For clarification purposes in regards to my Modeling and more


A modeling picture I did when in my house when in Carrollton Texas, before everything went as it had over the years. I had redesigned everything and then what occurred, and the aspects of the aftermath.




I have heard about people who have been contacted and picked up for contractual work and though I have sent my books for specific assistance to become known for the author aspect, contacted about in reference in hopes of being a model/actress, completed several journal blog entries for attempts to get information out similar to news journalism in hopes of someone being interested in a positive way, and continued with my creative endeavors; I do not believe a better time than now, for such. Then again I have not been holding my breath for one aspect and have been diligently doing what I could, in hopes one day I might actually be noticed for my endeavors to pay off in my favor. No better time than the present, right? I would have thought by now something I did would be considered as worthwhile and please read my prior blog entry in regards to the aspects of the Medal of Honor recipient video footage response article and find the points in reference to a prior journal blog I wrote for further understanding, though I am truly starting to wonder; up to even beyond my idea for The Underwater Travel System, and yet not receiving a response continues such wonderings. While I have done what I could to not waste time, I was hoping it was not for nothing.

For clarification:

One year many years ago on fetlife I had received a message among multiple threats at that time somewhere in 2011 fairly early in the year after my then fiancé had left for and returned to the State of Texas from #BasicTraining, asking if a picture that was sent to me had been me. I quickly responded stating I would not do something like nor similar to that, as I am personally quite demure in such a manner; though he knew before he left for Basic Training the year prior, of my modeling. While I have completed an array of different modeling including mainly corsetry, costumes, and dresses/gowns, I have never felt comfortable ever modeling in the nude. In turn, I have made the choice to never ever knowingly put myself into a situation of which my nudity ever showed, as such a type of modeling while I have enjoyed others’ modeling and seeing; I personally do not feel comfortable in such type of modeling, and my personal images prove as such the ones by my choice of course. An extremely good reference point would be the amount of times I had modeled for “Sam Lewis” of “Made By Sam”, not once had I ever agreed to nude modeling. Aside from accident wardrobe issues, never once had I ever willingly been a part of nude modeling nor videos; and I began modeling for Sam Lewis in 2010 through to 2013, and again recently in 2020. I will give a few extra examples of situations which had occurred, as well as the aftermath of such situations.

Quickly in reference to my now dead-ex-husband who I was in a different part of the city and had not seen him in 2 days before he was found DOA (Dead on Arrival) in his barracks room from a Mixed Medication Overdose and had died on the same day as Heith Ledger of the #Batman movie in 2008, there had been a point when he had shown me a picture he took of me when I had not known of it being taken. An example is a friend named Terry had seen the picture on the computer when I was looking for a different file and upon clicking on that folder, I freaked out not knowing my now dead-ex-husband had kept that after he said he deleted the picture. That was shortly before the first separation, and I did not care about the conversations I dealt with because of what I was shown. After the end of the first separation and upon finding the same image a second time around after having been forced into a relationship with ‘Cactus Jack AKA Jeffrey Kuykendall Jr’ in which my now dead-ex-husband had pointed out each and every flaw of mine (as though I had not already known what was physically wrong with me) in the garage in my house in #SanAntonio #Texas, and the two of them laughed at me. I dealt with the conversations from my now dead-ex-husband when Cactus Jack AKA Jeffrey Kuykendall Jr had tattle tailed on me, despite even after the final separation. After my now dead-ex-husband had returned from being stationed in Iraq to be in the “Warrior Transition Unit” he had confessed to me of showing that same picture overseas to various soldiers in his unit, among other confessions he made. I reminded him of certain spiritual things he had done in his choice to open my mediation altar and use my spiritual items without my permission, and the ramifications of such. He nodded his head in full understanding and comprehension and then a few weeks to a month after that, he was found in his barracks room.

***A SIDE NOTE***: Since his sister Mary Evongelina [Nichols] Osteen had been to the apartment in #LincolnGreen and had used the computer, hypothetically one could see easily of how much she defended incest if she was okay to have arranged that knowing her brother would be having sex in front of that computer; and the same thing in reference to her two daughter Sondra Marie Osteen and Ariel Marie Osteen, with a quick EWWW! What is the legal recourse for such illegal surveillance, or is there? I hope #legaljustice, immediately for each involved with such. Putting my then minor son and my minor daughter at risk because of such, I will not forgive; just as I had not forgiven my dead-ex-husband when he confessed to still having that one single picture nor have I forgiven Cactus Jack AKA Jeffrey Kuykendall Jr for willingly being a part of that situation; though especially for attempting to claim he felt he had been raped, when he had never experienced such.***

Another example is in reference to 2003, I met an individual in San Antonio Texas named Master Charles who was friends with Thomas Marsden. Thomas Marsden was more friendly with Christine of the ‘Jade Wolfe Coven’ which had begun in #Seguin Texas by a female named Jamie, who practiced what she said she called “Green Witchcraft”; albeit she along with the rest of those females, never knew how to do the #magickal aspects correctly. Whereas they had wanted me to join, I told them I was keeping them on probation until either they proved themselves to be individuals which I would feel comfortable becoming a part of the group or if they proved themselves not to be of who I would ever want to associate with. For the short of the long, I did not want to associate with them. While Christine who had been married to a male named Mike she met in her hometown of #Abilene Texas when he was stationed at the “Air Force” Base there and the two of them had 2 daughters and 1 son which admittedly, Mike Christine’s husband had asked me to clean their house when I was staying on the couch and Christine complained about the smell of bleach used. When in my apartment off of “USAA Boulevard” before the “9-1-1” phone call to try to get a female help and assistance because of a black SUV which drove into the front of the parking lot, instead of normal 9-1-1 questions, I was asked irrelevant questions instead and eventually hung up the phone while preparing my sword for use if necessary; as I was fully ready and willing to use to defend, if needed. However I did go to the #PrueRoad #SanAntonioPoliceStation to given information about such, just in case the detectives needed any additional information; if that case had not yet been closed out, as of that time. As I wrote when at the station my hair color and haircut were not of what it looks like now, I did not have any distinguishing tattoos, and I realized later after going there I had not changed my address to the address of that apartment because of going back to my house on a daily basis at that time. However for the tour I had given the apartment complex employees my military identification card as well as I think, my drivers license before moving into the apartment which was on the top floor with the patio facing the front entrance parking lot and I had explained I was sitting outside on the patio without the patio light on with my back to the Crepe Myrtle or Redbud tree which the branches hid my location from the view of the SUV. The apartment complex was off of USAA Boulevard however the road to get to there I usually took, is Huebner. I had wrote of such in my first book as well as the semi-truck accident on I35 going towards San Antonio Texas and though my haircut and hair color are similar to what I have now, it was in the dark and possibly the cameras on the semi-trucks were unable to pick up each aspect needed. However I was wearing a light blue with rainbows pattern v-neck short sleeve t-shirt, blue jeans, and sneakers on that day. There was a lot of blood all over my clothing and my sneakers, which I saw once getting back to my house in San Antonio Texas; as I was traveling back from Addison Texas, after looking at houses with a realtor. I tried to stay in case the law enforcement needed information from me, though I was told to leave later when the Police Officer arrived; and I drove my yellow VW Beetle convertible as told by the Police Officer.

***SIDE NOTE: I gave my VW Bug the name of Zippy, and got a few people to smile and chuckle every now and then when I told them my car looked like a girl #bumblebee. One particular male freaked out a bit when I showed him what I meant and made my car big enough for him to be able to sit inside of my car, though not until yesterday 13 May 2020 had I learned of a #Transformers character being called Bublebee. Later today I will be doing a video on my YouTube Channel Reverend MeeLing, for the oddities I have found in reference to such. Apparently, there is a movie too. Now the child’s rhyme “I’m bringing home a baby bumblebee, won’t my mommy be so proud of me! I’m bringing home a baby bumble bee,” is in my thoughts.***

When a childhood toy my biological parents called my “Second Victim of Child Abuse” had gone missing after ending the relationship with Thomas Marsden and my time in regards of the Jade Wolfe Coven as the “First Victim of Child Abuse” had been destroyed similarly, however the few pieces of fabric left had gone wherever they had. The “Second Victim of Child Abuse” only had the energy of which I had attempted to cope with the abuse I was dealing with when growing up as a child, and one can make a joke in reference to the fabric which had been similarly been cut when I was in Washington state despite not knowing of being followed and my Medal of Honor Art Project being tampered with. Those particular pieces of which the fabric had been cut and burned, were symbolic of exactly what had been done to the first and second “Victim of Child Abuse” toys from my childhood. I would not recommend anyone ever use those pieces of fabric as the karmic repercussions, would not be safe.

Conversely if when I was out during my Medal of Honor Art Project and certain pieces were found in certain locations, that might have been assistive to assist law enforcement to find those in need of help ironically; for only I would know, how to turn that energetic aspect around. If that hypothetically occurred and there were people who were found and brought to safety, I am glad; despite the circumstances thereof. Not a joke but in a joke way because of lack of better words on my part, if there were people who were able to find such and was the equivalent of a feather until law enforcement could find; my personal opinion, is good. I admit there were a few times I felt the need to let the fabric flow out of the car I was driving and if such fabric was found and was able to help until law enforcement could get there and/or gave law enforcement pause to then find and save; again, I am glad despite the circumstances. However if pieces were taken by those I have labeled as ‘cherubim ones’, then hypothetically is a way to trace potential abusers and/or already found guilty criminals.

Back to referencing aspects of Master Charles when at an event at #Crossroads San Antonio Texas he had arrived and was in the common area, and made a joke saying he knew what I looked like when I orgasmed. I asked him how since he and I had never ever been together, and a male ran over to Master Charles to inquire about what I looked like. Infuriated as well as embarrassed, I ran out to the smoking section. Around one or two weeks later from that event, Steven from the marriage to Jamie of Jade Wolfe Coven had been at the even with several females; and seemed scared to look me in the eyes, when he recognized me. I asked him why he seemed scared, and he turned his head away from me. A couple of weeks later a female who went by the name of Molly arrived with Steve and had asked me to play, though it took several events before I would agree to such. The stocks is where she ended up, and remained until she called red to end everything; and that ended instantly, though I had not swung nearly as hard as I could have. For those who know Pita, I swung harder with her than Molly. However looking back, that female who went by the name of Molly looked similar to Christine of the Jade Wolfe Coven; at that time of 2012, when that situation seeing Master Charles, Steve, and Molly.

***SIDE NOTE: I hope for karmic as well as legal repercussions for anyone who willingly and knowingly participated in such activities as well as for their children since then my minor son and my minor daughter were affected hypothetically because of such illegal surveillance, immediately. Not forgetting the fact by that time of 2012 had only been 12 years since waking up from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury of which when in Medical Hold Unit before becoming Warrior Transition Unit where I had to be retaught colors as well as how to count above the number of three though admittedly still having to use my fingers to count and get the number wrong, of which one could almost joke about having been reborn while remaining biologically old enough the other aspects of.***

Prior to all of that had been a time where I had gotten in trouble with Medical Hold Unit for going to a rave which I did not know was illegal to attend, in Austin Texas. I had a headache turn into a migraine and the female who went by the name of #PrincessJasmine had given me two pills which she said were Advils, and looked like Advil as the candy coating and the word #Advil stamped onto the pill. I later in the event was approached by the female’s male friend the only one who was at that event who was not from Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio Texas, and he asked how my headaches and migraines were. He then handed me two pills which looked like and tasted like grape #Flintstone’s Chewable vitamins, though were Tulip shaped. The next thing I knew, I was told I was in Brackenridge Hospital before my female #FirstSergeant from #PuertoRico had arrived to pick me up from the emergency room to take me back to Fort Sam Houston emergency room to get bloodwork done. Sometime that particular weekend that male who gave me the #Tulip pills was waiting outside of my barracks room door and was sitting on the floor, before getting up to yell at me for not telling anyone I was leaving. When I returned from the latrine because of needing to pee and not willing to listen, I then told him I was in the emergency room and what happened in my barracks room before the following Monday for formation. Then Sergeant Moreno came up to me in the Orderly room to ask me what happened and I told him when he then said “Oh my God, you had enough of just one of those in your system to put down a full grown adult elephant.”

Later I received an Article 15 for going to the rave in Austin Texas which had decorations on the CD cover of golden clawed lobsters for techno music, though no one believed me about the events at the time. I was put on restriction until I “could act like a soldier”, though later the restriction was removed when I went to #IG (Inspector General) and #EO (Equal Opportunity). Shortly after that removal of restrictions I saw the golden piece of paper for Special Forces and later in that week was recalled back to #CID (Criminal Investigation Division) for a different set of questions in reference to SPC Carolton taking cocaine while on active duty status, the female roommate who joined the #Army from Houston Texas who drove a green #Honda #Civic who was my roommate who had admitted to being an escort and later had contracted an STD which she had to remain in the barracks until the doctors cleared her, among several other questions the agents already knew the answer to. Thus the aspects of which occurred because of what happened before I was taken to Brackenridge had never been disclosed to me, nor had anyone ever told me about multiple aspects of which how I was found. However if there were individuals who had continued to perpetuate certain problems from that evening event such as the female who went by the name of Princess Jasmine, I hope for the retribution in full.

Nonetheless after being in Medical Hold Unit for awhile and then having been taken to a few places outside of Fort Sam Houston which had been before moving into Lincoln Green Apartments, I then got a job at the #OliveGarden on 35 and #Walzem/#Eisenhower Road. There I met a female named Crystal Lynn who also was a waitress who was starting new there, and after hanging out with her a few times I could no longer stand the sight of her. I agreed with her step-father of how much of a troublemaker she was as he called her as well as to the overdramatic aspects which she had been able to fly off the handle in regards of. The aspects which she attempted to tell me she was able to convince any male to do whatever she wanted simply by having sex with them disgusted me. She informed me of the ways she would manipulate her step-father and mother’s relationship so she was able to get away with multiple aspects caused my stomach to be queasy well beyond the pregnancy, shortly afterward. I told her I never wanted to see her again and if I had to I would only be cordial, though we would never be friends as we once were.

She tried crying to me to appeal to my feminity and I told her “A female who cries only to get sympathy to attempt to get out of trouble or to get her way is not the way to appeal to my good nature, however a female who works hard and progresses on her own merits will always have a place in my heart for the diligence and determination to better herself and those around her. A female who cries simply for attention without any form of ability to complete the most menial tasks because of the problems she caused without any actual regret or way to fix what was done or at least a starting point, will always receive less sympathy from me than a female who attempts to do more to make the situation better.” Then Crystal Lynn cried some more and I walked away from her as she plead, and continued throwing her temper tantrums. She was quite upset, I would not adhere to her complaints in the slightest.

Nonetheless, I have not been the individual who has ever felt comfortable in such a type of picture being taken of me. I know there are plenty of people who have felt comfortable with such, though that is something I just do not feel comfortable with in the slightest. I have never taken a selfie of that area, nor any modeling images either. You may call me old-fashioned, however I believe that particular aspect should be cherished and appreciated by whom I am in a relationship with and I personally have this particular aspect of respect as I have never wanted to give the wrong impression of myself for myself or to anyone. I admit to having enjoyed watching as I am a voyeur in regards of those who feel comfortable of being as open as such as I think that is a beautiful aspect of life, however I am just not that comfortable in such a setting and am quite private in that regard.

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