I am thankful I was able to have the time I was able to have with both of my children I had been able to enjoy as long as time had allowed, as my son #Letters4James and my daughter #Letters4Lidia have always meant so much to me. With the after effects from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury after effects it was extremely pertinent for each possible second no matter how few, to be able to make sure my son and my daughter knew how important they were to me and would always be to me. As I knew over time my son and my daughter would grow up at a point which I had wished for their age to be 18 years old each before the thought of actually seeing them go out the door on their own to be able to grow further in life, however that was cut short abruptly. Personally I believe my ex-in-laws thought they knew better than they did which their choices had lead to the destruction of the final legacy their dead-brother had left which was all they could ask for, and their choice to choose how they chose to treat James and Lidia were their only last connections left to their dead-brother; as they had an idea of how I chose to be the opposite of the stereotypical ex-wife, however the abuse of had been as it had been. While they kept praising the biology of my son carrying on the last name compared to his sister, the ex-in-laws seemed to fail to understand that the fact of their choices had lead my son and my daughter to make their own decisions in comparison to falling for the same patterns of behaviour. My niece #Letters4Marissa and upon seeing how she had grown up much better that she initially would have previously without such a vacation trip, also added what shaped each one.
As my niece #Letters4Marissa had learned when she was able to go to college and graduate to go through Psychology studies for a type of social work through whichever financial aide means she was able to get, unless the use of the same patterns of behaviour as her biological mother had previously done referring to the stolen identity for bills to be paid such as with her eldest daughter Brieanna Marie Nichols-Lopez as well had seen. What was curious to me was how Marissa had been able to get financial aid for college when the reality of the amount of debt their biological mother Susie Marie Nichols-Lopez (now Sweeti or something close) had racked up on Brieanna Marie Lopez (do not know legal married name with 2 children), which she had to drop out of her college applications as I was informed because of the amount of debt her mother incurred in her name. Just as her only son had such credit problems, the ponering as to how such would be allotted for financial aid as the requirements previously were to pay off all of the debts prior to going to college. If such laws changed and it was not the stolen identity or lying through government forms such as moving my neice to my ex-,mother--in-law's house to pretend as though the income level was enough to verify within the levels requiring such, and yet still double dipping and/or stealing from the governmental system as per the prior aspects. For example, I had asked my ex-sister-in-law about Marissa moving into my house with me in Carrollton to get her a better education at the school; though apparently a good thing, since the way the school situation went.
However if Marissa heard Susie Marie Nichols-Lopez at the time speak with me on the phone while Marissa was around and heard her mother tell me she refused, Marissa knows how suppressed memories occur as she had to study such. Many who begin their work into the psychology field for college courses as I have noticed seem to be individuals who have an extremely tretcherous childhood who genuinely look for better ways, while looking to find ways to heal themselves. It comes across as odd since the ex-sister-in-law did not help her eldest daughter with such financial assistance for college financial aid and the oddities of her willingness to assist and yet such a new vehicle for each individual who was at the house on Dorsey Street, when in #FortWorth near #AnglinDrive in #FortWorth/#ForrestHill. I remembered the McDonalds Birthday party fight my ex-sister-in-law Susie Marie Nichols-Lopez had gotten into with two other females from a different party group of which while I began moving the bags and the cake over because I understood the importance of time with family, the argument before the fight began between the others in reference to my son's first birthday while I was pregnant with my daughter before my hair color and hairstyle changes as I was pregnant which includes my tattoos; however none would have known back then what I would look as, because I was 19 years old when they met me and I was only awake from the coma from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury just over 2 years by then. However the choices regarding the legal court case between the two had occurred around the time I was delivering my daughter at the hospital during one of the 7+ days of labor and then the recovery afterwards, the fact I was taking the other groups' side in the court case was an annoyance to my ex-sister-in-law from that McDonald's birthday party in the end of August 2002 or beginning of September in 2002.
My hair color being brown color naturally and the light completion in skin tone plus the pregnancy weight compared to after delivering, the inability for them to know who I was would be evident. I warned my ex-in-laws not to upset the situation any further at the #McDonalds while the children and teenagers watched while my ex-sister-in-law continued arguing with my ex-mother-in-law at the other people who were waiting for the party space they paid for who was arguing their point, all the while of going to clean up the area as some of the other individuals for the birthday party walked in and walked by me. To be clear I was not intimidated as I recognized certain attributes from when growing up in #NewJersey and #NewYorkCity mainly though also in Pennsylvania in certain areas, which I warned my ex-in-laws now though back then not to upset the situation as I knew what I knew and that was all I knew I could say. I knew the group was in the correct and thus in my light blue pregnancy shirt with tiny flowers and whatever pregnancy jean pants or capris with my white sneakers, I waddled back and forth with what I could carry apologizing for my particular connection at the time; and asking they take into consideration prior to the arguing, I did not need to know who they were to be getting the proper amount of time and space for their birthday party to occur. I received a head nod from the two females who were arguing with my ex-sister-in-law and my ex-mother-in-law for awhile prior to the next group who came into the McDonalds, which is who I refer to regarding the head nod as I had already received the head nod from the two females prior to the groups' entrance into the McDonalds. They sat down on the side of the restaurant where each birthday party was paid for the section of as in reference to with my son's birthday, which had mostly been cleared; however my ex-sister-in-law continued arguing while my ex-mother-in-law called out names, which sent chills up my spine.
Though I could not explain it correctly at the time, it almost felt similar to the situation at Crystal Lake South High School regarding a common pit response I had. As I looked outside to see the clouds part briefly before turning to look back, my nieces were inside of the Play-place to watch through the window as they yelling continued, prior to the two females and my ex-sister-in-law starting to physically fight. My ex-sister-in-law pushed first as I saw as one went into the birthday cake she had made a big deal about picking up as it was custom and the schedule was late only because I had told the manager since the cake was being brought in, there was not the need to defrost the other cake. I had planned to simply take the cake with, however when my ex-sister-in-law arrived she went off on the manager and staff needlessly even though I explained what I had told the manager and staff. Being my son's Mom, I figured it was the smarter thing while not forgetting why defrost a cake when a fresh one is on the way? Why waste the cake or have the chance of the cake spoiling, and then wasting food as well as space? It seemed ridiculous to argue over that, however it seemed she had an axe to grind at the time.
Later the the two females went to get up to walk over to the area I had cleared while being almost full term as my daughter was born only 3-4 weeks at most after the incident, though after they stood up to walk away after one grabbed her purse; the handles were not stationary and had hinges which meant the purse slightly moved when she picked up her purse. In that moment instead of my ex-sister-in-law staying calm-ish, she yelled at the female for hitting the child nearby in a booth with her purse; without giving a chance to be able to explain, when she pushed one of the two females who lost her footing and slid into the birthday cake. Then, it went onward from there. As the three fought, I noticed the child caught in the middle of the fight between the three adult females. I walked over, picked up the possibly 4 or 6 year old girl, and took her over to where I was standing as the others throughout stood watching the fight.
My now dead-ex-husband their dead brother had started going off about how dare I not get into the fight to fight while pregnant, though also yelled about the fact of choosing to simply pick up a child to get her out of the situation as quickly as I could. Later others would join in with the exception of Grandpa Nichols, which he had been the only one who had not been at the McDonalds though had taken my side against everyone else in that side of the family including my nieces and nephew. As the eldest was excited and pumped up to see what her mom did just as her son, my other niece was in a daze and silent the whole time and even more quiet than she already normally had been during those times. As the rest of them argued with one another I took Marissa to the side hallway leading towards Grandpa Nichols' room still wearing the light blue shirt with tiny small flowers in a swoop neck flowing shirt, though she was very young when she first met me and yet could see then prior to after situations began and she among the others heard what was being said during the first separation as well as the final separation in reference to my ex-in-laws and their now dead son.
If she remembers all the way back then as the adults were yelling and screaming with one another, I took her with me to take care of my son in the car seat in the bedroom to keep them away from the situation. As the eldest continued arguing along with her brother in tune with my ex-sister-in-law, ex-mother-in-law, and their dead relative no matter how many pictures they have or find of him though since he did not get into photography there was not any need for pictures beyond what was taken at those times; by choices made.
Nonetheless I took her hand from hiding out behind the couch area after they had gotten to the house as I had already taken care of making sure my son was taken care of, took some food to Grandpa Nichols before the explanations and debating began in the house, dealt with being yelled at by their dead brother, and then went to get something to drink when my ex-sister-in-law and the rest of the group who had gone with walked into the house. Marissa hid behind everyone while walking in with her eyes wide open as I saw her listening to all of the words the adults were using around her, and as her chin length hair had seemingly started to stand up a little bit as the adults continued yelling louder at one another; I watched her slide her back down the wall in the corner by the window covering, without blinking. I have later on taken my son to see the Walking Dead character from the show at a Wizard Con after seeing some of the show, which if the actors and actresses had seen Marissa on that evening; I could mention a few pointers regarding how she had physically moved, in a reference point thereof. So many pieces of different planters and tables with items on top of in the way and the voices were being raised louder when Grandpa Nichols said he disagreed though agreed depending which portions was fought over, she curled up smaller next to the curtain and the couch.
That was not my fight to deal with though nor hers, which is when I reached out my hand for her to see. Her head slowly turned in an eerie feeling sort of way without blinking once the entire time, without any movement at all from her breath or any other movement from her arms after sitting down, and her skin tone was the same as my skin tone which seemed even more concerning because of prior situations I have lived through to survive. I remember I asked if she could hear me whispering to her even though she looked towards my hand, though I could tell she was not fully there. Her skin was cold and clammy, which I recognized from a few situations. While my ex-sister-in-law did not pay attention to certain truths her father warned her about, I recognized certain aspects I had not availability to put into words. The extremely difficult situation was even more-so being as large as I had been when pregnant with my daughter, and getting the ability to fit behind the items to sit with her after seeing her lifeless expression on her face. She had a small little mark on the side of her neck near her collar bone with a tiny drop of red and though I made attempts to speak, the argument continued onward.
When I realized she would not get up to walk and she was not going to speak herself as I was paying attention to the beads of sweat pouring out of her neck, I stood up to pick her up to take her to the room where my son was sleeping to be able to work on keeping the both of them safe while maintaining for my daughter as best as I could. I remember I brushed the bangs out from her eyes to look into to see how dilated they were compared to the sewing machine circular dial on the shelf behind as I did what I could to not knock my head against the metal top bunk accidentally, while attempting to talk with Marissa. Unresponsive though breathing, I asked if she knew who she was and she nodded slowly. I asked her to say her own name and birthday, though she could only say Marissa. Knowing I could not explain in words especially to where they would have listened to me at the time which they were still fighting about whether or not the McDonald's employees should have stepped into the fight which Grandpa Nichols took my stance previously, of stepping back instead. I had attempted to explain the situation when I stepped out of the room to speak though instead, I was yelled at for not fighting in the McDonalds fight and being told that if I was not pregnant my ex-sister-in-law thought I would have gotten involved on her behalf which I clarified otherwise and Grandpa Nichols sat up a bit in his chair to listen to my reasonings prior to the moment in reference to talking about getting Marissa to a hospital. Instead they continued and I went back to the room to see Marissa looking at James in the car seat blankly, when I walked in. You can look at when he started researching religion, for that timeframe connection and proof.
When the pictures came in from the portrait studio in 2007, Grandpa Nichols refused to acknowledge the fakeness the others believed because he was a retired E7 after more than 5 years prior to the Vietnam War when he volunteered for 4 separate tours prior to becoming a Drill Sergeant for 6 years for specialty and basic training; however those are the only details his family will ever be allowed to know in full, as they are not allowed to know the details ever as when the clearance level requirement in at the timeframe of they will have been dead for over a decade in reference to his children and his grandchildren will not be that far behind with the exception of a couple or a few depending on their choices as well as their children's choices including if they were to marry if they do not have children out of wedlock or do.
I reminded Marissa James was not Joseph, when I went to sit next to her as she slowly looked towards my direction when standing up and the large number of sweat beads had disappeared. I wrapped my arm around her to pull her close slowly which she fell into my arms with her eyes closed immediately with a bit of a gurgling sound I recognized, and took care of what I needed to take care of as I had naturally done before my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury in reference to healing energy and it took a few minutes though she came around. Slowly when her eyes opened she looked upward asking odd questions which I answered as I knew what she was referencing and I answered honestly, which she smiled saying "Thank you Aunt Susan, thank you."
Checking her vital signs and clearing her from what hypothetical possibilities in reference to her biological father and/or her other aunt related to her Mary Evongelina Nichols-Osteen, as earlier the prior year Mary Evongelina Nichols-Osteen was joking in the front yard with Susie Marie Nichols-Lopez and their mom about Sondra's true biological father's identity; which seemed important to tell not only Sondra Marie Osteen about though also the biological father's family, yet I was told he was in prison for life and they did not believe me when I told them they needed to tell the father about the truth or at minimum his family because I recognized the situation. I was told I knew nothing about the actual hood as for whatever their thoughts were to where I grew up compared to where I grew up walking around were two separate aspects as they had not taken into consideration. As they talked with their neighbor Judy about the situation who agreed with my now ex-in-laws and as I disagreed wholeheartedly of the choices I was being told of, there was an older Pontiac which drove by slowly and circled around the neighborhood several times after the third time of circling back from the blocks nearby when I said I disagreed with their choice to hide the paternity. I thought I saw the car come to a rolling stop and at that time again I did not have my hair style it is now and it quickly changed when I put it into place, before the tattoos I began getting from after that time.
Nonetheless my now ex-in-laws defended Mary's choice which again, I refused to accept as a valid excuse to either Sondra Marie Osteen, to who was being told was her father David Osteen, as well as whoever the family was to Sondra because in my opinion even though the biological father might have been in prison; it did not give Mary the right to deny his family, especially if she had been involved as she explained previously. I warned them to pay attention and yet, that did not seem to be paid attention to except by the females in the house across the street at the time who were leaving from the front door as well as the Pontiac 1990s maybe really late 1980s model, darker red with some missing paint, and dark rims. The next few times the car circled as no one except me had noticed while the children were playing in the front yard I looked over to the females who were crossing their arms with a hip popped out looking at my now ex-in-laws, and I took a few steps to the side as they noticed and nodded their heads in my direction just as the male saw as he turned the corner and did the same in their direction before looking directly at me towards the edge of the grass. Again slowing the car down by my ex-in-laws now he started to swerve the steering wheel in their direction when he looked back towards my direction closer to the street, looked back to the two females, looked back at my direction and nodded in both directions. I nodded back and started walking inside the front yard to get away from that situation as I think whoever they were they had heard me speak as they only put their hands on their hips or crossed their arms after they heard what I had to say and then heard their claimed defenses as to choosing the path they had. I told Grandpa Nichols which he went back to sleep, though no one wanted to listen to me even after I brought up being told about the bullet holes in the house near the front door.
I was ignored just as my warnings as they preferred talking about other topics once David arrived before leaving to go to Basic Training at Lackland Air Force Base #JBSA, though when doing the energetic healing aspect I also felt the tug not only from that portion though also in reference to her father and her mother and who they knew. I did not learn her father was an illegal immigrant who had a lengthy prison sentence history including multiple DUIs which as explained had been the way chosen to stay in the United States of America because of the lesson of the prison system taking care of prisoners better than some were being treated in their own countries, however while I disagreed with that choice and I thought it needed to be revisited to discuss later; the situation at hand was lacking the importance to such details, compared to what I could feel from what I remembered from certain situations I had dealt with growing up which similarly though in a different way when I was a child around her age as well as into my teenager years. However their choice to hypothetically if there is records to prove though the reality of the time my military identification card went missing only when they were in my Ford Winstar van light green and I parked in an open parking lot searching for while pregnant before going to the graduation ceremony where I wanted to pet the military police dog, which I would guesstimate would assist narrowing down to find such video footage from security cameras. If the United States of America's government and Armed Forces needed any reason to define domestic terrorism additionally in reference to my military identification card having been stolen on a military installation shortly before 11 September 2001 and those ex-in-laws would be proven to have ever used the scan code and/or my personal information to ever look me up through what information would have been on that identification card, the availability especially if done so on a military installation additionally when they would hypothetically have done so any moment after 11 September 2001 and the declaration of war; by techniclities they could legally be charged with treason and domestic terrorism against the United States of America's Armed Forces, because of the dangers those people would have opened and continued with for whatever length of time which in turn by the UCMJ standards; the crimes if proven would then mean, such a punishment. I write if mainly because of having to admit my own personal biases against not only against one or two or etcetera of my ex-in-laws, though also because of additional experiences which shape such biases to admit such for as unbiased and transparency for such if ever into question.
As they argued more about the birthday cake and McDonalds trying to blame the other side to me compared to what I saw as well as what my now dead-ex-husband tried to convince me was acceptable behaviour, they missed every point I was attempting to bring up about taking her to a hospital when I had gone back to the room. I had no other choice as there was not a GPS at the time in 2001, no one was listening, and I finished what I started as there was not going to be enough time to get her to the hospital from then. Similarly only in explanation is a situation with the son of an individual during volunteering at Nine Lives Books though his was far more intense and was able to get him to an emergency room in time which even though far more intense, the lack of ability to get her to an emergency room had been a situation if I could have even spoken as to the symptoms beyond the ones I wrote above which I had said in most ways. She was falling as her heart rate was getting lower than my natural heart rate resting, which I told her she needed to close her eyes while I gave her a hug. She asked me why and I told her she needed to trust me and close her eyes which when she did, I wrapped my arms around her while putting one of my hands over her eyes just in case she tried to peak which she did not, and the only words I have for the situation close to is the ability to see the pictures I took when at the USS/USNS General Hoyt S. #Vandenberg for the coloration in the room after I put a blanket on top of the car seat to a makeshift screen to prevent the blinding portions to his eyes as an infant. I only can verify the color brightness as when I was getting closer to finishing to complete fully for, I felt the door open slowly to see Grandpa Nichols starting to walk in.
He covered his eyes reaching for the light switch, though the lights were off in the room at the time as the ceiling fan would spin and make the lights seem nauseating to where I would feel the need to throw up even if I had not eaten anything. When he asked me what was going on immediately afterwards I did what I could to explain while holding Marissa in my arms, as she slid from my shoulder to lay down-ish. As he and I talked briefly before he went to his room to get away from their drama to get onto the computer, the discussions continued onward in the living room that September 2002. When she started coming around I asked her what her name was and she was able to tell me Marissa Marie Lopez, much quicker than previously. As there was the reality she was young when that occurred as well as the fact of the two separations prior to the death of her uncle, I figured she might only remember me with my hair color in the natural color compared to when later on in the time the need to change my hairstyle and hair color would be required to help myself. I was correct after the first separation ended later in 2005, of which she was in elementary school when I first met her in 2000 and the intermittentness compared to later after I moved from #SanAntonio to Carrollton for my son and my daughter.
I did not bring up the situation with Marissa though I had talked with her mom that evening later, though she was still fired up about the McDonalds fight and did not want to listen to anything further or talk about it further as her eldest daughter might remember. Much later in time for a developing child and teenager especially with the amount of technology and what was in their mom's life, Brieanna Marie Lopez later learned to see from a different angle in reference to what she had been told by my ex-mother-in-law, my ex-sisters-in-law, my ex-brother-in-law, as well as my now dead-ex-husband; which I was in a different area of the city and had not seen him in two days, prior to his death as was explained by several of the children from them at different times. I knew the promise made had not been kept and though later the situation was what it was, the choice to not listen to my side as well as the situation on my biological side of the situation, taking his side wrongly in my opinion on both accounts' sides.
Despite the physical/emotional/mental/sexual/spiritual abuse in reference to trying to deny me of what I am and his failures where he chose to cause problems for me while doing the best I could to keep my children safe, even when my biological parents were told about how I was still laying in the backyard after he ran as fast as he could into my hips upward to throw me across onto the concrete path and leave me there knowing I was unconscious; I was told both familial sides to my children biologically had agreed wrongly in a different way against me, during the first separation as well as the second/final separation. When later in 2008 I told my ex-in-laws I was moving to help my son and my daughter be able to get to know their side of the family to be able to possibly have positive memories of their biological father, I do not think they understood my words even as clear as they had been. I think they were wishing that I could be swayed after what I had been told as well as what I experienced from their side of the family when their dead relative had beaten me in front of them at times, had made me while pregnant as well as when recovering from delivering each of my children to carry luggage by myself, and etcetera for shorter references; I could not forget what they chose to accept, and I think they forgot what I knew as they were under the impression that my tattoos were only for rebelling. I suppose if rebelling against my headaches, migraines, cognitive disorders, and memory deficits would be considered as a rebellion; then I suppose so, though I think they referenced another aspect comparatively. Somehow they thought they were more equipped to help my son and my daughter than I could as their Mom, which was a different set of situations and disagreements including Mary Evongelina Nichols-Osteen thinking she had the right to tell me how to decorate my house in Carrollton while trying to tell me how to remember her dead brother.
I can laugh because when she was in my house in my library telling me such I remember a point when I said, "If you love your dead brother so much, you can marry your dead brother and keep him as yours permanently."
She ignorantly smiled and said, "Thank you, I truly do love him."
I smiled, "I know, you can thank me when you fully realize who I am. Though, make sure not to insult me as you have inside of my house."
She laughed saying she thought we were friends when I asked, "Why, would you think that?"
She thought I was joking when I asked the question and in her fake Georgia accent as I heard her speaking in multiple situations which only when with others who were not related to her, had been when the Georgia accent came out when she spoke; unless she was yelling her husband's name, to get his attention (over) dramatically in my opinion. I informed her she had nothing to do with anything in reference to me or anything to do with my life and she needed to keep her nose in her own business and out of mine, which she laughed telling me she knew my type. I told her I knew she had no idea who I am which she laughed and said she saw online, which I laughed in her face and said "You know what I allow you to know, do you not understand?" Again, she thought I was joking.
I explained to her I knew, and she thought I was telling her a joke again. We had few words before I told her to get out of my house and never come back into my life as after Georgia, there was no need for me to discuss anything with her if it was not in reference to my son and/or my daughter her favorite dead brother's only children. I warned her not to play with the situation because she would be burned harshly if she tried to do so, which she laughed and tried to claim she was a true Georgia bell. I warned her to be careful with that being born in Louisiana and living there for awhile before living in Alabama and then in Fort Worth Texas, as it felt as though true Georgia Bells probably would not take kindly to a female such as her taking away such from the actual birthright Georgians. She told me she thought I knew nothing of how actual Georgians are, which I figured though not the state of Texas though below the Mason-Dixon Line; it felt as though the situation would be fairly similar, as well as fairly just as potent if certain ones were to be discussed. I was told there was nothing like Texas in Georgia thankfully, which it was what it was.
Repeating of the fact we were not friends and I did not know her she tried to tell me because she saw me online that meant she knew me, which I explained again she only knew what I allowed her to see. She refused to believe me when I asked her if she put everything about her online and she asked why anyone would not, which knowing her husband was in the Air Force branch at the time I warned her to keep herself in check; though she took that as an insult as if she knew anything about clearance levels being a dependent child, to later be a dependent spouse to a military member of the United States of America's Armed Forces and nothing more to me than that. I told her I knew her type and that type of spouse in the military is not needed, not helpful, and not wanted by the actual military of the United States of America. She laughed saying she thought she had her dad's clearance which I informed her she wishes she could handle a billionth of what her dad had done and not to insult the man who had just died, inside of my house as she knew nothing about his actual military career and nothing about who he actually was; which in turn meant she knew nothing, about his job and training and was incompetent to ever speak with me about such matters. Apparently, that insulted her. I know, the truth can hurt especially with her dead brother's memorial box behind her in the area of the foyer where she was complaining as I watched the energy flow as I knew it would. The watch from when he was over in Iraq began to glow, and so did she. It was fantastic to watch, pun intended.
I know she knew I was seeing, though she had no idea at the time again a pun intended regarding the watch. Remember, my biological father was certified as he was as well as my own personal studies which she knew nothing about and wished she could have one zillionth of the knowledge let alone the understanding and actual full comprehension thereof. Yet she saw her mommy play with some candles and thought she knew what playing with fire meant, which made it all the much easier to see and make the energy go as it did. I asked her if she accepted certain aspects in a specific manner which only if she said a specific phrase would she accept the invitation given, and that exact phrase required unlocked the key in the watch to make it glow. I have said a few things, about flowing which some might be able to see a darker humour about such. Then again with the certain choices thereof including a club in the Washington state area, I can definitely know for a fact there was quite a bit of glowing inside; as well as in a generalized reference to the poem, Mary Mary quite contrary. I clearly explained to her back in 2008 to be careful, she was not who she thought she was and I was not who she thought I was. She had not the slightest inclination as to who she began a war with, as per her words when walking out the front door as I shut it and locked up. She was given one last chance before the change would begin, and that chance went exactly as it did. If she wants to be cleansed from that, she can make a request formally as to why I should ever take into consideration such a menial portion of existence. Especially after my USS/USNS General Hoyt S. Vandenberg SCUBA Dives, which I admit there was a hunger when hearing the final portions in her voice as she spoke demanding I take my son, my daughter, and my niece as though she already knew about the #SCUBA dive realities as though she had made the attempt and tried to murder me and/or convince my niece to do so herself.
Those types of people such as Mary Evongelina Nichols-Osteen and the way she was raising her daughters while trying to tell me she knew more about me because of looking into my military background, which at the time I had forgotten about my military identification card going missing only when she with her two daughters were in my Ford Winstar van on Lackland Air Force Base for her husband's Basic Training Graduation; irony about the Cowboys Dance Hall and Stoney LaRue timing and situation to messages on Facebook, yes? I do not know what actual information she or they knew about technology and messaging as well as coding, though they probably had no clue I had been coding before I was in kindergarten all the way until my Sophomore year in high school. Her daughters tried to tell me how advanced their technology was for their school compared to when I grew up as a child, which was so amusing to listen to for if they actually knew who they were speaking with; they definitely would not have had the arrogance which was present, while talking as such.
As time has gone passed the midnight hour in Central Standard Time in the United States of America though not in the Pacific or the Hawaiian Standard Time, I am putting such a notation for the clarity of timing in reference to this post just in case depending how the hours post per the timeframe of 12:07am CST compared to 11:07pm/23:07 PST or 7:07pm/19:07 HST.
Nonetheless in reference regarding the technology among several other amusing anecdotes was interesting, though the ability to spend quality time with my son, my daughter, and my niece was important even though that was the only time I had ever been able to spend time with my children on a vacation in the way I had wanted and I had chosen; however since the time afterwards was taken from my son, my daughter, my nieces, and I thereafter returning to Texas after the SCUBA Dives as well as the other situations had wrongly taken away my family and only family I had known for the time up to that point a whopping 9 years after waking up from my coma, after my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury. If there was a false report made against me, I hope there is a ramification process in check for such sorts of behaviour as the choice to not actually assist by them while also making needless problems for their dead brother's only children less than 1.5 years after his death as well as just 1 year after their Grandfather's death was the most disgusting situation I have ever seen from people that claimed to be human beings to me. I have seen more humanity in a dog than I ever saw in those adults, except for Grandpa Nichols. I suppose the saying is true when you take in consideration several aspects they chose to make on their own accord and of their own free will against my warnings which every warning I gave they fulfilled fully because they chose to ignore my warnings, and they chose to think they knew better than what I comprehend.
Thus if hypothetically such were to be true in the fuller aspects then they each have to live with the fact while their dead relative's only living children one of each were brought to them to be able to actually get to learn and know which in obvious ways though in different ways than I planned as they were allowed to make their own free will choices, they became greedy and took advantage of the situation instead of enjoying the time they were given as there is not one ex-wife who has ever moved to make sure her dead-ex-husband's children had anything to do with their dead father's family unless made to do so by a court of law. They chose to play games instead of enjoy the times they were given by my good nature, and when what I had given I had taken away because of their choices; they threw a temper tantrum, as children do. Instead of counting the blessings I had already given to them they demanded more, and there is a Magick Fish story which can give a metaphor as to that particular aspect.
Those people have to live with the fact they chose to ignore the requests I made for help for my son and my daughter, if they chose to hack and black email responses and/or phone calls when seeking a lawyer for what was going on at the school and school district then they prevented my daughter from getting the help she needed as well as the time with her brother and visa versa in their greed as well as in their selfish behaviours as to think they deserved anything from their dead brother beyond what I allowed them to have. The epidomy of the socialist democratic agenda for those types of people came forward as they thought just because of the life insurance policy which was bequeethed only to me as when he died I was the one alive which though his mother was on the life insurance if I had not been around, only then would she have been allowed that money; however her dead husband's life insurance policy came around, when Grandpa Nichols' passed on. I suppose it is true, the good die young. He was in the Army branch at the age of 18 years old with a record which is quite impressive, though they treated him as though he owed them something. If they knew who their father actually was, they would regret every choice they ever made in their entire life which he warned them against; though I suppose, that is too late now. No use crying over spilt milk, as they will not ever be allowed to know though it will drive them to insanity to which they will be institutionalized just as my daughter had been as they try to figure out how to get into those records; as per their patterns of hypothetical behaviour, however they do not deserve such information and even though they may have friends who could; those friends also know their clearances and what they did, which they would know they would not want such done to their service records while in the Armed Forces as to what would occur in turn for doing so which they would know would not be worth the cost. Even if some would try, there are fail-safes which trigger alerts and send out the proverbial horsemen to track down who would be so callous as to request such a record; if that particular protocol was in place, as there are those who know and understand the levels to actually get such a type of amount of information.
For example even though I was in a coma for over several weeks as well as was on Temporary Retirement Duty Leave TDRL for 4.5 years after waking up with multiple doctor appointments as well as 2 pregnancies, the file request for myself of my own records is less than 1.5 inches thick of paperwork; just for the medical records request in full that was only sent as the Senator was only allowed to send such as well as access to which level thereof after my own requests and the same-ish amount of paper, compared to what is known to hospitals on average for just the medical in the civilian sector which is less paperwork comparatively to the Armed Forces of the United States of America. I know what I did, and without the correct clearance or protocols followed there is not the need for anyone else to know of such unless I allow you to know; if the United States of America's Armed Forces and government agree of course, as depending upon depends upon. I did not graduate Basic Training as I had a head injury on Psalm Sunday only 9 days into Basic Training at Fort Sill Oklahoma, after the timeframe called Zero Week. I was in Medical Hold Unit until I was put on TDRL, and I went through what I went through.
In reference to such specifics and those who know of understanding such levels and comprehending why, there are many reasons why those people were not allowed the information in regards of Grandpa Nichols' military career. If there was an attempt to try to get such information from such a type of a clearance(d) individual to a specific number and/or number of individuals with such a clearance, the red flags which would go off and lock everything down around the country would be put into place upon hitting Biblical numbers literally in a one year timeframe or less for the red flags to be set off everywhere for every security measure possible until such was cleared up as to the aspects as to the why's. Upon such a clarification then the requirement for acknowledgement and discussion to move forward with the reality to take the next steps for the security of the United States of America's citizens upon such a closure which would be put into place beginning in one particular year though would close off, in another year of a different time. Which in turn you can actually see in the current time of how many individuals who thought they had the right and/or authority to information which is not covered under the FOIA requests as per clearance levels for the specifics thereof for the safety and defense, while looking at the realities of the masks and the COVID19; and then the opening to remove the masks to be able to move forward once the proper protocols of safety requirements were put into place if such were to have been in place for the clearance levels being cleared and verified in which what-have-you aspects thereof if there were a certain number level reached in such references to a laptop situation as various protocols go into place for specifics as there are those who know and comprehend if their job requires that level. It is not a situation of choices which are made lightly as the amount of certain specifics being more known compared to others more less known and thus once critical mass level would hypothetically have been reached by such, the proverbial reset button could be considered as a signal in a few different ways about the overall not in one way though in a multifaceted way because of friendly aspects.
For such an example of my ex-father-in-law's situation there are many facets as to why such an initial level of breech which had been seen occurred which his choice to pull the lever proverbially on his own and youngest son the only one who graduated college in the family to one point, was absolutely required and the initial catalyst as to why such red flags would initially take awhile to be known though once understood; the importance thereof for such choices not only for those who are of whichever military/law enforcement/fire department/medical as well as civilians attached to and/or associated with for their personal safety, even if not a child or relative or spouse.
I suppose I could make a joke though not a joke as when you take into consideration my life and how little I meant to those who were considered as they were regarding in reference to my son and my daughter as well as myself, when you look at how miniscule in reference to my childhood and other situations if you were to have more knowledge as given to read between the lines for proverbially; one might hate me for having to make the choice after my ex-father-in-law's choices and discussions, though why did such choices have to be made? For example if you take in consideration his son stole valor from his uniform and he knows what he did for his job, he would very much easily understand and comprehend the protocol requirements in reference to such beyond the level of the more common knowledge of stolen valor though others would know and understand with larger comprehension with others as to the larger amount of dangers which such would entail for a bigger way.
When you take into consideration spouses, children, friends, family and etcetera situations such as if in a relationship with an public figure's known family to others as some celebrities have learned the hard way unfortunately though more-so in reference to policy law makers and if not made aware and/or the look-a-like with a common last name if could not distinguish because of technological photoshop among other aspects; the larger aspects of if the actual connection of if the reality of, the risk that could put others in. Though the same if related to a politician who goes into a neighborhood and does not like the look physically of one of the neighbors to the relative of theirs which would be considered as bad press, in comparison to just staying to their job and their precinct and actually doing the best for their constituents as a whole instead of playing favorites because of family as that guilt is abound and there are those who figured that out long before writing this particular posting and thus the pulling of strings becomes a very simple thread to unravel when taking such of technology into consideration. There is not one person or being on earth which has not been tracked or monitored in some way or shape or form since the first launch of satellites and radio along with electricity power sources as well as remembering there is not a way to have the earth in a galaxy and there not be what is considered as extra terrestrials in the Milky Way Galaxy and universe as some have arrogantly thought. However the reality of the amount of monitoring you can see is in your own bills and accounts you pay for or have to take care of, for a miniscule aspect.
However I am thankful my niece who went to Florida with my son, my daughter, and I became the first female in her family to graduate with a degree from what I was told. I did not see her graduation certificate on the wall in the house when I was asked to stop by my ex-mother-in-law's house which my niece is living in as I was told, however I know others have graduated as well with degrees; and yet as many females are in that family and how the only graduation diploma on their wall is of their dead relative with pictures of knowing he is in stolen valor uniform pictures on different walls with Grandpa Nichols' pictures nearby that does show the level of sexism in the ways which I had already discussed and wrote about, as well as how little they ever cared about his honorable military service as he was buried in a Veterans Cemetery in DFW and they visited the other dead one more than they ever visited Grandpa Nichols; however, there was a reason why, they knew he did not want or need to see them as he already saw them for as they were and left them as such as a military guy can do when absolutely necessary. They owed everything they had to him and all he asked for was actual genuine respect in truth, and even afterwards they have disgraced his house he picked out and paid for, his name not theirs as he gave them that name and why they would care about my son's last name when they did not care about their own patriarch in their family is a whole other issue for them to deal with on their own, and they did not heed his warnings about their treatment towards me. He warned them more than I warned them, thus they have to live with the time they took from themselves for their choices though they can think of how disappointed Grandpa Nichols is and has been for quite some time. I can truthfully write and say as I cannot tell a lie, he is glad he died before everything actually hit the fan so he could watch and laugh at them for every individual folly they made and has been waiting for them to get their asses in gear for far too long. He told them what the 5Ps stand for and each one of his children biologically was a failure in his eyes, and only they can choose to be honest and truthful as to whether or not they comprehend as to the reality of such from their youth if they were to truthfully evaluate the situations in full. I can also add I could not stay in that house because it was pointed out to me in what once had been Grandpa Nichols' room other than the large picture of his dead son in stolen valor in what once was his private room and the stirring up of such in reference to other aspects they had repeatedly been warned of, he noticed the pictures which once had my picture within were cut out and he and his friends are quite irate with those individuals who have been gifted his name; even if they breeded and married, and their breeded ones bred the fact they have an attachment to his last name is where that generational aspect which Biblically has been written about because of his disgust of them.
If they were honest with themselves they could take a look at their own timelines to see which stolen valor aspects occurred when and when they made the choices they had in reference to my son, my daughter, and I; and know how their father would be if alive, and they know he has no physical limitations what-so-ever and can do as he pleases to their dreams because of what they are attached to. The irony is he is glad Grandma Nichols can not ever remarry and lose his last name after how she trapped him into marriage, as she knows if she remarries she will not be able to have a funeral paid for by the United States of America and he looks forward to the fact she will have no choice but to be buried with him as per his wishes in his will as well as her promise to him in a church; a Catholic Church as per her request, no less. She can look back to the wedding pictures to remember how much he truly preferred, her relative she lied to get herself to be able to marry him for the military benefits. She wanted to lie just for that, she has to keep her word as her mom was brought over to the United States of America to live in New York City, and she would not have ever been allowed to enter the country if he did not vouch for her as well as the additional promises she made after he found out she lied once she was on United States of America's soil because she knew he could not take her back to the Dominican Republic. She took advantage of him and he will not allow her to ever be in a relationship that ever brings her happiness, just as she had prevented him from being with the one he actually loved.
How ironic the statement, of revenge is best served cold.
If she were to try to go through with a different burial plot, she cannot escape his grasp as he wore his wedding ring in his funeral. It is permanent with or without, the official tombstone. She knows why his message to her, is what his message has been to her all along since August 2008 as the first picture she saw when she walked into her house just as she has for the past 13 years is that same sad stolen valor picture that he threw a fit about rightfully so. They argued about it repeatedly shortly before his death, which Lydia Evongelina (surname?) Nichols as the government name is on her technically illegally attained military identification card; if she wants to be buried elsewhere his message is she can get her citizenship revoked that she illegally got, and that is the only way for her to have an ocean between their remains. Any other option, they will be together forever; and not just because of the pictures, or their memories. She tried murdering him multiple times just as she had in the #DominicanRepublic which was why she ran from what I was told, though I have no proof of record and the Dominican Republic would have such records if their government were to look around the times of the governmental agency paperwork for her application as well as other people she later signed into the country for a Green Card through her reference ability as she knew. She did not ever make the rice pudding the way Sonja made it and she said it was the only recipe she knew for the rice pudding, which was watery and thin compared to any version of rice pudding I have ever had from anyone; especially from the Dominican Republic, especially the cream and texture thereof; though she also has wooden carvings of cashew plants which she said was from her home country, not specifying the Dominican Republic to me at all. It seemed odd as I remembered certain aspects of gardening and one thing I remembered was Sonja complained how she loved cashews, though it was expensive to import the cashews into the Dominican Republic as she lived in Alcapulco near I think Plata as she joked about the Plantain plant, though Grandma Nichols hardly ever cooked with Plantains, which also seemed a bit odd; though I admit the aspects of not knowing as much about the area, from not remembering everything Sonja/Sony and Jose/Joe discussed about the areas when I asked as a child growing up.
I am thankful Marissa had earned her degree in what she did, as she has a built in client list which she can open her own practice for what she had already been doing from childhood needlessly; though at minimum, now she can be properly paid and rewarded for such efforts if there are no other problematic portions in reference to her background.
Grandpa Nichols, wanted to say hello.
If Grandpa Nichols was not stationed in Brazil though she was in the Dominican Republic on a vacation or working at a resort if imported from Brazil as per a picture of her as a child in a grass skirt Grandpa Nichols showed me before she ran up and grabbed it yelling how she finally got it, which he smiled and asked me if I had gotten a good enough look shortly before he opened the door to his room to speak loud enough for her to hear and shortly run into the room to snatch it away saying she did not think I needed to see what she looked like. She had the similar hairstyle now in that picture with round circles around her neck with longer sharp teeth-ish looking pieces in the middle portion of the necklace, a grass looking skirt with a thick band of what looked like what sweetgrass would look as braided, and barefoot in a black and white picture crouched down barefoot on what looked like to be dirt with a group of bushes and trees in the background of that black and white picture. There was a chain by her side though in her hand, and she thought it was funny to tell the story to many people how she had walked up behind him to hit him upside the head with a cast iron skillet which she kept hanging in the kitchen on the wall which I think was still hanging there in December 2020 along with the area of the cashew flower plant she pointed out to me above the doorway going from the kitchen to the dining room.
Thankfully what Grandpa Nichols had said about in reference to Grandma Nichols is concerned, I do not ever have to worry about such as in reference to my dead-ex-husband; he did not have any ring, we did not marry in a church, and then there is the additional portions of the actuality of ironies in reference to a backwards aspect of irony; however the ironic aspect additionally of Grandpa Nichols telling me so many times he wished I was his daughter, or at minimum he was glad his daughters might have a chance to learn a better way. I remember his daughter walking out to hear him say that which I told him to apologize as I knew exactly how she felt well before she ever knew to the level, of my own biological father and biological sister and biological mother. I knew how she felt in reference to her sister, just as I knew how she felt in reference to doing what she could for her children despite the circumstances; though the choices are still the choices, however despite several portions the level of which she never knew how much I actually had defended her to him had actually began his studies further in other aspects. He admitted he was trying to get a way to get through to her, as he knew she was the youngest female and she did not realize at the time how much she actually had been his little girl.
He did not hate her, he hated her choices. He gave her the background check to who is her three eldest's biological father, and she did not care to take the warnings seriously. He told her of the connections and when he saw what I did after I showed him where on Marissa I found what I had, if she were to remember correctly; he did warn her further, and the arguments were worse after that time because he could not tell her what he knew or how, referencing the situation regarding the larger overall of the McDonalds event situations. When he learned about Sondra shortly after when we talked, his other daughter would know what discussions were about in a way. Just as he rightfully complained in my opinion, the warnings were not taken seriously though I would guesstimate he is glad he does not have to physically be around for the repetition of history as certain situations had gone; though he was not happy in the slightest, in reference to those pictures in his house and what once was his room.
#SusanMeeLingFindASilverLining60DaysOfThanksChallenge also known as the #60DaysofThanksChallenge#SusanMeeLingFindingTheSilverLining60DaysOfThanksChallenge also known as the #SusanMeeLing60DaysOfThanksChallenge#60DaysOfThanksChallenge#SusanMeeLing60DaysOfThanksChallenge
