I have not hidden the fact of what I have written about including of what I have done, accomplished, certifications for SCUBA Diving, SCUBA Diving levels I have dove on my own as well as with others depending on the SCUBA Dive, as well as my Pros and Cons or also known as my positives and negatives as per this journal entry I completed on my fetlife account (1) Pros and Cons - LadyDoriBelle | FetLife if the account is open and the settings are available of course from wrongful shadow banning; though of course I could be wrong about such as it is simply odd how so many have denied knowing me, yet have had multiple discussions and situations involving various other people. You are welcome to send me a friend request, though please send me a message of how I know you on fetlife if you do so. Nonetheless prior to continuing there is a clarification which needs to be made which is there was a point which I changed my fetlife name a few times thinking that could stop the harassment and threats I had been dealing with online.
I learned otherwise since that had not stopped and the messages I received would pop up on the #fetlife website when clicking on the subject line in another window while not using the right click button to open another window, and the threatening message would show up on the computer screen. I guesstimate possibly when turning in my laptops to #GeekSquad at #BestBuy maybe they found some of the encryptions from each of the laptops I was never able to get back for one purpose or another as I was told, though not given any reason as to why by anyone I had spoken with when I was told they could not return my laptop back to me.
Nonetheless I had changed my name on fetlife thinking that would stop the threats, which of course it did not stop the threating messages. Then at some point I received another one of the pop up messages which a user had asked me about my name change to also send a link to what was a SocksForSusan or Socks4Susan account as I cannot recall the specific spelling of though the irony in reference to a male who said he knew about that account during a phone call within the last few months also in the #SanAntonio #BDSM lifestyle scene, which changed the name to my original name of #LadyDoriBelle on fetlife. Ironically shortly after those messages there would be one of the baby kitten pictures on the website saying the fetlife website was down for maintenance, throughout the years mainly of 2010 through 2012.
Why I choose my name of Lady Dori Belle in comparison to any other name available, is something I can go into later in this journal blog entry; as my purpose is to begin with a portion of which if of importance, for many aspects.
In early 2012 I had met a female named Ana or SuccubusAna on fetlife who was dating a male name Matt or boypup at an event in San Antonio #Texas, at a house party location. I was introduced to Ana through Discordia or Erika at the event, of which I have discussed and written about the situations involving the #JohnHopkinsUniversity claim she had made stating her dad was a resident doctor at and she felt because of his degree that meant she had the right to practice medicine without a doctor's license; despite knowing and understanding, she was breaking the law. As those who know, she had been arrested and went to jail for several days for stealing garden gnomes out of people's front yards; and as I was told by her of how many more paid more attention to her because of such a legal case, in comparison to what was going on in reference to my daughter and my son. I do not know if that was an additional form of a competition with her as she said she felt she needed to compete with me, as she said she saw me as a threat to her in the BDSM lifestyle; though I honestly do not know why, as I was not in competition with anyone since the time of my Tae Kwondo competition and track/field competitions/meets in high school. In brief she later acknowledged she had been testing my after effects from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury since the first time of meeting her in the lifestyle, around 2004 or 2005 at a San Antonio #BBQ location in the back building of a parking lot for that location; for those who know what the scene was in those years and locations thereof. While SuccubusAna and Matt were the first couple which Erika or Discordia had introduced to me and had encouraged me to get to know to be able to Mentor and/or help, they would not be the last. Those who know how certain situations in the short term back then had occurred, know how the long term effects were of such to a degree. Males named Ken and Joey would know a bit more, just as Alicia and Meg would as well as others; as seemingly they at those times had gotten along with Discordia or Erika quite chummily.
First I apologize for not thinking to go to the local #JBSA #LacklandAirForceBase about this situation sooner, and while some might find it to be feeling guilty requesting immunity for such; if you understood or at minimum knew what hypothetically could have been on that military laptop, you would have the feelings of such as well with the hypothetical possibilities thereof. Secondly I apologize for not reaching out to the law enforcement of higher ranking also, as that would have made just as much sense to go speak with such organizations for such. Thirdly I apologize for the hypothetical situations and compromises which hypothetically could have occurred, because I allowed myself to be so selfish as to be as concerned as I had been about what situations were occurring with my daughter and my son and I; especially as protective and as many times as I have stood up for various groups and levels of military #ArmedForces for the #UnitedStatesofAmerica, #lawenforcement, #firedepartment, and #EMS.
Getting to the point as you are able to read in her journal entry https://fetlife.com/users/273335/posts/932338 on 27 February 2012, she and Matt had gone to the #DallasGalleria to go shopping and they had many items stolen. What she did not write was she had known as Matt had known, the #USAirForce laptop that Matt or boypup had taken off of Lackland Air Force Base was in the trunk of their car as well. While yes their Leather items were stolen along with the purchases they made that day, they also did not point out they had repeatedly put bags into the trunk of their car and left the car in the parking lot overnight in the same location they had been parked in all day. When they spoke with me, they had said what occurred and though SuccubusAna or Ana seemingly write of her upset as to what occurred; when speaking with Ana and Matt on the phone, their voices did not seem rattled or even slightly upset. When seeing them in person when they returned to San Antonio, neither of them seemed bothered by the loss of their stolen items.
I remember some people I went to #OldTenantPresbyterianChurch with when I was younger growing up in #NewJersey and though I wish I had what they had in their house as a child, and as a teenager; I remember how upset each and every one of them had been for each break in to their home. I remembered the Mom being shaken, the Dad being calmly enraged, the older brother's sadden look on his face, the eldest sister's shock, the middle sister's tears, and the youngest sisters lack of understanding as to how it could occur. I remembered how the church had come together and did what they could for that family, and thus I had done what I could where I could in such. I purchased a cane that had glitter filling with a pewter yin yang symbol, a rock candle holder, and a brown with white puppy hood with a penis ball gag. I chose the brown and white instead of the black and white because almost everyone who knew me, knew my colors were and always have been the colors of black and white with sometimes a bit of red coloring as an addition to though the main colors always being black and white. There are many reasons as to why black and white are my colors and always have been my colors despite being made fun of for from 2004 onward to a point on and off to the end of 2012, though most who know my military background even though I had not graduated Basic Training for the #Army branch of the Armed Forces; that was also a remembering aspects, which made sense to me. Some may have figured such out immediately without me having to explain such, whereas other may have realized long after.
Nonetheless prior to their return to San Antonio that weekend, I had told them what to do in reference to contacting the police to make a report. When they returned to San Antonio, I told Matt he needed to contact the Air Force and inform his company Commander. He nodded and said he would which either the next day or a few days later when seeing them again, I was told he had spoken with the Captain of his company and the only thing he was told was there would be paperwork needing to be done with nothing more. I refused to accept such as an answer for such an offense and I lit into him, yelling at him despite the pain levels for what he had done. I smoked him for hours as though I was a Drill Sergeant though ironically not having such personal experience while telling him about what he did wrong, how many he put at risk, others similar to my situation who have had letters sent to them about people taking information off of the post or the VA facility, and so on and so forth.
I admit, I do not feel bad for smoking him as badly as I had. I do admit I regret not smoking him more or for a longer amount of time, just as I admit I wish at that time I had thought to contact the areas I should have realizing recently. However I also do not regret nor do I feel bad about writing about such in my first two books "Finding A Silver Lining By: Susan MeeLing" and/or "Finding the Silver Lining By: Susan MeeLing"; registering both with the #LibraryofCongress #LoC, hoping there would be someone who would read such and know what to do while also hoping many others especially such listed above could get themselves squared away in reference to the multitude in various aspects of what my son, my daughter, and I had dealt with over the years. If such had made its way to Lackland Air Force Base and/or others who knew better of who to contact for such, I am thankful and grateful you knew what to do; though I apologize for not realizing earlier, as well as I apologize for where I failed.
I know such an apology does not make up for the aspects which were hypothetically compromised and information of backgrounds hypothetically leaked if such was told to me truthfully hypothetically as I know, understand, and comprehend that my apology does not fix those situations. I do hope despite my failures there was betterment in the long term from that short term failure of mine and the malfunctions and compromises which occurred, because of me.
For what it may be worth I did my best to clean up my own mess, and I hope such can be forgiven; hence the portions of the request, of my immunity in full.
I know there are military games just as I know the point of such are to prepare soldiers for the betterment just as I know the difference in reference to video games in comparison, which while some can be used in regards of certain skillsets the other aspects of such are seemingly not as useful in the aspects of in my opinion; as in person seems to be a bit more efficient in various capacities from experiences, as well as in regards of objectives. So it is more well known, I was not playing any games with such aspects.
I suppose a bit of an irony in a few ways, I can write of at this point in time. The first oddity is the fact in 2004 I had done some energetic work on a laptop thinking such could help assist to clear up problems as well as bring healing through not only the energetic portions of Reiki healing energy, though through also #quantumhealing and additional measures; which I had done in various capacities prior to learning the term of #Reiki, conjunctively with other forms of healing. I though doing so would help the portions of those who use the internet, though the laptop caught on fire at the time. Thankfully there was a male I met who was able to get the dissertation off of the laptop, and literally saved my son, my daughter, and my lives from that situation at that time in more ways than he knew or understood at that point. The second irony in some ways I suppose is the aspects of the level of the threats which had increased dramatically after that time in February 2012, as that was when the pop ups began to increase heavily in comparison to previously only being random here and there in combination with the fetlife website having a lot more issues and problems during that time in comparison to prior years of the threats I dealt with; looking back now in 2021, which the numbers for the years are the additional point of irony. Thirdly the twisted oddity is in regards of the only time I had played #CallofDuty when asked with my son when had been later in 2012 around September or October, which there was a situation with a ricochet during the time playing the video game; albeit a funny story and time, with my son.
In reference to the aspects of my name Lady Dori Belle aside from the more well known from my explanations of for the aspects of the individual words of Lady, Dori, and Belle; I also thought it was a unique way to give the impression of and portray the aspects of both my #Dominant/#Leatherwoman/#Sadistic ways in the BDSM lifestyle, in an overall sort of way. I thought beyond the portions in reference to #Lady and the nobility while proper etiquette would automatically be implied with such and the irony of having to explain such, was also a bit more grown up despite the way I look in regards of drawing on myself with a crayon in reference to my #tattoos. I know there are those who know of my #SCUBADiving and with one of my #SCUBA Diving certifications which is a Boat SCUBA Diving Specialty, there is actually a boat called a dori; and is similar to the style of boat used in centuries past, which the amount of passengers is quite limited compared to larger boats among other reasons. I admit later I was told about a cartoon character fish named #Dory which ironically had a head injury and memory situations which I admit to having forgotten about and I had watched the movie in the theater and dealt with such to do so with both of my children, which is an additional irony. The portion in reference to the choice of #Belle has/has to do with the meaning of the word as well as of all of the #Disney movies aside from #TheLittleMermaid which I was not a fan of #Ariel using her body to talk in comparison to Belle of #BeautyandtheBeast being more inquisitive and interested in learning, though also the portions in reference to how she was able to see through even the most what others considered as hideous to see the beauty within. Though ironically my middle name of MeeLing, and one of my favorite Disney characters named #Mulan.
I admit in an odd way the name I put together seemed to fit my personality and my enjoyments in life, in conjunction with how I viewed the world. I also admit when having to give up my name albeit briefly while not denying the name later on during the time when in Washington, I had not denied and I think I also had explained some of the portions and aspects of. There was a point when at an event in #Portland #Oregon which I had spoken with a female named Sasha which because of the oddities of what had been occurring which I could not understand or explain, I had asked her about names. When I briefly told her about the portions of why I was going by what I had been known by prior to the name of Lady Dori Belle though not all of the names I had gone by in various situations and scenarios, admittedly she was busy and getting ready to do something at the location for the event; which I just went on my way, as she finished getting ready. Though I think the male who was also in the room had been listening and paying a bit more attention while she was getting her makeup on, and as I walked away it almost felt as though looking back now there might have been a moment where he tried to say something though he then needed to get something to assist the situation.
I suppose looking back now more so beyond just the portions in reference to my name of Lady Dori Belle though also because of finding out about identity theft and having to report such to authorities in May of 2013, there was a bit more and some deeper aspects which I had felt a bit beyond the what might be considered as normal; aside from the portions in reference to other aspects at the time, in combination. Admittedly the additional irony when looking at my color choices in reference to black and white, which when referring to those who know the colors of black and white in regards of one particular well known flag and the irony of my hairstyle aside from my hair color; I suppose the oddity of such additional reference to, the #POW flag in conjunction to my #MedalofHonorArtProject historical and spiritual rubbings. In some ways possibly ironically also in reference to the only female Medal of Honor recipient from the #CivilWar to this point thus far the actual physician through education #DrMaryEdwardsWalker, in conjunction of the ironic twist of the portions in reference to who I am a legal widow of in reference to that name in the middle. The ironic additional twist of such, and regarding my middle name of MeeLing and the choice for such in reference to my Bok Gung and my Bok Pu.