as I had at one point done when at my houses for the calendars on the wall though for kind of bookmarks for additional information to point out to; I had not known which possible sticky note had escaped from my patio from what was written in the email. I was processing writing the FSL book series which also going through documentations of the paperwork, while going through the photo albums as I was working towards getting all of my pictures I took digitized to be able to have for myself to do with as I chose once digitized, though the situations went as they had regarding such. I was also dealing with the vision of the male figure while also seeing visions of other locations in which the aspects of also finding such areas later regarding the Afterglow, while going through what I could do to find a better way for myself and others I knew had to have such need for the assistances regarding multiple aspects as I could not handle touching the laptop keyboard without the sparks flying out from the board the way that occurred in San Antonio regarding the dissertation laptop fire and the electrical transformer box area ground lighting up concerned me more as I was not using a more modern laptop by then and it was much older which should have calmed such aspects down though had not which was odd in a multitude of ways additionally.

Though I was told Jason was interested in me which I admitted I was interested as well, the situation regarding at the Velvet Rope thereafter regarding one female I had a scene with her and her husband watching as I spanked her after discussing several safety aspects had been a turning point for the situation towards the worse as then was when I was berated for who I found attractive to have such consenting adult enjoyment with. I was told of what was thought of my choice and my decisions regarding what I found attractive in such a manner for such an aspect of BDSM at the Velvet Rope, which confused me as to why as it made little sense to me what the problem was as to who I chose to consensually work with the spank her on their table bench at the Velvet Rope. It was around either the middle to end of October or the beginning of November 2013 which at the event Jesse had left the area to as he said go to the smoking section to not have to see me do anything of such with that type of female, which made little sense to me. As that had kicked up and as Jason and I were talking more often though before the Sheriff had arrived because of the leaking water as told to by the maintenance males, at a point there was a moment which Jason had asked me about his artwork and I told him he needed to get his artwork for more to be able to see what he was capable to make. He asked me to assist with finding buyers to which I told him some of his work would be suitable for fetlife patrons while other pieces would be more befitting in less adult type of locations, though facebook would be assistive for that process. As Jesse watched while Jason and I spoke about Jason's art pieces he made I simply was honest as usual, which at a point of having to go inside to take care of making dinner for my son and I as well for the aspect of that time; a little bit of time went by before Jesse went inside and angrily started throwing a temper tantrum about how he was upset about my modeling all of a sudden. When I asked what he meant he started telling me everything that was wrong with each picture he found of me on my laptop telling me and showing me each flaw of each image though only finding one which was worthwhile to anyone, which was one of the airport pictures which I was sitting on the airplane wing in the version of a type of dress blues like the Marine Corps with a helmet nearby being the only one that mattered to pay attention to.

I explained the pictures were for me to be able to help me to remember better as to what I looked as because of the after effects from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury, which admittedly not realizing of not being able to see my tattoos at the moment anyway because of the long sleeve and long pants I had to wear to keep warm and to hold the e cigarette I had to pull the sleeve over my hands to be able to push the button for the ability to use. At some point he brought up how Jason had asked about me modeling as well as some other portions and since I had been honest and admitted I had found Jason attractive and thought it would be a good idea, the modeling in combination to what was already admitted to was a bit more than I knew at such times. Each modeling session of pictures I have posted from what I have done in modeling sessions are what I have done, with the exception of one photographer which the CD he said he had mailed with my pictures was in the mail and had not ever arrived despite the email saying it was sent a few times instead of emailing the pictures as most photographers I had worked with had done before in 2009 and 2010. As I had been the same way in SCUBA Diving as I had been in reference to my modeling as I had been in regards of my Dominant Mentor Program classes, I took my modeling extremely seriously and had not ever been in a relationship or had been intimate with what was supposed to be for modeling because of the requirement for the respect of the work being done as while I had done so for helping myself regarding the way I look and seeing the tattoos in such aspects; there was a hope if ever good enough to be able to get into such professionally, though the same in reference more specifically to the SCUBA Diving as per the situations I was working on through each certification class I graduated from of my 26 SCUBA Diving certifications and the additional books and research I read for each topic sections thereof for such studies to create more.

It was unclear to me as to what the problem was as I had already explained such aspects as to how serious I took the aspects of when to be more reserved compared to when needing to get more in depth of such aspects, and in reference to the modeling it made little sense why all of a sudden the problems aside from the fact of having already admitted to having found Jason attractive and much more comfortable to speak with. After that point I went outside on the back patio to look around seeing more of the male figure beaming brightly within the CRV and wishing I could figure a way to ask about such more specifically though because of more aspects than was discussed at such times, the only way I could do so was through the written word because of how painful it was at times to speak. I watched a few sparks fly upward from the electrical transformer when I spoke to a male walking a dog while walking with my son and the other with the two Miniature Doxies which began to get jealous immediately of me paying attention to the bigger dog a black Labrador Retriever which was far more of my type of dog type in comparison to Miniature Doxies, to which the Mini Doxies had to be held back from all of their tantrums because of how I play with bigger dogs more easily as I do not have to worry about being more gentle with a pet in comparison to simply just having fun and living. I had 2 Great Danes which while they were growing and when they each individually were over 100 pounds each, I had trained my two Great Danes to walk only when I walked and to sit if I stopped to speak with anyone; of which even with 2 Yorkies running around their feet to nip and bark, my 2 Great Dane dogs maintained their composure and sat properly while randomly looking towards me for a swift calming from the yippers. When able to run around in the backyard my 2 Great Danes named Ganesh and Freya/Frejia would be at the fence line waiting for those yippy dogs until they had gotten to around the middle of the fence line after those times of walking, to wait for just the moment to start barking at the same time and causing the yipper Yorkies to run around and scream. Always a fun time when watching my 2 Great Danes running around as when the bullfrogs would come into the backyard afterwards that evening, I would simply sit at my laptop enjoying the backyard and the weather while wondering as my son #Letters4James and my daughter #Letters4Lidia were sleeping in their rooms upstairs in my house in San Antonio with my ears listening to make sure everything was alright in case I needed to move to get to what was needed quicker. Watching those 2 Great Danes and pondering to myself, what could possibly be regarding when the time came and I was a Mom though not a Mom though a Mom as a news report I read in the newspaper had caused me to think a bit about such a topic. Though I had brought up at a point of writing a book series or a few was a possibility, I had wondered if there would ever be a need for such from someone such as myself as I was reminded of how I could not get into college by those at the time in my life and wondered if I would ever have something worth writing about which would be of interest in the positive and good ways as per such that would be beneficial as well as profitable as taking such a risk as to write a book or a book series seemed quite scary to me as then what does one do if such is a success? What is success? Does success mean it occurs at only one portion of one time or is success the entirety of the whole, or does success come and go as with the times as per the portions being worked upon, or does success...?

I was quite content with being a Mom despite certain situations to which when in my house in Carrollton Texas after having moved and beginning SCUBA Diving certification courses while doing the best to be a positive influence on and in my son and my daughter's lives, I hoped showing them how much I had worked for such would be helpful as well as seeing the work physically put into SCUBA Diving courses for my National Geographic Open Water SCUBA Diving certification. It was extremely important for me to be able to share with them for such aspects of the amount of work it took to successfully graduate with such because of all of the prior portions to just that point in time of the year in 2009 regarding the studying and reading as I did not begin my course for the National Geographic Open Water SCUBA Diving, as my book studying work began shortly after finding the Jewish Medical Journal research project on how SCUBA Diving had assisted people who had headaches and migraines of which after contacting the PhDs and Master Degrees of the article. I did so to ask about the portions specifically regarding the after effects from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury as to what they had noticed as to such while acknowledging the knowledge of them not having a Medical Degree, though what their ideas were about the portions regarding without any responses from as well as in reference to the UK Medical Journal and a few others. I went through certain portions of the encyclopedia set I had purchased for my son and my daughter to be able to read and/or have read to them, to be able to look into further aspects while looking through a few of my books within my library at the time to see if there were additional portions of which would be considered as important.

While the realistic ability to thankfully be able to show my son #Letters4James and my daughter #Letters4Lidia how many books I was working on during such a time, we also discussed certain other topics besides the school at McCoy among several other topics as the weather was always enjoyable at such times; I had continued to hope of being able to make sure my son and my daughter could and would always be able to be proud of me as their Mom(my) as I had done everything I could possible in a multitude of ways, to ensure their best possibilities as best as I could possible.

Within the timeframe of the aspects regarding October through November 2013, the combination of amount of people who arrived at the Velvet Rope had begun to startle me as being accustomed to the levels prior though only there for a certain amount of time previously had caused me a bit of pause as per the situations regarding the Halloween event and the pictures taken of such; while initially being told not to worry or fear anything via the male, then the situations are regarding the male figure continued. After a point in time which the Sherriff arrived because of whatever phone call was made for the Sheriff to arrive to the front door of my apartment telling me of a problem with the downstairs neighbors saying the leaking problem from the washer area, was getting out of hand as well as bringing up how Jason had told the Sheriff as to how he thought he had the right to tell me how to raise my son. I asked the Sheriff as to what his wife would do regarding if he had been told of the opposite regarding the fact I was as I am and I explained the situations as best as I could regarding the situations overall in brief, including regarding my daughter and my son and the best I was doing; which then I asked as to why a male who was living with his Mom would contact him about the washer and shower leaking water, as well as the situation regarding the fact Jason tried to tell me how to raise my son and he was living with his Mom who was recovering from the regression from the cancer she had once had. I asked him what his wife would think of and how she would respond to such a reversed situation, which he smiled and chuckled for a moment before the male from the Cowboys Dance Hall had gone into details regarding the request for me to model for Jason as well as the issues that he had with Jason regarding the asking of modeling pictures which I did acknowledge I had modeled though did not know about being asked for the modeling portion. The Sheriff said he would ask what was going on with such and if he needed to ask me any further questions about that situation he would stop by the apartment and ask, which I agreed if it was necessary for the assistance at the time. He walked down the stairs to go towards Pam and Jason's apartment, to then go inside of the building in the area of.

I looked to the side of the garage area seeing a bit of the figure turn around to go towards the other side similar to how people said Pastor William Tennent had been known to do when running around the Old Tennent Presbyterian Church as I heard the Nottingham word again, thinking to myself as to what the problem was regarding Britain again in such a reference to which I decided to order a New Jersey Flag and an American Flag because I knew I grew up in New Jersey and the church I grew up attending was used as a hospital during the Revolutionary War which General George Washington had ordered the church to be used as a hospital at the time of the Battle of Monmouth, which was just next door to the grounds of the square mile cemetery. I was Confirmed as a member back in 1997 graduating class which began in the year of 1996, which I highly recommend if you are in the area during time for services to stop by and enjoy a more traditional style of church service with the historical aspects of the church itself as the congregation had once been large enough to fill the majority of the church on the hill compared to while knowing of the COVID portions the aspects thereof regarding the importance to learn from actual history and those who had been there even within the church itself and the levels of which are needed in various ways as to the importance of tradition.

However in reference to by the time of the Christmas season in 2013 while even though life had been as it had been up to such a point I thought while working on everything to get a bucket for my son hoping this would help him as well as his sister later when possible, to take a moment to write a minimum of one or two things to be thankful for and genuinely so in case of ever needing a way to look at what aspects on what day of what year of what was to be grateful for on that day as a small way to find something to smile about if ever needed for when times became difficult and could literally grab a handful of small pieces of paper which had the most amount of meaning for such aspects. I showed him in a tiny way though knowing of the need for such regarding the ability for such in reference to my daughter and other such aspects, as to an additional portion for creating my website as to give a different view as to what to be thankful for as knowing of more who needed such aspects to find even a tiny little way for such appreciation. Thus in reference to my Medal of Honor Art Project the ability for such Constitutional Rights and Amendments as such individuals who had been a part of the various times whether on the soil of the Untied States of America or in another land doing what was possible for the best outcome for both their country as well as our country for a longer and more prosperous world, as even though there is not the denial of situations and problems over time the ability to genuinely be willing to reconcile as to at minimum to acknowledge of the smaller differences to be able to see of being part of a much larger whole to acknowledge the ability to move forward in a more positively beneficial manner and way. My books, artwork, photography, SCUBA Diving education/courses/classes/certifications, and modeling would not be possible without such rights for me because of such individuals and those who had been in whichever branch or division for such regarding the United States of America and the Constitutional Rights and Amendments for such a possibility. The Ornery PSA my equivalent of a journal blog though able to see could be considered as a bit more would not be possible without such either, despite some opinions as to certain choices of wording. However I did not think it took a head injury to figure out such rights for Freedom of Expression which does not cause anyone to actually go to commit problems needlessly, was and has been covered under such Constitutional Rights afforded by those who had been a part of the Armed Forces branches and divisions of the United States of America; and if I am the only one who had honestly seen such regarding my choice of words with the additional portions thereof, that definitely states something about common sense. Though nonetheless the ability to show in a multitude of ways to be thankful and grateful genuinely as best as possible while pushing forward as best as possible, has been a priority of mine for myself as well as for others. I have seen much far before 2013 and have seen more up to this moment and further in 2021 just one day before the celebration of the 4th of July 2021, which I am thankful for what time I have had to be able to be a Mom(my) to my son #Letters4James and my daughter #Letters4Lidia as best as I could while hoping to positively show ways to assist better.

At that time I had not officially began the publishing portion through the Library of Congress though I could see the need after the second week into October as per certain situations noticed regarding some individuals moving into the apartment complex, as the individuals who I had met up to the point had been of a certain age which seemed odd to me. There were several groups of younger individuals seemingly trust fund type of individuals who had moved into the building as well as nearby buildings just when the timing of preparation for the organization of the paperwork started to begin, which felt to be odd when noticing certain signs from nature in different ways. Seeing the male figure in the CRV light up in a different way seemed a bit to pay attention to when such began, as the phone call which gave me the idea to contact the IRS seemed most pertinent for seeing such aspects flow through the hill area downward and to the left as well seemed most odd because of the ways which the walking of the dogs came around and was peculiar for such a time and some of the faces looked familiar though I could not remember the names of such individuals. When the fax was sent I felt the tension though at the same time admittedly as much as I do not want or like to admit it, there was a sense of peace which filled over me at the time as I walked towards the apartment seeing the male figure light calm down a bit from some of the energetic frequencies I had noticed; though I felt horrible for having to get to such a point, it seemed as though for some reason he actually was happy for once in comparison to some combined portions thereof.

After a point when there was a moment of which speaking with Pam the following year in 2014 when the drizzle began and my son as well as the other walked towards the apartment I swear I could almost feel as though Jason was standing in front of me across the fence line, though I did not understand as to why I saw Jason in the physical standing behind me at the back patio as I wrapped my jacket over Pam's shoulders while seeing the male figure in the distance looking similar to Jason though older while looking back towards the fence across the road. I thought I saw him with a clear coating on top of a cover lighting up in a darker color for a top though matching the shade of clothing I saw the male figure standing, as he smiled and looked upward towards the back patio which seemed odd to me as I did not know what Jason was doing behind me as I had simply covered his Mom from the rain. As she and I spoke and while I truly had wanted to speak with Jason admittedly, I could not go past the electrical transformer to the back patio as the frequency was too much for me to handle dealing with at such a close area regarding the emotional portions as well as seeing that vision of a figure. I had seen that male figure angrier later on though I had seen such just prior in regards of October in 2013, though the first time in the last few days of September 2013; admittedly I had thought of if in reference to the crying which I had kept to myself in regards of the time of my daughter's birthday, while forgetting I ever had one to begin with regarding my own birthday just before my son's birthday when looking back now. Though in all honesty, what was I able to find to celebrate beyond being able to spend time with my son while keeping as calm as I could while hoping for the best for my daughter as well?

The situation regarding the male figure continued onward in 2014 and it was odd seeing him when in Iowa in 2018 one point in time in my room as I was getting my Medal of Honor Art Project pieces laid out from the day's trip and moving around the furniture before going to write on one of my calendars about a few notations, as I listened to him comment about a few portions after a point during breakfast which at the time made sense though not as much at this point in time beyond having to telepathically remind him that it was the United States of America and not Nottingham United Kingdom or the more common name of Britain. I did have to chuckle or at minimum smile as to his comment about having posted my New Jersey Flag as well as my American Flag in the apartment complex, as the symbolism pointed to was quite amusing in the twisted ways thereof. It had not made sense as to why he had shown up as he had as the portions of which regarding his joke of making a claim to such had made little sense to me, as I knew my SCUBA Diving gear was from the UK however it was still the land of the United States of America as why he kept repeating Nottingham still makes little sense to me at this point. However the male regarding Cowboys Dance Hall Stoney LaRue concert had said when he spoke with his dad on the phone of the nickname he gave me of Knotthead, which when I asked why he thought such he had said it had to do with my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury before I went into my room I was kept in for awhile at the time said around 2015. I stood looking at my next Medal of Honor trip plans thinking about the knots regarding boats as I had been working on my idea for the Underwater Travel System and had posted such after having spoken with a patent lawyer who I was unable to explain such aspects in a way which I felt comfortable beyond certain wording because of knowing the levels of the intensity regarding several security portions, though hoping I would be contacted as to who to speak with specifically as the other aspects of a ferry video I had taken when going to Friday Harbor from Anacortes Washington one year was also an important aspect to pay attention to which I had thought I felt a few rumblings.

However not having the specific idea as to who to ask or who to speak with about such in more specific details, I simply went on my way and continued on with what portions of my Medal of Honor Art Project trips as needed. At such times I had begun filming with a show doing some improv as explained after signing a contract for the recording at a studio location which all specifics were needing the signed release from each location, as explained to me from the male named Joey who said he worked at Boeing when in Bellevue Washington. I was asked to request such from Club Sapphire which I spoke with Ray about and he did not agree nor did Sandy from what I was told at the time, and though I had brought up the possibility of if discussed further with what required details would be needed if the portions of part of my Medal of Honor pieces were something to think about regarding the trips if I had the ability to discuss with prior to such trips because of the requirements I knew were needed for even following in a car; however, that was not gone through with as none had discussed with me regarding the male Joey who had presented a contract for the video taping in Bellevue Washington only as explained as also where the studio for the gymnasium area for boxing as well as the studio garage itself as per locations within the city limits only from what was explained by the male named Joey who said he had a daughter who worked at Boeing.

Looking back now it seems odd regarding a hat a male wore who was upset about a picture on fetlife and preferred on facebook claiming it was safer for him to have such a picture there instead, not remembering the picture was taken with my phone though my biological mother was taking the picture for everyone in that picture at SeaWorld that day we had gone and the caricatures were drawn at the kiosk as they spoke with Anna Louise Hom regarding who I had been at the SeaWorld San Antonio Texas with of my son and my daughter. That time in 2012 when at SeaWorld with such and as they spoke with my biological mother about whatever they spoke to her about after the time in Austin Texas of a 2011 clearance drop name as well as the outing at a club the same individual whose girlfriend at the time which is the city which that wedding my biological sister PaTricia Ann (Hom)(-Miller) had been the bride at in Austin which I had explained and warned others about throughout the state of Texas, was before I had disarmed my daughter in that same year of 2012 as well as being before the interrogation at my biological mother and biological father's house which I had informed Erica about as well as Alicia and others which everyone simply laughed because of how I explained the situation compared to the fact of actually having to physically disarm my daughter which I had thought each knew and understood at the times of explaining such as it would not have made sense to me to ever think that anyone would not hear such and truly have thought that was nothing more than a funny story compared to the reality it had been in each situation. If accurate about SeaWorld then Joseph and Megan Estes met Anna, unsure of them meeting Mike, just as I do not know if they met Patricia because of her refusal along with my biologicals; which I explained the lack of concern as well as how I had been treated throughout my childhood through to that time which so many refused to acknowledge as the truth back then in 2012 and before that year in time.

Ironically, not one time had I brought up the drama or problems in Washington state in reference to what I dealt with regarding the various aspects of the lifestyle scenes I had seen or been a part of anywhere in the state of Texas regarding the adult consenting lifestyle aspects. The choice as well as the need to not bring up the past problems while I was attending the Velvet Rope as well as Club Sapphire while in Washington state while not denying who I am or where I have been, however when asked in the Velvet Rope one evening before the scene as well as before Halloween I was asked by a female in the club what political party I was in. When I told the female in Portland Oregon with different color hair that I am a Republican and when she asked me who I voted for in the different Presidential elections for the past 13 years, I informed her who I had voted for in the 2000, 2004, 2008, and 2012 elections to which she sighed with a small smirk to then say that's nice before walking into one of the other rooms at the Velvet Rope one evening during one week if anyone knows more about such aspects to be able to know what that response meant beyond what I knew of my biological mother regarding what happened with the ceiling medallion I had painted as well as the dining room area tiered smaller light fixture that had matched my bigger tier light fixture for my house in San Antonio to the colors of the different houses with multiple differences between the two designs while adding other colors within and throughout my house and my property within my gardening areas in the front and the back yards. I had driven to Austin Texas to pick up the light fixture initially for just my dining room though was told before hand of a second one possibly being available to which since my biological father had gone with me to Austin because of the drive and possibility of me getting lost because of being out of San Antonio Texas, I had not told him I knew of the second piece officially until after handing over the cash to the two people who had waited for me to arrive as per the scheduling of the time to pick up the main piece for myself with the possibility of either the other one going to me as well for the kitchen area if I thought would work out or if it was too big per the area to give the other one to him for his house in San Antonio as I showed my biological mother the picture and she said she liked it and it was nice. After seeing the second piece and knowing it was too big for the area I chose to keep the first one which I had wanted for my house and at the price of $90.00 for the second one, that was a deal I could not pass up when my biological father had seen the pieces in person. I handed over the cash as the couple and I spoke for a few hours before the final portion of the transaction of the money exchange as I found that on ebay and messaged through their system as to arranging because of the glass in the box and worrying about the part of the frosting being a bit art of a weakness for the delivery portion, and that was the only reason as to why I chose to ask to go pick it up instead.

As when returning after also stopping at Home Depot for the two ceiling medallions for me to paint one for my house and one for his house, I figured it would be a great surprise which would be enjoyed for years as the way I made each portion of the medallion to be as such to which upon returning to San Antonio from Austin, Mike was thrilled to be able to work on something just as he used to be regarding the watch business he had in New Jersey before how that had gone. My biological mother was there waiting and when she saw the second piece she was happy, until she learned that one was for her along with Mike. I cannot remember the two people by name though I had told them about the after effects from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury, though I am uncertain if later if they contacted Mike and/or Anna and/or Patricia and had not a clue as to who they had spoken with at such a point in time comparatively. As my biological mother complained about the entire light fixture without anything she could find that was worthwhile for that to be hung inside the house, I showed her the medallions I picked up to make into something more than what she saw which she complained about saying there was nothing worthwhile about what I could make to her and it was nice for my house compared to anything she wanted for her house. Mike told her not to kick a gift horse in the mouth and she rolled her eyes saying it was nothing important while bringing up how she needed to get something picked up for my biological sister, as I went to go make a percolator full of coffee and start dinner. Mike was looking over the instructions as as cooked, which afterwards I painted the medallions and had give the time to dry and curate before the installation processes as when my light fixture was installed the way the colors added a bit of flair was exactly what I was looking for to add to the ambiance I had created for my house in San Antonio. When the secondary piece was put into their house and installed fully the portions of which how such looked, was appeasing for the eyes to look at though how such was ever seen beyond such was an annoyance as explained to Anna as she could not look at the dining room area the same after it was installed. She complained about the lower levels of light to see in comparison to the brightness in my house while not taking into consideration the height differences in the ceilings as I had a Cathedral style of ceiling compared to her 9-10 foot ceiling, and the color arrangements were completely different which meant the walls would not ever look the same in combination with the type of texturing for the walls made a difference. It was considered as okay to look at though when describing to some in my house what I had made in reference to the one I purchased for Mike's house, few were as unimpressed as my biological mother and not as disgusted as my biological sister for such a piece arrangement.

Initially after listening to the female say that's nice in response to my political party of choice as Republican when returning to my apartment to go inside that evening, I looked around as I drove the car through the hilled area towards the garage to see a light follow through after going inside of the garage when pulling forward. I got out of the car to close the garage to see that car go to the front office to turn around and drive towards the area of the fountain slowly, to then make its way towards where I was walking up the stairs to my apartment as I felt a surge when I placed the key inside of the door lock. It took a moment to be able to turn the key which the door had to be opened from the amount of surging from my key ring and the metal part of the door, which when going inside I hear my car's alarm go off and I had to click the key pad on the car while being electrocuted from the surges which ran from that electrical transformer to that area. I had to re-click the garage door as the garage reopened while slowly walking inside as the metal boning in my corset filled with electrical pulses, to which when looked at I was asked what was wrong with my eyes as they changed color. I could not speak from all of the pain from the zapping that October 2013 evening, and when making sure the garage door was closed and the alarm stopped beeping from somehow the alarm going off; I peeled off my corset and whatever else was a part of my outfit that evening to get to the shower, and try to figure out what happened regarding the surges and the alarm as it did not make any sense to me. After I cleaned up and was dressed in warm clothing I walked over to my son's room to see how he was sleeping, and give him a kiss on his cheek as he kept quietly to himself. I walked through the hallway to turn the corner towards the living room area over to the back patio to go stand outside, looking upward to the sky and seeing a shooting star in the distance. Sighing to myself and wondering much more I turned to looked to see a flash from the electrical transformer before seeing the male figure in the CRV yet again, though looking more softly towards the fountain area which seemed odd for the time.

I went back inside after a few minutes to see my computer desk area with the mats on the ground as well as the mats on the table underneath the area I was working in, while shuffling through some paperwork. I thought I heard the sound of Zippy coming around the bend, though I had not seen Zippy in years. I looked out the window to look for her to see if she was around the area for that aspect which is only of her regarding my 2009 VW Beetle though the specific aspects to which was actually only her in comparison to the car itself, though I had not seen where she had went as she usually made herself known in a specific way as that was how she let me know she was around and needed my attention for something important. I also admittedly could not remember what the sign was to get my attention to be able to see what she was looking at and thus, only the feeling made sense and not the portion regarding where she would have gone to as she did not always stay in the VW Beetle when needing my attention for something important to be looked into. There were a few locations I had driven around to with that car which when she did something specific, I would pay attention to the aspects of to see what I needed to take care of for such a time in Texas; though she had her way of how she had been, only a few would know of her type of specifics as to whether or not she approved or did not approve of a situation or a person. I knew that was in reference to my Beetle though she had done so regarding where I went and was not one to specifically only have to do with the car itself, as Zippy is as Zippy is or however such wording for those times. When looking through the paperwork and going through the documents to think of what was occurring and how best to be able to make the safest path for choices I knew were going to be mandatory no matter which way I had went, I knew to mediate for awhile while walking outside on the back patio to look around.

The following day was a phone call and that phone call for that piece of paper made more sense, than so much at that point in time to get squared away as I had not fully gone through all of the paperwork as I found more than what I thought I had which meant the levels of which I thought I could have finished by the end of the year for 2013 meant that the additional paperwork boxes would mean more time needed to fine tune the organizations of the dates for the documents in a sequential order as I had already prepared. Remembering when working at the car dealership when I was a teenager I recalled how much filing I needed to work on to clear up some of the prior mistakes I found in moving around the envelopes for the file jackets, however obviously a bit more information than just the portions regarding the larger situations involved in combination. I could not hesitate to think as to whether the idea was what would protect the most though I had hoped it would for seeing what paperwork I found further, meant the requirement of the additional safety aspects thereof which being as covered as I was the need to see my tattoos to help took a bit more time to remember as per the timing thereof additionally as it was not just one or two situations in one or two houses as I could see how it could possibly impact more than just one or two cities or one or two states. I did not know how far it would go or how across the ways it could possibly be, though the portions of which I had not been able to figure out I knew would be at some point and for those who I could protect however best possible was the only way I could think of from what signs I had available at the time where I was in an area which had not ever been known to me from being in person for. I walked outside after sending the fax from the office to walk closer to my apartment and when walking by the garage my car alarm went off near the fountain area when getting close to the edge where the water met the rocks to meet the grass, which I had to fumble around to find the key button to push the alarm button to stop beeping which took a few clicks to get it to stop beeping though seeing someone walking off in the distance up the hill caught my attention as they walked downward from the street area which seemed odd at the time. I did not recognize them nor did they have what people in the area normally carried when walking around the property if a resident of the apartment complex for exercise, and also did not fit into the overall demeanor of the individuals of the property per the energetic portions of the personality. I did not recognize anything about the individual and after stopping the alarm from going off I noticed the individual slow down while I was looking in my purse to see them walk towards the side closer to the trees, before I walked onward to get where I was going to my apartment. That was the first time I had noticed that though there was a time in 2010 when that was noticed in reference to when I was driving a vehicle back to the Cedar Park rental house from an event, which Phillip Omstead had noticed a few cars following behind me as I drove which I took a few different turns to then get to see them head on which they averted and turned backwards. I had told people well before 2010 and afterwards of the threats I had dealt with in some different situations, though it seemed of little importance back in those days to them when seen in person to explain as best as I could. I already had shown the differences in Arizona earlier that year in 2013 as to what I was seeing in regards of claims against me while I was in Arizona though the claims of being in the state of Texas, to which the comment made at the time from my biological father was clear though how so was unknown to me.

Thus learning of the books being fully released without my permission and the later aspects thereof as per such, might make a bit of sense to anyone who may have known me in person in Texas as to the various aspects to my responses if some had shown up to speak with me in person though refused by their own choice to not speak with me in truth by not simply asking me if I had been known by ... name in comparison to if any hinting had occurred or if any simply just staring and wishing I would recognize such even after having been told of the after effects from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury and/or extended details. I can only speak in truth and while I learned some prefer to hint, I have not hidden how I can only speak in truth and whatever words spoken to me are what I respond to compared to what might be wished for in order to go along with a hinting situation which only causes problems because of misinterpreting the signals which might be wished for to be picked up compared to simply just getting to the point and not wasting anyone's time.

How difficult is it to answer a question honestly or speak in truth honestly, for others? For myself it is extremely simple whether in regards of explaining the portions in a discussion, writing from my perspective if not stated is as a metaphor or if not stated as a fiction story or if not stated as a fiction fantasy story as per stating clearly is such on the cover and in the section of the book store library I had designated. For example, if the books were put in the autobiography section that means it is an account from my perspective or a PG-13/PG-17 rating for those who know of such. Another example is if the books were put into the children's section, they are meant for children to read with and/or without their parents as per appropriate ages to read or are a G-rated movie in book format which was where books began as then later to movies and back and forth for some aspects in certain ways; which can see how certain aspects can relate in some ways in a more multifaceted aspect. Another reference would be in putting such into science fiction category, for a science fiction book set up for those categories. There is the adult aspect in the fiction erotica portion, though would mean writing only as a fiction erotica book series just as all the other prior books though in a fiction format. The same in reference to the legal section of books, and/or the section category for traveling and/or adventure. Thus, the categories were easily and purposefully put into place for the larger safety aspect however the reality of such being released as had been as seen online without knowing whether or not such specifics were done by the claim regarding the yahoo mail purge; however the lack of concern if one person in a lifestyle community and/or group did not care or take into consideration such safety precautions required for such a release choice in that regard added needlessly to the problems my son and my daughter and I were already dealing with while I was in the Seattle Tacoma areas of Washington state, to which what does that let you know about the type of person you have been to those in your life when taking such a choice into consideration? That was not only illegally done as well as immoral, however it also had the aspect of not taking into consideration all of the prior assaults and abuses I already had dealt with on my own which in turn you were blaming and shaming the victim though survivor of.

Remember my biological mother, biological father, biological sister joked about their nickname for me as the victim of child abuse that I had survived.

What does that in turn mean of yourself and those who you have been around for such a choice in regards of each type and each level in such books which had already been done before you regarding the books in such ways, as you did not know who I had been the whole time to begin with when making such a choice. If the non-challenge was seen as a challenge as to trying to be better than my now dead-ex-husband in regards of choosing for the worst in comparison to choosing for the better, that was your choice as to which path you took such a non-challenge. However still, whoever released such aspects you were not thinking about prior to my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury time frame to which in turn one person individually who would wish such harm and destruction not only for me though for my son and my daughter as well as each community level thereof meant you chose your own destruction in such groups and locations and what occurred thereafter such a choice when I had said that in person at a few events before ever writing such. Your choice to listen only to the minimal words heard means the reality of what you chose to be a part of in the ways of which while you might think you are anonymous, you also do not know who had seen you doing as your choice had been when taking into consideration of the other portions thereof.

I only have written online in social media aspects in reference to the realities in my life and if there ever was a specific metaphor for a specific individual and/or a specific group, similarly to my book categories of my works would then mean in turn I would specifically state your name and/or group while writing my opinions; however the opinions as per what you should have been more intelligent enough to know was to look outside of just the one area of a posting, instead of having horse blinders around your eyes the entire time because of your particular biases. Thus if in the BDSM community and stealing such intellectual property rights would you think that would make who a slave in such regards, because then when the realization of not being able to have anything of this world to partake of without my works of multitude then what is who which makes what in such a capacity in reference to such a try regarding such. That does not come out of dishonesty when in truth the ability for not needing to prove oneself from another's (non-)challenge though to be able to do so on one's own without the specifics of another thereof, whose schedule revolved around who would be the next portion thereof to ponder such a question; though also what was that difficult in your life compared to my life to where you simply needed to and need to simply, just let it go.

If you are a fe/male then does that make you a slave trader in reference to the portion of releasing all of the books for the download, in comparison? If you are in the United States of America as well as most of the world and should be as such, I thought slave trading was an illegal crime. What type of trader would do so within their own community or communities in such regards, and who would then be doing the best for who in such aspects comparatively? Who wanted to bind everyone together into one group or one label, and who wanted people to speak for themselves in truth? Who wanted to teach people to be able to help others compared to who wanted the mandarin way of a large amount of without any direction and/or organization, comparatively? If you feel you have to convince yourself through forcing a situation to be watched or looked at in comparison, then what does that mean in reference to your capacities?

I give the choice of free will while informing of the realities thereof if not heeding such warnings or advice or suggestions, however taking such a choice away from those who would be able to regulate in their own ways without stealing the information would be far different than such a free will choice as to paying for such. You took their choice away as to how they would pay for such in my opinion, and payment to some is not necessarily the payment to others to which free will is important.

Nonetheless as the situations continued back in 2013 into 2014, the male figure I saw in the CRV continued shining and changing colors while seeing him and as per the ways of which seemed important the most to document such aspects noticed unknowing of whether or not the portions of were ever important as to the lack of response which would have actually made sense to me. However that problem has been a situation for far too long to which I wonder why I ever bothered to be quite honest as how many ever had believed me before in truth as to the requirement for truth spoken to me, as per my need for such truth if you actually care to speak with me. Why would anyone assume simply because of being involved with the lifestyle that automatically meant I was as how you were in the lifestyle in your ways, as I am me and you are you; thus why would anyone who has demanded for others to be accepting of other people of whichever group or type ever demand such, while how could they keep forgetting to be as accepting as they have demanded of others?

I simply had kept to myself the entire time while still being myself as per working through various situations at such times to which my choice to keep such a view in mind regarding the words from my biological father saying he believed if you moved to a new place and the problems which were in the old place followed you around, then the problems which followed you around are your problems to deal with in such a discussion. I had realized maybe such words had a few different portions of which to pay more attention to in regards of a more overall while specific way, as the reality of such was in truth in many ways. Though the discussion also went through the details of which for certain situations as to what was more appropriate than in other situations regarding such aspects thereof, to which discretion is always important and thus the realization as to more occurred during such times such as finding the benefits of medical marijuana for the after effects from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury as well as to work through the various situations regarding my life to be able to go out to spend time with others as the THC helped far more than the CBD; however the electrical portions of which added to such regards due to the situations involved as well, as the CBD was good for the topical only for me in comparison to the THC for ingesting to assist through the volcano which assisted me far better than the e cigarettes because of the proximity of the electrical currents for such compared to through an e cigarette. I know myself, as I have explained time and time again and while just as with certain times of social media portions of postings in smaller ways of a larger aspect there has been the portions to which the cross-referencing of proper timeframe of information compared to the smaller aspects in the comparison to the larger aspects which in turn the larger aspects lose the smaller aspects when the details are not paid attention to in the correct ways for the larger aspects.

In turn the ways to which of simply believing if that is the way to believe as to if apparently such was viewed as a challenge the challenge to be better in person as well as online in truth, would technically be that aspect thereof.

At a point just before the time of Halloween I had admitted to Jason despite not wanting to though feeling the need to discuss such with him, as to the medical benefits of medical marijuana. I had not told him of the only stock market option I had chosen to go in for was the medical marijuana as I thought when purchasing the stock that meant for all sorts of the aspects thereof, because of knowing the vastness of what would be able to come from such portions throughout the entirety of the assistance which medical marijuana could assist with. I did not know how the stock market worked in honesty, though I thought if I was going to go all in as when at a poker table with the 5 cards on the table and the two in the hand meant the same thing for the stock market; though when looking up the stock market for the steele industry in the American aspects thereof because of knowing the requirement for proper building materials for the regulations when POTUS45 was running and had earned the election, I knew the election for the 2020 timeframe needed a bit of time before getting into the same pattern as before regarding too much at one time can lead to a problem which meant I chose not to look into any stocks or any specifics because of seeing different areas which needed to get the work taken care of instead of only looking at the financial aspects because while it is important to maintain the sustainability of the finances in the same regard so too in reference to the building materials for such construction. The short term frustrations regarding such to get into the proper location for the correct amount of repair to fix the problems correctly more swiftly than once may have been thought previously, to be able to move forward in a better way regarding the foundational aspects to ensure the longer portions for the length of time as I did not like the KB Homes attitude regarding how they were proud to build 7 house in 7 days. I asked them what would be the point for such if their structures would crumble within 10 years for that type of construction, which the staff laughed at me when I brought up such information. I had already dealt with the foundation crack situation prior to them putting up the framework for that 2 story house which I refused to purchase and had to fight for my deposit money back because when I showed them the pictures of what their construction workers had done regarding using mails to pierce through electrical cords in the wall in comparison to stapling such to the area meant their construction workers were taking too many shortcuts needlessly, though the KB Homes group did not care about what I had pointed out. The framework which was at different angles for the doorways showed the unlevel measurements which I was told they were not a big deal to pay attention to and removing such a frame to replace would be easy if I would be calmer about their decisions, which I brought up how the construction work in New Jersey is required for such building codes and they tried saying that because I was looking to live out in the country area that meant that it was not as important to me for the safety; which I fully disagreed, and their staff continued with their sexist behaviour as even the females had bought into such tactics. I informed them I was not going to ever be a willing participant and if I was correct as to Ray Ellison regarding the Kaufman and Broad or now the KB Homes to just KB due to all of the lawsuits, maybe it was time for that company to rethink their strategies to actually build correct and worthwhile homes instead of what they were producing. I was told by their staff they did not like my attitude which I told them, I did not like how they and their company seemingly did not care about the actual quality of their houses in comparison to the quantity they were making.

By the way for those of you who received a piece of paper, that company makes it mandatory to have a Homeowners Association and I was able to get my deposit back to go buy a house in Pheasant Creek subdivision and what problems occurred immediately upon moving in? Since it has been noticed as to how those particular properties have gone as to how the overall situations have been for the continued renaming of that type of work, possibly maybe if hypothetically those groups associated with might want to take a look and step back for a moment to see exactly how their builders and groups thereof have shown themselves as how their company has built houses and has had to constantly do a quick fix in comparison to simply starting out to build something that actually would last and stand throughout the tests of time; which the same in reference to apartment buildings and complexes, as well. If they are willing to live in one of their own built houses randomly picked out without any pre-knowledge as to which house to live in and if they are on a continued basis through a lottery sort of system without any possibility for being weighed down for that drawing to be pulled, then I can see the quality as can others as well as the reasons why.

I was going to speak with Pam about such though the situations continued as such had to the point of which the final portions came and the requirement to move out of the apartment complex to go upwards towards Tacoma Washington, as I could not handle going towards Alaska as was said regarding such and knowing I needed to keep doing the best I could at such aspects thereof. I later met a female while working to find a place to live who was in a wheelchair who had brought up how she had been surrounded by US Marshalls when she was writing a book and taken into custody without any explanation as she thought it was a funny way to be able to explain to me what I already knew was going on as the same female who said she lived in Spokane Washington with the discussion about her autistic daughter at the Denny's in Spokane was the same female who had been seen at the Homestead Crosslands in Tacoma across the the Ming's Palace restaurant, which knowing I had discussed writing a book from years ago about several aspects and knowing my background; why would anyone I knew ever have thought whatever they thought of me, and quite frankly what did it ever matter to begin with? I suppose if you had something to hide such as an association with Phillip Omstead and had not met in person though were into such a spell of the internet to be owned by only seeing what you saw online in comparison to whatever aspects compared to in person in real life, what lies did Phillip Omstead tell you in regards of such aspects as would be able to be learned regarding others who had met him in person in the various locations he had been at? If I am hypothetically correct regarding a female who apparently lost her mind as per what Phillip Omstead had said regarding the way the female who was only an online type of individual as per description from Phillip Omstead, others would have more details regarding the larger situations thereof from such times and having seen him in 2018 if accurate at the Econo Lodge trying to play a guitar outside of the hotel room near the empty dried up fountain; looking back to such times to the 2016 situation referencing the EconoLodge and Denny's when on my way back to Tacoma Washington in Spokane, if the same area for such to those who were not taught manners in person and had not learned such for in reference to online then what is the ways to which how such would be and how would such need to be handled in such an area? Ironically Farnsworth had a marker not far from Spokane Washington, which that is an ironic twist in quite a few ways when thinking about such other ironies.

Nonetheless the regards to those who would have seen how if noticed regarding Jason and discussions to actually being interested in him and if such in reference to your noticing hypothetically of such in regards of him towards me at such a time, why was your life so clustered as to get in the way in comparison to fixing your own internal situations instead of projecting upon to others what you yourselves need to work on within yourselves? I still do not know what was said by Jesse into the apartment complex leasing office at such times in 2014, however since it was discussed as to my life and my involvement with the lifestyle communities at one point in time in more of a discussionary sort of aspect in comparison to actually getting involved with many people in such ways and only when feeling as though the right time and comfortable enough to do so; there are those who can attest to how long some situations had took to be able to get to such a point, and whether or not the length of time if honest was worth such. If honest I would guesstimate the levels would be more preferable in comparison to other such situations and those which had chosen otherwise would have such portions to such as well, which in turn in regards of if such movement across the lines of the state of Texas after having been in Arizona and having been told about others who have traveled across the country to go to events as per the adult lifestyle; then it would not be a surprise to if such were to have occurred regarding such movements, however were those choices you had done in truth or were they done in slithering and sneaky sorts of ways to try to do something nefarious compared to simply doing what best I could to live and move forward to survive in a more beneficial way in truth? Which group of individuals would have a specific type of followers who would be offended as to what my opinions are and would not care about what the outer circumstances were for me because of Her specifics as to which individuals She would only be a part of, and what sorts of situations would such types of individuals be willing to do for such aspects thereof regarding such a particular aspect within the lifestyle and why? Yet at the same time, what would be the exact aspect as to wanted for so long and the group which was initially created for such though because of the response in comparison to waiting to actually get to an actual meeting arranged in person; why would anyone expect the situations to have gone any differently than they had, if hypothetically any single or unattached through monogamous relationship submissive type without any children for such a specific type of lifestyle would respond in such ways which would not ever knowingly impact them in such regards? Why would anyone think if there are those who can see such aspects as to who would be in plain sight and know each detail thereof, though would not see the same way as a Mom or a female and why? What would that take to actually reign in the situations which would be viewed as little compared to the realities thereof to actually see the more clear aspects for such, or would the aspects of not seeing in person as much and only seeing in person when the time allowed in conjunction to what only was posted online be considered as the only sources of information compared to the much larger aspects?

How can one desire to have something and yet overlook certain aspects for such yet at the same time yearn for such an aspect while wanting to maintain a specific known view and yet hope for such to actually be though wish to reject such at each possible turn, thinking in one way while pondering in a different way? What if the main aspects were online compared to the aspects of living in the real outer world for experiences because of whichever aspects thereof, and what if there was only one when moving along to see who had only spoken and/or written truth however so done regarding a multitude of aspects? How can such be seen to reference to internal conflicts seen within society while looking at online to then think about the teachings and then wonder, while hoping for a beacon of light which shines forth to bring such different aspects into the light to clarify more if possible?

I noticed more recently, it is a good thing to see more support groups available and resources to help with different aspects.

There are ways I can joke in reference to the ceiling medallions I painted which I did speak about with the male from the Ugly Duckling Houses Company regarding to the dining room area when explaining to him what I needed to do in comparison to the larger aspects of the in depth situation at the time of, as the meeting in the General's office with the Colonel had not been discussed as some might know or understand as to why when in San Antonio Texas at such times in 2008. That Colonel and his 2 aides had the best symbolism for such a time for what I was dealing with and would soon deal with regarding the information they were told overseas with people in person overseas compared to the information told to them from the individuals in other areas with the United States of America in the various branches and division of while also having the information given to them when getting back on the soil of the United States of America including the information regarding the General just before the meeting itself, which those three males would be the ones of which the ironic aspects of the Angel meeting the three shepherds in a different context in a modernized aspect thereof as how would shepherds back in those times have responded in comparison to then to the times in 2008. Those 3 males on their own regarding the 3 different ranks of with the Major General Gillman had been able to however so discuss the overall portions of what occurred, as the military police were able to see on the monitors as to the event itself, as the technology companies associated with thereof through the government contracting saw when they saw on the way upward to see such to then get what information they could for such a situation at the time prior to my need to move to Carrollton Texas for my son #Letters4James and my daughter #Letters4Lidia to get time with Grandpa Nichols for as long as I could make possible for such times for the best possible way for them. I felt I had failed back then when unable to convince for the Bronze Star aspect to be able to square that away properly though I knew there was more to such, and continued onward until the time when it could be squared away properly and the graven marker would be taken down for the replacement with the correct information would be correctly taken care of.

I had not thought about the possibilities until more recently of Jason speaking with how I wound up in Washington state from the Cowboys Dance Hall situation as if that had been brought up in the Velvet Rope the one of only 3 times he had ever gone to the Velvet Rope and had only been once additional to the time in Dallas at The Sanctuary in 2013 before the helicopter and train sounds occurred with the blinding light beam from the helicopter, I was not informed as to such if that had ever been a thought or a possibility in mind regarding such as it would have been an aspect to which I could have been interested in at such a time though the situations were as such were. However acknowledging such if was ever a thought at such times the reality of the surrounding situations regarding both aspects in reference to his side and such additional surrounding situations as well as what was going on in my side, it would not have been an ideal timing portion as per the overall aspects at such times in 2013 or even onward to the times into 2018 and 2019 if I had ever came across his mind at any such times. Then again I also do not know how such would have been viewed when beginning my Medal of Honor Art Project or the finalizing of my books for publishing the FSL portions which I had begun typing at the Crystal Creek Apartment complex, while also emailing about the situations after months of seeing the male figure glowing in that CRV which was like Emily Hinjosa's CRV she had when I was living in Pheasant Creek subdivision and she had gone through as she had gone through regarding however such a situation had been between her and my dead-ex-husband which she knew of the abuses from his words as well as my words explaining such though he had purchased for her a set of earrings and a necklace with the ruby stone with white bezel cut diamonds set in gold which he showed me to try to make me jealous of who he had not officially told me he was going to give them to for her birthday. I warned him not to get involved with a married couple and I did tell Arnold about the set at a point in time, though such aspects were as such aspects were as no one had ever officially ever told me if they had seen a picture I had posted online when in person except for one time at a ClubFEM event which Cenna had mentioned a comment about the makeup another female makeup artist had done for the photo shoot at the time to which when looking through I thought of other makeup ideas to make for myself while working with the modeling aspects thereof as it was similar to my makeup for the 2010 Temple of Flesh Uniform Fetish Ball Star Spangled Banner Routine I created. In comparison to the makeup which had been done for other portions later on to that time as she was referring to the Dallas photoshoot in 2011 at the airport which was a different makeup artist from another photoshoot at the motorcycle group location, though most other times for individual modeling I had created my own makeup for and only with one photographer was it in part him doing makeup for the white aspects back then though all other makeup was done by my creation adding one black dot otherwise it was all me creating my own makeup designs and outfits as only a few clothing options were done by him at the times of. However how some chose to photoshop if they added anything or the like to such, I also cannot say what that portion would have been for such times as to how others chose to change such pictures of mine and/or others' pictures and/or videos.

However while such regarding the portions of when writing up the situations as well as the photo albums and learning of picture albums being thrown out without the pictures being taken out for what I had arranged for the ability to get digitized for myself and my son and my daughter learned of until in January 2014 when James confessed to doing so because of the situations being worked through at such times, I did the best I could to remain calm and not cry too much about such as the ironic portions of the leaks in the water pipes continued on throughout such times regarding the aspects of holding back to be strong enough to make sure everything was taken care of while not denying such though moving through such portions of one step at a time. I knew he was upset because of the pictures with his sister at the time and he did not know of the meaning of how much because of the amount of situations surrounding to which he and I had discussed and he knew he was not aware of how much those pictures meant not only to myself though for him and his sister, which I continued being a Mom as best as I could and pushed forward with the writings as needed for the clarifications as best as I could forward.

The situations which I wrote of on facebook about the pain levels were in reference to the electrical zapping going on at the times at a point which the surges were not as painful to be able to write such at those times, as the lack of words for what was occurring at the time for a bigger aspect referencing the situations regarding the technology situations in reference to Gook Squad as well as Best Buy had been already explained by then. Thus if it was important it was important, though hopefully actually enough for such though I suppose in some ways in retrospect. I am thankful even though I cannot get into the account because of not being able to remember the password and having a different phone number for the email account associated as I last remembered from when in the state of Texas as well as in Arizona; I hope for the best, which hopefully is such.

This being the eve of Independence Day 4th of July 2021 and the ironic aspects for such prior situations combined for this particular day such as the additional portion of the male figure chuckling about the American Flag with the New Jersey flag being staked at the top of my patio, I can laugh in some ways about the USS?USNS New Jersey boat if that is the case regarding the facts of Jason being told and figuring out the stolen valor aspects before I had though being in an area of which would look as a building version to the deck of a boat.

It would be ironic if he knew about the USS/USNS General Hoyt S. Vandenberg SCUBA Dive I had done and him having been in the Navy branch, though additionally ironic as to that male figure screaming Nottingham at points in time and though we were in the Untied States of America the irony of having been Maiden Marion regarding Robin Hood which his backstory was he was the son of the Sherriff of Nottingham before falling in love with Maiden Marion to save her from the situation of being kidnapped and whatever sort of etcetera aspects thereafter such as. It would be a funny irony as I did not want to be Maiden Marion, and that aspect of General George Washington name regarding in Washington state is still is amusing as the male who had been cast as Robin Hood in Crystal Lake South High School seemed as shy and modest as I had actually been the whole time and how such situations had been regarding such a time in school.