...Just a few examples...
I cannot be the only person who has had other people involved in my life of which have been distastefully a problem of which they come across as nothing more than a stain on society and though in my second book "Finding the Silver Lining By: Susan MeeLing" I did not name the individuals by name, I shall give certain clarifications in this particular blog journal. However I will state though I had begun a different blog journal entry due to problems with technology on my computer, that particular writing went out to the wind. I will not be rewriting such due to the frustration it took to get as far as I had only to remind me, why I prefer typewriters and older computers instead of this newer technological stuff some people claim is easier to use. However if this stuff was easier to use, then the amount of work I have done over the years would not have been lost because of the problems from technology. I know I am not the only one who has had such issues and with such technically, there is the first labeling name. If I am inaccurate I dare anyone who has never had any problems with any type of technology to prove me otherwise and show me where they have never once ever had any problems at any point in time with any technology, though I guesstimate even someone like Mr. Gates could not truthfully admit to such and thus; I rest that case.
My dead-ex-husband's family: My Ex-In-Laws
Susan (goes as Susie/Suzy) Marie Nichols-Lopez (though could be remarried now):
There had been several stories of which I wrote of in reference to my ex-in-laws though in particular in reference to this female and her children which she bred into existence, the amount of law breaking which occurred was astronomical. Susie had been born in Fort Polk Louisiana as I had been told though was moved to Fort Worth near Anglin Drive to live on Dorsey Street of which she told me she was pregnant a few times, and never once regretted the abortions she had before her first daughter Brieanna Marie Lopez was born; who subsequently had two children the last time I knew them, by two different fathers and Susie refused to press charges against the father of the first child who Brieanna was 14 when she was pregnant and the father was over 18 years old. As Susie explained to me, sh "preferred the extra income from the government system" as Susie had already explained she had destroyed her children's financial credit history because of using the information to get power turned on using their credit files. Thus when Brieanna attempted to go to college she was later denied because of the credit issues her mother had caused her. Susie had also admitted to doing so to her middle daughter Marissa Marie Lopez as well as her son Joseph Anthony Lopez; of which all had grown up through the Welfare system of The United States of America's government.
When I was pregnant with my son Susie had been the one who told me to go to get WIC (Women Infant Children) assistance and as soon as I could get myself and my children off of the assistance because I was able to sustain them, I did as quickly as possible. Albeit I was rated with a higher VA Disability rating shortly after being on WIC, and once that was done so too was the WIC program; which annoyed Susie immensely. She told me "You could just milk that and get the benefits instead of letting them go" but I told her "I am not interested in keeping myself and my children on government assistance if the possibility to make better choices allows for a better income to have such assistance for those who need in in comparison, and if you choose to there will be a day which the government benefits dry up because of too many taking advantage of such and what will you do then if you never tried to better yourself?" She told me "That'll never happen to me" and I said "Maybe not, but your children; and then what?"
When I had moved my children and myself to the Carrollton Texas area and Susie wanted to go shopping she had showed me a clothes punching gun which could change the tags of the prices on the clothing which she showed her children how to use in the store so they could purchase more clothes for less prices, than the stores had already marked the clothes down to at Ross. Another aspect she taught her children of which I admit one time I did before knowing what was going on and one time the male I was engaged to before our engagement had done and once I found out what was going on, I told him I was not willing to do that nor should he be willing to do that for Susie. If she as well as his ex-girlfriend combined got in between us and our engagements, I can honestly say (which I am always honest anyway); I would never forgive Susie nor his ex-girlfriend for getting between him and I of our engagement. Though there was a male before him I would have trusted enough to get on the back of his motorcycle (which for me is a really big deal), I was willing to spend the rest of my life with the one I was engaged to; which in some ways is a much bigger deal for someone like me who has gone through the experiences I have. Actually accepting a ring is a massive deal to someone like me when being proposed to in person. I know my books "Finding A Silver Lining By: Susan MeeLing" especially but also "Finding The Silver Lining By: Susan MeeLing" truly emphasize such.
What Susie would do is knowingly purchase stolen items from Home Depot and/or Lowes (she worked at Lowes for awhile) and accumulate a large number of items before taking all of them in together to get a store credit gift card of which she would use to spend on her mom's property on Dorsey in Fort Worth to revamp the garden and yard, as well as the house interior and exterior. She had asked me to do so once as well as Shaun once before telling me the items were stolen, and then when I threw a fit about it she was mad at me because of my "goody two shoe-ness". Though I explained to Shaun what occurred, he was far more forgiving of her than I was at the time. I warned him of several other aspects of which I wrote of and though he may not have realized how seriously I took his proposal, there were plenty of times when I was modeling even though the photographers did not want the ring in the picture I told them respectfully "that is a quick fix and you know that". Some photographers did not mind nor were bothered at all as they were proficient in photo-shop, whereas others thought the ring was a nice addition to the pictures taken.
Susie had multiple issues far more than those which I had written of, though the worst part in my opinion is she taught her daughters and her son to continue on with the same behaviour patterns even though I warned her against such. Though I hoped her children would turn out better than her, I could only do so much for them as well as my own children. When everything started getting more hectic with McCoy Elementary School of Carrolton Farmers Branch Independent School District instead of all the government assistance she found for herself to help my children and I; she preferred to keep such to herself and tell me "If it happened to your son then I would care, but not your daughter. She doesn't carry on the last name, the way James does." I told her "It should not matter if it is James or Lidia having the problems they are having for you to help, they are your niece and nephew and equally should be cared for and about. I do not comprehend why you would choose one over the other with as many complaints as you have had about the way your parents treated you as you have claimed, and as many lies as you have told me about such; I do not know what is wrong with you."
When going back to Fort Worth after my daughter had been out of the hospital for a short amount of time Susie's eldest daughter Brieanna thought it would be a funny game to play a voicemail message left on her Grandma's phone of my daughter and son's biological father's voice and tell Lidia "Listen he's here" and when I saw and heard what was occurring I pulled the Kia Sedona van over to the side of the road, grabbed my daughter out of the car-seat, and consoled her while yelling at Brieanna for being so careless. Though Susie defended Brieanna's actions, I still cannot understand or comprehend how such could be considered as a "funny game". It took everything in me not to snap her neck for doing so to my daughter just as it took everything in me not to beat her mother Susie into the ground for thinking that was funny, to do to my daughter. Though I would guesstimate such would not be considered funny to anyone else who had even half of a working heart, in comparison. Grandma Nichols just sat in the chair listening and not saying a word though then again, Grandma Nichols had crushed glass to feed to her cousins in the Domincan Republic and had put fiberglass shavings into feminine products at work at the M and M bottling company; as well as having put three boxes of Ex-lax into one box of brownies because of the employees she worked with. I suppose her staying silent when that occurred was a similar pattern of behaviour to what she had done before, including having run over Grandpa Nichols' foot and leaving him at the house instead of taking him to the hospital of which later he had to have his toe amputated because of the damages to. When he was in the Dallas VA hospital and the IV had infiltrated again, I was the only one who went to the nurse station to get a doctor to look over him to ensure the proper medical care; whereas my now dead-ex-husband, his mom, his sister Susie, and her children watched and di nothing to help him.
After my dead-ex-husband's death at Fort Sam Houston in The Warrior Transition I had his body sent to the Dallas/Fort Worth Texas area because I knew his dad would not drive to San Antonio for the funeral, because his mom could not handle driving long periods of time, and because his brother would have an easier time to get to the funeral with his family; though also taking into consideration the cost of flights in and out of DFW Airport was much easier and cheaper, I knew the extended family who could get out to the area would be able to go to the funeral with less hassle than if in San Antonio Texas. Though I did not have to by any legal stance but because we were over and there had been no chance before his death which would reunite that marriage as well as him being the baby of that family, I thought it was the morally ethical thing to do. I told Susie who wanted Robert to have a Catholic funeral she knew he was an Atheist and though I was not raised Catholic and did not know the funeral rites of the Holy Roman Catholic Church, "I don't think that is a good idea" of which Susie said "Who's gonna know?" I told her "I think you should reconsider as I think if The Vatican finds out, there is nothing you can do to undo that and you will be lucky if they allow you any leniency" which she scoffed at my points. Though the funeral rights did occur at Saint Anthony's Catholic Cathedral in Fort Worth and the Priest did complete the funeral rights for the Nichols family, I felt sick the entire time. I had warned the Priest of the aspects of the stuff the Nichols family put into his casket and I told the Priest he "has the right to refuse those people", but he did the funeral rights in the cafeteria instead of the Cathedral, though a part of me wonders if that was still considered unacceptable to The Holy Roman Catholic Church because of the Priestly responsibilities and vows; though Susie and her family did not seem to care including the eldest sister Mary Evongelina (maiden name Nichols) O'Steen. Mary for whatever reason she claimed thought it was ironic to have Robert buried with Catholic funeral rights, because of her beliefs against his Atheist beliefs. Each of the family members of the Nichols had put a religious item into the casket of which I did not agree nor allow with the exception of my children putting in a toy for their father, because I also did not realize an actual Priest was going to do the official rights of the funeral until when arriving. I thought when Susie discussed the initial points the wake was going to be done at the Catholic church but the rights were going to be done at the funeral home, and my misunderstanding I tried to rectify as soon as I found out with each person that weekend.
Mary Evongelina (Nichols) O'Steen and Susie Marie Nichols-Lopez when told by the Chief Warrant Officer 3 of their brother's theft of valor and having self-awarded himself several medals and ribbons from The United States of America's Armed Forces Army Branch, they complained and said the Chief Warrant Officer 3 did not know what he was talking about. They tried to say to the Chief Warrant Officer 3 he "didn't know what Army medals and ribbons are and you need to be educated correctly of what medals and ribbons are supposed to be on the uniform." I stopped them from continuing to disrespect the Chief Warrant Officer 3 in the Laurel Land Funeral Home, took the Chief Warrant Officer 3 outside for a walk and a smoke, and when those people stopped following the Chief Warrant Officer 3 and I; I asked him to explain to me what was going on at the time so I could help. The Chief Warrant Officer 3 asked me "Would you be surprised if I told you Robert lied about the medals and ribbons on his Dress Blues?" I asked the Chief Warrant Officer 3 "Do you know what my time with that male was like, or are you testing me?" The Chief Warrant Officer 3 asked me "Would you be surprised?" I said "Chief, I have to be honest as the marriage to him was extremely abusive and he had lied about IRR. I told him he could not pick the location where he would be stationed for IRR when he told me he was called back into the Army on IRR status, so in short Sir; no I would not be surprised if you told me that. However because of the abuse in the marriage I had to tell you that so you knew I was not being biased because of what I experienced before the final separation before he went to training and then to Iraq."
The Chief Warrant Officer 3 looked at me while smoking his cigar and I smoked my cigarette before asking me "Would you be mad to know we changed the picture from the memorial service so the medals and ribbons were faded out?" and I said "Chief, if that prevented the soldiers who attended his memorial despite the fact the date was changed and the excuses given to me on the phone in the car outside of Austin today, if that prevented those soldiers from losing their s*** during the memorial; I do not blame you or anyone else for removing those from view. However you know at some point they will have to know about that in full detail right, Chief?" He nodded and added "Yes, I have a feeling they will. Oh, my God." I said "Chief while I appreciate you taking the time out of your day and the bigger golf game you could be playing " Chief interrupted me saying "I really didn't expect you to say that to me. " I asked "Chief, what did you think I was going to say? Have you read my file before you came out here?" The Chief Warrant Officer 3 said "I perused through the information yes, but I didn't think this would be how this went." I said "Chief, if you knew what I went through then what did you expect my response to be? Did you think I was going to be bitter about him stealing valor or did you think I was going to be okay with such?" The Chief Warrant Officer 3 said "I honestly had no idea, how this would go. Oh my God, I am glad it went much better than I expected."
I said "Chief, if you thought I was going to be bitter about him stealing valor, you were accurate; though I guesstimate for different reasons. I am bitter because he had the nerve to do so and he thought he could get away with it and I am bitter because those who earned such actually earned those medals and ribbons. I am bitter for them, because they actually did what it took to genuinely earn those. If you thought I was going to yell at you, why would you think such? You didn't falsely award yourself, did you?' He shook his head signaling no and I said "You knew and know better than that right?" He nodded his head signaling yes and I said "So you know the reasons for each one of those medals and each one of those ribbons are because though there is so much which each medal and ribbon stands for, The United States of America could not pay in monetary value the cost for each soldier's action which has established and grown the country and The Constitution. You know that, correct? If you know that as I believe you do then you would know and comprehend why I am bitter for such choices to be done, as what each soldier sacrifices for this country to keep it going for the betterment of the world is so important to keep such as honorable as possible. I am not mad at who made the choice to fade those medals out of the picture because if he did not earn them, he did not earn them. Those medals and ribbons are a signifying trait of what each soldier has done to earn such, and what they themselves have been thanked for their service to this country. It may not seem as much for the people who do not know what each took, but it means so much to each individual soldier who has earned them. To take that away from those who have genuinely earned that and to falsely award to allow others to think such is considered as okay, is reprehensible Chief; So, I am not mad at you but I am infuriated with him and for anyone like or similar to him." Though we talked and walked a bit more, those discussions did not have to do with Robert though I had told him I would handle the family, and keep him and his safe from their garbage as best as I could.
When we returned to the building of the funeral home I walked over to Susie Marie Nichols-Lopez and Mary Evongelina (Nichols) O'Steen and said, "The Chief Warrant Officer 3 explained to me what occurred and you are to leave him alone because he will not answer you since you are not the Executrix, as I alone am. You will be informed of what I found out after I speak with your brother and your husband. I am not dealing with your over-emotional bulls*** right now." I walked to where David and Tony were to give them the brief rundown of what the Chief Warrant Officer 3 and I discussed before asking where Grandpa Nichols was, as he and I needed to speak. When they pointed to where he was standing next to Robert's casket, I walked over to Grandpa Nichols and said "Grandpa Nichols when you have a moment, you and I need to talk. I know your daughters told you about the Chief being here and we need to discuss a few matters." He nodded and said he needed a few more minutes with Robert looking briefly at the faded picture, seemingly knowing why it had been faded out among the sides of the image. When he was done Grandpa Nichols came outside to where I was smoking as we would talk at his house and asked me "what was going on?" I told him of the conversation in full with the Chief Warrant Officer 3 and he lowered his head shaking in disgust before saying "I'm sorry, I didn't think he would do that." I told him "It is not your fault for his choice to have stolen valor, but you know what that means right?"
He nodded and I told him about the memorial service change as well as a few other points because by then, I learned my funeral director the E7 was direct ordered not to attend the funeral. I called him and asked him to come out but I also knew the travel time would be too long for him to be able to make it out to the funeral; though I told him I would need to see him when I got back to San Antonio. However the red flags of the amount of higher ranking soldiers at the E5 funeral was enough for me to know, there was much more I needed to do for my children as James and Lidia needed answers for their father's memorial service; and inevitably I promised Grandpa Nichols and Grandma Nichols for the cause of death of their youngest son that I could find. Though I did not have to keep the extended family of the Nichols informed, I chose to even though my promise had only been to Grandpa and Grandma Nichols; though Susie Marie Nichols-Lopez and Mary Evongelina (Nichols) O'Steen seemed to think because I made the promise to their mom and dad, that extended to them in entitlements of which I clarified it did not.
The issues which arose through Mary Evongelina (Nichols) O'Steen had been after she told the family in the front yard of the house on Dorsey of her pulling a loaded revolver on a male who was trying to make a phone call because his car broke down and he could not get into his house at her house in Macon Georgia, she laughed with the group in the front yard. When she talked about holding another male at gun point because of the dog (a Bloodhound named Elvis) supposedly being taken from her front porch and in his house and had the dog in his house, she was proud to have gotten the dog back; but was mad at me for asking "Was it your dog or was it his dog?" Mary Evongelina (Nichols) O'Steen claimed she could tell it was her dog mainly because of the type of howling, though when I pointed out to her "Bloodhouns have a similar sounding howling" she grew angrier at the points of truth. She along with her two daughters Sondra Marie O'Steen and Ariel Marie O'Steen came to San Antonio Texas for Mary's husband David O'Steen's graduation from Basic Training and when she wanted to go to a coffee shop and I found The Candlelight Coffee House on North Saint Mary's in San Antonio, when we drove out there and went to walk inside Mary Evongelina (Nichols) O'Steen was infuritiated at me for not knowing it was a gay bar. I looked at her and asked "What do you mean this is a gay bar? I just see people having fun, and a good time." She pointed at the three males who came out of the coffee house holding hands in disgust and threw a fit because I was not offended as to seeing them having fun together and when she confronted me about being so non-chalant about their choices I said "I don't care what the adults choose to do in their adult time, if they want to go have fun that way and they all consent; who am I to tell them no? They are grown up and they know what they enjoy, so what if you don't like it?" Mary said "But my daughters might have seen that when they walked by right in front of us, what do you have to say about that?" I said "The fact that you chose to want to get coffee at 10:30pm and you did not think there would be adults out but you consider it okay for your children to be out, is beyond understanding. I don't care what you think I should think because I don't care what they do not because I don't care, but because they are old enough to make their own decisions. You want to bring up your children and yet you are the one who is taking them out for a cup of coffee instead of having them go to bed, because you wanted a cup of coffee. Why should the adults have to suffer because you wanted to take your children out when getting a cup of coffee?"
Though later we returned to the apartment at Lincoln Green after stopping at Jim's restaurant because Mary Evongelina (Nichols) O'Steen felt that was more important than getting rest before going to her husband's Air Force graduation the next day showed me of the monstracities of which I defended David against the first time I met Mary Evongelina (Nichols) O'Steen; because she was made at him for quitting his job to join The United States of America's Air Force. I told her when she complained "What if he chose the Air Force instead of any other branch because it was a safer military branch and even though you might not like it, it guarantees he returns home to you? Or do you not want him to return home to you, and that is your problems with David's choice?" Mary Evongelina (Nichols) O'Steen looked at me with horror in her eyes as I then asked "What if David chose to join the Air Force because he saw certain aspects of the Air Force that are a guarantee for him and you and yet a business cannot give the same to him that he sees is necessary, but you want to complain for no reason other than you think you are inconvenienced whereas he is the one actually putting his life on the line?" When she tried to speak I interrupted asking "What branch of the Armed Forces for The United States of America does more for the cushy jobs than the Air Force, currently? With what is about to go on you better thank God your husband chose to go into the Air Force, you stupid b****." Which Mary Evongeline (Nichols) O'Steen rolled her eyes and said "You know I will never forget what you just said to me and I will make you pay for that" of which I said "If you try the hellfire which will reign down upon you will be nothing a single drop of your blood could put out as if you try, well let me just say this sugar; I can either be your best friend, or your worst enemy. I recommend you chose where I am your best friend because if you chose you prefer me as your enemy, there will be more than just me that you piss off and if so; when that occurs, you will be so far beyond there will be no penance for you." David's face turned bright red and he went outside for a brief moment to check on his Harley Davidson motorcycle and when I walked out front I joked "Hey David! Did you get that motorcycle because your name is in there?" He looked at me and shook his head, "Not fully."
...JUST A FEW EXAMPLES...
Though the above are just a small group of examples of which I have dealt with in regards to my ex-in-laws I know I am not the only person who has had experiences of such others' choice of indiscretion of which has left one baffled, as to how could such people exist in the world in this day and age? Though I did not approve of their choices or behaviours in malfeasance as they had done (not all of my ex-in-laws though the ones I listed in the above writings as they had chosen and obviously not all of them were as bad as others); I cannot believe I am the only person who has dealt with such in life. If there are ways for justice to occur for the betterment of humanity in comparison to what those have done that I have written, I hope I am able to assist with bringing the justice to those who have caused such. Though I have never claimed to be the most perfect person and never said I was the easiest person to get along with, no one should ever have to endure such cruelty. Though my biological family chose to side with my dead-ex-husband when he was alive as his family had chosen to support him instead of my children and I for how he treated me, and both sides of that had chosen to ostracize me from various aspects before getting upset when they did so which pushed me so far away only to try to control me when they did not get their way; I tried what I could to be better and rise above what they did.
One could joke about my middle name which I have used as my last name for many years of MeeLing and the translation of. My Great Grandfather explained to me my name MeeLing means Lotus blossom and innocent flower, but in reference to the Lotus and how such grows from the muddiest and darkest waters to pierce through to rise above the clearest waters to blossom into a beautiful life; and maybe one day such can be seen and be shown as more.
I chose the blue lotus for my tattoo of such because the spiritual meaning as well as the color of a truly blue lotus which has not been genetically altered in a lab is the most rare of all Lotus flowers, as pink is fairly common as is white, yellow is more difficult to find; but the blue lotus is of specific legends and the proportions thereof are of the most hidden. I was able to see a dried blue lotus blossom my Great Grandfather had brought with him from when he immigrated to The United States of America from China to escape from Mao Ze Tung because my Great Grandmother was Mandarin and my Great Grandfather was Cantonese among the various papyrus scrolls he had throughout his Manhattan New York apartment, which I learned the information throughout each of those scrolls. He also showed me the dried green lotus (not a green lotus because the flower had not grown to maturity but an actual green blossom of the lotus), the dried red (not pink though veriegated) lotus, the dried purple (not a dyed color addition) lotus, and the dried lavender (not a light bleached color) lotus; all of which I learned may no longer be in existence because of whatever causes over the millennium. I was allowed to perform a specific ritual of which I read in those scrolls and I was allowed to do as what felt right for such, which my Great Grandfather was stunned and amazed as to my proficiency for such. Maybe one day all of that will equate to what he said I would be able to be, though I have been waiting for such for so long I am unsure of what more needs to be done.
I have outgrown the aspects of which had once been such a constraint of my existence with my biological family and my ex-in-laws as well as many others who have caused me harm for no reason of which I can understand. I have done what I could to be better and be at my best, despite the amount of pain I deal with each and every day from the Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury after effects. After so much more I am confused and I suppose one could joke, waiting for those to catch up to me since I discussed an occurrence which happened with a friend here at my apartment complex; of calling back to who I thought was my one, to run up to meet me. Hopefully the last few packets I will be mailing out on Monday will be of assistance for such, and those balls can get rolling quicker.
If you appreciate my journal blog please donate to my PayPal account through the button at the top of page, now! Thank you!
