Perhaps due to the mail I received today which had a name which is similar in some ways to a #SCUBA Dive Instructor I once had many years ago which he and I did not get along whatsoever, though I had passed all of my classes to earn my certifications as to why I am writing this particular journal blog entry.
One evening back in 2009 when at #Huntsville Quarry in Huntsville #Texas there was a group of SCUBA Divers I was with around a campfire which at one point I had made mention of the fact of which certain situations regarding problems in reference to my now dead-ex-husband, the instructor stood up to yell at me while everyone was eating. He claimed he knew more about me than what he saw, and he claimed he would supposedly get to the bottom of what he saw at the time of what I was about. When asking what he meant to clarify, he claimed he knew I was only using the life insurance money from my now dead-ex-husband's policy to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I told him, he needed to back off and not test me. That male continued harassing me that evening in reference to his opinion compared to the facts as he claimed, as he knew as his words 'no one who looks like you should ever be allowed to do what we do.'
That situation was before class at Austin's Lake Travis, which the other instructors looked at him before looking at me as I lit a cigarette to keep myself calm as possible. At the time I simply left it that he was drinking alcohol which meant his temper was up, though he continued barrading me about finding something more important than #SCUBADiving to use my money on. When I informed him I was using my money in reference to my personal income in comparison to the insurance money to pay for my SCUBA Diving because I thought SCUBA Diving was important not just for me, though in general; I was simply laughed at, as the other Instructors looked on silently. Prior to the #LakeTravis situation that instructor told me 'you are the last person who deserves to be SCUBA Diving', which again I simply chalked it up to the alcohol he had been drinking. He said 'if it is the last thing I do, I will prove how incompetent you are at this.'
Well fast forward a few months later to when I went to #Cozumel #Mexico for my first ocean SCUBA Dives, and I landed at the bottom of the ocean each time to surface alive safely for each individual SCUBA Dive. Fast forward a couple of months later and when going to #BocaRaton #Florida to SCUBA Dive on a speed boat ride for about 45 minutes to an hour out, I landed at the bottom of the ocean both times to safely surface each time. Fast forward a couple of days later and I landed at the bottom of the ocean when going to the USS/USNS General Hoyt S. #Vandenberg while using #NITROX, and after the surface interval I SCUBA Dived safely to 65 Atmospheric Measurements with another SCUBA Diver using NITROX. Though each of the prior ocean SCUBA Dives I was with at minimum of one other SCUBA Diver, I had been the only one who landed at the bottom of the ocean each time. When I went to the Vandenberg and landed at the bottom of the ocean I had an assigned partner, though that situation did not allow him to be where I went to.
I recently read online how there is a claim if someone goes below a certain level when SCUBA Diving there is the automatic death because of the combination of the mixture and yet while that SCUBA Dive was in August 2009, this is 10 February 2021 which additionally to the time of typing this journal blog entry to the fact I have had multiple doctor appointments which have taken my pulse; I am quite alive, obviously. Since I have earned a total of 26 SCUBA Diving certifications of which including the course which that instructor had taught me which I graduated from with proverbial flying colors which even he admitted in the Austin Lake Travis area of him 'not wanting to let [me] graduate', I suppose I proved my own worth and my own capabilities which would find such a prior comment set from him to be irrelevant as well as judgmental. Ironically I had earned 15 SCUBA Diving certifications to the point of the time of earning my 16th SCUBA Diving certification from Curtis Powell Jr #173203, I would guesstimate thereafter despite the hard time I had repeatedly been given and he had admitted to 'hazing' me if he did not know I had earned as many certifications before and/or afterwards; there was a point in which such was learned, and my personal aptitude for my type of SCUBA Diving shined through to prove him and those who thought/think as him have.
I wonder how many other females he had chosen to speak as such towards, and/or if the different color hair as well as style in conjunction with tattoos had anything to do additionally with the particular view of his opinion for such. Though, you know what they say about opinions.
As I learned that SCUBA Diving was once considered as a boys club, I am glad there are more females who have learned SCUBA Diving and continued onward whether or not being in a relationship to start such education and experiences; though I am far from the first female SCUBA Diver to step forward and take the proverbial leap, into the depths of the ocean. While I am the first person who ever landed at the bottom of the ocean in depths measured by more than 5 Atmospheric Measurements at the rate of 33 feet times 3 meters times 3 feet by an extremely large difference in amount as I landed at the bottom of the area next to the USS/USNS Vandenberg prior to landing a bit deeper because of being pulled backwards and down from a situation in the area, the measurements for the Matthias Abyss is exactly that definition of Abyss. The numbers for the depth which I had gone to are much larger than most could calculate at the Atmospheric Measurements for the depth gauge I had from a UK military version of, had topped out at 999,999 or 999,999,999 when I landed at the bottom of the ocean next to the Vandenberg. Admittedly I did not look to see what the numbers were when I went deeper, as I simply wanted to enjoy my SCUBA Dive as best as I could for the short amount of time I had to get to the surface afterwards from the stated time in regards of my National Geographic Open Water SCUBA Diving certification.
Additionally though I took pictures of the first #UnderwaterPumpkinCarving contest at #ClearSpringsSCUBAPark as seen above of which if were used for the certification then I wonder where such credits are as well as such a check from for though prior to an instructor of mine as well as the prior owner of the shop I had earned my SCUBA Diving certifications from, Patti Stewart #167494 had made a certification course for such which I was told had occurred sometime after my SCUBA Diving gear was confiscated without my knowledge and then sold through UHAUL. I learned of such occurring only from a letter which I received after the entirety had been sold, though I was not informed they had my belongings until the time I received that letter as I would have gone to pick up my belongings had I been informed of them having such. $801.99 was the total my belongings were sold by UHAUL if I am correct or around that number, despite my belongings being worth far more than that. Yes I was able to get my photo albums and my SCUBA Diving certification cards, however since what had occurred since then I am curious to know how that assists now at this point in time; other than the proof of earning my certifications, that does not fix nor repair a large number of other circumstances. While the homework I had to do for one certification class for Underwater Videography was not given to me to be able to keep as the video I took was on his camera, my instructor Jeff Davis #184295 said he would email me the video I had made though I had not received the video I had made back then. Though I did graduate my classes, which ironically no different from when I was in middle school of teachers I had which wrongly denied me the credit I had earned simply because they had not done the work I had done and did not think I was befitting enough to earn the credit and the status I had earned wrongly.
Since to this day which such additional credit for what I have earned has yet to be acknowledged in the manner which I have seen others be recognized for various aspects with ceremony, pomp, circumstance, parades, and etcetera while not forgetting an argument which ensued after returning to the state of Texas after my Florida SCUBA dives; there have been points of which I have truly wondered whether or not it was worth it, after the amount of needless additional struggles which had occurred.
Sure, obviously I am alive. At this point I simply wonder what the big deal is, at this point.
There is a joke I remember #RobbinWilliams telling years ago which seems a bit befitting at this point, as he discussed a time when someone had gone to a psychologist to discuss various depressing situations. At the end of the discussion the psychologist asked the patient if he had time to go see the show by the Wonderful whatever the name was and because so-and-so can make anyone smile to which the patient said something along the lines of, you mean my show?
That particular portion of which Robbin Williams had discussed during a comedy show I listened to of his had hit me in a specific way, of which realistically the various portions of seemed befitting when looking through the various points within my own experiences in combination. As #ValentinesDay is around the corner and I was thinking about such along my drive today I realized, there is not one Valentine's Day where I can honestly say that was a good day for me; especially in reference to after waking up from my coma, from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury. The first Valentine's Day or around the time of after 2000 I had to go to the emergency room from a conversation because of a situation in reference to what was claimed I had done wrong, and having been pregnant at the time I needed to make sure everything was safe as possible. The following Valentine's Day a similar sort of situation, though I did not have the ability to get to the emergency room after that conversation; as I will simply write I was asleep, which you can do the math for how that went.
Each Valentine's Day thereafter was fairly along the similar lines up until 2008, which then I was dealing with making sure my son and my daughter were squared away as well as my ex-in-laws in reference to the situations involved; while also making sure the military personnel were aware of what needed to be taken care of for themselves and their loved ones, in such a situation preventative measure. For 2009 I was preparing to earn my first SCUBA Diving certification and in 2010, I had to defend myself around the time of Valentine's Day despite being engaged to someone who was in Basic Training at the time and the other individual knew I was engaged. The year of 2011 had been just before the last time I had seen who I once was engaged to and the Valentine's Day timeframe was the end of that relationship, of which by 2012 Valentine's Day I had dealt with getting out of a relationship which I had to push a loaded shotgun away from my face. Valentine's Day for 2013 I was dealing with the legalities for the paperwork in reference to the finalizing from the situations with my daughter because of what occurred during the Fort Worth Zoo field trip by myself, and then for 2014 I was being electrocuted each second of each minute of each hour of each day of each month of each year through to 2018 because of being in the area of SeaTac Washington with so many aspects of the technological portions. Ironically while it was a good idea in reference to the Geek Squad and Bust Buy to not allow the insurance policy for technology specifically the laptops while I was in the area of Vancouver Washington near Portland Oregon because of the amount of issues I have had with technology since waking up from the coma though especially after having landed at the bottom of the ocean specifically at the Vandenberg area despite doing as much as I could to work with in comparison to against technology, the additional irony of that portion in regards of. Though admittedly in comparison to the prior years the year of 2018's Valentine's Day the visit from the individual I was dating when I went SCUBA Diving in Florida was to arrive shortly, otherwise the only good-ish Valentine's Day I have ever had since being 18 years old biologically had been in February 2009 because of being able to work towards earning my SCUBA Diving certification. With the further education through certifications to show both of my children and teaching a bit to my son and my daughter that just because I could not have a so-called normal job nor have a college education that I still was capable of doing something worthwhile they could be proud of with my life, while also proving to myself I could accomplish more than what each I had known had marked me off at up to that point; while not forgetting the continued aspects thereof, after that point.
In some ways I suppose there might be a comedic portion as to why I truly feel a specific way towards military, law enforcement, fire department, and EMS guys though in some ways particularly have appreciated General Jim Mattis' approach in various aspects to his commentary in different ways. The fact of when being on call during even days which is supposed to be all sorts of fluffy and lovey dovey in comparison while dealing with what needs to be handled, seemingly has been a bit befitting in certain regards among other reasons as to why. Though obviously since I did not graduate Basic Training and earn such in that reference point, there are some things akin to which has a certain type of knowledge and understanding for various aspects in regards of timing especially since the year aspect of my first year being biologically an adult in reference to my first Valentine's Day from that point. Ignorantly back in both 2001 and 2002 I had thought to myself of there not being the capability to have a worse Valentine's Day, of which I learned not to think that way ever again after a certain point. At this point I would be surprised for such being more positive experiences, as for so long such has been as it has been. When looking to the Valentine's Day of 2019 and 2020 while not much in the negative by such accounts occurred aside from the beginning portions of the COVID aspect in 2020 and now into 2021, I actually have wondered if there is ever a point which such turns around for the better times. Due to only two Valentine's Day which was semi-positive for the totality of going on 21 different Valentine's Day timeframes, I now understand the term F*** Valentine's Day in a bit of a different way.
I am accustomed to hoping though also expecting, because of.
I would write of prior Valentine's Days before my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury though the only one I can remember is the year of 2000, when I was still fighting to be emancipated to be able to join the Army branch of the United States of America's Armed Forces; which I had been smoked for hours by my biological father for having the nerve to feel the need to be involved, which he was a Merchant Marine in the 1970s. For those who know how such sort of smoking goes for such types of training there is an I suppose I know why, Basic Training smoking was fairly simple comparatively by the time I actually got to Basic Training at Fort Sill Oklahoma. I suppose I can joke at minimum I have my Medal of Honor guys from my Medal of Honor Art Project who I can spend Valentine's Day with, which by all accounts in some ways is a normal day in some odd and twisted comparison for me; though obviously not in the same sort of way as most would have a Valentine's Day yet fairly befitting.
Why, you are the reader may ask? Well, when was Valentine's Day ever really all that lively in a positive way for me?
Nonetheless to attempt to end this particular journal blog entry on a positive note I will add my recent #YouTube video from earlier today, as a hopeful positive to smile about. Though only certain portions were discussed in the video compared to what was written about, such might be the better way for this particular journal blog entry to go in.