MENTAL & EMOTIONAL: example from experiences in reference to #BDSM
There is no denial of the realities of which of I have faced and been through unless one wants to declare themselves as insane and should check themselves in to receive medical treatment for such, as certain ‘people’ I knew over the years should have gone for treatment for their mental health problems as I saw. For example there are some with medical experience who would have known much better than I thought at the time, for this situation in 2010. Had I known better during the time of when Phillip Omstead AKA ‘#BabyPhilly’ (on #Fetlife either the name of ‘#Darko’ or ‘#Donnie_Darko’ or the like in 2010 as that was his favorite movie to watch) had collapsed during a scene which he was being spanked, to then curl into a ball crying because of seeing my dead-ex-husband in front of his eyes during the scene where he wanted me to spank him for being a ‘bad little boy’. When ‘#BabyPhilly’ AKA Phillip Omstead panicked and did not say who he saw until a bit later thinking about the situation now is when I realize I would have called an ambulance to cart him off at that time instead, of letting ‘Baby-Philly’ who apparently needed a diaper change instead of a relationship.
What had been done instead of calling for an ambulance had been I picked him up to carry his body quivering and as ‘Baby-Philly’ AKA Phillip Omstead cried into the shower as and when I went to turn on the cold water so he could snap out of it, he had moved his body in a way which seemed though he was only doing such for attention instead of actually having been hurt. Had he not come out of the claimed panic attack in that manner, I then would have called the ambulance and though he remained in his short sleeve shirt and pair of medium blue color jeans. However, it took no more than 5 minutes before ‘Baby-Philly’ had finally stopped crying. As the clothes he was wearing were saturated with the shower water pouring down on him in the #CedarPark house in #Texas, it took him several minutes of sniveling until he realized I was not going to wrap my arms around him to coddle him. When ‘Baby-Philly’ realized I was not going to give him any type of #BDSM lifestyle after-care as he had wanted and did not say anything about until afterwards a few days later for such a short scene with minimal aspects which occurred, ‘Baby-Philly’ threw a tempter tantrum similar to ‘#CactusJack’s temper tantrum, when I told him to reconsider wearing his ‘151 road warriors’ t-shirt.
Though at the time I chose not to make a big deal about the situation, if because of ‘Baby-Philly’s AKA Phillip Omstead’s addiction to video games as he said he was a #professionalgamer though never went to any competitions that I saw or went to with and thus my interpretation of him being so addicted to video games he was incapable of distinguishing reality from the video game system; if I had understood back then better, I would not have tolerated such for the few months I had. Dating began in the middle of April around the 14th or so maybe the 20th of April 2010, and I broke up with him before or around July but before the middle of August 2010. Similarly to ‘#CactusJack’ AKA Jeffrey Kuykendall Jr, ‘#BabyPhilly’ AKA Phillip Omstead had to be driven back to the #Dallas area of #Texas to get him out just as ‘#CactusJack’ AKA Jeffrey Kuykendall Jr had to be driven back to #mysa #SanAntonio Texas to get out of and leave what was and had been my living accommodations with my children.
Neither of them or any of my ex-relationships were given my permission to keep in contact with my children ever, as an #FYI.
Neither seemingly took the hint of me telling them, “I am breaking up with you, it’s over.”
With the explanations as to why, to be a in their words ‘a good enough reason to break up’. However once getting all of their stuff packed and put into the van to return them to where they came from, then they understood the relationship was over. It literally took that level of stuff on my part to get them out of my house and out of my life, of which each of them threw a temper tantrum and then said they wanted to walk through the house to make sure I did not forget anything of theirs in my house. I allowed such and then they got the last of what I did not see such as their computer or whatever, and they got out when I drove them back to their cities to live with their parents.
EMOTIONAL & SEXUAL: example
There have been people I have played with whose scene lasted far longer and had been much more intense in the scene and while there should not technically be comparisons to the pain-level thresholds nor to the time; when ‘#BabyPhilly’ AKA Phillip Omstead had cried about being spanked through his jeans as though it was actually a hard swing when it was less than any tap I had done to Pita with a feather during the scene in #Dallas Texas, I had a difficult time feeling the need to coddle him as though he was an actual baby. When he threw even more of a tempter tantrum because as he said ‘You’re not caring about me, the way you do about James and Lidia’; I stopped walking to go outside, for a cigarette. I turned around and asked ‘Baby-Philly’, “Did I carry you in my uterus for nine months, to deliver you?” When ‘Baby-Philly shook his head side to side signaling ‘no’; I said “It shouldn’t take a head injury to figure out that since I did not do that, I am not about to care about you in the way I do my children. Stop whining like a little b****, and get the f*** away from me right now.”
It was not until several months after we had broken up I had been informed ‘Baby-Philly’ was using one of my custom made floggers of #Buffalo hide, which had been custom ordered online through a company in #Houston #Texas. For clarification, the female and I had emailed back and forth in reference to the weight levels of between 6 and 9 ounces, as well as the cut of the ends of the falls for each of the pieces; before she said she could glue the two together to make the flogger as I wanted. Though I guesstimate if she saw my size frame, she probably would not have expected such a short female to be swinging that buffalo hide easily for hours. I had used that particular second flogger as I ordered them in a pair, on a friend who is like family. She took a far harder swing from any hand of her Dominant/husband as well as mine; than Baby-Philly had at that time and she was bare bottomed.
SPIRITUAL & PHYSICAL & EMOTIONAL: example
While in the house at Cedar Park there were several problems within the building only when ‘Baby-Philly’ AKA Phillip Omstead was there, which immediately cleared out as soon as he left the building. First there was an infestation of flies which stayed only in the area of the back-patio door, which I had taken pictures of with my cellphone to send to the rental house managers which the flies covered the entire window area of the back-patio door. As many chemicals as I use to clean and used far stronger chemicals than I do now back then, there should not have ever been any problem with flies. The flies only remained in the area closest to where ‘Baby-Philly’ AKA Phillip Omstead would play his video games, and when he left the house; looking back now. Secondly the heater in the HVAC system had problems in the winter time to keep the house warm in Cedar Park, which the rental house owners did take a while to get the HVAC system repaired; but there were never any problems with the HVAC system once ‘Baby-Philly’ was out of the house and away from me in a complete other area in the state of Texas than I.
This of course did not include the fact one day ‘#BabyPhilly’ AKA Phillip Omstead had shown me the scratches on his back which he said he felt when at work at #PizzaHut one day, but did not show physically until he was in the house at Cedar Park after he played a #HALO video game with a male he was speaking with online through the headset who was telling #BabyPhilly of his time in The #UnitedStatesofAmerica’s #AirForce. When ‘#BabyPhilly’ told me he had been playing a video game with an Air Force #Colonel, I said my appreciation for the officer’s service and then ‘#BabyPhilly’ told that Colonel who had said as such; as well as told that Colonel of my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury; though he had not been given my permission to speak about such, that choice was made all by himself. When he showed me the scratches on his back, I had warned him of who had done so to him but he did not want to listen to me. Then he wanted to go to a store in Austin which sold witchcraft supplies for a cleansing, which he had been warned that male could not perform what was necessary; but that male showed up at the behest of ‘#BabyPhilly’s AKA Phillip Omstead’s whining and complaining and had been aid in cash because ‘#BabyPhilly’ AKA Phillip Omstead thought someone else could perform a cleansing of my dead-ex-husband instead.
I warned him, “That is a huge mistake, on your part. You do not know, what you are succumbing him and yourself to in that regard.”
Though less than a month later, ‘#BabyPhilly’ AKA Phillip Omstead was out of the house; despite the fact he had gone with me to the #TempleofFlesh #UniformFetishBall the last year available of which I had performed a dance to the swing version of the #NationalAnthem of #TheStarSpangledBanner; albeit after having broken up with ‘#BabyPhilly’ AKA Phillip Omstead and not having had been wanted to be there. Though I had been given pointers of how to perform as ‘#BabyPhilly’ AKA Phillip Omstead said he was in a band years before and had a song on the radio but because it was a few seconds too long, he and his band were not considered good enough to continue on. He said his ex-girlfriend Abby had been the reason why he left the band, though later said the band broke up because of another member in the band. Though he never said what the name of the band was or if he did, I did not remember the name of the band or the one-hit-wonder song he said they had; ‘#BabyPhilly’ AKA Phillip Omstead said he had never gotten over Abby because “she had found someone who was better than he could be”.
Whatever the case was, ‘#BabyPhilly’ AKA Phillip Omstead had shown his lack of ability, in many ways.
SEXUAL & EMOTIONAL: example
Though admittedly as Pita said she “was a dot and not a feather”, the swats from the feather I used were far stronger than any strike ‘Baby-Philly’ had taken that day. Such is an example for those who are in the military and/or veterans of The United States of America to know the difference of which your pain and suffering is more important to pay attention to, than those similar to ‘#BabyPhilly’; at least to me, for what that is worth. Though not to make light of the needs for mental health assistance to someone like that, but those who are in situations where you feel as though your situations which have lead you through life in a way which has been of a path of in person compared to that which video games seem to have altered the sense of and for reality and humanity; you are far more humane in many ways despite what others thoughts might be; at minimum to me, as well as to those who have endured such similar to you. I hope soon that sort of view of which the desensitizing of video game usages upon the youth can be handled in a better way; to ensure a better future of better people, in the modern times.
Later after I broke up with ‘#BabyPhilly’ AKA Phillip Omstead, I had informed Pita of what I had learned to let her know to be tested because he had not told me of such beforehand. As he had later admitted to contracting herpes while in a band but after the end of the relationship ended to inform me of what he had, I felt it was important tell Pita. Though I was checked out and cleared in all ways of any sexually transmitted diseases over the years repeatedly, I felt it was important to inform her since she had sex with him. After having moved to Cedar Park, ‘#BabyPhilly’ AKA Phillip Omstead said he once had been in an online relationship with a female dominant in #Spokane #Washington. When he told me they were together before I knew as well as before having begun dating, I reached out to her to apologize for not knowing he was in any relationship at all; as I am not the type of person which ever would be like that who is willing to do as he had. I had not heard back from her when I messaged her on #Fetlife, though I did tell ‘#BabyPhilly’ AKA Phillip Omstead after I sent the message on fetlife to her.
Now with the understanding of online hacking and online stalking as well as the fact as I had left my laptop out in the open without knowing of such type of things as a possibility, if there were issues; that would not be the only person who had been around the laptop while it was open.
For a brief list of people who had been around my laptop(s) and/or desktops and/or cellphones that are alive as far as I know with the physical ability to touch one or all of:
*2000 and then 2003 on and off through 2012: my biological mother Anna Louise (Lally) Hom, my biological sister Patricia Anna (Hom) Miller, and my biological father who really had little interest in computers Michael Lee Hom
*2001 then again in both 2008 and in 2009: Mary Evongelina (Nichols) Osteen and her 2 daughters Sondra Marie Osteen and Ariel Marie Osteen
*2003: one of the neighbors who had technology experience and saved me from the full repercussions from when I had accidentally caught the laptop on fire and was able to get the dissertation off of the laptop in the Pheasant Creek subdivision in #mysa but I cannot remember his name
*2004: Christine of The Jade Wolfe Coven based out of #Seguin Texas and Thomas Marsden who failed out of #ROTC for the #UnitedStatesofAmerica’s #AirForce and whose grandfather had retired from the Air Force in San Antonio Texas; his grandfather had a house in San Antonio with an in ground pool with a wrought iron fence around the exterior of the pool before it was legally mandatory
*2005: Pam who was interested in the investigation of the #PattyVaughan case
*2006 through 2009: ‘#CactusJack’ AKA Jeffrey Kuykendall Jr, his former girlfriend Jamie Robles AKA (others’ nickname for her) ‘#LazyEye’, ‘#CactusJack’s AKA Jeffrey Kuykendall Jr’s little brother Jeremy Kuykendall and his then fiancé Leslie (I was not informed of her last name but I think she was from #Plano #Texas) as the two met in college at either #UTSA or #SanMarcosUniversity
*2008 through 2010: Susie Marie (Nichols) Lopez, her 2 daughters Brieanna Marie Lopez and Marissa Marie Lopez, as well as her son Joseph Anthony Lopez
*2009: Sean Leonard of Carrollton Texas
*2009: Though I cannot remember his name he said he was an anesthesiologist who went to #LSU and had a daughter named Hailey
*2009-2011 on and off: Shawn McCaul of #NTB in Carrollton Texas
*2010: ‘#BabyPhilly’ AKA Phillip Omstead
*2011-2012: Patrick Kennedy
*2012: Joey and Meg Estes
*2012: Ericka AKA ‘#discordia’ (who had been arrested and went to jail in San Antonio for stealing other people’s garden gnomes) and her submissive Alicia (whose dad was able to become a #Mustang in the #KoreanWar and retired as a 4 Star #General in the #UnitedStatesofAmerica’s #AirForce and lived in #Albuquerque #NewMexico) and their friends who were involved with them
*2012: Matthew West who I met in #SCUBA during the #NationalGeographic Open Water classes at #InternationalSCUBA and had heard my biological mother yell at me for being upset about the relinquishing of legal parental rights
*That does not take into account those who may have gone through my bags or my car when at Club Sapphire or any other location without my permission
In the reevaluation of such a time, I can acknowledge my inability to discern those who would lie as in my thoughts since I cannot lie nor think to tell a lie; I had not taken into consideration ever I might be the only one, who would think that way. However such issues of which may not have association with or may have association with causing problems for my Medal of Honor Art Project; I had not given anyone permission to represent me in a public format of performances or the like until today 10 February 2020 through the #Wix partnership company outside of #SenatorJohnCornyn in 2008 and then #POTUS #GeorgeWBushII in 2008 as aside from them and their staff and administration for what was occurring at that time, no one seemed interested in me for anything. Though I had a publically appointed lawyer who assisted my situation with my daughter in the San Antonio Family Court, that was appreciated but also different in reference to writings/art/and the like.
After that time it was not until 2013 through #Amazon of the publishing of my books and then when I had contacted #SenatorPattyMurray about my first two books in reference to my daughter Lidia and ensuring her safety, but later in 2013 of adding #SenatorMariaCantwell, #CongressmanDerekKilmer, #CongressmanAdamSmith, and their staff about my Medal of Honor Art Project as well as having landed at the bottom of the ocean and surfacing after the #USSVandenberg #USNSVandenberg SCUBA Dive; along with #CID of #JBLM #JointBaseLewisMcChord, the #TacomaPolice, the #FBI, the #CIA, the #Pentagon, the #WhiteHouse, #POTUS45, the #FirstFamilyoftheUnitedStaesofAmerica, #FirstLadyMelaniaTrump, #VPOTUSMikePence, #SecondLadyoftheUnitedStatesofAmericaKarenPence, the #SecondFamilyoftheUnitedStatesofAmerica, #POTUS44 and his wife and family of the #Obama, prior Vice President and his family #JoeBiden, #POTUS43 and his wife and family #GeorgeWBushII, former Vice President #DickCheney, #POTUS42 and his wife and family the #Clinton, #POTUSJimmyCarter and his wife and family, the prior #VPOTUS es and their spouses and families, the #HouseofCongress, the #HouseofSenate, #NOAA, the #SupremeCourt, the #Army headquarters, the #AirForce headquarters, the #CoastGuard headquarters, the #MarineCorps headquarters, the #Navy headquarters, the #NSA, #google, #facebook, #apple, #ATT, #gmail, #microsoft, and their various administrations and staff among many others.
Though I had also contacted #TheHolyRomanCatholicChurch #Nomenclature, the headquarters for #AngelMoronisChurchofJesusChristofLatterDaysSaintsFoundedByReverendJosephSmith AKA #TheMormons AKA #JesusChristofLatterDaySaints, headquarters for the #JehoviahsWitnesses, headquarters for the #SeventhDayAdventists, headquarters for the #ChurchofScientology, headquarters for the #AmericanJewishCenter, the #JCC, #TempleBethHatfiloh in #Olympia #Washington, #TempleBethEl in #Tacoma Washington, the #NativeAmericanLegion, and others for the religious and spiritual aspects of my Medal of Honor Art Project and later about my SCUBA Diving as well. Of course not forgetting the various news and media organizations as well, and driving to hand deliver the books to the San Antonio FBI office a few months after driving out the NSA office in #WashingtonDC.