I have only been able to get back to my home state a few times since having been moved as a teenager from #NJ #NewJersey New Jersey to #Illinois Illinois, and then after fighting to be emancipated as a 17 year old to join the #USArmy #Army Army branch of the #USA #USAArmedForces #USAAF United States of America Armed Forces #ArmedForces; after attempting to get into the #MAST Marine and Science Technology School with the #USNavy #Navy Navy attachment when I was in 8th grade going into 9th grade, due to a nightmare vision I had since I was in 2nd grade.
A male name Ian Ginsburg or Ginsberg had drawn a cartoon character he called #bartSimpson Bart Simpson which when I asked who he was drawing next to another character named #llisaSimpson Lisa Simpson as he told me, I dealt with not knowing what the reference was in the class at Asher Holmes Elementary School as per the show apparently being on after what was considered as my bedtime. While most had not had such childhood restrictions when they were growing up in the ways which I had dealt with and to the levels of which the ways as to how many restrictions were needlessly put on me as well as the needless additional pressure put on me as a child such as cooking, cleaning, laundry, as well as church duties because of my biological mother and biological father being a Deacon and a Trustee at #OTC #oldTennentPresbyterianChurch #OTPC Old Tennent Presbyterian Church; the level of responsibilities I had by the time I was in 2nd grade, were beyond what any child should have to deal with in several aspects. In turn I did the best I could for both of my children as my son and my daughter had far less to take care of as their main childhood responsibilities had been to keep their rooms clean, put their laundry in the basket for me to take care of, do their homework, and be respectful until they were older. Though I did not mind the responsibilities of taking care of my dog a half #Collie Collie and a half #Husky Husky named A for short, AWOL for the Navy term as per the reasons why he became my dog, and Anubis for the name which I personally chose for him, none of the other children in #AsherHolmesElementary #AsherHolmesElementarySchool #AHES Asher Holmes Elementary School or other schools ever had the slightest inclination as to the levels of which I was dealing with as a child; though knowing their own lives were as however they had presented such in school, I knew some had similar situations somehow as per the feelings I had picked up energetically for some.
When in 5th grade and having been out of school with Mono, Epstein-Bar, Lyme Disease, Bronchitis, and the Flu all at the same time; whatever was told to the children in school when I was out of school sick from such, was whatever they were informed of. However the class I was in during the time, I had scratched behind my ear and a tick with a large grey blood sack had fallen out of where I had scratched from behind my ear onto the table. Those who know how children are in such references, know how the overall reaction from the class had been when I was in class during the time. If I recall correctly I was in 4th grade when that had occurred, though in 5th grade is when everything had come around and when I had been out of school for the amount of time I had been out of school; which even though my pediatrician had recommended I to be hospitalized because of my temperature being over 105 degrees when at Asher Holmes Elementary School, my biological mother thought it would be a waste of money to send me to the hospital for treatments and preferred the cost of a bi to tri weekly nurse to check on me at the house as well as administer the medications. However she also saw such as an opportunity to get my biological father out of his jewelry and watch business as she did not see anything respectful about his honest work after having earned the certification from the #SchoolofBulova #Bulova School of Bulova as well as the ability to certify gemstones while also being able to work on #Rolex Rolex/#Seiko Seiko/#movado Movado/other such higher end watches to keep the warranty for such, and preferred him to get a college degree so he would be able to do the medical work out from the house in the similar sort of manner; which I personally disagreed with, even though I was already sick at the time.
By the time after Thanksgiving though before Christmas that year in 5th grade, Asher Holmes Elementary School had my 2nd Grade teacher Mrs. LaPianna go to the house to tutor me at the house to prevent me from falling behind in my schoolwork as it was impossible for me at the time to stay awake longer than a few minutes to at most an hour at the initial time of. I remember by the time spring came around Mrs. LaPianna asked me what was wrong when I was at the house after a few situations regarding my left arm and the collapse of a vein because of the medication situation from an individual who had shown up when my biological father was speaking with the female nurse in the front yard area, which later that male apologized and administered the counter drug to undo what was possible for the situation; though that vein had not ever been able to be the same size afterwards because of what damages were incurred from the initial dosage of what was injected. Later after waking up from my coma from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury when I began getting my tattoos to do what was possible to help my memories, I had a tattoo completed to cover the vein area to prevent any IVs from being tried in that arm in that area additionally to the tattoo meaning, as per the amount of times prior which had been excruciating to put an IV into because of the situation from when I was in 5th grade. I could not explain the the medical professionals at the time as whether having to do with the memory deficits and/or having to do with having to explain in verbal words as to what occurred to me when I was in 5th grade, as the amount of times I had to defend myself from the various threats to my life and attacks thereof had been far too many to count by the time of getting to high school. as so few had ever believed me after I woke up from my coma about the aspects of how I had gotten my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury including within the United States of America's Armed Forces Army branch though the irony as to the amount of civilians who refused to believe me up to such points in time, by the time of beginning my tattoos after my hairstyle and hair color is another number I could not count high enough for as to how few believed the truth from me.
By the time of 2013 in #WA #Washington #washingtonState Washington state, I had given up thinking there would ever be anyone who actually believed me other than my son and my daughter which even they were having difficulties regarding others believing them about the truth of such situations in an overall sort of way. My last and final hope was to go forward with publishing my ideas referencing a book series I had talked about making years before which I had worked on and was able to get a semi-acceptance for in 2011, however because o the disagreement regarding my choice for the name of the books I was going to write in the color order of the rainbow; there was the dissolution of the agreement, due to the timeframe with Tye Publishing. The irony after the initial portions of discussions and the timing of Irving a to having sent such emails back and forth regarding the aspects of, I suppose as per the year.
Nonetheless in such aspects when November 2014 came around and I had sent the first two books for the #LibraryofCongress Library of Congress registration at first portions of such registrations, I had hoped such would be a great impact to help many because of hoping the ability to bring such forward would be more helpful. I had not thought anyone would be much different than prior, though I had hoped for the best possible outcomes as I knew the situations overall even if in smaller ways; could possibly be relatable, though more-so hoped such would be helpful regarding the aspects of as I knew my son and my daughter and I could not be the only ones in such experiences and such suggestions would be possible to bring forward better times to work towards the best. After being able to get out to the east coast in December 2020 for the Bethlehem Star, I could not deny the requirement for myself to get out to the east coast. When the 6 January 2021 event was more well known, I knew from such a time I needed to move out from the state of Texas; to which I requested the information to be able to transfer, yet the process was delayed needlessly due to the apartment complex as well as the apartment complex management company. In March 2021 I went on a trip out to the east coast which upon returning to the state of #TX #Texas Texas and refusing to deal with the energetic portions, I extended my time for my trip because of the portions thereof as the amount of time it was taking to get the information from the employees from the apartment complex and I was not willing to be within those areas because of the feelings of the energetic portions I was picking up. Their ploy as to whatever the situation was, I refused to take part in such childish seeming games; as the problems which I needed to take care of for myself, were not needed for those people's explanations as they were not needing to know such portions in any official capacity. It was not their information to deal with, it has been for my requirements as well as others within the east coast region in comparison. While they might have some who have connections and/or are from the east coast if so, then they can think about the amount of time which was wasted in reference to the time from the 30 day mark to the time it took to get my transfer process completed to actually move into the new location; as well as any and all additional time referencing to what could have been worked on from such, including any and all such portions thereafter the transfer process from their choices to needlessly restrict what was not theirs to legally do so as per my Blue Identification card of the United States of America's Armed Forces. While the aspects as to what I had requested confirmation in response to begin in reference to others in regards of my Medal of Honor Art Project were not responded to in such a manner, I was not able to move forward with such as per the official response required referencing such because of the requirement due to the nature of my #MedalofHonorArtProject #MedaloofHonorArtProjectByReverendSusanMeeLing #MoHAP #MoHAPBRSML Medal of Honor Art Project. There is a specific difference as to the aspects thereof to which when the no answers occurred in conjunction as to other such situations, the official time for such similarly to going out to the #USSVandenberg #USNSVandenberg #Vandenberg USS/USNS General Hoyt S. Vandenberg for the second #SCUBA #SCUBADiving #SCUBADive SCUBA Dive for such a similar request of response due to specifically my Blue Identification card of the United States of America's Armed Forces; meant I had to move onward with other aspects via the contingencies put into place, well before the contacts were sent out for such portions thereof.
While the time was not officially wasted as per other situations which were able to be brought forward into the light regarding the clarifications thereof in other such connectionary points in regards as to the treatment of people with direct connection to the Armed Forces of the United States of America within the state of Texas as per the timing in reference to my daughter and my son being in elementary school and the board meeting situations in addition to the #FWZoo #FortWorthZoo Fort Worth Zoo as to how such times had been from 2009 through 2013 more specifically, at minimum more people have been able to see the proof as well as find such proof regarding the situations and how such had been handled or treated regarding such aspects I had brought forward and explained in "Finding A Silver Lining By: Susan MeeLing". In turn the problems and situations of me having properly been taken seriously about the array of aspects as well as the etiquette thereof within the state of Texas including the situations within the overall SCUBA Diving community and the lack of seriousness within the recreational aspects of the SCUBA Diving community to such aspects as to my SCUBA Diving style, would easily be able to be seen as per however such responses has been regarding any/all such postings as well as writings I have created regarding the more in depth information thereof; of which any who had disbelief anyone within the state of Texas and/or within the SCUBA Diving aspects in the recreational SCUBA Diving areas, would be able to see such portions as well as such reactions during such times however they chose to respond and/or post about such. While it would not surprise me if there were those who had wished the current depth levels of the water areas which once were deeper, the known topographical map changes in conjunction with the geographical changes as per the heat index rising with the construction around the areas to lessen the amount of water within the state of Texas; in conjunction with the rising sea levels which means the pushing out of what water was there, while constricting the state of Texas' land mass as the rising waters in the oceanic areas to add additional pressure to the continental shelf areas around the United States of America would additionally naturally push the lower levels of the continent together upward and thus additionally reduce the depth levels of the water within the areas I had earned 23 of my 26 SCUBA Diving certifications because of such massive geographical changes below the surface of the land as well as below the surface of the waters whether fresh or salt water, as I would not think it took a head injury to figure such portions out regarding such aspects thereof. However possibly it does take those individual 26 SCUBA Diving certifications I personally earned, to be able to explain such aspects thereof in Layman's Terms for non-SCUBA Divers of my style of SCUBA Diving; which is ironic for the point of starting at the 27th day for a countdown to the 11 September 2021 twenty year memorial anniversary beginning officially at the 27th day out from, in regards of earning 26 SCUBA Diving certifications.
However while I had been excited while admittedly forcing myself to go to New Jersey in December 2020 on my own, the processing of such is beginning to sink in now being able to have transferred to where I knew I needed to be since January more officially in 2021; though I felt the pull during the time for the Bethlehem Star alignment, just as I felt the pull during the #SolarEclipse #SolarEclispe2017 #SolarEclipse17 Solar Eclipse in 2017 which ironically occurred around the timing of my birthday in 2017. As I was just about to turn 16 years old when I was moved from New Jersey to Illinois in a few months from the time of the move itself, I can reference sarcastically as to the timing of the solar eclipse year of 17 regarding the additional ironic portion as to the coinky dink of almost turning 16 years old at such a timeframe in 1998 which of course most know as to when turning 18 years old one does not need a parental consent in reference to joining the Armed Forces of the United States of America. I recall one day back when Ian Ginsberg was drawing such on the medium shaded wooden table in his notebook the characters he told me what the names were, I asked if he was going to draw out some big guns while making a silly attempt to play with the wording as per how I had been regarding word puns as to my dorkiness; when he looked up towards me when I was standing and he laughed, asking why I would think he would draw that for those characters. In such a failed attempt to explain such verbally as per my shyness, I had started going over the aspects as to the syllables as well as the spelling portions while also remembering certain aspects which I could not discuss the details of; though I suppose at this point the more well known aspects as to my Grandpa Gavett, The #BBB #BigBlueBook Big Blue Book or the #BlueBookProject #BBP Blue Book Project paperwork from such times as to the notations from my Grandpa Gavett in comparison or I suppose I should write as to some aspects which were official reports for though were considered needing the exclusion for those reports in comparison, as some know more details of as to why such situations would be referencing certain details in regards of.
Admittedly at the time of knowing Asher Holmes Elementary School students such as Ian, the thought of any being able to know of such during the timeframe was minimal in certain regards; though later in 2015, I had sent Ian a signed copy of my first two books though with a personalized writing in the back as I had done with each of for specific individuals as feeling the requirement for such as there was an energetic picking up as to why such was needed in different ways. The color choices for the signature areas as well as the writings themselves in highlighter markers seemed appropriate, as especially in reference to those who I knew in school of whichever ones; it seemed the need for the vibrancy in colors was required, for whenever they were receive the books. I cannot explain as to why I felt it was needed even now, though whatever such portions were felt in such aspects as to the brightnesses thereof regarding the colorations seemed appropriate. In reference more specifically to Ian's books, it seemed ideal because of remembering him drawing the characters as well as the coloration of the shirt he was wearing the day I mentioned regarding the drawings he was making; as in an oddity in some ways, I thought briefly I had seen an older version of someone who reminded me of him when in Montana at Little Bighorn when I was there picking up one of my historical and spiritual rubbings near the pyramid which was ironic in other ways as per the hairstyle I remembered him having from Asher Holmes Elementary School including a bit of similar colorations thereof with a slight amount of grey.
While I can comment about the confusion as to high schoolers as well as middle schoolers and elementary schoolers having thought of love so early on in life, I can remember having a little faery sized crush on Ian back in the day; as the artistic aspects as to what I saw from him at the time, was much different than what I was noticing in other areas and other ways. While I later had seen the reference he was discussing that day regarding the television show called The Simpsons, I was not allowed to watch the show because of the rating as well as the bedtime portions. His drawings did look like some of the portions of the show, though at the same time different in their own ways as to the ways as to the points in the hair as well as the ways which the clothing had fit compared to the small amount I had seen. His spiral notebooks on the back cover as well as the front cover was curious to me, as the amount of paper within the notebooks was more than enough for him to be able to use for the drawings and it seemed odd to work on such difficult surfaces for the drawings; yet at the same time seeing the materials making such to be able to draw the details of with the shading aspects, added a different depth to what he was drawing as it did not seem the same as the cartoons I had seen in the reference of the show. He had always been more quiet than the majority of the males in the various classes over the years which one year in elementary school around the time of 5th or 6th grade, I was excited running into school as I thought I found something in common with him after so much time from the oddities of seeing #TheSimpsons The Simpsons show characters as to the drawings. When in class as excited as I could get while as nervous additionally I did the best I could to remain calm while being as cool as possible, asking him if he heard of Sailor Moon. He asked me what I was talking about as he was into something along the lines of other shows as well as cartoons or comic books, which I told him all I could about the show I would sneak down the stairs early in the morning to be able to see while my biological parents as well as biological sister were asleep as I thought the premise of the show was interesting as well as funny in its own rights. As dorkily as a child I was and in some ways still am as even though biologically older, I began my schpeil about the details of #SailorMoon #SM Sailor Moon and all of the #SailorScouts #SS Sailor Scouts up to the point in time; chuckling about his hairstyle being like how Tuxedo Mask's hair had been when wearing the white eye mask over his eyes in the cartoon.
As it was a fairly newer show at the time in 1992 or 1993 or 1994 when first able to talk more about the show as per how many episodes I had snuck downstairs to be able to watch and discuss the storyline of, he simply smiled and shook his head putting one of his hands over his face laughing to himself as to my attempts to describe the differences in the drawings of such aspects. That was one show of a small select few which I had to watch other than the #CarmenSandiego #WhereintheWorldisCarmenSandiego #WITWICS #CarmenSandiego Carmen Sandiego show, as per the ways I had been as a child in reference to those who would know of such aspects. I suppose in some odd little ways I can sarcastically make a reference to several similarities regarding a few portions as to such two of my favorites as per the requirements for knowing specific odd details regarding science, geography, mathematical, and other such portions regarding how such situational regards as to Carmen Sandiego being a bit secretive as a special type of female agent wearing her red hat and her red trench coat as her character had traveled around while teaching through a different type of instructional sort of way as to get people to think in different ways. In addition to the aspects as to her being more of a lone wolf sort of secret agent getting such educational points across causing more to think while being inquisitive, I suppose I can sarcastically joke about a few oddities regarding certain character traits of myself in a few ways; especially when taking into consideration my Medal of Honor Art Project trips, as well as the drop off locations across the map. For those who know more of the show, possibly the ironic portions can be more noticeable in comparison to what some may have paid a bit more attention to in reference to Sailor Moon with the Sailor Scouts; though the ironic ties in reference to scouting and portions of the Armed Forces of the United States of America referencing a few different aspects as well, albeit in a different way admittedly. If I recall correctly one female from the Sailor Scouts though also a female I knew in reference to Old Tennent Presbyterian Church and both named Amy, and ironic twist as per Mercury and how the sign for Mercury is for educational messaging aspects and her having become a teacher in areas where the blue water is nearby as well as how much she had been into computers back in the 1990s especially comparatively in addition to her hairstyle and glasses at such times.
However while such aspects are the reality in reference to other portions in reference to the aspects involving how life had gone after I had been moved from New Jersey to Illinois just a few months before my 16th birthday which had been shortly before I would have been allowed to begin dating as per the rules in the house I grew up in as to not being allowed to date until the age of 16 years old as well as the rules which the requirements were to meet both of my biological parents prior to ever going out on any date as was known during the times of, the males who might have ever been interested in such prior to in such times regarding within the state of New Jersey and/or in New York and/or in Pennsylvania during the times of also knew of such portions; which as the females had known of such as well and as some had made fun of me for such portions, I had also explained how protective my biological father had been in such references as to when it came to the time when I would begin such courtships if ever had been a situation in such aspects. Which as it was also known by those individuals as to having had both a Bok Gung as well as a Bok Pu in the northeast coast tristate area, I can make a sarcastic comment about such about the more well known portions of those who have protective parents in reference to the Jewish as well as Italian cultures; however when taking into consideration my biological father, I have explained as to how protective he had been referencing the first born as myself as well. Some had made fun of me for the aspects thereof, however I explained as to knowing the situations which could and would occur if anyone was found to be considered as for others regarding anything considered as less than honorable in referencing the possibilities of what could ever be found in such ways thereof. While some in New Jersey mainly thought I was joking, I had also explained there is truth behind every joke. How are Asians about the eldest, out of curiosity? I am the first born as well as the only one who was raised with the teachings in #Cantonese Cantonese as well as other rearing regarding other aspects, and thus how could some view such portions thereof?
I suppose I can make a joke in reference to a movie I thought was hilarious though at this point possibly a bit odd when thinking about the movie Meet the Parents, though I am unaware as to if my biological father had anything to do with what the father in that movie had been involved with regarding as to the antics thereof. What I can say as well as can write is how I had discussions over the years talked with me about such portions as to how I was not allowed to go to any type of college university school to look for a husband, to which I had kept my word regarding not ever looking for such when in such types of schooling; which includes both in reference to my 26 SCUBA Diving certifications which my biological father was vehemently against me ever dating or being seriously involved with any type of recreational SCUBA Diver as per him having earned his SCUBA Diving certification(s) with the J and the K valves and the same in reference to when I was involved with in #Austin #AustinTX #AustinTexas Austin as well as in #Dallas #DallasTX #DallasTexas Dallas areas of Texas during the times of my classes as well before graduating, from the #DominantMentorProgram #DMP Dominant Mentor Program though beginning in Austin and completing in Dallas.
However with the call felt within the depths of my bones as to the situations involving the east coast regarding the aspects as to my memories from before my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury, going back to New Jersey the first time in December 2020 after having been gone since 1998; the 22+ years, it was and is something of processing which has been heavily weighing upon my shoulders since December 2020. The time in January 2021 added to such weight, which March 2021 was the proverbial straw which broke the proverbial camel's back. I could no longer keep within regarding the aspects as to how much I had needed to get to the east coast, though I had done what I could to remain calm while keeping such aspects bottled up within. I could not begin to express the realities thereof in larger ways as per the energetic portions as similarly referencing to the memories regarding the state of Texas to the recollections thereof, to the similar portions when in Washington state; as to the metaphor for the east coast in the state of Texas for such memories regarding the east coast, when knowing and understanding and comprehending to be in the east coast area. Ironically the transfer if the paperwork was done correctly, in March 2021 would have been the latest the 30 days would have been regarding the requirement for the transfer and the energetic push to get myself to the region along the east coast despite the situations as to not having had the correct information thereof because of the situations involving the apartment complex as well as the apartment complex management company. The choices in such additional references as to the upcoming 20 year memorial anniversary of the attacks on 11 September 2001 as to my nightmare as well as my Blue Identification card of the United States of America's Armed Forces, I repeat the portions as to the situations previously written about after having spoken about in reference to the responsibilities of having earned the Blue Identification card of and for the United States of America's Armed Forces though also repeating the portions referencing the ways certain types of people in the state of Texas having been in the years I had known such individuals at such times; especially in reference to how I had been treated, as well as #Letters4Lidia my daughter and #Letters4James my son as per McCoy Elementary School of Carrollton Texas of Carrollton Farmers Branch Independent School District #CFBISD and the people thereof regarding such aspects including in reference to SCUBA Diving as well as the adult consenting lifestyle communities I once had been a part of in conjunction with other communities and the situations thereof, as unlike for those people my life and my children's lives as well as the lives of those who had graduated Basic Training as well as graduated AIT or equivalent thereof were not a game to me nor anyone else's lives for that matter.
How does one state of people make me not feel wanted in any such way, when thinking about such aspects? Through only being in the way of what is required and needed for myself at this point in time, is a large aspect thereof. How does one state of people make me feel as an unwanted artist, referencing the aspects of the journal blog entry? Through not returning contact referencing such aspects of my Medal of Honor Art Project as well as the aspects as to my paintings, in such situations, in conjunction with how the treatment has been after my as well as during the times of my more active SCUBA Diving as well as the reasons of which I had explained during the years of and thereafter. How does one state of people show such unwanted aspects in such including during the election cycle of 2020, referencing such portions thereof as explained? Not acknowledging having known of my works, though requiring me to explain what hypothetically had already been known wile expecting further payments for what had already been taken care of after the levels of occurrences. How can the truth be so important to some, and yet the truth be held back from me? I suppose in other ways, having such truths fully exposed for more than just myself to see such aspects for the clarification in a larger way for more is a way; despite the levels of which, as knowing I as well as my son and my daughter had not been the only ones regarding such portions.
However as per the ways which I remember after my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury especially, I suppose the ways which the after effects from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury are; having been able to get to where I need to be in order to get to go through various memories from such times, I shall begin with a situation which was from when I had been babysitting a set of two children in the neighborhood that was built behind the house I grew up in with my biological sister and her friends had discussed the details of the housing area because of whatever the signs had said about the houses for the community. Whereas I did not pay attention to the prices until after they had repeatedly brought up the financial aspects, I explained there was not anything of which I considered as important as per the houses not being my houses comparatively. My biological sister and her friends having been over the house at the time which I had to babysit them in the house my biological sister and I were growing up in, they had constantly annoyed me needlessly about the situations. While I have admitted to the sample makeup situations which having admitted such it was to prove to the children as to the view point as to the amount of sample make up aspects in comparison to what their assumptions were about people who had been living in the houses in the neighborhood, ass those children thought just because of the numbers for the houses as to the people having bought the houses outright in cash compared to mortgages. While I made attempts to explain requirements of monthly payments to those children where they were incapable of understanding the financial numbers referencing such aspects ass to what the requirements were for insurance additionally as well as associated bills such as water, trash removal, electricity, and gardening costs as knowing most people in that neighborhood were unable to maintain the garden work for those types of houses and the properties thereof; those three to four friends of my biological sister went on about how they had known of the gardener and pool aspects, because of their moms. When during one instance as to the financial portions I had attempted to explain, the others who had older sisters and/or older brothers discussed their work and having to pay their own bills; though they were unable to understand what work it actually took for such responsibilities, which they had brought up certain similar traits between their siblings to myself which did not make any sense to me personally.
When showing the children the sample make up pieces as to the one parent's makeup aspects and also personally having the knowledge as to how certain males spend little money on their spouses while spending larger amounts of money elsewhere on other females, I did what I could to explain the costs of such as per the ways which my biological father had explained such to me about the jewelry aspects of the differences between the jewelry given to a wife compared to jewelry given to their mistress(es) for such pieces; which annoyed me personally, as er knowing how marriages were supposed to be, as well as the finances which should have been for the wife and the children in my opinion back in such times in the 1990s. Ironically shortly after the neighborhood development began, is when I had dealt with what occurred in 5th grade though such is a different aspect as to such irony; as if I recall correctly the specific house in reference, had been what was the model home for the babysitting or the house next to the model home from the development. While I did not discuss the mistress(es) aspects as to the smaller sample make up aspects which those who have clearer understanding of such is the pre-payment for when the end of the relationship occurs as there is not the ability for a divorce settlement the way there is for the wife just as there is not any recourse per such aspects as per the cheating assistances and thus the jewelry and such are ways which those types of individuals are as per explanations given to me by my biological father from the jewelry portions, because at minimum the way such types look at the aspects of is those individuals involved with assisting in the cheating can pawn off the jewelry to assist whatever bills they have incurred in such times. However due to so many pawn shops as well as the mass production of jewelry over the years, the lack of originality in many designs has grown to become a situation which what once was considered to be able to get a larger amount of finances in such types of locations no longer exists to the same levels as once before. Thus the so-called financial benefits of being a mistress no longer exist the ways of older times, because of the ease to replace the mistress(es) with the growing portions online for such aspects in my opinion.
Nonetheless those three to four females who were friends of my biological sister had asked me about the jewelry at the house, which I refused to discuss such pieces of the wife's jewelry which I had seen as that jewelry was none of their business as they seemed more interested at first about the makeup portions and knowing how they were acting as per the make up samples; it seemed odd to me about how they were acting, and thus I did not discuss the pieces of jewelry I had seen in such references to that particular house. I had noticed two or three of the four main females who would go over the house I grew up in New Jersey in the business area of my biological father, which I had dealt with being blamed for catching those females going into my biological father's business area regarding the watches and the jewelry which I knew better than to set one foot inside of that area without my biological father's permission because of the high end pieces within the area. Similarly while I had seen the jewelry and the watches regarding that particular house and those people's pieces of such financial costs, I had not brought such details up to those females with my biological sister as something seemed extremely odd in such references back then. I already had personal problems babysitting those people's children knowing I had gotten sick shortly after the initial development phases of the housing development from #CarrolltonHomes #CarroltonHomes #CH Carrolton Homes which was infuriating to me to be in the house, though I tried to convince myself that being able to watch some of the television shows I was not able to watch growing up because of my biological mother and my biological father refusing to pay for cable; as at minimum I could watch some of the #Daria Daria shows, though it was not anything in the longer terms at those times where I saw the benefit as to being in such a location, as the house was not mine referencing the aspects as to what I had personally dealt with because of those types of people's developing company referencing how I had gotten Mono, Epstein-Bar, Bronchitis, Lyme Disease, and the Flu all at the same time at such times. I knew I had gotten sick either because of my biological father's associations, my biological mother's annoyances to others per her work, and/or because of the hosing development company; which in any such case, it disgusted me that I was being paid minimally at such times for babysitting when it was their fault in my opinion for purchasing a house which had if such hypotheticals were accurate back then about the hosing development, as to the lack of a reason for me to ever be working for such types of people who had in either a direct or an indirect way had caused me to deal with such personally needlessly.
While the wife was decent to speak with and the children were okay to a degree depending how those children would inevitably turn out however they would as per their raising and choices thereof, the knowledge of the husband and what type of individual he had been made my skin crawl as to the disgust as to what energetic portions I had picked up from that type of human being in the biological sense only in my opinion; as a human being would not be as disgraceful as what I was picking up energetically from such a so-called human being, at such times. As I had to deal with not only being within the house as well as within the development of that area as per babysitting, at times when babysitting I could not help but to hope as I walked around that house because of what I knew I had dealt with because of those types of people who would be a part of such situations; once again whether directly or indirectly, as per the ways which I knew how such in reference to that development had gone in reference to how the development began in the first place. I could not help myself but to hope severely when seeing certain things when looking out the back window areas and looking to the areas of what was left of the forest areas that I once played within, while seeing what was left of the trees and where the animals which once visited me were able to once live at such times. I saw in disgust as to areas I once had spent time with such animals as per knowing every inch of that once forest area, as per my childhood up to that point; which the ironic aspects as to where that house was near the corner of Yellowwood Road and whatever the side street had been for the first right turn onto the street for the first or second house on the left regarding babysitting at that time for that two story house, which when later I learned of the basements flooding I could not help but to smile to myself referencing such problems for those types of people as well as the developing company as per the situations thereof. I admit I thought how befitting for those people, regarding how they had thought themselves to be above me in comparison; knowing what I personally dealt with, because of their situations. Ironically the summer before #BaptistCampLebanon #BCL Baptist Camp Lebanon and my 13th birthday, I had thankfully been told I did not need to babysit those people's children; though the irony referencing what occurred at such times for the co-ed sleepover at Baptist Camp Lebanon, and the disgust I felt from the husband when he was around me as nothing could ever wash that individual clean enough to ever feel the slightest bit of comfort around that type of a male. I had seen that type of a male before and all I could do at such times, was hope in reference to him personally as well as any such type of male in such regards; which in reference to such, I have described my opinion as to such situations referencing assaults in "Finding A Silver Lining By: Susan MeeLing" regarding those types of assailants. I had already dealt with other situations prior to that time, which in reference to Baptist Camp Lebanon; I was done with all such types of people of that specific grouping thereof, and all I could possibly do at that point was hope for the rectifications as to such aspects in the most specific of ways for such. I suppose in reference to those two children the term sins of the father, is quite appropriate for such marring.
I suppose in a different way the irony in reference to something my biological father had said years ago as to his opinion, "Texas seems to be filled with yellow belly cowards" in regards of what occurred to my daughter, my son, and I. If such is accurate in reference to situations within the state of Texas referencing the father and/or mother in reference to that house and/or neighborhood in regards of Carrolton Homes, I suppose the ironic twists thereof referencing such. Though how pathetic in reference to such as well as to having gone after me beginning at the time of the age of 12 years old to then needlessly continue onward, especially after having been allowed to live and survive after the events of 11 September 2001 and the work I personally had done to safely secure the areas as best as I could in reference to the east coast and especially within the state of New Jersey as well as #NY #NYC #NewYork New York and #PA #Pennsylvania Pennsylvania as well as up and down the east coast and throughout in the United States of America when thinking about such hypotheticals; especially if as usual per such times being wrongly blamed for what others such as my biological sister as well as her friends and her associates had done over such times, in addition to what I had already been dealing with in those years.
Nonetheless as per remembering that male having taken me back to my house in New Jersey after babysitting the first time and removing his hand from my knee before getting to the driveway area and telling my biological mother I did not feel comfortable babysitting those children of that male, my biological mother told me it was important for me to babysit those children because of what she could get done in comparison to my safety which realistically as per other situations at such times when looking back now in 2021 compared to then back in the 1990s the lack of surprise referencing such aspects. I refused to be such as the song of Fancy sung by #RebaMacEntire Reba MacEntire just because she wanted to further her career and when the repeated offenses of such had occurred, I admit taking such make up samples was in hopes of not ever having to be around that male ever again as per the make up samples going missing meant I would not ever have to be involved with such a type of male ever again as the disgust of such a type of male in regards of myself at the time of having been 12 years old despite such situations. I could not care in the slightest about his ego as to what he was able to afford, as he could not afford such a cleansing of those types of situations as per the hatred I have for such types of individuals who would ever make such a move on a child as I as well as others are against pedophilia rightfully so. I did what I could do as best as I could to keep my daughter as well as my son safe as well as kept away from such aspects, as those types of people are vile creatures in my opinion and do not deserve the right to be called human beings in my opinion even if biologically in those ways as per situations in the short as well as the long term effects and consequences thereof. I know such a male would not allow such to occur to his daughter or his son in such aspects which in turn, why would that ever be considered as acceptable to do to others? Though in turn that type of male would teach his children to such ways which the furthered disgust as to any female ever being a part of such would be just as disgraceful if not more-so for a female to willingly be a part of, in my opinion though I doubt I would be the only one.
Through my patterns of behaviours from my childhood into my teenager years into my biological adult years as to how I have carried myself as well as taught my son and taught my daughter while leading by example for others, my patterns of behaviours as to ensure the safety as well as the honesty as to such portions is rampant in various ways. While I may speak oddly at times to be able to conceal certain aspects or speak in ways because of the lack of ability to fully reveal such portions per the ability to bring such forward due to the levels thereof referencing the correct wording for such, in the shorter term such might be confusing though in the short term into the long term the clarity I guesstimate makes more sense especially depending upon the circumstances thereof when the more current times of after my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury after effects have been in such situations and the confusion as to how to explain such in words which are clearer and able to make more sense because of the amount of connections as well as the amount of details being intricately interconnected. The situations referencing the technological portions along the east coast though mainly within the tristate areas down to the state of #VA #Virginia Virginia in the 1980s and 1990s were more well known to many though especially more well known to me personally, because of such portions of the connections. Where now in current times there are those who travel to situations such as South By Southwest or #SXSW SXSW, my biological mother was contracted in ways through #Prudential Prudential to do such contracted traveling for technology portions in the later 1980s and into the 1990s; which she had not informed others as to who was doing certain work, which had been what I had been working on.
Again a favorite cartoon show of mine had been #SailorMoon Sailor Moon of which the technology was more well known in other areas of the world such as #China China and #Japan Japan, which in such times truly fit into the life I had begun. I can sarcastically joke as I had when speaking with Ian when I was a child trying to explain certain portions which had confused him as he thought as close to a multiple personality in comparison to a multifaceted aspect thereof referencing the technology work and study habits of #SailorMercury #Mercury Sailor Mercury, the anger and the spiritual aspects of #SailorMars #Mars Sailor Mars, the protection and seriousness of #SailorJupiter #Jupiter Sailor Jupiter, the open communication with the consistency thereof #SailorUranus #Uranus Sailor Uranus and #SailorNeptune #Neptune Sailor Neptune, the sassiness and movement of #SailorVenus #Venus Sailor Venus, the consciousness and awareness of #Luna Luna with #Artemis Artemis, and the loyalty and the complexities of Sailor Moon for a multifaceted view as to the overall view of aspects for such metaphors regarding how I could see myself in different ways despite being in elementary school at the time of the television show of Sailor Moon; and yet the ways of which Carmen Sandiego had been more well known in reference of such patterns or lack thereof patterns of behaviour, unless you were able to figure such informational aspects out on your own.
I remember later when speaking with Ian and a different individual I had remembered from Asher Holmes Elementary School as well as #MarlboroMiddleSchool #MMS Marlboro Middle School named Ross Albert who I had also sent such books to having been nearby when I was describing such in a detailed portion when in Mr. Lambert's class when we were listening and watching during the #SolarEclipse1994 #SolarEclipse94 Solar Eclipse outside in the back area which the hallway head lead to the playground that day looking over to me when discussing such, and the laughter which erupted in reference to what I was discussing as Ross Albert exclaimed #Beaches "Beaches" which I smiled asking him what he knew about beaches. While it was explained to me about a movie reference in comparison to what I was referring to when responding, I suppose there might be a different reference regarding a song he started singing at the time which the rest of the class looked at Ross quite curiously as to his ability to sing in such ways. Mr. Lambert looked at the group of us telling us to pay attention to the Solar Eclipse and the pieces of paper he had shown us how to make in reference to the ways as to see the Solar Eclipse which had given me an idea referencing how the artwork I was thinking about later on, which became the aspects in some other ways as to my Medal of Honor Art Project referencing the ways as to which the light flows through the different aspects of the artwork for my Medal of Honor Art Project after discussing certain portions with my Bok Gung and my Bok Pu before going through my Confirmation Class and when I learned the last portions of the electives at the timeframe of.
Later I learned of a different individual who I had also sent the books to named Paul Waselewski who I had remembered being more close to my childhood friend who was a neighbor to my babysitter when we were growing up named Damien, which later I learned as to him having been in a show which there was a character also named Damien which I thought was a bit befitting when looking over such information. I know there were situations which were unresolved at the time when Damien had passed away after the car accident between the two because of how the friendship between and how Damien and I were, which few in Marlboro Middle School knew of or realized as to the levels of our friendship. While I had been informed of a female name Stephanie Massiello who had later gone to Saint John Vianney High School as well as Paul and I despite certain other situations referencing such times if remembered, when in track and field the shoe situation referencing the track cleats in such references; when Stephani had picked out the pair she had and tried them on, I asked her if she really wanted the pair of shoes she had chosen. She told me she would grow into the pair which I smiled and told her her feet were almost done growing and she did not need such a larger difference in the size, which the choices were as the choices were as I understood more than was realized at such times as to why the situation had been as such which I knew she could not know as to how I would know regarding such portions thereof. While my biological father called such a look as clown shoes, I explained she did not know what it was she was doing at the time of in such references as per the ways as to what was going on at the time of which when telling him such words I also reminded him as to him having the knowledge as to why she would have chosen such larger shoes to try to fill and stuff with the paper to make it look as though it was a correct fit in comparison.
He shook his head when looking at me asking what I could know of what that was in comparison, and I simply whispered "I know, you know."
In such times when at Saint John Vianney High School though also in reference to the aspects of more-so along the lines of Marlboro Middle School before Saint John Vianney High School what some within the state of Texas would be more aware of ironically in certain ways, while yes the aspects of the overall demographics to where I had grown up in New Jersey are as such were; it did not change the facts thereof to varied levels of details in various home life situations and when adding the aspects as to the different locations which I had gone to because of the different areas where my biological father would travel to for work contracting aspects through his business, the portions as to traveling for the aspects which were needed and required and in some ways are needed and required more-so in the reference to the current times for myself though also in such years when in the state of Texas as well as during the times of after winding up in Washington state; the amount of traveling I have been accustomed to because of the requirements thereof have been the most normal for me after waking up from my coma from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury. There are those mainly with military connection aspects as to such traveling portions in reference to the United States of America which are more accustomed to traveling more consistently in whichever connectionary points thereof in regards to the Armed Forces of the United States of America and while there is not the denial of the situations of preferring the proverbial home base area, what one considers as a home base varies depending upon the situations thereof. Taking into consideration after waking up from my coma after my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury within the first month of being in Medical Hold Unit or what is now called Warrior Transition Unit, I went from San Antonio to Austin Texas for one rave to go dancing despite what occurred thereof; which the new First Sergeant had to pick me up which I had paid attention when I was in the backseat as to what she was telling her daughter, which I doubt she realized I could hear each word as well as pick up what she felt in reference to the situations at the time. Within the second month I had gone from #mysa #SanAntonio San Antonio to #Mexico Mexico and back despite the situations thereof regarding going to Nuevo Loredo because of my lack of belief in reference to various situations, which I was educated quickly as to the realities thereof such situations; though was able to introduce to the soldiers as well as open their minds a bit to different aspects of acceptances within the adult aspects, comparatively.
Within the first 5 months I had been to Fort Worth and back to San Antonio several times, which by then the amount of traveling I had done within such time became more normal to me than what some would have been accustomed to for the ages biologically of 17 and 18 years old; however those who grew up in the area of New Jersey as I had would be able to relate more-so as per the ways which the tristate areas are more well known for as well as the culmination, of the variety of different backgrounds to the multiple types of individuals around such areas. When it came to my nieces and nephew more specifically in reference to #FortWorth #FortWorthTexas #FortWorthTX #FWTX Fort Worth while I did what I could to best explain a multitude of aspects prior to the time of the First Family Vacation I was able to create for my son, my daughter, my niece, and I; the discussions which I explained a variety of portions referencing the traveling from Fort Worth to #GA #Georgia Georgia to #FL #Florida Florida then to #AL #Alabama Alabama before to Texas as life went onward, I had promised I would take my nephew on a trip when it was time regarding a different type of vacation as per having thought the trip I had begun to plan in reference to the cruise as well as the trip idea to New Jersey would have been more ideal regarding such aspects. Despite the ways such times had gone in reference to, I had made the genuine efforts for such to open and broaden the horizons of viewpoints as per the ways which the world was moving towards as per the ease of travel as well as the ability to go more places more easily during such times. At minimum I suppose in reference to my ex-sister-in-law Susie Marie Nichols-Lopez at the time despite not being able to go myself, she was able to see and listen to a different perspective of #LisaLampenelli Lisa Lampenelli for a different set of views regarding the comedy of such a unique style though I also thought she would enjoy the works of #Monique Monique which I had heard a radio commercial she was going to be in the area sometime soon during the year of. I suppose with the aspects as to the availability of the online portions which additionally have assisted much, the availability to look into such more easily and readily ability for such aspects for more; though such does not change the more in person aspects in my opinion, yet at the same time when looking at such portions of the election integrity the need to review such portions in the additional ways.
Those who I grew up with in whichever ways as to whichever years at whichever locations thereof learned earlier as to not only the traveling portions though also the impacts thereof prior to the attacks on 11 September 2001, which I am thankful and grateful they were able to live onward just as myself. However with the portions in reference to the aspects of the 20 year memorial coming up in 27 days of the events, the solemnness which I cannot deny the feelings thereof regarding such a time as per realizing it has been 22 years regarding since I had initially been moved out from my home-state of New Jersey. As it is more known as to the average number of veteran suicides as to such a number as well as the connection aspects as to the specific firearm used for the first attempt regarding my now dead-ex-husband as to his failure to accept the fact I was not going to return to the situation, the reality as to such portions was later sunken into the knowledge and understanding for the acceptances thereof as to the requirements for my requirements as well as my needs for my children as my son and my daughter and I required different portions than what had once been considered as accepted. I knew and I understood and I comprehended, I was not the only one who had survived such and lived onward.
Thus while some might view such a transfer as a proverbial of such ways referencing such aspects as to my transfer, the realities of how such is actually viewed when taking all such portions into consideration referencing the aspects thereof; who truthfully had pulled such a proverbial trigger in such ways, when taking the overall portions into consideration of such combined aspects thereof? In such a time of reflection regarding the ways the election year of the 2020 cycle as well as the combined portions of the 22 when taking out the 00 for such a metaphorical viewpoint regarding the election cycle of 2020, the election integrity as well as the situations thereof can be looked into ways which are a smidgen deeper than the proverbial surface intervals thereof. Those who I went to Marlboro Middle School with who knew of which #Science Science teacher I had as well as which #Woodworking Woodworking teacher I had know of the portions as to the relative aspects as to the situations in reference to my SCUBA Diving, as well as the reference aspects as to what occurred in reference to my books I had written and compiled from such portions in time. What references can additionally be seen in reference to the combinations thereof regarding the election cycle of 2020 to the election cycle of 2008 and 2012, when taking such aspects into a deeper look of such portions as to how such treatments had been in such regards?
However after coming up with an idea regarding identification cards both in the physical aspects and/or the electronic portions thereof to assist with not only SCUBA Diving though also in reference to the portions about driver's licenses, military/Armed Forces of the United States of America identification cards, and/or other pertinent aspects as to make those who are accustomed to one way not only pay attention to details in ways to get the thoughts to move in different directions to expand awareness for more reviewal as per thoughts to learn more as sometimes when being accustomed to the ways one aspect as to reviewing identification cards the overlooking accidentally because of the portions of the details and the more traditional ways in conjunction with the ways which the digital aspects have askewed certain viewpoints because of for the metaphor as to what occurred with some people who watched Japanimation in the 1990s for the viewing portions as to the online aspects of identification aspects for the wording to explain such; possibly the availability to assist with such portions regarding the images of a sketching or drawing I made regarding a suggestions for SCUBA Diving certification identifications might be reviewed by law enforcement aspects for other ideas regarding other such identification aspects. Going over in brief the ability to look over such images would be able to give a multifaceted viewpoint to take into consideration for traveling as well as SCUBA Diving as per the reference in the pictures, though as the news reported a few years ago around 2017 as to the facial recognition software having difficulties with identifying identical twins as per such twins as Blake and Neilly Rosenblum from Asher Holmes Elementary School; I suppose this suggestions might assist the definitions of each's looks as Barbara and Monica were fraternal twins at the time.
I had gotten in trouble and had been smoked during Basic Training the evening before my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury when at Fort Sill Oklahoma because of requesting to see the identification card of the female who said she was the Drill Sergeant's wife, which I had mainly gotten in trouble wrongly forgoing to contact 9-1-1 from the military installation compared to the Drill Sergeant being upset for me checking her identification card at the office area downstairs in the basement-ish area on the ground floor level of the barracks area in the timeframe of. In such times while the identification card verification was not considered as important to some though having remembered when going with my Grandpa Gavett as well as my babysitter's husband to certain locations, the identification card was fully required for wherever I went with them at such times. I thought it was normal as per what I had seen from those times regarding any military installation, though I suppose that informs some as to the levels of my Grandpa Gavett as well as my babysitter's husband for such reference aspects for security purposes. I can be sarcastic in reference to the energetic portions of what I have accomplished being the only verification portions as to my SCUBA Diving aspects, however on the surface of the land the other aspects might be considered as different for such reviewal because of the physical eyes comparatively to the oceanic portions of energetic pulsations. While I have acknowledged which tattoos I have had put into my skin for some of the reasons thereof and the ability for the records to prove such aspects later on from such writings about from prior tattoos though can do so for what additional tattoos are required for myself regarding the updating in reference to my website for such clarification purposes, the situations as to the ways which the portions of.
However I have a feeling most who knew me especially within the state of New Jersey, most likely did not picture me looking as I do regarding my hair and my tattoos. If there ever had been a voting as per who would you vote to see most likely to surprise you as a biological adult, possibly if that would have been situation I might have won that.
However the beginning countdown to the 11 September 2021 memorial time of the attacks on 11 September 2001, 27th day to the day of remembrance...
