In reference of combining all of my journals I wrote through my original #fetlife account which I will post the link at the bottom for the clarifications thereof, I am going to have the transparency brought forward as to what can be seen from the original posting dates as to the current timeframe of this day 29 November 2021 for those to see as to my original #Facebook accounts of Susan MeeLing as well as Lady Dori Belle for the additional ability to see the connection links as to what I had discussed for many years and decades in person as well as online as to such factors as best as I could as to the circumstances. Possibly such details will assist to make sense, in the comparisons thereof as to the amounts of details though in addition I do not pretend or hide myself from my truth which others should realize it is important to be honest and truthful in many more ways than just in one or two moments as it is imperative to be more capable to recognize the truth in such aspects of life for far more than some might have realized despite all of my warnings as to what I knew to bring forward to assist as best as possible.
I will begin with posting my newer updated journals from my original account and work backwards as to the irony I noticed. There will be plenty to read in the ways of, whether or not you choose to venture into the areas of the website fetlife.
Posted on supposedly 3 January 2013 as per the date in the fetlife writing area compared to the memory of doing so in the latter point in time of the year of 2011, in comparison. I will clarify from what I remember to having actually posted and the ways of the aspects of my writing can be notated in the references of certain specific common traits as to the ways I space out and number the portions of the specifics when certain details are of extreme importance for the clarity to assist seeing as the ways I personally write.
I created 5 lists of "13 Things" that ... me and what I want to do about my life.
Today 3 January 2013, I sat down and wrote everything out.
It is my hope that all comes true, for the highest good, for myself and my children and my family...
1.) Any and all negative overtly dramatic individuals who have any cause by purposefully choice to needlessly purposefully add situations which I do not need, as to the factors of how I have dealt with situations.
2.) Anything and everything that prevents me or tries to prevent me from being true to myself, to honestly love and accept myself for who I truly and genuinely am; as the specifics of what I personally know for what are my best interests, as to my personal knowledge of myself as to understanding the differences between needs as to the differences as to wants as to the differences as to the realities of desires.
3.) Any individual at all that does not want, allow, and/or tries to prevent me from creating the life that I need for myself and/or tries to prevent me from creating the life that I want for myself, I simply do not have time for those types of situations.
4.) Everything and anything that counteracts with what holds me back from absolute happiness in genuine truth, as to what I comprehend is best for myself.
5.) Whatever, whomever, however, anything that tries to interrupt needlessly maliciously to my life as to my lack of a need for such.
6.) Anything and everything that hampers my ability to imagine what is necessary for me to come to fruition; anything and everything which is of a mistreatment, I have the capability to know what is actual proper correct treatments of which I do not need any other problems in my life.
7.) All types and forms of negative luck, there is no need to me of those types of situations.
8.) Whatever and whoever and any/everything that prevents me from being prosperously abundant in life with all positive forces for my ideals are aspects which are needed to stay away, as per my preferences of what I know and understand is best for myself.
9.) Everything and anything that impedes me from living my life to the fullest, that impedes me from laughing at all enjoyable aspects, and that impedes me from loving my life in every single way; those are situations, which I do not need.
10.) What all holds me back from celebrating everything which I see is important to celebrate, can get and stay out of my way.
11.) Any and all that clouds me with illusions to close off genuine clarity, there is the lack of the need for that type of aspect.
12.) Whatever, whomever, however, anything that is in the way of my tranquility; whatever, whomever, however anything that is in the way of me keeping my calm during various situations; and whatever, whomever, however, anything that is in the way of me being able to relax as I see fit for myself is unnecessary for me.
13.) Anything and everything that blocks any sort of love from or to my children and my family, I have no need for those types of individuals in my life involved in whichever possible way thereof unless for my best interests.
1.) I now fully open my entire being to be accepting of all that is positive for me...from now to eternity...
2.) I now fully open my entire being to be accepting of all love for myself and for who I am and for who I will become...from now to eternity...
3.) I now fully open my entire being to be accepting of and just as willing to give love to my children and my family, in all ways...from now to eternity...
4.) I now fully open my entire being to be accepting of all good luck and to be accepting of all prosperity for me; in every single way possible; and I also fully open my entire being to take advantage of each and every opportunity...from now to eternity...
5.) I now fully open my entire being to be accepting of all reflections from lessons that I have learned, and will learn, to gain knowledge and wisdom...hopefully, as gentle as easy as possible...from now until eternity...
6.) I now fully open my entire being to be accepting of all that I can imagine; I now fully open my entire being to allow myself to believe; I now fully open my entire being to see and to visualize as I create all that which is for my highest good...from now to eternity...
7.) I now fully open my entire being to a pleasingly peaceful existence; I now fully open and accept for myself to all comfort available for the entirety of me; and I now fully open my entire being to open and accept for myself, all that is calmly soothing for me...from now to eternity...
8.) I now fully open my entire being to become inspired by the beauty of the world...from now to eternity...
9.) I now fully open my entire being to allow myself to be focused with clarity in all that I do...from now to eternity...
10.) I now fully open my entire being to be able to laugh whole-heartedly; I now fully open my entire being to be able to love fully; and I now fully open my entire being to be able to live my life to the fullest, in every little, big, and everything in between - way that brings me genuine happiness within my entire self...from now to eternity...
11.) I now fully open my entire being to celebrate and be thankful in all ways for everything that I am blessed with...from now to eternity...
12.) I now fully open my entire being to be accepting of all positive Spiritual entities/energies to aid me, guide me, cleanse me, bless me, and accept me within their realm and visa versa...from now to eternity...
13.) I now fully open my entire being to be accepting of all that I want; I now fully open my entire being to be accepting of my desires; I now fully open my entire being to be accepting of my needs; I now fully open my entire being to be accepting of all to come forth to me and materialize for me to accept for myself and my highest good for pure happiness...from now to eternity...
1.) People who do not take the time or have the care to look past my tattoos, my hair, and my over-all exterior appearance anger me.
2.) Those who go by whatever one has heard as far as RUMORS are concerned, and do not have the balls to actually see who I really am; truly needlessly upsets me, as I prefer in truth discussions compared to the rumors aspects which have the capability to be clarified.
3.) Anyone who thinks to cause needless problems with me, my children, and/or my family, infuriates and enrages me which I do not need as to such.
4.) Seeing people who suffer unnecessarily because of biases, saddens me as to comprehending such situations as long as I have dealt with.
5.) Anyone without love there is my sympathy, as to the reality of reviewing such situations as to beginning officially as to the emotional intellectual reviewal of such factors in the years of 2019 into 2020 and 2021 compared to the original point in time of posting the situations. I have dreamt of genuinely truthful love as to the soul mate factors, of which I knew I am different and the aspects of what I prefer are as I view such, referencing the type of relationship I prefer for myself. Thus, I comprehend far more than some ever might have thought about as to any such point in time.
6.) Every single ounce there is of lack of compassion for others, when needed annoys me.
7.) Femi-Nazis, misogynists, chauvinists, and pretty much any versions as to the types of a negative extreme angers me.
8.) Those who believe that soldiers are baby killers and nothing but trouble or whatever of the like...oh...yeah...THOSE PEOPLE...hmph...I will spare all of my fullest feelings of those types of individuals...
9.) Everything negative for every single being within this Universe, I hope would disappear for all so only the positive may flow; as other such factors saddens me, though the strength of my heart as to the knowledge and understanding and comprehension of various factors hopefully truthfully bring forward a more positive and beneficial way as to knowing what saddens me.
10.) Ignorance, lack of care with lack of action to educate oneself/learn, know-it-alls, arrogance, egotistical people, narcissism, judge-mental people, etc truly needlessly aggravate me.
11.) Every single person who thinks that there is no need to be Mentored in any way, shape, or form; at any point in their lives causes me make my shake my head at their ignorance and lack of care to further their growth in a positive manner in my opinion.
12.) Lack of concern for genuine safety from what I have seen in certain areas and sections thereof, upsets me.
13.) Non-organized areas or places where the energy does not flow smoothly as per what I know is most ideal brings out my CDOness, as there are reasons for various specifics for a reason.
1.) Honesty, respect, integrity, sincerity, ethical morals, trustworthiness, timeliness, cleanliness, and being genuinely truthful all at once...makes me happy and keeps me happy.
2.) Laughter and enjoyment that is from the heart, makes me smile...
3.) Feeling fulfilled in what I can do and accomplish, each and every day...makes me and keeps me happy...
4.) Both of my children; together and individually...make and keep me happy...and when they are smiling...the joy that emanates from my heart is over-whelming, at times...
5.) The happiness and good things that go to my family...that makes and keeps me happy...
6.) Learning from to progress forward, truly makes me happy. ;)
7.) Seeing growth in people who have been working and struggling for a bit of time...makes me smile for them and their accomplishments...and makes me proud to know them...and be able to witness their advancements as time has gone on...makes me proud to know them and proud for them...it is what it is at this point of such a review time as to the year of 2021
8.) EVIL GRIN
The fact that my status was moved from a mere mortal to a timeless and unfading Goddess in people's eyes...hee hee hee...that makes me smile ever-so effervescently...I mean...I was deemed an animal totem...I had pictures made for me...I had pictures found for me...I had poems and songs written about me...
...sigh...
Such wonderful memories...such beautiful thoughts...
Knowing that I am not able to get out of people's heads...sigh......I...I feel...I feel so...HONORED...
I mean...the Llama, much like other animal totems...are so mis-judged when it comes to their appearance...but their spiritual meanings ALWAYS triumph over all...
The fact that I was bestowed the Llama...I mean...it stands for sure-footed-ness, ability to move through paths, stubbornness to make things happen, endurance under difficult situations, dependability, balance, and perseverance towards worth-while goals...I mean...wow...
I am shocked...I am honored...and I am humbled at the fact that my hard work has been recognized...
I...I feel so special...and not even in the "-ed" way...
Wow...
...thank you to everyone who made this feeling of joy possible...
My humble servants...you have raised me and elevated me to a status that I never thought was possible for me...and who keep "Me" alive...
...thank you...
9.) Smoking...cigarettes...ash trays...of all forms...they make me smile. I appreciate the ability to use each one as I have...as there are SO MANY different types of ash trays in the world...and each one is unique and has it's own properties that make them a wonderful subject for the ashes of my smoke...as I stand and sit while enjoying my puffs.
10.) The ability of being able to change my name, at any time after learning about such in reference to what I told people about as to what I was dealing with in person as well as online as to the years of 2009 onward to 2012 as I thought that was actually a saving grace at the time as to the situations going on before the year of 2013 and what occurrences thereof. I thought "that makes me EXTREMELY happy...and KEEPS MY CHILDREN AND I SAFE...and alive...hopefully for the purest of the best forward..." and then the occurrences thereof...
11). Being able to walk into a room and see my friends instantly cheer up as they see me and I see them. Enjoying each other's company, no matter where we are, no matter what the situation is, no matter who is around...it makes my heart sing for the highest tunes when I am able to enjoy myself with my friends and not allowing anything else to bother the time we have together...but at the same time...enjoying the surroundings that we are in, so I can take everything in...and seeing that no matter what bad or negativity there is...we are still smiling and laughing and taking pleasure in all that we are doing...well, that was a bit of time ago as to the prior moments in those years of 2012 in comparison for if there were others who chose to edit my work and they did not realize the fetlife posting time change as to the editing portions back then in those years prior to if such coding changed as to the ability to see as to such factors as to the situations in reference to Geek Squad and Best Buy...though since such reference aspects as to "The Modern Day Book (Written) By: Reverend Susan MeeLing" as per how I have been open and honest in such comparisons as to the reference a few weeks ago and the individuals I saw who recognized one another and reunited in a happy and positive way.
...and I will admit...if some other beings suffer when I am in my Dom Lifestyle...however that particular is seen as to such factors I suppose when reviewing certain situations in reference to handling situations in regards of whichever whether you saw the pictures as to such or not...OH...sigh...yeah...
That just re-sends me back to Goddess status, for I then know that I have been in their thoughts...
...and...as I said...being a Goddess is just an AMAZING feeling...sarcasm...those who have actually known me in person have known of my sarcasm...as in the year of 2009 through 2013 I obviously had not ever actually seen myself as such or even into the year of 2019 as to such factors...
...yet...so...humbling...
12.) Knowing that when I have given my all, and I succeed past expectations...that makes me REALLY happy...
13.) Giving my children every bit of my heart and my soul...sigh...
There is nothing better...
1). Pay off all debt for myself to clear all of my debts in full possible...
2.) Create and keep savings for emergencies and vacations and special occurrences and so on...
3.) Be myself, create my life as I want, and live without any worry of anything harmful; with my children and family.
4.) Get wet as to the SCUBA terminology in certain regards though in the correct and proper ways, and other beach types of several places...as I have some image ideas...
5.) Take my children on a real Family Vacation...another one...and another...year after year...after year...and etc...
If I had my drothers...home would be the first vacation...for SO many reasons...if it was prior to a certain point in time...now reviewing such in the year of 2021...
6.) Be in less pain...
7.) Be genuinely happier with each day that goes by...finding more and more things to appreciate about life...
8.) This one...well...this one is a bit of a confession...and the likelihood of it coming to fruition and materialize for me to have and enjoy...for the rest of time...sigh...well...shrugs...
I would like to find someone who appreciates me for me...accepts me for me...wants me for me...needs me for me...desires me for me...and...maybe...even...actually genuinely truthfully love me for who I am...
I will admit...I do have the desire for a relationship where I am someone's top priority...where I am always on their mind...where they are thinking of different ways for us to enjoy time together...where I am brought and kept forward instead of shadowed and in the dark...where I am genuinely cared for, genuinely wanted, genuinely desired, and genuinely needed for me and who I am and who I am going to become...where I am appreciated and am granted devotion and loyalty...where...in genuine truth and adoration in love positively...sigh...
9.) Get out to do more...as per my preferences...
10.) Volunteer more...even in the smallest of ways...whether it is to help set up or take down...whether it is at a shelter or at a food bank...something...irony as to how much in the timeframe of 2013 through 2020 and possibly even this year in 2021...
11.) Write where I need to more often then continue onward as to living life more fully and enjoyably as to with in such references...
12.) Relish and savor in my time with my children more...as to my preferences taken into balanced consideration...
13.) Appreciate my time with my family more...in positive ways that are actually helpful and genuinely in truth for the positive betterment...
"13 Things..." 5 Lists finished and completed... - LadyDoriBelle | FetLife
www. fetlife .com/users/484330/posts/1345694
I suppose in an odd way a review of such as to the volunteer time aspects as to which capacity especially as to such factors, in reference to the length of time as to my Medal of Honor Art Project trips in conjunction as to other volunteer time as to the years of 2015 through 2018 mainly when looking back to then from this point in the year of 2021 in November on the 29th.
I suppose a different grouping of what to look into next as to such factors as to where I need to be for myself and my best interests as I suppose I simply have the relationship factors as to having established myself, as what to go into in such references as what options are available as to such aspects. I know I have some additional writing to get into in different topic formats once I complete combining the aspects as to being open and transparent while notating what I have seen which fetlife could find as to whether there was such a situation, as per the information I have already brought forward as to the best of my ability to the amounts of situations specifically in reference to the technological portions as to the individuals and/or groups as to having been near such devices as to the types as well as the times as best as I can recall in addition to having cleared the timeline portions as best as I could for the additional clarifications while remembering as to the under oath portions as to the Virginia aspects as well.
In turn a larger aspect of life I suppose truly does have to go, into that relationship factor. Though the reality of which I am open to though not officially looking though if something occurs then something occurs, if there is that connection forward aspect.
Otherwise the situations as to what I could be interested in regarding the aspects thereof, what would I personally prefer to work on for myself now that my children are above the ages of 18 years old is something which I knew the day would arrive. Though as I would guess any parent would have such a confusion though the harder hitting aspects as to the ways thereof in such comparisons, which the after effects from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury in conjunction as to other situations as to figuring such out for myself.
I have been working on several aspects which includes doing my best to remember better to organize the situations of a different degree in a clear and concise way as to what I have known would push me in a specific direction as to knowing how to work with certain factors of which in the limitations I know best for myself which would assist jarring such memory factors as to the specifics thereof, the ways which my teeth would be much more helpful if it were not the situations as to the aspects thereof when doing so as to such factors as to the additional pain it truly does add while I have been working on such memories to clarify as to the timeline situations of what I am thankful to have been able to find specifics of as to the levels which are more ideal as to the assisting factors of such clarifications as those particulars were not in the state of Texas to the specifics I personally required for such situations. Though I am glad for being capable to clarify further as to the details for the ability to bring such other portions forward as to such situations, once I get to the level I know I need to be at which my teeth would benefit much better if I could get that portion fully taken care of correctly as to the aspects thereof to the situations which in such aspects I need to go into details of. However, I have already brought that forward repeatedly as to what I know of for myself as to my comfort as to what actually works in comparison as to what I have dealt with for the length of time I have dealt with by the varying levels and degrees of situations.
Irony, I have worked to be capable to create the comfort I need for myself and yet with as much work as I have done the small things as to the sizes have been important as to such factors in a way similarly to how I personally viewed the situations in the year of 2004 as to the factors of the appointment aspects.
However in such references even when having gone towards the medical facilities as to such actual medical treatments as I have known I have needed, in comparison as to the occurrences instead as to what medical healthcare I have needed as to the comparison of what I have wrongfully been denied over how many years or is it over a decade as to certain factors yet?
...oh wait...it was over a decade in the year of 2019...I forgot...that is correct...and what is it I ever actually did to ever be mistreated as I have been in comparison as to asking me in truth as to such situations in comparison to what occurred in reference to the combinations thereof to my son #Letters4James and my daughter #Letters4Lidia and I #ReverendSusanMeeLing #LadyDoriBelle #SusanMeeLing since what year officially?
What have I done compared to what others have done towards me in the comparisons, and what is considered as actual treatments compared to mistreatments and which has actually been found to be correct and as unbiased as possible?
Others can reach out and send friend requests in reference to the aspects online if in truth, as it is known as to the ways of such factors as per the situations thereof.